A/N: Sorry, I know I said I'd upload the consummation chapter, but I reminded myself that it's best to prioritize the plot given that this work is not a work of porn even if it contains intimate scenes. That being said, I do want to say that I'll be uploading the consummation chapter in the next update; I just didn't want it to feel forced or rushed, and I wanted to set the stage for it properly. Anyhow, thanks for understanding, lovelies!
Chapter 91: Dissonance
The Moon Spirit certainly had a way with her tranquilizing effects on La, so the haze of his sleep was strong. Yet, he would flail out of his slumber at some points in the night, briefly forgetting all the reasons for his influx of shame and caution. He would forget about the beastliness of his own body, the observation that he wasn't shifting back to his normal self at the expected speed, even the reason for his profound sleepiness. He would instead be calmed from the assurance that she was always there in front of him when he opened his eyes, and he would sink into sleep again.
And he dreamed. Remembered, rather. Relived the longing from the Spirit World. How he was broken into two pieces, which subsequently broke apart into millions.
He lay near the pond in his lair, lost in the shadows, tired from his inward battles. With the aid of his warming chest glow, he took to composing himself after Yue's stunts at T'Sou-ke Kenji, ripped apart from the mere thought of what could've happened to her. He was also trying to shake off his glare, for only seconds before, right after he'd ordered her to stop visiting the physical world for good, she'd insisted on healing that human who had overdosed on sleeping pills for her sake. The Ocean Spirit could do nothing but cave in to her desperate pleas, allowing her only partial freedom from now onwards. It took every ounce of his being to handle the anxiety that churned in his waters. It wasn't until he sensed the presence of the Messenger Spirit that he shot up and stared at the entrance, bursting with, "Well? Is she back yet?"
The spirit changed colors from a calmed yellow to an alert red. "Yes, Great Spirit, she's back."
Little by little, La's tension ebbed away, and he melted back down to the floor, his humanized form sprawled like wild tributaries of a flowing river. "And what of that human?"
"She saved him. Healed him in time."
Some deep part of him just wanted Yue to give up her fight against her feelings. Why constantly shake his world by putting herself in danger when she had every right in the world to give up the Spirit World and find happiness? Even if it meant imbalance? He would try to manage things somehow, finding strength from the fact that she's happy. That if she's happy, Tui will be happy. Besides, several spirits have forsaken their spirit status for the human world out of false hopes from bringing about peace and experiencing happiness. Tui and La themselves were the very first of that kind, settling in the physical world to help the humans. And as much as La regretted this move on his and Tui's part, there was no reason for Yue to regret it. Her lover earned his title rightly for how utterly enchanted and in love he was with her, how he was willing to leave the world of the living to join her. Instead of having Yue suffer from the ideals of detachment, which La himself loathed to the core out of his bond with Tui, why not have Yue experience life in its kinder side? Have her marry the man she loves, give her the opportunity to start a family of her own, help her regain her status as the rightful Chieftess, Queen of the Water Tribe? Better that she is happy than willing to take risk.
But...BUT...what if Yue was Tui herself? The thought he had dismissed when he first saw Yue and did not recognize her to be Tui...now that same thought was resurfacing. It had always been in several degrees through the decades but now… The Ocean Spirit looked at his hand, which was transitioning into a paw out of the overwhelming nature of his emotions. He could remember the ecstasy he felt when he pulled her out of the physical world, away from the dangers inflicted by T'Sou-ke Kenji. How he felt completely at one with Tui in that moment, how his happiness had briefly returned before he had to let Yue's hand go.
She was Tui! She had to be!
BUT...
Her happiness...
Even if he somehow managed to uphold the worlds with the piece of Tui within him, he knew it would never be adequate, never be enough to satiate his spirit. Could the ocean handle it if Yue left? If she really was Tui and if she left…? For that human who could never completely satisfy her need to be truly loved?
"Great Spirit?"
La sighed, cutting off his thoughts. "Well, now that that's over, she must no longer get in the way of my karmic order. She's gotten far too much freedom as it is. If it's a matter of healing, then fine, I'll swallow my worries, but she can no longer leave the comfort of the Spirit World for the sake of changing one's fate in any other way. It is on my will that humans reap what they sow, and I am not going to allow her to change that."
"Is she still allowed to explore the other universes?" the Messenger asked. "She likes to do that. Well...it sometimes distracts her from watching over that human all the time."
La softened up. "Yes...yes, of course…I wasn't saying she shouldn't…Why would I take away from what she wants? Dammit, it's not really the karmic system I'm worried about. She can still do whatever she likes. She must." His voice wavered as he struggled to get himself together. "But she can't get involved in anything that endangers her in any way. You saw her today. We all saw her. Running through the physical world with explosives attached to her. Just to save those despicable humans!"
"Because she's just like Mother, as you'd expect," the Messenger rasped, also shaken by the memory of what could have happened. "Even with the laws of karma in place, she still doesn't like seeing people be hurt in any way. She doesn't want people to face the same neglect and pain she had faced as a child. It's all about withdrawing the boomerang, not launching it."
"I was very laid back about her actions all this time because she'd never experienced any kind of freedom or sense of purpose or belonging as a human princess. I let her learn all that she wanted to learn about. I let her travel the throughout the different worlds, all throughout the pluriverse with no barrier of time and space save for the physical world. I let her do whatever she wanted. But she's taking things too far. I mean, how could she?! Did she even think about the consequences?!"
"But she's immortal. She doesn't have to fear anything."
"She's immortal by physical world standards only. Don't you know the deal?! If a spirit spends too much time in the physical world and doesn't take a moment to delve back in the Spirit World, it will succumb to the environment and start to behave like a physical being, and if it stays in that state long enough, it eventually becomes one and will perish on the spot! Float away like millions of dust particles disappearing into thin air. There's a reason why there are two separate realms to begin with! She's not aware of what would happen if she stays out in the physical realm for too long! AND MARK MY WORDS, if ANYTHING happens contrary to her well-being, I will DESTROY ALL THERE IS AND ALL THERE WILL BE!"
The Messenger gulped as the lair echoed with La's threat. The spirit collapsed back on the ground, though, spent from exertion.
"B-But she's an extension of Mother. She shouldn't be affected. She has complete freedom...she has you..."
She has you. It tore at his heart. "That's just it," he softened. "She must just be an extension. A lesser one. Otherwise, why would she not have a piece of me like I have a piece of Yin?" And he brushed his paw over his chest, stroking his glow. His other hand raked its developing claws at the boulder near him. "I wouldn't have to worry about this if she was actually Tui, but...but I don't know…I don't know what she is. I don't even feel like myself to stop and think any further. I feel so lost and unbalanced."
The Messenger was fearful. For the state of the worlds, for the state of the Great Spirit. "Oh Grand One, why should you still fear? You saved her. So long as you are with her, she will be safe."
"If I really was that competent, I would've ignored Tui's pleas long enough to annihilate that scum of a firebender before he got to the Oasis. But nooo, the Goddess of Radical Compassion had to calm me down. She just had to have things go her way...aah..." La shut his eyes, his central glow intensifying to mellow him further. "What am I even doing here? Existing? I should be annihilated without Tui for this long..."
"Don't say that, Great One. Yue is connected to Her, is she not? You must be strong for her, at least. Why, you even worry about her for the same reasons you worry about Tui."
"Damn these ambiguous connection theories. Why can't Yue be Tui herself?" The ocean bit his lip with his forming fangs. "Sometimes I let myself wonder…"
The Messenger figured this was the right time to get across what every spirit, every speck of creation was thinking. "To be honest...that's what the other spirits are wondering, too, Great Father Spirit. I, too, am one of them. Think about it. If her entry into the Spirit World revived the place completely, then she has to be Tui, right? To be frank, she's every part the Great Mother Spirit. That is...except for the distance between the two of you."
"That isn't a tiny issue."
"But the Mother Spirit promised you that she will always be with you. That she will always rise again like the phoenix and come back to you. Why is it that we have to still wait? She could already be here. She could've returned as Yue. Maybe it's just a matter of nudging her in the right direction or getting rid of some sort of illusion..."
"What about the fact that she's in love with that human? What about that?"
"Oh...that…well, I mean…"
"Should I tell her she's Tui and force her to love me? Is anyone even Tui if she should be forced to love me? You really think Tui would stop loving me for any reason?" La turned away, feeling his body inflate as his animal form gained height and weight. "Trust me, I really want to believe that Tui is Yue and get rid of that hideous human who's in the way… I mean, when I pulled her out of the physical world just minutes ago...I touched her hand. And...and I knew that touch. I knew it! And I thought that it was Her. I was so...ecstatic, I...I wanted to do nothing but bring her back here… But I had to tell myself that she can't be Tui if..."
"Great Spirit—"
"She's been keeping her distance from the lair. To this day, she hasn't set foot in here. If she was Tui, she would've stepped in by now. If Tui is someone who comforts any being that's in pain, then why can't she see my pain? She would've recognized me, pulled me close. She wouldn't have bowed to me like a stranger."
"Then what is it about you going to see her?" the messenger questioned. "Why is it that you have never stepped out to see her? What's holding you back from going up to her and striking up a conversation?"
La swallowed. "Because I don't want to be rejected. It's not me who she loves. And it's only Tui that I love. And it's painful not knowing if she's Tui or not because she's exactly like..."
"What if there was a way to prove she is Tui and get her away from the illusion that the human is her lover? I mean, there's only one way to know if she's legitimately Tui Herself or an extension for sure. She needs to step into your lair."
"Forget it. She deems herself so inferior that she would never dare to step into my lair."
La's glow sent another wave of mellowness over him and brought him back down to his calmer form. He turned over on his stomach, eyeing the small pond that served as his outlet into the Spirit Oasis. His paw-like fingers dipped into the water and swirled around, grabbing hold of something that glimmered beneath the water: a luminous pearl. Moments upon contact with him, the pearl shifted into a speck of snow and floated atop the pond. It swiveled to form a tiny yin symbol, and the water around it swirled into its corresponding shape, completing the puzzle with a tiny yang.
"My Tui is never distant from me no matter what the circumstance," he mumbled, feeling sleep and tears starting to conquer him slowly. "Some illusions are so great, so powerful. Even for me. And the longer it takes Her to have mercy on me...the more prone I become to them."
"Mercy…" panted Sokka, shifting in his sleep. "Yue…"
It had been a chaotic night for the tribesfolk in the Northern capital. Immediately following the fall of the white marble into the ocean, the waters encased it as if the Deity of Water himself caught it in his arms. Barely seconds afterward, clouds upon clouds of mist rose up and blinded all in their wake. The mist enveloped the entire shore and curbed the flames of torches and the sacred solstice fires, leaving hundreds of thousands of people panicking and many rituals abandoned. Even Aang and Katara's efforts (combined with the Avatar's command over the other elements) did not amount to much in trying to quell the mist's intensity, and the best thing anyone could do was remain still to the best of their ability. This proved to be difficult, however, for mass panic was never to be underestimated, and the cries of the pious over the "fall" of the Moon Spirit sent disappointment and grief as companions for the widespread panic. Since most of the palace was in ruins save for remnants of the citadel watchtower, Aang somehow managed to fly up to the tower and sounded the gongs, eventually succeeding in capturing the public's attention and relaying to them that the mist, however it sustained its own intensity, was not to be trifled with, for it may have spiritual properties.
And indeed it did, for the storms which ravaged the mainland for the past few weeks came to an abrupt halt, and the water calmed significantly from the statue's touch as if Tui had finally fallen into La's embrace, constantly drenched in his affection and inspiring an eerie quiet among the tribesfolk.
It wasn't until the first light of dawn hit the city that the mist finally began to clear away. Those who began to see clearly ahead of them were flabbergasted. Out of further panic, they scrambled away, warning others to do so as well. Aang squinted his eyes, finally catching a glimpse of all that lay in front of them. He, too, was shocked to see that before them was not the ocean as they expected to see but land. More treacherous tundra, in fact, looming ahead like a separate island that had somehow suddenly attached itself to the mainland, pushing back the waters and glistening beneath the early sun rays. Only there was no other island in this area of the North as opposed to the Arctic's outskirts. Something stuck out from the snow at the very front; it was a gate. A spirit gate. Exactly like the one that was in the Spirit Oasis. And as the ice stretched on behind it for who knew how far, snow mountains towered into view, fighting their way through the dispersing mist to proudly make themselves known. Somehow, Aang could sense a kind of rhythmic spiritual vibration coming from the direction of the newly-formed land, and the landscape looked almost as if it was formed from a slumbering Tui and La; the dark mountains and waters surrounding the hilly tundra were like the dark spirit's arms wrapped around his cosmic consort. Some of the glacial patterns, too, seemed to resemble a woman's face, and the ledges on the mountainside resembled a man's face.
But that was left to the imagination of the pious. The current appearance of the landscape was sudden if not bizarre for its strange aura.
By now, people were getting really restless. The pious began screaming invocations to the Moon and Ocean spirits. Aang hovered above them on his glider, capturing their attention. "Everyone needs to stay calm! I'm going to check it out!"
Katara insisted on joining him, followed closely by Appa, and the trio ended up stepping carefully into the new landmass and walking beneath the spirit gate. The atmosphere suddenly began to feel strange in a way they couldn't explain.
"It doesn't feel like normal earth or snow," Katara noted, reaching down to touch the snow and feeling a surge of calming energy surge through her. "But I guess it also does?"
Appa growled in the affirmative.
"It's definitely strange," Aang felt the snow as well. "Like...like the hexagon on the back of that lion turtle I met before I defeated Ozai." Aang tried bending and succeeded, sending a whiff of air in the direction of the mountains. "Bending works."
They walked a little ways until they lost sight of the crowds behind them. No one else had dared to step in yet, but there really wasn't much to be afraid of other than the suddenness and the fact that it was potentially sacred land. A few more miles into the terrain, they still found nothing profoundly weird or unusual. Eventually, they came to a gushing river that wound its way into a tiny village. Looming before them was a sign: Welcome to Selamiut.
"Selamiut? The name sounds familiar," Aang noted.
"It's listed as one of the several small islands in the Northern outskirts, but aren't the outskirts in the other direction?" Katara said, baffled. "We're in the tundra right now. Only a few miles away from here."
"Yeah, and...where is this river coming from?" The airbender's stormy eyes followed the trail of the rapidly surging water, unable to trace its beginnings. "It should technically be connected to the ocean, but it's really windy. Not how the Jumri'aq River should be. Plus there's more land in that direction—" he pointed eastward, "—and to the west," he pointed to the area right across from the river. Feeling strangely about the appearance of the atmosphere, he then looked up at the sky and noted that it was now significantly darker. Streaks of orange and pink painted some of the clouds, evoking a kind of atmosphere that was either sunrise or sunset, he couldn't tell which.
"I thought the sun was already up," Katara turned around and looked at the sky in the direction they came from; it was significantly brighter as the North should be at the moment. The sun, too, was visible. She then looked ahead at the sky surpassing the mountains that they were yet to cross; it was significantly darker, much more than the dark "transition" sunrise-sunset colors looming over the village. And behind one of the mountain peaks, she thought she saw clouds making way for a round moon, almost full but still hesitant in showcasing its luster.
"Okay, this is really strange," Katara breathed. "And those mountains are starting to seem extremely familiar to me, too."
"They do, don't they? Almost like..."
"Like the South's Mangatuq Mountains…but that's impossible," Katara said. "There's no way..."
"What if we went a little further? Maybe explore the village and ask around?"
They began to hear footsteps behind them and saw that it was Zuko making his way towards them, followed closely by many of his guards.
"What's going on—" he paused, staring at the village's welcome sign and then turning to Aang. "For some reason, I thought Selamiut was supposed to be in the outskirts?"
"It is, but we don't know what it's doing here."
"You're saying an entire village got teleported?"
"I don't know what's up," the Avatar admitted. "All I know is that we need to start exploring more of this. Zuko, I need you to see where this river leads you," he pointed to the massive river that wound its way out of the village and into the unexplored land to the east. "Because the Jumra'iq River isn't supposed to be all windy."
"Guys!" It was Toph this time, accompanied by a few tribesmen and Fire Nation guards. She didn't need assistance, either, and ran through the snow just as she would if it were earth. "I sense something extremely earthy in that direction," she pointed westward.
"Earthy?" Katara asked in bewilderment.
"I can't explain it, but I'm picking plenty of vibrations in that direction. And they're weird vibrations, for sure."
"Alright, whatever this is, we'll figure it out," Aang said resolutely. "I need a few soldiers to follow Chief Bei Fong to the west. Zuko, head east and see where this river's coming from. Katara and I will take a look through the village."
"Step...lair...Yue…"
It was a repeated slip of his tongue in the throes of slumber, and Yue didn't know what they could mean other than suggest a dream of sorts. The word "lair" also brought on memories which caused her to tremble with goosebumps, but she told herself that for Sokka's sake, she was going to put behind her spiritual past. She was going to give it her all to do so. She also knew, however, that her wisdom of the cosmos were what allowed her to stay calm in a scenario like this because had anyone else been in her place, they would've fainted, ran away, or gone crazy in the least. She had seen reality in its fullness. Regardless of her perspective as a naive human or all-knowing Goddess or both, being Tui Herself in human form, she was by default the aggregate of all knowledge. Besides, she was the one who told him about totemic effects on certain individuals, so despite her shock, it would only make sense for her to be fascinated than repulsed by his lupine form, which sought refuge in her grasp.
She realized this wasn't his first time undergoing lycanthropy; some of the events from their escape finally came rushing back to her, and she remembered regaining consciousness from a previous breakdown and finding him in this same form while he raged at the other tribesmen. She remembered how they were driven out of the palace, how everyone feared Sokka's beastly side and were disgusted by her return. The more she thought about it, the more firmly the scene grew fixed in her mind, and the more easily she recognized the same distress in him— a kind of distress that was all-consuming and continued to make him tremble in his sleep. She had many more doubts, obviously, like the white of the spot on his fur, the increased darkness of his skin as of recent, the dreams and visions she'd repeatedly dismissed up until now. She tried to explain them away to herself somehow. She tried to convince herself that this really was what she predicted as far as totem animals went and that her coma-induced dreams meant nothing. But she could not ignore—how long could she possibly ignore?— the further possibilities when she knew that something was happening beyond her insistence of it being otherwise. The fact that Sokka was born on the solstice, the fact that his totem was the wolf, the dreams and visions she'd experienced…
It couldn't be more obvious that the warrior had to have been touched by the ocean just as she was touched by the moon, and as sudden and overwhelming as the realization was for her, she couldn't keep running away from it.
But... how? Could it be that her connection with Tui was rekindled somehow? How exactly is she related to Tui now? What would this mean for Sokka? How was he related to La? Did La attempt to connect with Sokka strictly because the warrior was her husband? Was Sokka even aware of what his lycanthropy could mean? If anything, he definitely had to have panicked when it first happened. And coming back to her dreams...was this what her dreams were trying to tell her? And if Yue's relationship with Tui was revived, how was she supposed to feel? She still felt human. Ordinary despite her abilities. Was she supposed to return to the ambiguity she felt since her childhood, never to truly know how she and the moon were related? And what about her Spirit World experiences?
"You are not my Tui...but you are certainly infused with Her life force. You are bonded with Her in a way even She might not recognize."
No matter what happened, no matter how obvious anything seemed in front of her, this statement alone from La Himself in the Spirit World was enough to convince her that she still couldn't actually be Tui. Not to mention how removed La was from Sokka that even if they did have a special connection, La would've told her, wouldn't he? And yet at the thought of both La and Sokka, vague nostalgia crept into her, confusing her even more. How she feared putting two and two together, feared everything such conclusions could mean, how they were leading her towards a path she was afraid to take. That's why she stuck to the only clear confirmation she had about anything at the moment: that in the very least, he was a Lycan— an advanced breed of manwolf in physique and all other means.
The radio announcers, though, called him other things. As the world continued to storm outside, the announcers, having extracted all the information they could from the testimonies of a few guards the past couple of weeks, finally disclosed what they've gathered, thus shattering all hopes of confidentiality. The arrest of Anyu was widely publicized along with the narrative that kept reverberating through what was left of a torn-down palace in three different veins: the attack of the mysterious bloodbending monster, the elopement of Councilman Sokka with the returned princess, the attack of Councilman Sokka as the bloodbending monster and his subsequent elopement with the returned princess.
The announcers described the hideousness of the beast at length and went on with their endless commentaries about a demonized Sokka. Some of the Loyalists who spoke as guests insisted that these were just ridiculous stories created by Sokka's adversaries, for there was "no absolute way" that he could bend, let alone bloodbend. Other Loyalists theorized that he was possessed, and such theories only received backlash and skepticism, for Sokka was "never truly spiritual" and his only spiritual inclination was his inability to forget the Moon Spirit in her human form, so the "wiser" folk argued that his consciousness had somehow melded with La, the Great Wolf, out of the shared dire need for Yue-Tui. While a few others blamed black magic, an overwhelming majority stressed the councilman's heartbreak and apparent "lunacy." Sickened and highly tested in her patience, Yue eventually turned the radio off.
Do you really think he's a helpless baby penguin-duck for you to get him back to his family? questioned the voice in her head. Just relax and think. He must have thought it all through. He's an independent individual who's fully capable of doing so. Why still try to convince him otherwise? Why not just accept that he's related to La and that you're related to Tui? Why not admit you're meant for each other and leave with him?
It can't be, she shook her head, fraught with fear. The complications such rhetoric would have on the tribe, more so his career and sense of belonging...she couldn't imagine it.
But if it really was true...then it wasn't something she'd be able to escape.
You might think you're building a secure fortress around yourself, but really, you're constructing your own grave.
A part of her admitted that she would rather be dead to more pain and suffering than be alive and get beaten again and again by the whips of possible abandonment.
Possible abandonment? You really think he will abandon you? If he was the type to abandon you, he would've let you go a long time ago.
"...don't deserve...they don't…" Sokka shivered. "...don't understand... compassion…Yue…"
Yue stiffened but kept shoving her thoughts to the back of her mind. She took a warmer blanket and covered him with it. She kissed his forehead, managing to soothe his restlessness a little.
Foolish woman. What was your vow? That you would always trust him, yes? You trust him with your life; why not your heart? He wants to care for you. Let him do it. Why are you still hiding in your shell? You know he's not like any of the people who hurt you in the past.
That's why I don't want to take anything away from him.
In the name of the Spirits, stop thinking of yourself any less. Stop thinking you're a means to an end. You are his destination.
Well that's just wonderful.
Is it still not obvious for you? You think it's nothing more than a sappy statement, but you know you're wrong. You've dedicated your whole life to duties, for the purpose of others' safety and wholeness. You thought of yourself as unlucky, undeserving of unconditional love. You thought you were only a passing cloud in his life that he needed to move on from, but when was the last time you ever truly lived? When was the last time anyone thought of you? Were you ever truly loved for who you are? For everything you've done, what did you get in return?
I shouldn't expect anything in return.
Think about the rumors and comments over the years. The so-called conspiracy theories. They said you were good for nothing until the day you gave your life back. They said death was your purpose, the sole reason for your existence. And even after you did what you had to do, they looked for ways to ruin your image.
Yue closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. I have no image of my own for them to ruin anything. My image had been destroyed a long time ago.
Do you know how impossible you are?
I'm not wrong. After what happened at the capital, after being driven out, I can't expect to have anything left. I can call nothing my own now. Even the life I'm living is not in my hands. I can't make a selfish decision as much as I might be tempted to. And as for what anyone else has to say about me...they're all just words.
Keep telling yourself that, but you and I both know that you're starting to regain some things and that you don't deserve to give up those things. You can't afford to keep taking in negative energy. Words can hurt. A lot. Even if you know they aren't true.
I'm not hurt by anything—
Then why did you turn off that radio? Turn that radio back on right now and hear for yourself all the "just words" they're parading down the streets. And then admit you're not hurt even a little bit.
No matter how hard she tried to dodge her conscience, she couldn't as the commentaries kept coming in various methods, even in print. She ended up finding by their doorstep a collection of news pamphlets, likely delivered to them two days before but neglected since Sokka was busy looking after her. She was caught off guard to see the current morning pamphlet titled My Ghost Princess, a "special edition" booklet of enthusiastic "research" and collections of rumors and theories regarding Yue, complete with artistic depictions. The cover page was such an artistic rendering of Yue; the right side of her body resembled Yin in serenity, the whiteness of her long hair and robes, the smile on her face, the way her palm was facing outward in a gesture of giving. The other half of her body was dark in the sense of darkened skin, black robes and sharp jet-black hair, resembling the abrasiveness of Yang in the way her eyebrow lurched upward in a glare, the way her left fist emanated black mist, often the most common tribal depiction of black magic. And lying beneath those black fumes is a figure of a warrior in a wolf-tail, passed out from their toxicity.
Her heart stopped.
Yue of the Northern Water Tribe would forever remain a tragic figure in history. An unlikely but timely martyr of the Hundred Year War, her association with the Moon Spirit reiterated her status as a saint, mystic, and goddess— the Incarnation of Tui, who took a human birth to save the world during a deadly crisis in the well-known Siege of the North Pole. For over two decades, she has been lodged in the hearts of many tribespeople as a benevolent healing deity, the patron mother of the Water Tribe, a symbol of utmost compassion, martyrdom, and sacrifice. She has remained immortal, however, in the memories of her lover: Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe. Her tragic romance with the warrior has driven the masses to pity and sorrow and inspired many ballads, canonizing the tropes of love and loss in princess-warrior couples throughout playwriting history across the nations.
With the recent events, however, following the rumors of her supposed "return" and "elopement" with her lover, the tribespeople, who have sympathized with Princess Yue's failed romance, now find themselves asking if her association with her lover is meant to be rekindled. After all, she is a goddess: Tui, who is the eternal consort of La. Could such a goddess retain her passion for a human male? Or is she a goddess at all? Could it be that the flaws of this mysterious princess have been covered up? Overruled by her sacrifice? What exactly is dark side of our moon maiden? Is she truly the virgin goddess that she is depicted as in tribal folklore and history? Indeed, we can see that her ghost continued to haunt Sokka for the remainder of his life thus far and has turned him into a prey of black magic. Are these reflective of the "martyr's" selfishness? Historians and biographers of the late Princess Yue have now begun to see her in a more humanistic light and have embarked on a quest to reinterpret the details of her life. This special edition dives into the mind of Princess Yue and revisits the high points of her life: her involvement in her mother's battle with illness and early death, her dwindled relationship with Chief Arnook, her engagement with esteemed warrior, Hahn, her simultaneous affair with the warrior from the South, and her subsequent demise.
As the first few paragraphs of the entire essay-pamphlet, these were definitely attractive to the common reader. Yet, they did a fantastic job of crushing her to pieces. Throughout the rest of the pamphlet, numerous perspectives— all of them being ruthlessly negative— had been presented by the so-called "historians and authors" as they matched the hideous illustrations with each scenario and misinterpreted major events of her life. Her life, her entire life made into a sick joke. Her wants were warped into selfish desires and posed as instances of depravity. She herself was turned into an isolated, depressed young woman who supposedly "coped through sexual encounters" and found a "satisfying partner" in the Southern prince. The interpreters consistently set her up to be nothing short of a whore, her "whorehood induced by psychological trauma of isolation and lack of attention," which ultimately "gave rise to suicidal tendencies that played out coincidentally during the Siege."
It was a series of theories based on what-ifs. "What if Yue was cast out of the Spirit World due to her remaining love or lust or some other form of attachment for Sokka?" read a caption, accompanied a drawing of her spirit form reaching from the sky down towards a desperate Sokka. What if, according to what she told Minnuk about her humanity, her duty as the Moon Spirit had a specific time limit, and when her time was over, she was sent back to live life as she wished? Or what if the returned princess was actually a ghost? If the councilman ran away with her, he had to be currently living with her ghost form, which wasn't too far from impossible if they shared a kiss after she became a spirit. And if that really was the case, how would a physical relationship be possible? Unless if she turned him into a ghost or became an actual human herself or maybe landed halfway in her efforts as a zombie of all creatures. Following these kinds of theories was an illustration of Yue glancing down at her feeble wolf-tailed lover who stood before her with his arms stretched out towards her, tears raiding his face and forming puddles beneath him. The caricature of Yue in this picture was nowhere near her bright, spirit-like self but was a monstrous depiction of the literal surface of the moon in human form; a gray palette, hideous craters embedded in every inch of her body, skin "blowing away" little by little since she was only made of dust.
Her fingers shook as her body tried to cope with the waves of panic that crashed over her. With every page she flipped, she ran into foul portrayals of her from the "back from the dead" theories. All mixing well with everything they've said about her over the years.
"Oh, she 'sacrificed' herself...NOT. She might have died for real but they're framing it as sacrifice."
"Oh, maybe she actually survived and chose a way out so she could live a free life. Who knows, maybe she ran away from the North. She couldn't really have died no matter the ample evidence saying she disappeared."
"Arnook's grief was all a joke. She 'sacrificed' herself because of her prestige. She sacrificed herself because someone found out about her affair with that Southern boy—"
"There's no way to prove that she's truly pure. She must have given up her virginity to that Southern boy. She had to have been cheating on Hahn multiple times. She probably didn't want anyone to find out that she was bearing that Southerner's child and preferred death so she won't be remembered as a soiled woman; she had to have been pregnant out of wedlock for her to sacrifice herself oh so conveniently right before her marriage."
The pamphlet editors quite shamelessly expressed those controversial theories surrounding her sacrifice. It was the same savagery, the same deconstruction of her legacy, the same dismantling of her hopes for a normal, loving life. All of them piling up in her, digging up the painful memories she'd managed to bury with great difficulty over the past three weeks in her time with Sokka.
Tell me a million things, her grip tightened on the pamphlet, black tears repeatedly gone unnoticed or mistaken for bleeding ink on the parchment, but I won't be seduced by the notion of limitless freedom.
Freedom seduces you no matter how much you try to get away from it. It even molded itself into the shape of a man. He's right next to you, suffering from not being able to reach you.
"Don't go…" Sokka mumbled, interrupting her thoughts. She turned her attention to him as he wrapped his arms around her middle, his head settling into her lap. "Everything... you want, I'll...everything…"
"Everything?"
La smiled and leaned forward to place a kiss on Tui's tantalizing lips, his arms folding around her to pick her up. "Everything," he breathed, content from feeling her hands wrap around his neck. He felt his chest become warm, then warmer, even more to the point where his entire body was filled with a sense of warmth and mellowness. He knew it was a work of his inner Tui as it spread through his veins and collided into his bloodstream. She made her mark on him very firmly this time and transformed him physically as well; within seconds, his dark skin lightened significantly to where it matched hers with exact precision. The blue-black of his eyes became lighter, too, and his wolf tail, currently dismantling from the fierce wind, became the color of pure snow made brighter by the dance of glittering moonlight. He was embraced by Tui. He was bathed in Tui. He became Tui. No, he was Tui. Deep within, he was bursting with the need to be with her, the need to offer himself to her with his inner Tui having taken the persona of his inner La, and the more he sank into her kiss, the more he melted, overflowing like boiling milk.
His counterpart, too, underwent a kind of transformation, completely drenched in his color as her legs, now blackened, wrapped around his torso. Her inner La overflowed, spreading through her body as boldness shot through her and darkened her eyes. She took on the characteristics of her fierce lover and nipped his lower lip, drawing a moan from him. Her fingers tug into his back, craving his ethereal skin.
"I'll give you everything in all the worlds," he promised, battling her tongue with his to take back his darkness, to breathe her light into her lips. "Everything you want."
"Ah, that should be easy," she tugged at his robes, transitioning into her brilliance as he acquired his darkness again. "I just want you."
His grin was priceless. "Want me to what?"
"Touch me."
"Touch you where?"
"Wherever you want, you tease." Her fingers effortlessly slipped his cloak off of him while he set her down and quite sloppily tore off the rest of his robes in a fit of enthusiasm and sheer delight. Panting, he stared at her, expecting her to present herself; she only raised her eyebrows at him, her hands resting on her hips as she viewed his naked form up and down, biting her lip. "Since when did a proper lady ever disrobe herself?"
"Oh, don't you worry about that," he smirked and reached for her sash. He took great care to not rip her robes with his desperation. Countless times, they had made love and orchestrated the cosmos, and he still struggled with her sarashis. She laughed and reached around her back, guiding his fingers through the knot that held the fabric as a barrier between them. Beads of sweat were born from the stir in his loins as he closed the space between their bodies, gently leaning her against the wall of their lair. He undulated his hips against her moist heat, coaxing a sweet moan out of her.
"Yes…" he leaned forward to kiss her again, but he stopped when he caught a look at himself in her dark pupils. Swirling within them was his reflection: a repulsive monster, the hands that reached for her containing claws sharp enough to break through such beautiful skin if not handled with care. La withdrew immediately, staring at his morphed paws. He stepped away from the embodiment of beauty, the fire in his body turning into shameful steam that invaded his eyes. He didn't need to say anything; she could read it in him. That painful, I can't. I don't want to hurt you. No matter how many times they'd been through this, his fear always bounced back, making him plunge into the illusion that he would cause her any harm.
"Everything you enjoy should be worthy of you. It should not hurt you in any way," he choked out, loathing his reflection that now appeared in the water beside them. He needed to mutilate the fearsome parts of him before he could present himself to her and be sure that he would give her pleasure, nothing but pure pleasure. "Let me make myself worthy."
Exactly how long was this new stretch of land? Aang and Katara were not sure, but they continued journeying through it, through Selamiut and its festive atmosphere. The little village thus far seemed to be the most lively throughout the Water Tribe and was currently preparing for the Aurora Moon color rituals. The couple exchanged a look of nostalgia.
The Avatar and his wife stepped into their temporary place of stay in the North, colors trickling from their drenched forms and leaving a rainbow trail behind them. In spite of their sixth month of marriage, they giggled like children, refraining from bending each other dry and further smearing the color over each other's faces. They were just making their way home from the Aurora Moon festival, which was a crucial part of the rituals leading up to the solstice moonrise. Tui is worshipped as the Lady of the Lights during this time to pacify La, particularly when the ocean is rough, signalling the dark spirit's aggravation with the community. The tribesfolk would try to delight him with colors, which symbolizes how Tui reflects and pushes out colors to seduce La and how La pulls at them and absorbs them to embrace her. To mark the end of sacred week and to celebrate the union of Tui and La, tribesfolk throw colors around, drenching one another, feasting on snacks, and having fun. While families and children celebrate the color-throwing during the day, couples come together and smear color on each other at night to welcome the solstice moon. In this aspect, it was also a fertility festival; the spirits of Tui and La within couples are believed to join in harmony during this time and bless them with love, unity, and abundance. It was during such a night that Aang and Katara lost themselves to the bliss of fun.
Their excitement dwindled significantly, however, as they saw Sokka sprawled out on a cot in a nearby room, bottles of spirits sitting near him. It was heartbreaking to see him this way, pining for Yue when it was impossible for her to set aside her eternal duty and return to him. Reminded of their contrasting joy, they attempted to bend the colors off of themselves, but Sokka had already spotted them. He blinked as if he wasn't affected at all and went about drinking, inwardly imagining how it would've been if Yue was here and drenched in color with him.
"You shouldn't be drinking today," Katara said to her brother. "It's believed that Yue only visits the pure and pious."
"Lies," the warrior mumbled. "Yue visits the sick and helpless. I need to give her a reason to visit me tonight."
Aang shook the memory away, telling himself to focus. He thought that since the place was isolated, it may or may not know to the fullest extent all that was happening so far, but the presence of radios confirmed otherwise. And yet, this place was also the least chaotic for some reason, and the airbender couldn't help wondering if this meant something. How were the people going about their lives when the rest of the North was restless over the potential return and elopement of its princess-goddess? How were their goddess rituals not interrupted somehow or another when the status of their goddess was questioned in nearly every part of the Arctic that knew about the speculations?
"I have a feeling that Yue might be present somewhere near here," Aang said to his wife. "I don't know if it's just me, but this place seems a lot less chaotic than the mainland. And the weird thing is that it's not even supposed to be here. It should be in the other direction over an hour away, not a twenty minute walk from the shore."
"You're right," Katara looked around. "Things seem unusually calm here compared to the capital, and the moon is considered a calming agent in the Water Tribe. Maybe...maybe the presence of the moon in human form could be somehow working its effects on the environment!"
"And where Yue is, Sokka's definitely there!" Aang exclaimed. "All we need to do is ask around."
They walked around for a bit and then hopped atop Appa as the bison waded through the river that twisted through the village. They tried to find someone who didn't appear to be too carried away with the celebrations for the Aurora Moon rituals. Eventually they saw a tribesman looking at a large sculpture of Tui and La with his back to them. The carving consisted of a black wolf crouching down, a white spot on his forehead, and sitting on his back was a little girl sculpted in white, her hair long and reaching down to her ankles, a black spot on her forehead. Aang rushed over to the man.
"Excuse me, sir, but we're looking for...Bato?"
"Aang?"
"Bato!" Katara ran over to the older tribesman upon recognizing him. "You're doing much better than when we last saw you!"
"When did you come to the North?" Aang asked.
But Bato only looked mystified. "The North? I'm not in the North. You're in the South!"
Occasionally, Sokka thought he heard other voices. At one point, he even thought he heard Katara or Aang, maybe even Aippaq or perhaps Nayeli. And when he shot his eyes open to prove the absurdity of it all, he would panic when Yue was not there. The voices would continue, and he would grab hold of his head as if doing so could stop his swirling mind.
But she came back. Always. He would grasp onto her hand and the sensation of her chi, either not caring to or not being able to sense any foreign chis. And although he remained confused, he knew that all was right in the world when she was with him.
It wasn't until much later, however, that his disoriented state began to wear off of him. The most of what he could pick apart from his stream of consciousness were dull recollections of his past nightmares, all somehow bleeding together to form an incoherent sequence. His joints ached, his body felt battered as he was hit hard with the juxtaposition of walking and lying down simultaneously. The cruel stretch of his muscles made him feel as if someone was ripping off his skin as gusts of wind whipped at his hardened skin. He felt lost to his own body as if he was able to see everything without opening his eyes, as if he was walking across worlds when he was still tucked in, as if he was everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
Save for Yue's chi pattern, which prevented a lurking episode of separation anxiety, everything was a blur, even the place he was now standing in. He could not feel his feet as they began to wad through what appeared to be clouds of mist that swirled atop a body of water in his distant, visionless vision. To his left, he saw mountains, and to his right, miles upon miles of snow. Directly in front of him, snow eventually melded its way into a series of tree roots, which shrugged off all snow and wound their way to distant swampland.
The Ocean Spirit began to rise from the water, his body gradually floating into the air, and as he looked down, he saw that behind the mountains to his left was a watchtower that was so strikingly similar, if not the exact same as his watchtower that he'd renovated down South. The bright white gleam of the sun danced atop the tower as opposed to the luminous glow of the almost-full moon to his right, and the sky that resembled a mixture of sunrise and sunset loomed over him. The swampland in front of him led the way to the Foggy Swamp that they'd visited so long ago and more recently in his additional expeditions throughout the Water Tribe world, and the body of water that he was now hovering over traced its way to the docks of Republic City several miles away, confirming its status as Yue Bay rather than the boisterous Jumri'aq that flowed next to their ice house in Selamiut's snow forest.
The merging of lands. This was a dream, and he knew it. But dreams couldn't just be left as dreams, especially for him since he was a god. What did this mean...?
"LA!"
That voice. It did not belong to Yue but was still familiar to him. Heat engulfed him all at once in the misty world he was in. The clouds began to encircle him as the voice went on, this time slipping into desperate cries. A woman crying out to the Spirit of Life, likely bemoaning the loss of a loved one.
"Save my baby, La!"
The white in La's chest churned with compassion, a need to answer whoever it was crying for his mercy, but he had a terrible feeling about this. His fingers clenched at the sides of his black robes as the mist dispersed. Down beneath him, everything vanished. The tundra, the mountains, Yue Bay, the Foggy Swamp. Instead, there was a pond, small and shallow, situated in the middle of a way too familiar oasis that he was now hovering over, and the weeping woman was sitting in the pond with her head hung low, her dark hair let down over her face, covering whatever she was holding in her lap. The Ocean Spirit swallowed in fearful urgency as the woman lifted her head. And she looked at him as if begging for justice, holding up what she held in her shaking arms.
Ahnah. In her hands, a baby girl. Hair darkened, eyes closed, robbed of life.
"AAH!" A harsh ringing blasted through his ears as he finally came to, body jolting from the shock as he heaved for breath. Sweat ran down his face, soaking his skin. It seemed as if various voices continued to nag him in the back of his head; he tried to block it out by burying himself further into the pelts, but they were all torn once they made contact with his claws.
Claws. His jaw clenched as it finally hit. She had seen him. She had seen him in his beastly form.
He sat up at the speed of light, realizing he was on the floor upon blankets, and he ended up accidentally puncturing those, too, as he tossed them aside. He remembered how he got to this state; having been so anguished by his appearance, knowing his sharp fangs and claws were essentially weapons and that his wild appearance would steal sanities instead of hearts, breaking down and flailing helplessly, trying to break away from her grasp and hide in the bathroom. He was unable to voice his thoughts and warnings accurately since his condition had curbed his ability to speak like a human, and it wasn't until her healing glow made contact with his forehead that he lost his anxiety to sleep.
But fifteen or so hours of sleep still left the claws on his hands and feet intact. Though his fangs had shrunk and the number of his teeth was the normal thirty two again, his incisors remained sharp as knives. He was also bigger in size, his chest broader, legs taller, arms seemingly more muscular.
But...why? Why was it taking so long for him to shift back into his human form this time? And adding onto that was the embarrassment of being stark naked had it not been for her cloak, which was wrapped around his waist to conceal his private area. He fumbled to cover himself more and looked around. The relative neatness of the room didn't hide the fact that there had been a huge mess, as evidenced by their broken bed in the corner. The side table was also in pieces and was stowed away, and nearby lay his clothes, including his loincloth, all of them tattered from the impact of his metamorphosis. Some of the other furniture in the room was missing, and he didn't have to be told he destroyed them or something in his daze. The ice mirror ahead must have had cracks in it, but he turned away before he could truly notice; he expressed considerable terror in looking at his reflection, not wanting to see how he looked, how he must have looked to her, how he kept insisting her to be next to him despite how utterly horrible he must have appeared.
His lower lip quivered in shame. He had been so considerate of his emotions lately, more so with their time together being so peaceful and loving. He had been so careful all this time, not wanting to ruin his attractive image with the onset of his lupine form considering the difficulty he was already having with getting her to open up to him, considering how repulsive he probably already was with his emotional rampages, near-insane actions and constant breakdowns. Now that he was exposed like this, how could he even look at her? And if he didn't specifically remember causing so much damage in his tantrum, how could he remember if he hurt her or not? The thought frightened him, made him tremble from the juxtaposing needs of pulling her up against him and staying away to avoid harm.
"He's not going to agree to this, will he?"
The voice he thought to be a figment of his dream came back, now more real than ever. Katara.
"We have no other option at this point, do we?" Aang.
As if the situation wasn't squeezing the life out of Sokka already. The Ocean Spirit nearly toppled over the door, vision swirling, blood pounding through his ears. He could vividly feel Katara's chi along with her unborn baby's. Aang was right next to her, accompanied by his sleeping children who were being supervised by Aippaq. And to his greatest fury, Bato.
"He has a responsibility, Aang," Bato said. "And Sokka's never the one to back out on taking responsibility of his people. North or South, he does not see the difference."
He has no fucking right to be here! How did he even...?!
And Yue…what did that bastard say to her? What are these people telling her? Sokka sensed her chi to now be further away from all of them, and next to her flared the chis of Appa, Nayeli, Gyatso, and three foreign chis, two belonging to nuns and one belonging to Air Acolyte Hei-Won.
The ocean glowered and tried to tap into the thoughts of everyone he could sense (except the naturally impenetrable thoughts of his wife), but he couldn't read them too deeply. What he did pick up on was the fact that his recent dream vision regarding the merging of lands was, in fact, telling him of its existence in reality. A phenomenon that occurred over twelve hours ago with the merging of the white marble and the frantic ocean.
"This is beyond words!" Aang exclaimed as he, Katara, and Bato, after pouring out their shock and excitement and hysteria and denial, finally scoured over the new land on top of Appa to confirm their theories. The higher up they flew, the more the island looked quite small, unable to link so many lands together and still logically be within its tiny parameters, but as they flew closer down, they could see the vastness of the place, the way four different, Water Tribe-oriented parts of the globe were linked together in this little world despite supposedly retaining their original distances outside of the island.
"There was a strange fog that came out of nowhere, and it kept lingering over the South's ports," Bato shuddered. "It lasted for several hours, and when it cleared away, we saw this island that came out of nowhere in the middle of the ocean, and right at the entrance of the island was a spirit gate. I told the others that I would investigate, and then I ran into this village a few miles in. I found it really strange that it was named Selamiut; I could've sworn that Selamiut was the name of a village in the Northern outskirts, but I thought maybe this was a different Selamiut that I wasn't aware of. You know how places tend to have the same names but they're in different nations?"
"It's really convenient how you put it because we for sure had the same experience with the fog and the sudden appearance of an island and a gate," Aang said. "Katara and I came to investigate the village area while Zuko and Toph split up to investigate the eastern and western divisions." He pointed downward to the eastern and western portions of the island from the aerial view, and thought he could make out the figures of Zuko walking dumbfounded beneath a similar spirit gate that stood before Republic City and Toph wandering through the swamp, approaching a spirit gate with a confused expression on her face.
"There are four different gates, and each one is situated near these four areas. So this has to be a portal or something. In whichever one of these areas that you're in throughout the globe, if you go under a spirit gate, you'll automatically be transported to this island," Katara said.
"The Spirit Oasis acted as a portal to the Spirit World, but now that it's gone for good, this island popped up. And it's different in the fact it's a portal to different areas in the physical world that have high concentrations of tribesmen," Aang noted.
"The North and the South are now one...and they're also one with the Foggy Swamp Tribe and Republic City…" Bato brought a hand to his head. "I can't believe this is even happening… This is literally a physical demonstration of annexation of all Water-Tribe areas!"
"There seems to be an unusually high presence of Spirits in the physical world for these radical changes to be happening," the Avatar said. "Otherwise, there wouldn't be effects like an entire race being revived and different corners of the globe being united."
"It also solves the problem of finding a way for a common tribal chief to go back and forth between the tribes," Katara added. "It's the perfect center for a unified Water Tribe. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, this is insane! Do you even know what this means for us?! A united Water Tribe with Yue Bay to the east, the Foggy Swamp to the west, the North up north and the South down south! Just thinking about it can make someone dizzy."
As if his personal transformation wasn't enough for him to stress over, Sokka was not sure what to think of this "transformation of land." As far as their existence outside of the island portal, these places were still separate, but their spirit gates brought them so much closer to each other. His brain hurt too much for him to think of all the socio-political ramifications this would bring, but he was sure of one thing: it stressed the need for a common leader like never before. After all, the Water Tribe was now physically one and simultaneously apart. Now it made sense whenever he perceived their urgency for seeing him. Of course, there was also anticipation and nervousness considering the incarnata episode. Aang and Katara had been looking to find him and Yue to begin with. Aippaq came as a Loyalist representative along with Bato, who was seeking answers for the "new" Water Tribe land. Nayeli insisted on tagging along to confirm if Sokka truly was Arnook's masked assailant all those years ago.
She must have told her that I'm Arnook's attacker, he swallowed, feeling everything crash down at once. Of course, he had more questions. Did Yue believe everything Nayeli said? How was Yue going to react to him now that every alias of his was exposed? Did the moon finally accept herself? And how the heck did Aang and Katara find their location in Selamiut when Sokka and Yue been careful not to give away any clues?
What's going on? Why can't I…? Why can't I fully read them? What is it now?
Hold your horse carts. Your abilities are a little messy and random. You're still recovering from your cleansing. It'll take a minute to get all the fine details.
Fuck it.
He didn't bother being discrete anymore. He did fear Yue's reactions to the transformed land and to seeing him, but he wasn't going to take any chances. Even if it meant confining himself in the corner of a room all day to prevent causing harm, he was not leaving her alone with any of these people, especially Bato and those "detachment worshippers" in saffron robes and that pitiful excuse of a loyal cousin. He took a deep breath and fingered his Yin necklace. Incredible warmth stirred in his sternum. The tender heat spread through his body, calming him to where his claws finally shrank and his body molded itself somewhat into his normal physique. He threw on some pants, wrapped her cloak around his chest, and checked his reflection a million times before stepping out. The voices in the hall paused abruptly from his footsteps, and the sight of him made the visitors freeze in their places. He could read the existing shock on their faces, a result of Yue's return, and he could see their thoughts grow muddled with more shock as they observed him. Katara, Aang, Bato, and Aippaq stood up, sporting immense relief.
"Sokka!"
"You're okay!"
"Thank goodness you're alright, sir!"
Not a pause, not a word, not a passing glance from the Ocean Spirit as he followed Yue's chi pattern to the front porch like he didn't see them at all. Bato raced over to him, clasping him by the shoulders. "Sokka, son, how have you been?"
But he strongly curbed his instincts to lash out. He shrugged himself free and stepped out, his grip on his Yin necklace firm.
"Sokka, wait!"
"Your Highness!"
Sure enough, he saw Yue outside as she listened to something that Gyatso was telling her, and beside her were Hei-Won and the nuns along with Nayeli, who clung to Yue's hand, but Sokka was completely thrown off by the ancient-looking orange Air Nomad robes—nun robes, specifically, and most certainly not the trainee-nun kind— accompanied by a traditional wooden necklace (complete with disks marked with air symbols, yellow beads, purple tassles symbolizing mystical peaks) and the chaotic look that his wife was wearing. Her robes and pendants were precisely the ones that belonged to her in her previous manifestation as Ama.
His world stopped.
"Great One, our revived generation looks to you for guidance and wisdom," Hei-Won spoke to her.
Guidance and wisdom? By that point, many fears already lodged themselves in Sokka's mind given the haze of panic that dimmed his mind-reading further. His Vayu form was tempted to crawl to the forefront. His hands shook, and Aang attempted to calm him down by holding onto him, but the spirit jerked them repeatedly out of the airbender's grasp. He was nothing but a fast, pounding heartbeat, filled with the fear of separation. So much fear.
Appa, who was chilling behind Yue and nuzzling into her touch, raised his head in Sokka's direction and roared in recognition. Nayeli swallowed with great difficulty, taking a step back and eyeing him. Yes, he's the one. He hasn't changed at all. Yue, who was hiding in her turtle shell throughout the entire conversation, then caught sight of her husband, who stared at her with dilated pupils, paling significantly by the second.
"Sokka?" The chaos in her eyes heightened. "When did you wake up?"
He wheezed, trapping incoherent noises in his throat. Shame and self-consciousness filled his sweating body. He panicked even more when he couldn't clearly see her in his blurred vision, but he could feel one thing clearly: infinite fury when Nayeli grasped one of the Moon Spirit's hands with the intention of pulling her a step away from him out of her protective instincts as if he was the one that Yue should fear, and he wanted to scream at the older woman to get away from Yue, get away from the two of them and let them live in peace.
"Sokka, are you alright? Sokka? Sokka!"
The monks and nuns were chanting with great fervor, knowing the maiden before them was not ordinary in the least. They did not know where she had come from, but she was theirs. Airbending prodigy, master of levitation, possessor of all the cosmic energy in the universe that was trapped in the amethyst hue of her eyes... she was promised to the path of what the monks believed to be true enlightenment. And in the far side of the room was her peer and only student. He who was believed to have been a mix-up among airbending children and thrust into the laity at a young age. He who was now standing as one among many accomplished benders after letting out his grief in his first ever airbending move, now witnessing the day she will leave behind all worldly concerns.
He drew her towards him. The air that made constant love with the walls of her lungs, danced with every inch of her humanness, knowing and believing that she wouldn't go through the whole ceremony, wouldn't truly abandon him. She wouldn't tease eternal companionship and leave him in the middle like this. But the fear was there nevertheless; Yang was an anxious soul…
...though he shouldn't be since he already wooed her over. She kept her gaze on him rather than the scrolls the nuns were handing her. The soon-to-be "Detached One" was not supposed to show emotion, but her face was dominated by this blissful agony called love.
It was blasphemy. Apostasy. It was the most pain either of them had ever felt.
"He's waking up."
"Everyone stay calm."
Sokka stirred, feeling water droplets splash him in the face. He found that he was on the snow, having tripped down the porch stairs, but his head was cushioned by Yue's lap. A soft hand smoothed his hair out of the way as he looked up at her.
"It's alright, you're alright," she whispered. "Everything's okay." She held a cup of water to his lips, but he barely drank from it, stiffening with every second he spent on staring at her robes.
It's all over...she wants nothing to do with me...
Calm down. She wouldn't do that—
No, she wouldn't, but people make her. What exactly is it now, huh?! I won't survive if she doesn't become a nun?! These sick, idiotic...! This is all my fault! He'd never blamed himself so intensely, never feared being the object of her repulsion as much as he did the night she returned to the physical world for good. But she hadn't been angry with him, didn't hate him then. It would be illogical to think she would be like that now or in any situation, being the compassionate entity she was.
But what would give her the need to wear nun robes all of a sudden? Unless if she accepted her identity at least as Ama. If so, she would recognize him as Vayu, wouldn't she? She wouldn't go down the detachment road again, would she, even if she was surrounded by these wind-manipulating detachment worshippers? But judging by the shaky look in her eyes in the midst of all of these people and their pointless reverence even after enough damage had been done, she must not be aware of her identity still. Either that or she was highly confused, which seemed to be the truth.
I still should've controlled myself or stayed hidden. What if she really doesn't want to do with me—?!
It's not like that!
Then what else?! Why else would she be wearing these horrible, despicable—?!
Stop! Fuck, you don't know what could've happened!
"Do you still feel dizzy?" Katara asked her brother. Sokka didn't respond. Though dazed from the screams in his head, he sat up to prove that he was "alright." He caught Nayeli looking skeptically at him; that woman's train of thought was like a pendulum, swinging to one side and thinking of Sokka to be La and then swinging to the completely opposite end, unconvinced by the warrior's restless demeanor and utter humaneness. Judging by the way the others had talked about him on their way here, she mistook his overprotectiveness for misogyny layered with the excuse of "protecting," which she did not approve especially in the case of her goddess.
"He's had a cold recently," Yue lied. "He's recovering, but it could be that he's dehydrated. I think he needs a healing session just to be safe." And she slowly ushered him up to his feet.
"I'll help," Aippaq reached out, but Sokka swatted his hand away. Aang attempted to help but earned a similar reaction from his brother-in-law.
These people. Seriously. What if they made her feel guilty? Sokka bit his lip, nearly tasting metal as the sight of her robes bore into his brain. 'Cause the world is really good at that, isn't it? Katara must have said something. Maybe Aang or someone else. Bato, damn him, damn that old fuck—
STOP scaring the shit out of yourself! It won't be like that. It can't be, I won't fucking allow it!
Sensing his tension, Yue wrapped Sokka's arm around her shoulder. Monk Gyatso stepped up to help Sokka from the other end. "Allow me to help you as well, young chief," the man said calmly. "I am your friend."
Sokka felt that the man held a kind of warmth to him that amounted to nothing in comparison to Yue's compassion, but the warrior was not a stranger to how kindly the older man looked to Yue, almost as if she had been the young pupil the monk raised at the Southern Air Temple instead of Aang. Yue, too, appeared comfortable around Gyatso as if she had known him for a long time and saw a father figure in him, so Sokka let him be.
They quickly led him back to the room. The moon noticed that the pelts were torn, covered in claw markings. Sokka flinched, but she didn't hesitate to switch them out with the newer pelts stored in the cupboards, doing so in a very subtle way so that Gyatso wouln't notice. She and the older monk helped him to his seat.
"I will leave you to your healing, my friend," Gyatso smiled, giving him and Yue an affectionate look before he made his way out, leaving the lovers to themselves. And Sokka concluded in that moment that Gyatso was not a threat. He may belong to a group that preached detachment, but he had looked to Aang as a father would a son and also appeared to be highly approving of Katara and the family that she and Aang had started; how could he himself preach detachment and demand Yue to embrace an ascetic life?
"I met Monk Gyatso in the Spirit World," Yue mentioned. "He's a very kind man. Very considerate of living beings. He's like a guru I've always wanted."
Sokka nodded understandingly. He wondered if, along with being a good teacher, Gyatso could've been a wonderful father figure to her; given his respect for all life, the man would have no doubt protected Yue from Arnook's wrath and made her feel loved. Maybe then, Yue wouldn't be struggling the way she was now to express herself, even in making a tiny statement such as this.
"Can you speak?"
Sokka snapped away from his thoughts and looked at his wife. "Hm?"
"You haven't said a word so far," she said quietly. "You were talking in your sleep, but the last time you got this angry, you shifted and...and you couldn't speak. That's why I asked."
"Oh…" In spite of her gentleness and genuine concern, shame came running back, slapping him across the face. "I was...I was talking in my sleep?"
"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," she said, and though her voice sounded light-hearted and comforting, she looked as if she was broken inside, and that's what made Sokka's stomach drop. "You're okay, right?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well...you seem..." Before he could finish his question, Bato suddenly stepped in, raising the ocean's quelling fury and protectiveness. He wasn't there when Bato raised his hand at Yue, but now, the incarnation of wrath wasn't going to let anything like that happen again. Nayeli stood by the door, keeping her eyes on Yue while the moon touched Sokka's shoulder, trying to keep him from exploding.
"Sokka, are you doing alright?" Bato began, but Sokka ignored him. The play of fate made it seem as if all of a sudden, every single imbecile in the world had changed into an epitome of goodness. More frustrating was Nayeli's protective look that made her want to guard the princess from the Spirit of Justice himself. Sokka could literally see the way the older woman flinched as she watched her goddess-princess be so close to the "Spirit-forsaken lump of flesh called Sokka."
"Sokka," Bato sat next to the warrior on the pelts and noticed him flinch and clench a fist, almost as if he was holding back some kind of impulse. "Son, what's wrong—?"
"I'm not your son, alright?" Sokka retorted. "Stay out of our room."
Always gotta have it his way, huh? He's not even letting her have a say in this. This was the guy I thought was La? Nayeli's eyes narrowed at Sokka, who unknown to her was not at all a stranger to her thoughts. Bato in the meantime looked visibly hurt by Sokka's comment, but he chose not to say anything.
"Sokka, why would you say something like that? You ask about Bato all the time—"
"No, I don't. You don't have to make this better for me," the warrior said, looking away.
"He doesn't mean that," Yue told Bato helplessly. "He hasn't really been sleeping well for the past few days. I'm sure that's why he's irritable."
"I have a strong feeling that it's actually more than that, but it's alright," Bato sighed. The man held out his hand to give her an affirming pat on the shoulder, not noticing how she subtly flinched, but then he found himself being yanked away from Yue by Sokka, who stood protectively in front of his wife and glared at the older man.
"Sokka," Yue held him back. "Calm down."
"It's okay, I think he needs some space," Bato said, not understanding the reason for Sokka's behavior but still leaving with no questions asked. Nayeli, though, was reluctant to leave.
"You remember how I told you about Nayeli, don't you?" Yue said to her husband, bringing him out of his daze. "This is her. My good friend." She gestured to the woman standing near the doorway, but neither Nayeli nor Sokka were enthusiastic.
"Ah, yes, the good friend who happened to move away right in your time of need and is now dying for your company."
Nayeli fumed, switching her now guilty look to the goddess. In her best effort to limit conflict, Yue got between her angry husband and Nayeli. "I'll be there in a few minutes," she said to her friend, who gave Sokka another skeptical look before nodding and walking out.
Sokka let out a shaky breath and rubbed his head, wanting to shrink to the smallest size possible as he eyed the hidden destruction of the room. And not to mention how hard it was for him to look at his wife in those robes she was wearing. He knew what her clothing meant. He understood how those robes demanded others to keep to themselves. He was well aware that he couldn't touch her the way he wanted to; he couldn't anyway after knowing she'd seen his hideous transformation.
But Yue was no stranger to the panic written in his eyes. She rested her palm over his forehead, and he shivered from how warm and embracing her aura was, tearing at his lip as a wave of calm washed over him. He let out a deep exhale, nearly whimpering as his mind was racked with the image of Nayeli holding Yue back from him. The woman who had no moral qualms about leaving Yue behind all those years ago dared to make a move to protect her from him?
"Headache?"
He shook his head.
"How are you feeling? You don't feel uncomfortable, do you?"
"No, I'm okay," he swallowed. "Just...human, I guess."
She knew it must be uncomfortable for him to talk about this. To be fair, he is in a situation very similar to her right now: the insecurity of a warped image. For her, it was craters and dust. For him, it was claws and fur. But in no way did that make him any less, and she knew she had to convey that to him so he didn't internalize it like he did others' ridicule over the years. Her hands smoothed down to his shoulders, keeping his tenseness at bay. "Lie down for a minute; I'll have a look at you."
She spent several minutes tracing his chi path before actually moving to examine his head. He did end up feeling relaxed a little bit, but his thoughts lingered back and forth on her robes. A more sensible part of him told him he was being foolish for thinking she'd accept nunhood without even witnessing the context for himself, but his fear was persistent. He kept watching her for signs of discomfort, more than willing to back away if she felt uncomfortable. But she didn't, and her touch was loving and accepting, and he felt the urge to kiss her senselessly for that.
"Do you feel different? Are you still changing back?"
"No, I...I think I'm okay…"
"Are you sure? You look...flushed…" She trailed her palm up to his forehead and felt his temperature. "No fever or anything. Maybe if you eat something, you'll feel better."
"I'm not really hungry."
"Wolves have to eat, you know. You can't neglect that part of you."
He would've flinched at that, but her tone was careful, not condescending or fearful in the least. In all honesty, he did not understand how she was able to so easily accept who he had become without acknowledging herself as Tui, and he certainly didn't understand why she wasn't realizing who she was now that she knew about him. "What was I saying?" he said as he sat up and covered his chest with his cloak. "When I was talking in my sleep?"
"Nothing much. You were saying my name over and over." She gave him a knowing look. "You had a bad dream about me, didn't you? I'm sure that's what upset you."
He swallowed, not answering.
"What happened to me? In your dream—?"
"Nothing, okay? You were perfectly fine! You were safe and perfect!"
"I can see that."
He looked away, flustered, but it was understandable to Yue that he didn't want to revisit it. What he did want to revisit, however, was the query that was bursting through him. "Your robes," he said, using the best "casual" tone that he could muster.
"Oh, this," she said uneasily. "The Air Nomad sisters requested me to wear it. Apparently I resemble Ama a little too much for them."
And in a way, that was what made him worry. Would they compel her to take the same ascetic path that Ama did? They had to have made such a point, didn't they, if they asked her to wear these robes?
"I didn't really want to wear them because I thought it would be cultural appropriation. You know how sensitive Aang is with anything related to Air Nomad culture. But no one seemed to be offended. In fact, Aang was the one who suggested it, and everyone else insisted."
"Of course they would," he scoffed. "They don't need to care about the other person's comfort zone, do they? These aren't just robes, they're..." he paused.
"They're what?" she pressed, earning a longing look in response. "Why are you looking at me like that?" And then it hit, and her concern turned into a frown. "Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, did you seriously think I was becoming a nun?"
"What? No, not at all! I was just...I thought you…" He couldn't keep up with his bluff, though, and burst, "Oh, who am I kidding? I thought you didn't want to do anything with me after seeing what I turned into, and…" He brushed at his eyes. "And I thought they made you...somehow...I just...I don't trust any of them! All they do is preach detachment and getting away from relationships and...and that friend of yours was looking at me like I'm some sort of…"
Her eyes watered. "Like what?"
"Like I was...like I'd hurt you and...like she had to get you away from me," his voice wobbled. "As if she herself is totally perfect and free of all blame."
She knew far too well what that felt like: to be deemed a threat to the person you love by the people who are close to your lover. "There was only one person who tried to keep me from giving up my life during the Siege, and you and I both know him very well. Nayeli has no way of understanding what that moment felt like for us. She has no way of understanding what we've always had and how you'd always treated me. You shouldn't feel affected at all by what she might think. What does she know?"
What does she know?
"You tell me this all the time when people say that I'm a threat to you. You tell me not to listen to them. It doesn't make sense for you to listen to people who say you're a threat to me. And let me also tell you that this has nothing to do with what you look like during your shift because no one else has any idea of what happened last night. I kept them away from this room, and I didn't tell them anything about your metamorphosis."
"But it's still strange, don't you think? What I turn into when I get so angry and emotional…I'm always afraid I'll hurt you...and I can never live with myself if I..."
"But it makes no sense for you to have that fear. Maybe you were in a different physical state, but I don't recall you ever hurting me while you were in it. Not even once. In many ways, it's been engrained into you to not hurt me. You can't even spar with me properly sometimes because of that instinct. It's like second nature."
His insides softened at that, more so when her palms found their way back to his shoulders. Emotion came rushing in; he tried to hold it back, tried to stop the flow. He could feel his fingers shaking and his chest churning with the need to shift, but he clenched his fist to hold back the instinct.
"Don't stop yourself," she said, noticing how fidgety he was getting. "You need to shift, don't you?"
"No, no," he shook his head, tears ready to slip. "I'm fine."
"You are fine. You just want to shift. So shift. There's no one here. The door's locked. No one can hear you."
He kept shaking his head fervently, but her palms trailed up to his cheeks. "It's okay," she whispered. "Shift."
"But…"
"Sokka, I want to see you. Let me see you."
And he let the sensations flow through him. He closed his eyes and reveled in her touch as her command flowed through every pore of his being. It was extremely difficult for him to sit in close proximity to her as his claws began to develop and his grunts transitioned into extremely soft growls. He could feel his body become warmer with the rapid growth and spread of fur, and his shaking lips tasted the coldness of his forming fangs. He let his tears loose as they disappeared in the forests of his fur, and he shook beneath the touch of her hands, which did not stray away from him but only held onto him throughout his metamorphosis. Yue explored him with her eyes, highly drawn to his form like a magnet. The form that everyone else had declared to be hideous when it was actually beautiful in its own right. Many of her wolf dreams suddenly began to realign, and the image of the loyal wolf tugged at her heart.
"Wild beast!"
"Restrain it!"
"Kill it!"
No, she wasn't going to let anyone lay their hands on him. She wasn't going to let this form of his be exposed to the others any longer. But at the same time, she wasn't going to have him feel unappreciated, unloved.
"Look at me. Sokka, look at me." Look at me, La, look at me.
He complied, and he saw himself— hideous and otherworldly— reflected in her pupils. But then his spirit vision kicked in, and the goddess before him appeared to him in her child form. Her head was tilted to the side, and her eyebrows quirked as if she found his fear ridiculous. Her little hands kept their hold on his cheeks. "You think I'm scared of you?"
He couldn't help smiling even as he trembled, overcome by the intense flow of love.
"Look at me closely." She pointed to herself, her tiny index finger pointing at her chest where her black glow came to light. Whether she was referring to herself or her inner La made absolutely no difference if they were really one, all the same. "Do I look scared to you right now?"
He shook his head.
"Do you see my fascination?"
He nodded.
"Then why are you scared that I'll be scared?"
He swallowed and felt himself lighten significantly as she leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the patch of white fur on his forehead. And he let out a long, relieved breath, shifting back to normal much more easily this time. "I'm sorry. I love you." He took the child goddess into his arms and shed the last of his tears, holding her how a precious being should be held. The ache in his chest eased with every breath he took.
"That's it, deep breaths now." The babyish voice disappeared, replaced by her original tone. He opened his eyes to see that she was back to herself, her hand brushing the back of his head and smoothing up his back.
"Sokka, I don't want you to think of yourself any less in any way from now on," she said. "I've seen a lot of unique qualities in different beings in the Spirit and physical worlds for over two decades, and let me tell you that even with their differences, they were no less beautiful."
They were no less beautiful. "And you say I'm a sweet talker," he gazed at her.
"I get my inspiration from Wang Fire," she winked. "He's a charming fellow."
He laughed, the calm ebbing through him and kicking out the stress in his body. He was caught off guard, though, as she flicked his forehead in reprimand. "Hey, what was that for?"
"For thinking I'd leave you," she frowned again. "You think I'm shallow?"
"You're anything but shallow, love," he said. "And you know how paranoid I can get. I wake up disoriented and see you in these robes. What was I supposed to think?"
"It's still illogical to think I'd go off on my own and become a nun just like that. I'd need your blessing first."
"Can we not talk about this anymore?" And his grip around her tightened.
"Seriously, would it be helpful if I changed out of these robes?"
"No, it's okay...it actually looks really good on you," he blushed. "Now that nunship's out of the water. But, uh..." a surge of hopefulness shot through him as he allowed himself to ask, "So... does this mean I'm, like...La, now, or...?"
She blinked, caught off guard by the question but not entirely shocked. She didn't seem to take it too seriously, either, still holding onto the view that he was still "unnecessarily" trying to be on a spiritual plane to "match" her. "I think you should be a simple guy with simple needs. Someone who's not too bogged down by spiritual things...Well, that part might be tough since you're married to me."
"I'm serious. You're saying things you think I'd like to hear."
"Well, what do you think?" she said, amused. "Do you want to be La?"
"Uh...yes…?"
"Uh, yes?"
"Well if you're Tui… But you keep saying you're not Tui…so I don't know what..."
Yue turned away. "Honestly, I don't know anymore, Sokka, and I don't know if I want to know anymore."
"Come on, don't say that."
"Then what else? They're saying something about my statue falling into the water and forming some kind of new land that's…I don't know, it's too bizarre. They'll tell you more about it; they know more than I do. All I know is that I'm confused."
"Then I'll be confused with you."
She chuckled, willing herself to finally admit, "At most, you might have a piece of La the same way I might have a piece of Tui. Sometimes it's hard to fish it out of rational-minded individuals...which is ironic considering La is known as the Spirit of Reason." She shrugged. "I mean, it explains why your totem is the way it is. Who in the world has the wolf for a totem?"
"So I am La? To a degree?"
She didn't see his hopefulness; she only saw desperation. "There's a La in the Spirit World. What about him?"
He couldn't respond. How could he? He was worried to say anything seeing how anxious she was, and he didn't want to push her into a direction she wasn't ready for.
"You don't have to be La to be with me. I thought we already established this."
"Yeah...but what is this, then? Is it just me connecting with my totem?"
"It has to be. How long had it been since you first shifted?"
"Since that time you were in the chi trance."
"So a while now. Does it hurt when you shift?"
"Not really. It feels like my muscles tense up and stretch. And then…" he hesitated to go on. It was already a bizarre experience.
"It's okay, you can say it. It's just me."
"Well…" he looked up at her. "My teeth and nails feel itchy before they, uh...start to grow…and then I feel all warm. Inside and outside. It makes me feel really mellow sometimes, and at other times, it increases my urge to lash out. Depends on the context, I guess. And all throughout this process, my chest feels a little different. Not painful but different. Like there's some kind of pressure there, like it's pumping heat through my body."
She looked at his chest area before moving his cloak aside and touching him. "Does it feel that way right now? The pressure?"
"No, it usually goes away after I've fully shifted into a lycan, but the warm feeling is still there until I've shifted back to normal."
Her hand smoothed over his chest, and he bit his lip, feeling his inner Tui respond to her touch. Yue, too, felt strangely drawn to his chest area and felt her own sternum being raided by warmth and pressure. She ignored it, though, and her fingers found themselves tracing absentmindedly over her name that he'd engraved on his skin. "Why didn't you just tell me about it? Did you plan on telling me at all?"
"Of course I did," he winced. "I didn't have the intention to keep this from you forever. I was tempted to keep it a secret for a long time, though, since...well, a manwolf is not exactly a turn on, and I was afraid you weren't emotionally connecting with me, telling me what's bothering you and all that. I was going to somehow tell you before things between us got a little more serious...you know, like, more than just kissing...But it was hard for me to come clean about it even before that because I...I didn't know what this was. I didn't think you'd have an idea...well, I did, kind of, obviously since you know a lot more, but I—" his rambling came to a pause as her thumb slowly traced over his bottom lip. She seemed to be quite lost in thought, but it was only for a moment before another thought came to her.
"Is that why you hid yourself those two weeks I was in the chi trance?"
"I didn't hide myself. I just wanted to be with you. So I was," he said sincerely. "It wasn't exactly because of this transformation, but I'd still been really careful. I knew that me being highly emotional would cause this. I kept shifting every time I got extremely angry. Like that time when you were healing Anyu, and no one else would let me help you."
"You stormed out."
"Yeah. I had to before everyone else saw me shift. And I was so afraid of what you'd think. I thought you'd run away from me on the spot or take my...changes... the wrong way..."
"If I wasn't wearing these robes, I'd kiss you right now to prove how absolutely wrong you were."
"Then take them off," he said with fake innocence. "I'll even help you out of them."
She swatted him playfully, earning a chuckle. "Even if I knew, what would I think? I'm only surprised. I had no idea you could connect with your totem like that. It also explains why your totem is a wolf to begin with...though judging by what you're describing and how your shift's been working, you must be a lycan."
"A what now?"
"A lycan. It's a more advanced type of manwolf than a regular one."
"What's the difference?"
"Well, regular manwolves can only shift during the full moon; they often don't have control over what's happening to them. Lycans, however, can shift really easily and at any given time, whether willingly or if they're triggered somehow. They can also hold back their urges and shift back to normal whenever they will it. This is because they're extremely sensitive to the environment and can keenly sense and respond to it, which also explains why you've been feeling the particles around you whenever you happen to bend. Lycans also happen to be stronger, have a distinct kind of smell, have greater cravings for meat than a regular manwolf, usually a larger physique."
Sokka was then reminded of how he woke up to nearly nothing on his body since his shift tore the clothes he'd been wearing. He then blushed heavily, realizing that it was her, after all, who had managed to wrap something around him. "Kind of off topic, but, uh...um...did you...did you see...anything...? Like, with me, you know...since my clothes kind of...not that I'd be offended, but..."
Her cheeks warmed. "I technically had all the liberty to look at you when I was a spirit, and I still didn't. You think I would now?"
"Oh..."
"I was more worried about getting you to eat something than anything else...oh, yeah, I almost forgot." She stood up and reached for a closed vessel that she kept hidden to the side of the room. "I know you'd be craving meat. Not to mention you've been going vegetarian for me lately."
"You didn't have to. I know you're not comfortable cooking meat."
"I never told you that."
"But I can take a hint," he sighed, getting up to help her.
"We're out of everything except for the Arctic hen," she said. "I saved some seal jerky for you, though."
"How can we be out of supplies? We didn't eat much at all." He then turned to the door, hearing the frantic conversations outside. "Did they hog all the food?!"
"Shhhh!" she covered his mouth, whispering, "No, they didn't, I was the one who offered them what we had."
A sudden rapping on the door interrupted their conversation. "Yue?"
"Just a minute, Katara." The Moon Spirit opened the door to let the master waterbender step in with some tea in her hands. Sokka remained unfazed, the little bit of sweetness he held in his heart from Yue's company turning sour as their privacy was spoiled.
"Here's some mulethi root tea," Katara handed it to her brother. "There's lemon and honey in it, too. It'll help with dehydration."
"You must've forgotten the incarnata."
Katara's hopeful look dropped into frustration and then guilt. "Yue was the one who made it earlier. I only heated it." Her frustration increased when her brother then confidently took the cup.
"Sokka, be considerate," Yue said, giving her sister-in-law an apologetic look, but to an extent, Yue herself seemed to recoil, perhaps harboring some innate fear— most likely fear for Sokka's life at the mention of the serum— that she didn't openly express. "I'm sorry, Katara, I know he doesn't mean—"
"Don't apologize, Cloudpuff, she knows the deal," Sokka told his wife, earning another frown from his sister. "Give me a thousand incarnata doses if you will, sis, but you're not going to separate me from Yue."
Katara's guilt and frustration sank into sorrow. Keeping in mind the events that happened in the North along with Sokka's natural protectiveness of Yue in general, she understood his sour mood. "Sokka, we're not going to do anything, okay?" she told her brother, her voice softening. "We just want to talk to you, that's all. I understand our actions didn't work out for the best, and I know you're really angry. If you don't want to see us right now, we'll wait however long you want us to wait. But just know that we're not trying to separate you from Yue, we promise. We get it now." She took a deep breath. "And we're not leaving without having a conversation with you. It's about the fate of the Water Tribe." And with that, the waterbending master saw her way out. Sokka remained unmoved by her speech.
"Sokka, you need to appear like you're doing well in front of everyone else," Yue said to him. "Convince them that you're in a better position than how you were before I came back...you know, since they don't remember anymore."
"But I am doing well! I'm great!"
"But you can't show them that if you're cooped up in this room oozing wrath and revenge," she said. "I know it's difficult, but it's crucial that you interact with them again. Otherwise they'll start a rumor that I've turned you into an ascetic."
"That's the only thing they're capable of doing," he glared in the direction of the door. "Spreading idiotic rumors. What I don't get is what else there is to talk about. They should get the hint by now that I want nothing to do with chiefdom."
"Even if you don't like what they're saying about the possibility of chiefdom, just hear them out, okay? Then you can express your opinion. And not with rage. The calmer you are, the more calculated you are, the better. Who knows, maybe you'll like what they have to offer this time. I can tell they're looking into changing a lot of things if it means they can have you as the leader again."
"So you're saying we should throw away the plans we had? Your writing, the healing center, everything?"
"I didn't say that," she said, but she still appeared uneasy from earlier. "I'm just telling you to humor them for a little while. I know you're more than capable of making an informed decision. All you need to do is hear them out."
"What's all this 'you' stuff anyway? You'll be next to me."
"Of course I will, but I need to go get supplies in a few minutes."
"Then I'll come with you—"
"I'll take Nayeli with me. You need to stay here."
He huffed out a breath of frustration, but she held his hand to assure him. "Sweetie, the reason I'm saying this is so that you can wrap up all conversations before eleven o'candle tonight, at least. That way, we'll have enough time to go to the Aurora Moon Festival."
His pulse quickened. How he'd dreamed of this for so long. "The Aurora Moon? You mean the color festival?!"
"Exactly," she smiled at his enthusiasm. Ever since Sokka cast away all of his birthday celebrations, Aang and Katara had been attending the festival whenever possible, and only Yue would know how many times Sokka subconsciously wished he could attend that festival with Yue despite their reunion being highly improbable. It would soothe his heart to finally attend it and even celebrate his birthday in that festive environment now that they were together.
"Back when we thought it was impossible for us to meet again, we were both drawn to it," Yue said. "But now we have a chance. We can't miss it. That's why I need you to interact with the others at least a little. So it'll be easier for us to go together."
Sokka smiled giddily at the possibility, but he still felt unsure about striking up a conversation with the others. For some reason, he had a bad feeling about this. "I've got an idea. Why don't we cook them a meal together?"
"No way."
"What? You said that I can flaunt my new cooking skills as much as I want."
"Don't say I didn't warn you, but Anyu and Firelord Zuko and Chief Bei Fong will likely be joining us for lunch. A few ministers might show up, too."
"They really have nothing else to do, do they?" he frowned. "But what does that have to do with me cooking?"
"What are they all going to think if they see you cooking them a meal?"
"What's wrong with that? Doesn't that show that I've been working on certain activities to distract myself from anxiety?"
He did have a good point. "But still, you can't...I was thinking of…" You can't cook for your own birthday, goofball. But she also knew that whatever was needed to keep him in happy spirits, she'd have to allow it. "Fine, but promise me you'll have an actual conversation with them. Tonight's a special night, and I want us to make the best of it."