December 12th 2019

Chapter 346
Their Run Toward Classes

Tuesday morning came around, and Maya felt what she could only describe as the more lawful version of the 'I don't want to go to school' feeling. Back before they'd moved to Texas, her mother and her, she would get that feeling, so many mornings as to make it pointless to try and keep track. Back then though, she didn't want to go because she hated it there, hated how it made her feel. Now… Now, it wasn't that she didn't want to be there, no. She wanted to go, more and more every time, except this time would be one of the last ones. It would be her last time with her Tuesday kiddos, like Shae, like Tia…

She thought about all those little faces, about everything she'd seen them do in the months since she'd started working there, and she thought… maybe even more than the rest… about what they would do the following year, and the year after that, and the year after that… She wouldn't get to see those. Sure, on the whole, that came hand in hand with the job, but this had just been too quick, too little time… She had to close all those books, and she wasn't ready.

"Did I wake you?" she whispered when she saw Lucas' fingers start to flex. She'd been absently dragging her fingers along the back of his hand, as it lay draped over her midsection, never thinking about how she was doing it and how it might wake him, until he'd moved.

"Jury's out on if I woke myself or you did," he mumbled, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. She smiled, turning herself over under his arm and burrowing herself closer to him. "Hey…" he smiled.

"How did I ever sleep without you next to me?" she quietly asked.

"A thing of the past," he vowed. Maya nodded, reaching up to trace her index finger along his brow, the bridge of his nose… "What's today looking like on the Maya scale?"

"The Maya scale?" she asked, giggling.

"Ten being 'let's go, let's go, let's go,' zero being 'not in a million years, I will tear your arm off if you make me.'"

"Wow," she gave an impressed nod. "Well… I guess in this case you could say it's a solid five. Either that, or I'm standing between the five and the six, with one eye to each extreme."

"So, a bit cross-eyed and pulled in two directions."

"Basically, yeah," she hummed. "There's nothing I can do about it, I know, so it is my choice and my privilege to be miserable about it."

"It sure is," Lucas nodded. "And where do I stand with doing anything and everything to cheer you up again by the end of the day?"

"Well, I'm not going to stop you," she shrugged with a smile, leaning in to whisper. "What's for lunch today?" she asked. He hadn't missed a single Tuesday, a single Thursday, all semester… Lucas shook his head: he wasn't going to tell her, "Oh, come on… I'm sad?"

He didn't budge, so they had to get out of bed and start getting ready, one headed to the university, the other to the elementary school. Lucas still dropped her off, and when they pulled up to the building and spotted Shae, waiting on the front steps, they shared a quick goodbye until that night and Maya climbed out of the car.

"I had a feeling I'd be seeing you out here," Maya moved up to sit with her. "Have you been sitting out here a long time?"

"Just a bit," Shae shrugged. "That's okay though. I was reading my book," she held up the small volume, which Maya knew was the last of a trio of books her teacher had assigned her in order to help her turn things around, when she'd stopped skipping out to spend her days at the mall.

"How's that going?" Maya asked. Shae looked almost anguished, with her finger stuck between the pages, like Maya had just come and interrupted her right at a crucial part.

"I think something bad's going to happen," she frowned, holding the book open for Maya to see. She was on the last page of a chapter, and the one starting on the next page was simply called 'No!' Maya had read the book back when she had been in the sixth grade, too… Well, she'd started to read it, then she'd found out there was a movie and that was the end of that, but one look at that title and she had a pretty good idea of what was about to happen. "When's that due?"

"Next week," Shae told her.

"Okay… Tell you what, put your bookmark in for now, let me hold on to it, then come and see me in Miss Samuelson's classroom at lunch? We'll finish it together."

She had some time before her first class, and before and after the second. She could read those first ten chapters by the time Shae came around at lunch time, no sweat.

"What do you have there?" Margo asked when she arrived and found Maya nose deep in the small book. She held it up for her to see. "Nostalgia with a side of trauma?"

"Don't know about nostalgia, I never read it before," Maya admitted.

"What, seriously?" Margo laughed, mystified. "Didn't you have to read it when you were in sixth?"

"Oh, I did," Maya confirmed. "I just… didn't."

"And you just decided to catch up now? Today?"

"Why, have I given you the impression that I suck at goodbyes?" Maya innocently asked.

"Hey, you do what you gotta do, I just know that book wrecked me when I was twelve and I'm pretty sure it would do the same today."

"No, yeah, I get that. I had trouble getting through assigned readings back then, and if there was a movie, I would just get my hands on that, be as discreet as possible about it. Got the DVD from the library, went to a neighbor's place to watch it. When they went and told Jess that Leslie was dead…" Maya shook her head, remembering.

"Didn't go well?" Margo guessed.

"Oh, I was raging, not having it," Maya laughed. "Anyway, Shae's reading it now, and she's one page away from however she's going to take it. Whatever problems I had back then, she's got other things to worry about. I invited her to come up here over lunch to finish up the read, hope that's okay."

"More than okay."

Her first last time with a group went about as well as she'd expected it to go. By the time the first graders went on their way, she'd counted up a good five times where she'd had to force herself to keep it together and not lose it in front of a student. The last one, with little Parker, had set her back some, but she had made Shae a promise, so she spent the time between her first and second class reading her way up to That Page. She had just a couple chapters left to go by the time her fifth graders filed in and took their places.

"I'm going to go see if I can scare up something for our special guest better than what the cafeteria's got going on," Margo told Maya after they left.

"I'll hurry up and get things cleaned up as soon as I'm done," Maya promised in return.

When she reached the page where Shae had stuck her bookmark, getting ahead of her for that one last page of chapter ten, she took a deep breath, sitting back. Twelve-year-old Maya had reacted to this moment like she'd been betrayed by this story she'd been getting to fall in love with, this wild world of imagination. Twenty-three-year-old Maya could see a lot more to the story now, but it still tugged at her heart, in ways it could not have done, not back in the day. Most of those kids, reading that book at that age, they wouldn't know what it was like to lose someone they loved, not personally. But Shae… Shae had lost her mom, five years ago, and it had turned her world upside down. The rest of that book could be a rollercoaster for her, and Maya wasn't going to leave her to ride it alone.

Shae came knocking a couple minutes after the lunch bell. She had that look in her eyes like she was trying to see through Maya's gaze, like she wanted to find some answer there as to what she was walking into. Margo was right at her heel, after having gone to get her from the cafeteria before she could grab anything. Lunch was already served.

"You want to eat first or…" Maya asked, holding up the book. Shae pointed to the book. "Right," Maya slowly nodded.

They sat together, so they could both see the pages opened up before them. After having wondered all morning what was going to happen next, Shae didn't take long to discover the fate of young Leslie. When she got to the bottom of the page, she spoke the title printed at the top of the next one, without even looking at it.

"No…" she breathed, looking up at Maya again, startled.

"Want me to read the next part?" she quietly asked Shae. The girl looked crushed. She wasn't going into a rage, like Maya had done, but she didn't look like she could remember there were more pages in this book. As far as she was concerned, there couldn't possibly be more after this, no way… If she was anything like Maya had been back then, and in some key ways she kind of was, then she would have gotten attached to the girl throughout the story, so to lose her so suddenly… It stirred up a lot.

Maya had lightly taken the book from her and started to read on ahead, while Shae listened quietly. She read all the way through to the end. When she got there, she set the book aside, pulling the near forgotten food closer to them, holding out a sandwich to Shae. After a few seconds, the girl took it, unwrapped it, and started to eat. Maya joined in, and they had themselves a quiet lunch. It wasn't exactly what each of them might have expected, but it wasn't as bad as it might have been either. When they were done, Maya picked up the book again, offered it out to Shae. She hesitated for a beat, but finally she took it up again.

"You know, you've made me realize there's a bunch of other books I should have read a long time ago but didn't. I'm glad I got to check that one off my list with you," Maya told her.

"Me, too," Shae replied, a hand pressed to the side of her face, carefully sweeping away those few tears which had gone and spilled themselves before. Maya couldn't say for sure, but she had a feeling the rest of the story, as read by her, had managed to pull her back from that initial shock, part of the way at least.

"You know what? I think you should give the book to your dad. Ask him to read it, too. After that, the two of you can talk about it, yeah?" Shae looked up at her, and she had that plea in the back of her eyes, the one that said 'please don't go.' But for now she just told Maya that she'd do as she suggested, before grabbing her things to go on ahead to her afternoon classes, which would eventually bring her right back into this room for her art period.

After she was gone, Maya finally had nothing left to give in her battle against this feeling, knowing she was going to leave all these kids soon, with the end of her field work. She had never felt so strongly how, much as she would be the teacher, they'd just as soon make a student out of her, all those kids… And all she wanted to do was learn.

TO BE CONTINUED

See you tomorrow! - mooners