Chapter 66

As the Eva are on final approach, back in NERV...

Misato: "Damn IT! Our best pilot is stuck here with that... thing on his arm, and it does whatever it wants! So no Eva for him and you can bet that bastard is not going to miss taking advantage of our short-handedness where the Eva are concerned. We've got the TRIDENT guarding Terminal dogma but..."

Ritsuko: "Yeah. I'm sure that won't be a problem since he's gone full Angel, if the mayor of Los Angeles's testimony can be believed."

Misato: (Pounding the desk) "There must be something we can do instead of just sitting around with our thumbs up our ass!"

Ritsuko: "Well, we're probably lucky that the … gauntlet chose Shinji-kun rather than Asuka."

Aoba: "Why's that?"

Ritsuko: "Cause the gender-bent Shinji-kun looks a hell of a lot like Yui-sensei."

Everyone: "EH?!"

Misato: "And how would you know that?!"

Ritsuko: "I may have never seen Yui-sensei, but my mother sure did, and I've been pouring over her memories that were uploaded to the Magi super-computer. In fact, here's a print out."

Maya: "Didn't former commander Gendo go to great lengths, to the point of exhaustion, to eliminate any and every record of Yui's existence?"

Ritsuko: "If it's a woman, aside from Yui-sensei, once Gendo gets what he wants, he just shoves her aside and forgets all about her. Or arranges for her to have an 'accident.' This includes my mother. Once she's out of the picture, out of sight, out of mind."

Misato brings together the picture Rei and Asuka took of Shinji in the hospital, after the Witchblade latched on to his arm, and the picture of Yui that Ritsuko managed to coax out of the Magi super-computer.

Misato: "... HOT FUCKING SHIT ON TOAST! IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, I'D SWEAR I WAS LOOKING AT TWO DIFFERENT PHOTOS OF THE SAME PERSON!"

Ritsuko: "Exactly my thoughts, Commander. As obsessed as Gendo is about Yui, this might, and I stress MIGHT be enough to get him to temporarily lower his guard..."

Misato: "Yeah, I can see how that wouldn't work with Asuka, but why would that not work with Rei? I mean..."

Ritsuko: "Commander, Gendo built Rei. He's been watching over her, and her clones, since she was a toddler! And we can all suspect who she's a clone of now, right?"

Misato takes another look at Rei's icon on the monitor. "SON OF A BITCH!"

Ritsuko: "Damn. I need a cigarette."

Maya: "Don't you dare...!"

Ritsuko: "Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to needlessly endanger the baby. No smokes, no booze, no coffee, no anything..."

Maya: "You still have me, Senpai! I'll take good care of both of you..."

Misato: "Enough of that talk. We'll put Shinji-kun on the other side of the doors for Terminal Dogma. I just hope we don't have to resort to such an … unreliable method, and that Lara Croft manages to bring in that 'Angel Expert' she promised before that bastard gets here."

Meanwhile, back at angel grove...

The wild-force Zords aren't doing any better than the Zeo zords, and even after merging to their "ultra-zord" version can't even take down one of the remaining five MP Eva. In fact, all they managed to accomplish is to take their attention off the newest rangers so Inquris can teleport them all, and the wreckage of their Zords, back to the command center.

Inquiris: "Was there anything we could have done?"

Alpha 5: "Aie, Aie, Aie. They're just too strong! That A-T field... is something the Zords can't stand against. We barely won against one of them because it had to lower the A-T field for a split second while attacking, but..."

Inquiris: "With five of them, the others can block while one attacks?"

Alpha-5: "Exactly!"

Even Tor, the Turtle-Zord, able to withstand Serpentis, a titanic dragon-themed machine capable of destroying entire planets is beginning to buckle beneath the MP Eva's relentless onslaught.

Inquiris: "Are we about to lose Tor, the turtle zord?!"

Alpha-5: "Aie, Aie, Aie... Oh, what's that?!"

Inquris: "Reinforcements? But for whom?"

Eva-01, Eva-02, Eva-04, Snake piloting his Metal Gear, and the Eva-Chimera all arrive and are para-dropped right on top of the MP Evas!

Asuka: "Thanks to you freaks, I'm not getting the snuggle time with mein Liebchen that I've been waiting over a month for! NOW! YOU! ARE! GOING! TO! PAY!"

The moment Eva-02 lands, Asuka takes off towards the nearest MP Eva, grabs it in an overhead suplex, and breaks it in half, bathing in its blood!

Asuka: "BWAHAHAHAHAA!"

This is just the start of the rampage. By the time Asuka's done, none of the five MP Eva are intact.

In fact, Asuka's reaching into her final victim and crushing its core when one of the cross-shaped swords comes flying at her from her blind spot.

Asuka: "Hah! As if that would hurt me!"

Asuka blocks it with her A-T field, until it starts to change shape into a lance of longinus.

Asuka: "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

The lance copy gets shot down by Alicia in Eva-04.

Alicia: "Leave some for us, okay?"

Rei: "You are not the only one irritated by Gendo's sick scheme, Mein Petit Liebchen!"

Kowaru: "You are not alone. Not this time!"

Mari Illustrious Makinami: "Yeah. What he said... Wait, what do you mean, 'this time,' Kowaru?"

Asuka: "Who cares?! SMASH THOSE CORES BEFORE THE FUCKERS GET UP AGAIN!"

Everyone: "With pleasure!"

The Eva-Chimera smashes an MP-Eva core with a rocket-powered punch.

Snake's Gear matches the frequency of another MP-Eva's A-T field with a plasma sword and incinerates the whole thing, including the core.

Rei smashes another two cores, just so she's not out-done.

Asuka smashes the core she was grabbing and finishes the set.

Suddenly, Rei flinches, with a loud "Thump" that causes an after-image of her to flare in Eva-01's cockpit. "Shinji-kun is calling for me, for us, Asuka-chan. We need to go to him. NOW!"

Eva-01's A-T wings manifest and the Eva's airborne. She takes off for Tokyo-3 at super-sonic speeds.

Asuka: "Oh, you're not leaving me behind, Wonder-girl. If you can do that with your A-T fields, then so can I!"

Asuka concentrates, and although she's a bit on the clumsy side, she does manage to take off with A-T field wings, and follow behind.

Alicia: "What about the rest of us?!"

Asuka: "Secure the area, and await pick-up... Sorry, Alicia-san. We can't risk putting too much strain on your S^2 engine, seeing what happened last time. Otherwise, we'd welcome your help!"

Rei: "Who are you and what have you done with Asuka?"

Asuka: "Shut it, Wonder-girl. We've got a Shinji stud-muffin waiting on us!"

Rei: "And there's the red-head we love!"

Asuka: "BAKA!"

Now to understand why Asuka and Rei are rushing back to Tokyo-3, we need to go back in time a little bit...

Lara Croft and Bayonetta are riding in the helicopter, approaching an air-craft carrier.

Lara: "Sorry, Luv. This bird doesn't have enough petrol to make the entire flight. We need to be transported by the carrier, The Hudson, the rest of the way."

Bayonetta: "Works for me, Luv. What do you say, Cheshire?"

Luka: "Never thought this bird would make it all the way. Just curious, who's manning The Hudson?"

Lara: "SEELE."

Bayonetta: "Those blighters? You're kidding, right?"

Luka: "No offense, Ms. Croft, but you'd willingly side with those …."

Lara: "Enemy of my enemy and all that. Don't really have a choice. President Grump doesn't have as much sway with his parliament as he needs. Has to fight for every penny, can't even build a wall against armed invaders without raising up a stink-storm back home."

Bayonetta: "He's an arse."

Lara: "... Can't argue that, Luv, but he keeps getting Impeachment threats for things the previous presidents got praised for. Kinda hard to not be an arse in that sewer..."

Bayonetta: "We expecting company, Luv?"

Lara: "Bloody hell?... Another helicopter? Coming from the Mexican Republic? That wasn't on the schedule... Oh, it's broadcasting the SEELE Friend or Foe signal... The Mexican SEELE agent is fleeing? Guess the drug lords got a bit too greedy, we might be booking it out of here sooner than we thought... WHAT THE HELL?! CODE BLUE?!"

To be continued...