London. An old pub in Mayfair. Crowley and Daji are seated in a corner leather banquette. Eric is in a seat near a window, where he can watch the street. He and Crowley each have a pint of porter and a steak and kidney pie before them. Daji is abstaining. Crowley sticks a fork into his pie, offers Daji the first bite.
Don't look so disgusted. You really should try this. It's delicious.
No.
Have it your way.
Crowley rests an elbow on the table and does his usual starving peasant routine with the pie, alternated with quaffs of the porter. Daji regards him with narrowed eyes.
Beelzebub said you would find me.
She wasn't wrong about that, now was she. Tell me why you're here.
Beelzebub thinks you are listening in on the disposable demon mobile phone system.
What makes her think that?
She says the response time on her phone seems slower than it used to be.
Are you the head of the Communications Department?
No. I am an underling.
Why am I not talking with the department head?
Beelzebub discorporated him.
Who was he?
Orusula.
He's had it coming for a long time, the swine. Never liked him. Why were you chosen to accost me?
I could explain to Beelzebub how the humans' mobile phone system works.
Just what in Hell does Communications do all day if they don't know that?
We work on wiring and switches and repairs. And paperwork. It is very backward. I am the only one who is interested in wireless communication. It was I who recommended purchase of cell phones for London disposable demons.
Why did you do that?
Because the phones have cameras and are more discreet than walkie talkies. Less likely to attract the attention of humans.
You suckered Orusula, didn't you.
There is a long pause, marked only by eating and drinking noises from Crowley. Then:
Yes. I did.
Good job. Did you explain to Beelzebub how her phone might be compromised?
Daji looks shifty.
Not exactly. I said I thought I could find out.
What do you know about cell phone bugging?
Only that it can be done.
What's it worth to you to find out exactly? Without spending a week in the library, only to discover that the answers are not there.
How do you know I visit libraries?
Crowley smirks.
Let me recap. You persuaded Communications to supply London observers with devices that you knew could be compromised. You got Orusula discorporated.
Also his vice director.
Good work. And Beelzebub's disposable demon communication system is probably hacked, thanks to you. And now you get to enjoy an official trip to Earth. No more having to sneak off on an old passport. Even if you won't eat the excellent food on offer.
I like Earth food. Just not food with dead animals. Or beer.
Ah. How about whisky?
I like whisky.
Crowley gets up and goes to the bar, returns with two glasses of Talisker. Looks up and meets Eric's anxious eyes. Nods toward the bar. Eric hops up and gets a glass of scotch, raises it to Crowley in a cautious silent "Thank you" and returns to his post by the window.
But now you have to produce some answers for Beelzebub. Answers that won't point directly to you as the source of the whole problem. What's it worth to you if I save you from a long, long visit to the sulfur spa? If you're that lucky. You know what she did to Hastur, of course.
I . . . I do not know what would be of value to you.
Cooperation. You work with my little team.
You are a traitor and a renegade. If I cooperate with you, I will be seen as a renegade as well.
Beelzebub is without doubt counting upon your talent for treachery.
You would risk my betraying you?
Crowley regards her in silence. Daji sips her scotch and does a long bout of mental math. Then she murmurs:
If I betray you, it won't be you that discorporates me, will it. It will be Beelzebub.
For the last time: what's it worth to you?