Wow.
After another two or so years, here we are at the end of another story. After almost four years, here we are wrapping up at the end of an era. Just to give some perspective, I was a junior in high school when I started this project. I'm now a junior in college. It's hard to even wrap my mind around that logic.
I just want to take this time and say thank you to each and every one of you for tuning it and giving these two stories a chance. Writing 'My Life with Phil' and 'And Then I Met Phil' have been two of my favorite projects. It's honestly really hard to let them go but all good things must come to an end at some point, right?
So, without further or do, welcome to the finale of 'My Life With Phil'!
Enjoy :')
WARNING (even in the very last chapter): SPEAK OF SUICIDE AND RAZORS
Dan's P.O.V.
~~~~~5 Years Later - May 14, 2021~~~~~
"Daddy! Tucker spat on me!" I hear Olivia cry from the lounge.
Rolling my eyes, I click save on my editing and race out of the office and down to the lounge where I see the whole mess unfolding.
"Princess, how many times did papa and I tell you not to bother your baby brother when he's eating?"
Speaking of, where is Phil?
"I'm sorry daddy. I asked papa if I could help feed Tucker while he finished up making dinner for the rest of us."
Before I could open my mouth again, I see Phil come running into the lounge, all red faced.
"Where's the emergency?!" And then he tripped and fell.
"Papa!" Olivia yelled and ran over to him. I raised my eyebrows and folded my arms, willing myself not to laugh and his clumsiness.
"Ow." I heard faintly.
"Are you okay papa?" Olivia asked worriedly.
Phil cracked his neck as he began to get up, nodding his head. "I'm fine baby girl. Why don't you go get Joseph and tell him dinner's almost ready?"
"Okay papa!" And she ran off.
Walking over to my husband, I helped him get back on to his feet. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, we've lived in this house now for almost 5 years and for some reason I always forget that step is there when you walk in."
Chuckling slightly, I kiss his cheek and shake my head slightly. "Baby, this is our forever home. You better start remembering before you fall on your head."
It was him this time who laughed. "This house is going to give me amnesia... again."
I roll my eyes again and hit his shoulder. "Don't remind me." I walk over to where Tucker is sitting quietly in his high chair... why it's in the lounge, I couldn't tell you. "I think it's time for this little one to go to sleep."
Phil walked over to where I was stood and kissed our son on the cheek, wishing him a goodnight and making his way back to our kitchen.
Quietly, I carried Tucker to his room and gently changed him before laying him down in his crib where he softly drifted off to sleep.
However, when I know I can leave his room... I can't.
Instead, I find myself leaning over his crib and watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he sleeps soundly. I've done this countless times with Olivia and Joseph so it's only right I find myself doing this with my third baby.
So many things have happened in the past 10 years or so - good and amazing yet the horrifying and traumatizing events as well. But it's made us who we are today and while some events happened that I wish never did, without the bad you can't have the good.
~~~~~0~~~~~
I furrowed my eyebrows. "What's the matter with you?"
"What do you mean?" Phil asked, looking over at the brunet.
"Your bad boy-player persona? Where'd it go?" I asked.
"'Bad boy-player persona'? Really Dan?" Phil asked.
"Oh shut up. Forget I asked." I said, looking forward again.
Phil chuckled softly. "You do know it's an act, right Howell?"
I remained silent.
Phil raised an eyebrow. "You actually think I'm like that?" Phil asked.
~~~~~0~~~~~
As I got closer to the school, I started feeling a bit uneasy. Yeah, this place is literally hell on earth but I normally don't feel like this.
I pull my earphones out and as soon as I did, someone jumped out in front of me.
"AHHH!" I screamed, stumbling back barely catching myself from falling.
The person who scared me was laughing hysterically in front of me.
I growled in annoyance. "Fuck off Lester." I said, pushing him out of my way.
He kept on laughing as he started to walk next to me. "Didn't know you had such a girly scream Howell." He said, chuckling still.
~~~~~0~~~~~
I open my eyes slowly and see no other than Phil Lester beating the shit out of Jonathan.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Why did you help me Phil?" I asked out of nowhere.
Phil remained silent, staring off into the distance in front of us before answering.
"Going to be honest, I don't know. I just felt the need to help you." He said.
...
"He tormented my sister... Up until the point that she couldn't take it anymore and she uh..."
My eyes widened in realization of what he was about to say. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry Phil."
He coughed slightly. "He's the reason I'm such a bully. He took away the thing that mattered most to me." He choked out.
I hesitantly reached my hand out and took his in my own.
...
He started leaning in and I can't believe it but I did too.
Just as our lips were about to touch, the bell rang.
We both jolted back, startled about what we about to do.
I quickly stood up and took off, leaving behind the man I'm supposed to hate.
Who almost ended up kissing me.
~~~~~0~~~~~
Out of everybody, it's Phil? Really heart?
~~~~~0~~~~~
"And I really do like you and yes I know you don't believe me but I do Dan, I really do."
I close my eyes to fight the tears brimming. I don't even know why I'm crying.
"Phil, even... even if you liked me and I liked you, it... it wouldn't work. You and I both know that."
...
"Talk to me Dan." Phil said.
"Leave me alone Phil. I don-" He cuts me off.
By kissing me.
My eyes go wide but I soon find myself kissing him back, my arms wrapping around his neck, his snaking around my waist protectively.
We pull away after much needed air.
"Do you believe me now?" He asked, breathing heavily.
I swallowed and bit my lip. I looked him in the eye and got lost in the sparkling blue.
I blinked and looked away. "Phil, I-" He cut me off by kissing me again.
"Please Dan. I really like you and I really want to be with you." Phil almost pleaded.
"But what about the others Phil?" I asked quietly.
"I don't give a fuck about what the others think Dan. They can think whatever the hell they want. I only care about what we want."
I looked at him and saw the truth and sincerity in his eyes.
He really does like me.
~~~~~0~~~~~
I sighed. "Because I am that person. Phil and I are dating." I said.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I just... I don't want the same thing to happen to you." I said, tears staining my cheeks.
"I'm not going anywhere Dan. I promise." Phil whispered.
~~~~~0~~~~~
I felt my knees go weak. "Phil? What about Phil? What happened?" I asked quickly.
"He got into a car wreck on his way to work."
~~~~~0~~~~
"Do you love him?"
"Yes... I do love him." I said without an hesitation.
...
"I love you Phil. I love you so fucking much. Please don't leave me."
...
"Dan?" He said suddenly.
"Yeah Phil?"
"I love you too."
~~~~~0~~~~~
He chuckled. "Bear, please. Go home and get some sleep. I'll probably still be here tomorrow and if not, you know where I live."
I chuckled this time. "Trying to get rid of me?" I asked jokingly.
He smiled playfully. "Of course not. You know I love you. But you're literally falling asleep on me bear. Please, for me?" He broke out the puppy dog face.
~~~~~0~~~~~
He placed it in front of me. "Merry Christmas bear. Open it."
I smiled and opened the gift sitting in front of me. I stopped when I saw it. There sitting inside the box was a teddy bear. I picked it up and looked at it. Only did I notice holding it that there was a collar thing on it with writing. I placed my fingers on it to see what it said.
My Bear - Dan
Suddenly, a tear fell from my eyes. I didn't even realize I was crying.
"Dan? Are you okay?" He asked worried.
I chuckled softly and nodded before looking up at him. "It's one of the best presents I've ever received Phil. I love it and I love you, so much."
He smiled and leaned forward, kissing me. "I love you too, my bear."
"My gift is stupid." I mumbled.
"No matter what it is bear, I'm going to love it." He said.
He opened his gift and I held my breath.
He chuckled when he saw it. "I guess we both had the same idea then." He stated.
I blushed and shrugged, letting out the breath.
He pulled out a lion from the box.
"I thought it would be nice since I know you like lions and all..." I rambled.
He placed it down and grabbed my face while I rambled, smashing our lips together in a kiss. I melted into it, kissing him back.
"You talk too much. I love it Dan." He said against my lips.
When we pulled away, we leaned our foreheads against one another, just staring into each others eyes.
"I love you my bear." He whispered.
I smiled softly. "And I love you my lion."
~~~~~0~~~~~
(TRIGGER WARNING)
"You truly made my life worth living again." I said softly. "Before you came into my life, at least this you, I contemplated for a long time about what would happen if I was just... gone. I was going to do it... I was going to... to..." I choked out.
...
"But I'm so glad I didn't. You Phil, have made my life worth living again... Thank you." I said tearfully.
...
"I love you, I love you, I love you, so fucking much Dan." He sobbed.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"It was after I realized how much of an idiot I was. I wanted to be with you for so long but you wanted nothing to do with me. So I stayed away for you, but it hurt, not being able to be yours. It ate me up inside for years. But when we met again this year, it felt like a second chance."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I don't know if you can hear me or not. You probably can't but I'm still going to talk to you." I started to say. "Dan... You have to wake up. I have no idea how you were able to cope in the hospital when I was admitted because you have been in here for a month and it's not getting any easier. What I would give to see your beautiful brown eyes and amazing smile again. I would literally trade my soul. You have to come back to me Dan. You can't leave. Yeah, I know the doctor said you should be waking up rather soon but what if he was wrong? I wouldn't know what to do... You're my whole life Dan. I love you so much... Please, wake up."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"An altar?" I asked curiously.
"Yes, an altar." He answered.
"Who's getting married?" I joked half-heartedly.
"Us... Someday." He answered sincerely.
I looked at him, shock but copious amounts of love evident in my features.
"Us? You want to marry me?"
He turned to face me, us now standing underneath the altar facing one another.
"Yes I do want to marry you. I would marry you right now if you wanted me to."
...
"Daniel James Howell, will you do me the honor and fake marry me until we're old enough to really get married?"
I chuckled, a tear falling down my cheek. I nodded my head vigorously. "Yes, I'll fake marry you."
~~~~0~~~~~
"I can't wait to be Mr. Daniel Lester then."
"Lester?" He asked surprised.
I nodded. "I want to just have your last name... Of course if that's okay with you." I said, suddenly unsure.
He smiled and kissed me again. "Sounds perfect. Mr. Philip and Daniel Lester... It's got a ring to it."
~~~~~0~~~~~
Phil found himself getting down on one knee, pulling a box out of his pocket as he did. I let out a choked sob.
He opened the box and held it up. Inside sat a simple, yet beautiful ring. A ring that was perfect for me.
"Daniel Howell... will you make me the happiest man alive and for real this time, marry me?"
...
"Yes." I mumbled into his neck. "A thousands times yes."
~~~~~0~~~~~
He looked back in front of us and bent forward. "I love your son more than anything. I would do anything for him. He is the light in my life. He saved my life." He sucked in a breath. "I'm sorry you couldn't be here to watch your son grow up to be the most amazing human being on this earth but I know you would be so proud of everything he has done, everything he has overcome. Dan is the most beautiful person I know and I can't even believe he agreed to marry me but oh my god, how happy I am that he did. I'm nothing without him. You raised an amazing person Mr. and Mrs. Howell and I promise to do everything I can to protect him and be there for him whenever he needs me, no matter what."
I let out a choked sob come from behind him but he continued on with what he was saying. "Thank you for literally giving me the one thing that keeps me alive and smiling and happy. Thank you so much for Daniel James Howell."
~~~~~0~~~~~
I placed my hand in my pocket and pulled out the ring, holding it up slightly before placing it back where it belonged, right on my ring finger.
Tori was the first to put two and two together.
She let out a loud gasp. "Are... are you two?" She started to ask.
There were two huge smiles on our faces as I nodded. "Yes, we are."
...
"Our baby is engaged?" His mum asked.
Phil nodded his head. They both walked over to us and gave us both a hug. His mum took my hand and looked at the ring.
"It's beautiful." She said in awe.
"Only the best for him." Phil stated as he kissed my head.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Dan, I know this is hard but just think of it. We're going off to university! The sooner we'll be out and we'll be together. And," He stops and takes my hand. "The sooner we'll be able to get married. It's only a little bit of time away my beautiful bear. We'll get through it. I know we will."
~~~~~0~~~~~
There he was, in the flesh. Phil fucking Lester, the one who told me he wouldn't be here until tomorrow, is sitting on my bed, waiting for me.
He got up and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, mine eventually snaking around his neck, my face literally shoved into the crook of it.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I was thinking that we could maybe..." I trailed off.
Phil raised an eyebrow. "Maybe...?"
"Move in together? Maybe not York but somewhere in the middle of here and there?" I asked, hopeful.
A smile broke out on to his face. "I would love nothing more."
~~~~~0~~~~~
Phil handed me his drink and took Amelia from Tori's arms, the baby almost immediately snuggling herself into Phil.
"Awwww." Everybody said in unison.
Phil only smiled and kissed her head.
I sigh in content looking at two of the people I love most.
I can't wait to start our family with him.
Phil is going to be the best dad ever.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"3 weeks. We're getting married in 3 weeks." I said in disbelief.
"And they can't come fast enough." Phil said.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Ready to marry your best friend?" He asked, the smile still plastered on his face.
My heart fluttered. "More than ready."
...
"Dan, I can't believe the day is finally here. It seems just like yesterday that I kissed you for the first time in our high school hallway after we both left detention. Sorry about that again, detention, not the kiss." He winked at me causing me laugh slightly as did some people sitting down. "It's so weird to think that that was only two years ago because it feels just like yesterday. Written on here are the same vows I said to you last year at our other 'wedding' but instead of saying 6 months, I've changed it to two years." Phil cleared his throat. "Dan, I know we really technically met in our 9th year but we really only got to know each other these past two years. But I can definitely say, these past two years have been the best two years of my entire life. I didn't know where I was going in life, I didn't even know why I was still here. Then I met you Dan. You're the reason I'm still smiling. You're the reason I wake up everyday. You are the reason everything. I love you so much Dan. I don't know what I would do without you." Phil sniffed up. "You are my number one fan, you are my other half, you are my best friend and I love you so much. I'll never let anything hurt you and I'll always be there when you need me to be, even when you don't want me there. Words will never be able to explain how much you and our relationship mean to me. The only thing I can say is that I love you and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you by my side, growing old and watching our children grow up. Things will change, even how much I love you will change because my love for you has grown dramatically since first meeting and it will continue to grow until our last breath. I love you, my bear. Forever and always."
Tears were rolling down both our cheeks. All you could hear was sniffing up across the entire room.
"Daniel, your vows?" The priest said.
I cleared my throat and pulled out a piece of paper as well from my jacket pocket, the opposite side from where Phil's note sat. "I don't know if I'll be able to compare to what Phil said but here goes nothing." I said causing Phil to chuckle slightly.
"Phil, as you said, I can't believe the day is finally here. It's been quite the journey the past few years and I know that if it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be. In more ways than one, you saved me. I went through life everyday wondering if it was worth it. After my parents died, I felt like everyone in my life was moving on forward and I was just stuck. Who would've thought that one day after school after rotting in detention would've changed it all. Again, I wandered through life wondering why I was still here, wondering if people even cared about me. But you Phil, proved me wrong in more ways than one. I will always be grateful for everything you've done and I will always be grateful for everything you will do. You're the reason I'm still smiling. Thank you Phil. I love you, so, so much. You are also my number one fan, my other half, and my best friend. I never thought I'd ever fall in love so quickly and so hard. But I did. And the fact that is was with my best friend just makes it so much better. We were only dating for a few months when you got hurt in that car wreck. That was the first time I told you I loved you. And then you woke up and said it back. It was in that moment I realized how much of an impact you made on me and my life. You became my life. You became my reason for living. My reason for smiling. My reason for loving. My reason to give everything I got. I also knew you'd be there supporting me in every decision I made and that you'll continue to support me regardless. I can't wait to be your husband forever. I love you, my lion. Forever and always." I took a deep breath. "My parents would be proud to call you their son." I finished, a tear rolling down my cheek.
...
We're married...
Phil and I are actually married.
Mr. and Mr. Lester...
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I think I need to take you to the hospital." I said after minutes of silence.
Dan had a pained look in his face, shaking his head. "No, please Phil. You know how much I hate hospitals."
My heart broke. "I know but Dan, this looks really bad."
~~~~~0~~~~~
I let my head fall down. Almost instantly as I did though I let out a loud gasp and shot my left hand up. "My ring?! Where's my ring?!" I cried.
"Dan, calm down. I have it."
I visibly calmed down and let out a breath, looking at Phil. "Can I have it back?" I asked, a weak smile evident on my face.
He smiled and slipped my ring off his right hand. I held my hand out for him while he slipped my wedding ring back into place.
"Right where it belongs." Phil said.
~~~~~~0~~~~~
I slowly lowered myself down and Phil stood up, walking straight over to me and grabbing my face and smashing our lips together, a squeak escaping my lips before he melted into the kiss, his arms wrapping around me.
We stood like this for as long as we could before we needed air. "Wow." I gasped.
"I've missed you." He mumbled, his hands still on my cheeks.
"I missed you too." I said kissing me again.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I can't wait until we have one." I said honestly.
I expected Phil's reaction to be... well not what he actually expressed.
"So let's have one." He stated.
~~~~~0~~~~~
I snuggled deeper into his chest and sighed in content, his arms wrapping around me tighter.
Three years ago I was a suicidal teenager who had nothing to live for.
Today I'm married to the best man in the entire world and I intend on starting a family of our own with him.
It may seem like life is out to get you and that there's nothing you can do to stop it. That's not even close to the case though.
Since the death of my parents, I thought I'd never learn to be happy again. I never thought I could love someone without feeling the guilt of not needing my parents anymore.
But look at me now. I have the most amazing family and the most amazing husband. Things get better. It doesn't stay horrible for long.
I felt that way for a long time...
And then I met Phil and I knew everything was going to be okay.
~~~~~0~~~~~
Adam squeezed my shoulder and got up to leave. I sat motionless, staring down at my hands. My wedding band glistened in the light.
We promised each other in sickness and in health... We promised each other forever...
A single tear dripped my eye and landed on my wedding band, splashing on to my knee.
What if Phil is paralyzed? Our entire lives would change.
I choked back a sob as I sat in the waiting room. Can someone come and take me away from all this?
This was the gut feeling I was experiencing. Oh god, Phil.
Please, don't leave me...
~~~~~0~~~~~
I sighed. "I know Tori but it's just so hard. I can't leave him like this... What if he wakes up and I'm not here? I'm his husband, I should be the first person he sees when he wakes up."
...
"Hey Phil, it's Dan again. I need you to wake up now. I honestly don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to cope with this silence. It's driving me mad." My finger ran over his wedding band. "You can't leave me like this Phil. We promised each other forever... don't go on breaking your promise. It's not your time Phil. We need more time together because two and a half years isn't enough." I silent tear ran down my cheek.
~~~~~0~~~~~
A wrecked sob crashed from my body as loudly as I could muster. Tears upon tears race down my face as my hand flies up to my mouth to try and muffle my sobs. Sliding down the wall, it's an endless scream.
He doesn't remember me.
~~~~~0~~~~~
He held the band up and I could see a glimmer of light in his eyes.
"You have an engraving on yours too." He stated.
A small smile cracked at my lips. "I do, yes."
"What do they mean?"
Swallowing the heartbreak, I took both rings gently from Phil's hand and held them up.
"Mine says 'My Bear - Dan' and yours says 'My Lion - Phil." I started to say. "Our ring engravings have a very big meaning behind them. For as long as we've been dating, your nickname for me is bear. You also bought me a teddy bear on Christmas with the exact same engraving on it's collar. Your engraving says lion because you love lions almost as much as you love me. It was something I never knew until one day we were talking about things we loved and you said you loved them. That same Christmas, I gave you a lion."
"May I?" I wanted to put his ring back on.
He nodded his head.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I just... I love you."
He blushed even harder and tried to hide his gaze. "I love you too." I heard him squeak out.
He's still a little shy about me. Despite the fact he's basically remembered everything, I guess he doesn't recall too much of his early flirting days.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"You want a baby now?"
"Not now, but within the next few years. It would be nice to have a little Dan or Phil running around."
My heart warmed as I smiled. "Who said it'll be a boy?"
"A Danielle or Philippa would do the same justice." He chuckled.
This caused Adam to snort out a laugh. "Oh my god, a little Dan. Lord save you now."
I punched his arm. "Hey. Don't be an ass."
"Ass!" Amelia repeated after me.
Oh shit.
~~~~~0~~~~~
He took me to our place.
He took me to our beach.
But that's not all he did. No, this literal amazing human being did something else.
"This is all for me?" I asked in disbelief.
In the sand in front of me, there's a little note imprinted.
'Forever and always - my bear, Dan'
"That's our saying." I whispered, tears filling my eyes slightly.
There's a dozen roses planted in front of the note.
Reaching down, I picked them up. I noticed quickly that one rose was not like the others.
It was a fake rose.
"I'll love you until the last rose dies." Phil said, wrapping his arms protectively around my waist.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Don't you dare say you're weak Philip Michael Lester. You are far from it. You're the strongest person I know and I'm not just saying that cause I'm your husband." Phil remained silent. "Phil, this isn't some little thing that people can just make jokes about and forget minutes later. Your sister died Phil. I know it, you know it, we all know it. The fact you don't want to go to this stupid fucking party that your sister's ex-boyfriend's family is throwing isn't making you weak. It makes you really fucking strong that you even considered going, especially after everything. Look me in the eyes right now and tell me you're strong, not weak."
"Dan, I-" I cut him off.
"Say it Phil." I let go off his chin.
"I'm strong, not weak." He repeated.
"Good, remember that."
I went to go stand up but Phil grabbed my wrist, silently asking me to sit back down.
"Can... can we stay a little bit longer?"
Nodding my head, a small smile marked my features. "Of course."
Even the strongest people have their weak moments. It doesn't make us weak, it makes us human.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I'm sorry."
I reached my hand up and brushed my fingers across his cheek. "It's okay Phil."
"No it's not. I shouldn't of left like that and I shouldn't of kept you out of the loop. I'm your husband. I'm supposed to treat you better than that."
"I still managed to find you, didn't I?" I cracked a small smile.
Phil matched my smile. "That you did."
~~~~~0~~~~~
He shook his head and inhaled deeply. "I kissed someone else."
And just like that, my entire world came to a stop.
Phil... cheated on me?
~~~~~0~~~~~
"...were you sending her signs Phil?" I asked quietly.
"NO!" He exasperated. "You have to believe me Dan. I'm your husband and I love you."
I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. I retracted my hand from his and wiped away my tears. "I... I want to believe you Phil and a big part of me does but, when you said you kissed someone else, I felt my heart literally shatter into a million pieces." I felt a hiccup in my throat as the next words poured from my lips.
"I-I need some time alone." I said, going to get up.
Phil latched on to my hand in a death defying grip. "Dan please... Don't leave me."
Hearing those words almost hurt as much as hearing someone else kissed Phil. Trying to fight back the tears, I shake my head and blink rapidly. "I'm sorry." It was muttered as I got up and left the room.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I thought I lost you." Phil suddenly said. "I thought I would never see you again and that you were going to leave me." He started getting choked up.
"Never. What happened, it wasn't your fault Phil and I know that."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Phil... these are absolutely beautiful."
He blushed slightly. "I'm sorry they took so long. But I wanted them to be perfect and then when they told me it would take a few months-" I cut him off.
"No Phil, it's perfect, they're perfect. I love them. Thank you."
What I'm holding in my hands are three decently sized framed photographs. Three photographs from our wedding.
One slot holds a picture of Phil while another holds one of just me.
The last one holds a picture of the both of us mid-kiss in the middle of our first dance.
"I love it so much Phil. Thank you so much."
...
"Dan." He said softly. "This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever received."
"So you like it?" I asked hopeful.
He looked up at me with a smile. "I love it. And I love you. Thank you."
In Phil's hands, he's holding a custom made piece that I had made to symbolize some special dates in our life.
10.19.09
Where It All Began
06.20.10
He Said Yes
10.19.11
We Said 'I Do'
Philip and Daniel Lester
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I want a baby Phil."
~~~~~0~~~~~
As if my smile couldn't get any bigger, it did. "We're going to have a baby Phil."
"We're going to have a baby Dan." He repeated after me.
...
The tears fell rapid down my face. "They have a match to our application Phil... There's a surrogate who wants to meet us today at 11:30."
"What?!" Phil couldn't believe what he was hearing either.
The biggest smile was on my face and I couldn't stop the tears even if I bothered trying. "Our dream is coming true Phil... We're one step closer to having our baby."
~~~~~0~~~~~
Phil and I looked at each other, smiles on both our faces. "I don't even think we need to talk about it do we?" I asked Phil.
He shook his head. "No, we don't."
The both of us looked back at the woman sat in front of us. She was wearing the same smile as us.
"We want you to be our surrogate Adaline."
~~~~~0~~~~~
She pulls something from behind her back. Some sort of stick...
...
A PREGNANCY TEST,
With a tiny, pink plus sign.
Phil started to put two and two together as well.
"Congratulations you two, you're having a baby!"
~~~~~0~~~~~
"That's... that's our baby?" I asked, not believing anything that's happening right now.
Phil's eyes are glued to the screen when I looked over at him... but he has a large smile on his face.
My eyes filled with tears slightly when I looked back over to the screen.
"You see that small yet fast flutter?" Dr. Kelley asked.
We both nodded our heads.
"That's your baby's heartbeat and it's healthy and strong."
~~~~~0~~~~~
Phil looked at me through the dark, some tears in his eyes and a huge smile on his face.
"Adaline's in labor! She's having the baby!"
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Here we go!" The doctor says. "And the baby's out!"
Phil and I lock eyes, both of them filled with tears that are streaming down our cheeks. Our baby is here.
"And it's a healthy baby girl!"
A slight gasp passes my lips as I look back and forth between our daughter and my husband. "We have a daughter." I cried.
Phil leans over the bed and reaches for my hand, squeezing it in his grasp. "We have a daughter."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Meet the newest addition to the Lester family, Olivia Margaret Lester."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Phil? Are we heading to the place I think we're heading?" I asked, actually hopeful.
"That depends, where do you think we're heading?"
"Back to the place where it all began." I said more than asked.
Phil didn't say anything but he did look over at me, the biggest smile on his face.
He pulled over and turned off the car, getting out and again opening the door for me.
"Just like you said, back to the place where it all began." He repeated, caressing my hand.
...
Phil let out a hearty laugh. "I can't wait to bring Olivia here... and then eventually the rest of our kids."
My heart warmed at the thought. "How many kids do you want total?"
"Well, I always saw myself as being a dad to at least three kids. But I'm not too sure anymore." He chuckled. "And you?"
"Me too actually. I've always wanted three kids. Two girls and a boy."
"Well, we're one-third the way there."
I smiled and took Phil's hand, kissing it. "I can't wait for all the adventures we'll take as a family." I said sincerely.
Phil placed his chin on top of my head. "Me too bear, me too."
~~~~~0~~~~~
She is truly a beautiful baby and I love her so much.
I'm so happy I get to be her daddy.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Either Phil has lost a lot of weight and has shrunk overnight or this is my daughter waking me from my peaceful sleep." I said groggily. "I'm hoping for the latter." I half joked.
"Hey! Offensive." Phil replied. I felt the bed dip on my right and I opened my eyes and was greeted with my daughter sitting on my chest and my husband sitting to my right, smiling. "Happy birthday bear."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Can you crawl to papa? Phil asked, holding his arms out as an incentive.
She cocked her head to the side slightly, confused as to what Phil was asking. But then suddenly, it seemed like she understood what Phil had asked because she was off her butt and on to her hands and knees, making her way over to Phil.
"That's it baby girl! You're doing it!"
I could actually cry watching the scene before me because it's just so fucking precious and cute.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"More kids eh? You two want another baby?" John asked with raised eyebrows.
Phil looked over in my direction, almost as if he were asking if it was okay to answer his father's speculations. Giving him a small smile was my go ahead.
He averted his attention back to John who still stood with raised eyebrows.
"We've been talking about expanding our family a little bit recently." Phil started.
...
I didn't say anything for a moment before finally speaking up. "I think Olivia should have a sibling close in age."
Phil was silent.
Sensing this, I started to blabber. "I'm sorry, I know you said you wanted to talk about this more and that you wanted to spend more ti-" I was cut off by Phil releasing his hold on me and standing next to me, turning my body towards him and kissing me. I physically relaxed against him.
"You talk too much." He muttered against my lips.
I inaudibly grumbled back against his lips before we pulled away from one another. He was smiling at me.
"What?"
"I think that's a great idea."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"You're not alone Dan, you're never alone. Remember that." He said sincerely, taking one of my hands and kissing it.
~~~~~0~~~~~
Swallowing hard, my head fell on to his shoulders and I placed my left hand on top of his from where it was placed on his lap. His wedding band felt cold against my finger as I touched it.
"I can't do another funeral Phil. I can't say goodbye to another person I love."
"I know Dan and I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how you're feeling right now." He held me tighter, his left hand now holding mine. "But you're not alone. You are never alone."
"But I've never felt more alone." I admitted softly, my eyes starting to fill with fresh tears. "After my parents died, my gram did everything and anything for Adam and I. She didn't even give herself time to grieve over her dead son and daughter-in-law. All she cared about was the two of us and our happiness. I didn't even think about it sometimes. She gave us everything and then some."
"I've only known your gram for as long as we've been together but she definitely felt like family to me too and I know how much you loved and adored her. I did too and she will be incredibly missed by many. I'm sorry this happened and I wish I could take your pain away but I can't. All I can say is that I'm here for you no matter what. You've got me."
~~~~~0~~~~~
He smiled at me. "Think about it. Can't you see another little baby in our family, a little sibling for Olivia? I want her to have a sibling close in age. You and Adam had that as did Olivia and I growing up and I loved that and I think she would love that to-" I cut Phil off with a kiss to the lips.
"Stop talking, you're rambling."
We both laughed slightly. "But... what are your thoughts?"
I smiled widely and nodded my head. "I would love to have another baby."
His smile matched mine. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Penny for your thoughts?"
He turned to look at me and smiled, shrugging his shoulders. "Just thinking that this time next year, there could be four of us."
"That's a nice mental image." I stated and crossed my arms, leaning against the doorframe. "Our two children unwrapping their presents on Christmas morning." My heart swelled at the thought.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Congratulations you two, you're having another baby."
I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding and tears filled my eyes. "You're pregnant?"
"I am. 5 weeks according to the doctor I went to a few days ago. The baby is due August 19th."
"This is the best Christmas gift we've ever received."
~~~~~0~~~~~
Oh my god, Phil! She's walking!"
Phil's entire attention averted to Olivia as she continues to hold on to the chairs and makes her way around the table.
We both whip out our phones, neither wanting to miss another second of our baby taking her first steps.
"Stop growing up!" I cried slightly causing Phil to laugh.
Our baby is officially a walker.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"There's the baby." She moves the wand around more. "There are it's ten little toes and ten little fingers." Moves around more. "Do we want to know the sex of the baby or are we waiting like last time?"
Adaline looks at the two of us and cocks her eyebrow. "Are we waiting like Olivia or are we finding out now?"
Phil and I looked at each other and nodded knowing full well what we both wanted.
"We're going to wait like last time."
...
Phil and I are having another baby.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"I'm going to cry Phil."
He snickered and shook his head. "Bear, we're buying Olivia a new bed, not sending her off to university."
"This is a huge thing though! She's getting a bigger bed because she's becoming a big girl!"
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Because I know I'm not in this alone. I have the best husband in the entire world who is also the best daddy in the entire world to our little girl who's taking a nap down the hall." He took my hands and interlaced our fingers together. "As long as we have each other, everything will be the way it needs to be." Phil said.
~~~~~0~~~~~
"We're having another baby."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Congratulations on becoming daddy and papa again." The doctor smiled at us. "Ready to hear what the baby is?"
"More than ready." I sniffed up, laughing slightly.
"Dan and Phil, meet your son."
A choked sob caught in the both of our throats. We have a son.
...
"Do we have a name for this handsome little boy yet?"
Phil and I looked at one another, proud smiles plastered on our faces.
"We do... His name is Joseph Michael Lester."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Daddy!" She squealed.
I'll never get tired of hearing that.
...
"I have another gift for you." He suddenly said and leaned over the side of the couch were he pulled out a tiny box.
"Phil, you've already given me so much. I can't accept anything else."
He shook his head and shoved the box into my hand. "Please, just take it."
Smiling softly, I take the box from his hand and open it. A loud gasp falls from my lips.
"I know that is was really big when I gave it to you just about 5 years ago. I'll never forget when you told me that you woke up one time and you couldn't find it cause it slipped off in your sleep and just how panicked you were. I know it took some time but it was a little more expensive then I thought but I finally managed to get it done." He took a breath. "I guess it's not considered an actual gift since it was already yours to begin with but-" I cut him off with a kiss.
"You talk too much." I mumbled against his lips.
We kissed for a few more moments before pulling away for much needed air. "I absolutely love it. And you were right, it used to fall off all the time... that's why I didn't really wear it anymore." It hurt me to even say that sentence. "I've missed wearing it."
He smiled and gently took the box from my hand. "May I?"
I matched his smile and nodded my head. Slipping off my wedding ring, I hold out my left hand to him. He takes my engagement ring out of its confinements and gently rolls it back on to m finger.
"Back where it belongs." I said all while slipping my wedding ring back on too, securing my engagement ring with it.
"Merry Christmas my bear."
"Merry Christmas my lion."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Who's genetic sample are we using for our last baby? We already have one of each." Phil said.
"Phil you make it sound like they're some precious new toys." I chuckled. "But to answer your question, I think we should use yours again."
Nodding his head, he kissed my hand. "Noted."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Congratulations, Lester baby number three is on the way!"
~~~~~0~~~~~
"And we have a baby boy!" Dr. Kelley said happily.
Another son, we have another son.
"Do we have a name for this handsome little boy?"
"Tucker James Lester."
~~~~~0~~~~~
"Baby?"
Pulling me from my endless memories, I turn to see Phil standing in the doorway with Olivia and Joseph in tow. "Sorry, were you calling me?"
I can see his face crack a gentle smile despite the darkness. "Dinner's ready."
Nodding, my head turns to look back at our sleeping son and say, "I'll be there in a second."
Turning back around entirely, I hear Phil mumble something softly to our kids before they scamper off to what I assume is the dinning area for dinner. Before long, I felt a familiar set of arms wrap their way around my front. "Are you daydreaming again?"
Chuckling slightly, I place my hands where Phil's arms are and lean back against him. "You know me so well."
"I'd hope so, we've only been together for more than a decade." He joked and kissed the back of my neck.
"It's just... we've come so far from when were in high school. It feels like that was so long ago."
"Well, it kind of was. Baby, we're both almost 30. We've got three beautiful children and an amazing family all around."
"Almost 30? I'm still 28." I joked.
I could feel him roll his eyes. "You'll be 29 in literally a month Dan."
We both laughed slightly but once it died down, we both returned to our serious side. Or well, the best serious side we can because let's face it, we're Dan and Phil.
"I love you." I said after a few moments.
"I love you more."
"I love you most."
"I love you forever." We managed to both say at the same time.
Turning around in his arms, I wrap mine around his neck and draw him in for a kiss. We remain in total solitude until...
"Daddy! Papa! Joseph spilled water all over the table!"
Sighing contently, we lean our foreheads against one another before pecking each other on the lips once more and leaving our third baby sleeping sounding in his crib.
If you had asked me 10 years ago how I think my life would be right now, I probably would've told you I wouldn't of known because my razor would've finished me off years ago.
However, this didn't happen and it's all thanks to the man who currently holding my hand as we make our way to our older children who are making a mess in our dining room of our forever home.
I know I've said it countless times before but I need to keep saying it: things get better.
It may not feel like it in the moment but just hold on for as long as you can and I promise you, things will get better.
You remember as vividly as I do how much I hated my life after the death of my parents and I was so close to giving everything up...
And then I met Phil and everything changed... I would not be the man I am today had the both of us not received detention that one fateful day after class.
This has been my life with Phil.
Wow.
I'm gonna go cry in the corner brb
...
...
I can't believe it's over. 4 years of my life I have dedicated to this storyline (with an occasion hiatus or two) but nonetheless, still 4 years.
Thank you all so much for giving this story a chance! I sincerely appreciate each and every single one of you for without you, these stories would not have been possible.
And last thing, happy holidays everyone! Consider this my gift to you all (just like three years ago it was a proposal and two years it was a sequel).
Until next time,
~Strawberry4life