STRANGE DAYS

Chapter 250

See first chapter for disclaimers.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Storyseeker for beta-reading this. As usual, if you have any comments or preferences, please don't be shy. RandR. Slight spoilers for the manga.

AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: Years ago, a series of books came out that encompassed all of the Star Trek series of the time. The premise was that a tavern existed that had entrances across time and space and allowed the captains of mighty vessels from across history and the universe to meet and share drinks and stories. I was reminded of the books recently and decided to use it as a premise for this.

Welcome to The Captain's Table.

Harry Potter & Worm (Tattletale)

And now…

Star Trek: TNG And…? And…? And…?

The Captain's Table

Jean Luc Picard looked around the familiar tavern in surprise. It had been years since he first encountered The Captain's Table on a distant planet. He had learned there were other entrances, many in fact, but this was the first time he'd come across one. He looked around, seeing one or two familiar faces. The décor hadn't changed, nor had the sense of warmth and camaraderie the place seemed to engender in its patrons.

He spotted a young Klingon captain that he knew he'd met once as an old man serving on the high council. The brash young warrior was bragging about a victory over a Federation task force. That, Picard knew, had happened just over 60 years ago.

He spotted several unfamiliar uniforms and species in the bar. After collecting a mug of ale from the bar, he looked for likely prospects. There were tables with several interesting groupings, but he found himself drawn to a table occupied by humans in several different uniforms, most unfamiliar. One, though, was very familiar. A man wearing a gold shirt, black trousers, and black boots. He had met the man before, although it was unlikely the man would know him. Wrong point in the time line.

"May I join you?" Picard asked, approaching the table. The people at the table looked up and nodded, indicating a seat toward the end.

"If you're looking for heroic tales, you might regret the choice." a man in a blue and black uniform with an unfamiliar emblem said by way of greeting. "This is more of a mutual pity party." The others rolled their eyes.

"We're commiserating over some of the strange situations our crews and superiors have put us in." a large specimen in a black and gray uniform offered with an easy grin. "I'm Dylan." He nodded to gold shirt. "Jim was just telling us about a capital crime committed by his first officer."

"He really should have trusted me and just asked for help," the man groused. "Instead, he kidnapped his former captain and hijacked my ship to pay a visit to a planet that it is actually a crime to go near."

"Talos IV?" Picard asked. The man nodded.

"Heard about that, did you?"

Picard nodded. Then made his own offering to the group. "My first officer nearly started a war with a species we still can't communicate with." The others looked startled. "He did it to save me, but the peril of one person, even the ship's captain, is not a reason to do something so reckless."

"Agreed," Jim said. The others nodded.

"Mine once came close to ruining delicate negotiations by losing her temper with the delegates," Dylan offered. "She explained our position and the benefits to them in the simplest and most insulting manner she could, and ended by saying that if they didn't see what they got out of the deal, they were even stupider than they looked."

The captain in the blue uniform, who had introduced himself as Ed, greeted the story with a low whistle. "The number of times I've wanted to do something like that…"

The others chuckled.

"Fortunately, it was just what was needed to get their attention. The new Commonwealth charter was signed not long after that." He shook his head. "Despite her temper, she's a great first officer. I'd promote her, but she's already a captain in her own right, and the last thing I need is an admiral to answer to."

"Amen." The others chorused, raising their mugs.

"How about your first officer?" the black clad captain asked Ed.

"Didn't know who it would be when I took command, or I might not have." He frowned slightly. "She's my ex-wife. I divorced her for cheating on me."

The other three shared unreadable looks before Jim shrugged. "You win."

"That must be awkward." Picard offered.

"We've managed to make peace over it." The man shrugged. "These days, the most awkward part of it is having an XO that knows me so well, and has absolutely no hesitation over calling me on my bullshit."

The others chuckled.

"Is the rest of your crew as…interesting?" Jim asked.

"My science officer is an AI, one of an entire race of AIs. No emotions and almost no understanding of how organics think and act. Rude as hell, but he's a damn fine officer."

"Rude?" Picard asked.

"Doesn't hesitate to remind us that he's a superior being, and let's just say he'll never be a diplomat."

"My second officer, Data, is an android." Picard offered. "He's one of a kind, in every sense of the phrase. Good officer and unfailingly polite. That might not have been the case initially, I suspect. I've met his programmer, who told tales of struggling with his 'education.' Apparently, since environmental factors don't affect him, he once saw no need to wear clothes. She actually had to write a modesty subroutine for him."

"Now that would be awkward." Jim agreed. "My only similar experience was with a machine that the Fleet hoped would automate starships." He winced. "Didn't work out as they hoped. It wound up killing one of my crew and destroying another starship completely before we could shut it down."

Dylan took a drink, considering. "Romie, my ship's avatar, is amazing. She has caused her share of problems, but nothing on that scale." When the others looked curious, he elaborated. "Any technological system can be hacked or develop flaws that make it unintentionally dangerous. Doesn't stop her from being a good person, but when an organic gets a cold you generally don't have to worry about ship' systems going haywire."

The others nodded, understanding.

"It can get weird." Dylan allowed, trying to lighten the mood.

"Tell me about it." Ed chuckled. "My science officer started dating our ship's doctor. Normally, a very level-headed woman. She knows his nature and limitations, and still went ahead with it."

"That can't have ended well." Jim winced.

"They've had a few rough patches. They broke up, but he discovered that… How did he put it? The modifications he'd made to his programming required her continued input for optimal function?"

"How romantic." Dylan deadpanned.

"In a bid to get her back, he actually made it rain on the bridge, playing out some scene from an old Earth entertainment to try to apologize. 'Singing in the rain' playing in the background."

"Rain on the bridge?" Picard asked incredulously.

"I think he wins again." Jim chuckled.