"Brienne," he breathed. He met her eyes, blue and bright with tears. She wasn't so far away that he couldn't see her crestfallen face, so much more than her usual scowl that he had seen her face adorned with the night before. Her hair was braided, pulled back from her face in an unattractive manner. She stepped backwards and tripped against the wall, stumbling to the ground ungracefully. Jaime couldn't keep in the chuckle that escaped him as he reached her and offered her a hand to pull her up.

"Are you a woman?" Jaime said in faux disbelief, similar to what he had asked Catelyn Stark when he had first met Brienne. He found himself grinning when she elbowed him forcefully in the stomach. That cleared that up. Only his Brienne would do that. "I just thought I should start the way I started last time, to make you fall in love with me again."

Brienne tutted and rolled her eyes. "I assure you it was not that comment that had me falling in love with you."

"But you admit you did?" Jaime returned. Brienne scowled.

"That depends: have you just fucked Cersei?" she asked and the control over her facial features was almost impressive. She must have been taking lessons from Sansa. Jaime's eyes widened and he glanced at the direction Cersei had sauntered off in. "Because, if you have, I swear to all seven gods, Jaime-"

Jaime sighed. His hand twitched. He wanted to reach for her, to press his two hands on her cheeks and bring her close. "Of course I haven't just fucked Cersei. Why would I do that when I have a long-haired wench waiting for me?" He reached for her braid and pulled it lightly, enjoying her scowl. He brought the braid over her shoulder and placed it down gently, caressing her shirt-covered shoulder lightly with the pad of his thumb. "I promise you, Brienne. That's all over, I promise. She came to me and I refused her."

Brienne nodded a bit shakily. "I trust you," she said with half a smile and Jaime's stomach squirmed, remembering sitting up in their bed at Winterfell, ready to leave.

"Come into my chambers," Jaime said, feeling dread fall like a brick in his stomach "I need to talk to you."

When he was finished telling her what he nearly did, what he was going to do, she was silent. Sat on the armchair by the fireplace, she was utterly silent. Jaime listened carefully to ensure she was breathing as he paced relentlessly by the window. His stomach grumbled and Brienne did not react. Jaime sat down on the bed and Brienne did not react. Only when he opened his mouth to say something, unable to bear the tension in the room, did she open her mouth too.

"What were you going to do?" she croaked, as though she had not spoken for a long time, or as though she were holding back tears. Jaime obviously knew it was the latter and he hated it so much, hated himself so much.

"Take her somewhere," Jaime said honestly. "Keep her safe until the baby came and then bring them both back, keep the baby and let Cersei be tried."

Brienne scoffed. "You would never have let them kill Cersei."

Jaime looked away from her cerulean eyes. He didn't know if he would have either. Thankfully, it never got that far. Thankfully, the gods or fate or Bran bloody Stark sent them back in time before Jaime could irrevocably fuck up his love life. In hindsight, Jaime had really just said a big fuck you to his benefactor by telling Brienne.

"I don't know what I would have done," Jaime told her. Brienne nodded. "I just- I couldn't let them kill another one of my children. I wanted to be-"

"A father? Well, I don't suppose you had anything other opportunities." Brienne sounded bitter, so unhappy that Jaime rushed over to her and knelt down by her legs, pressing a kiss to her knee. She jerked away from him. "Don't, Jaime."

"Of course I want your children. Of course I do. Don't doubt-"

"You keep saying of course, Jaime! Of course you didn't sleep with Cersei. Of course you wanted to have children with me. Why am I supposed to just believe you?"

Jaime shook his head, blinking back desperate tears. "I couldn't bear the idea that I would have a child with you and one day have to tell it that I didn't fight for its brother or sister, that I let four of my children die before it arrived, okay, Brienne? I don't know how to make you believe me. I just need you to trust me."

She was silent a few instants. "I do trust you," she said and a smile rose unbidden on Jaime's face, hopeful and wary of what she would say next. "But it's going to take a while to-"

"To get over me trying to leave you," Jaime said with a nod. "I know. That's why I told you straight away. This way, I can make you trust me again and then we can have lots of great sex." Brienne gave him a disapproving look but Jaime waved at her with his right hand. "I have two hands now."

She did grin at that. "I'm very happy for you."

"I'm very happy for you," Jaime said with undertones that he hoped made her anticipate what he was going to do to her, when she was ready to trust him fully again. And she would. He was going to prove to her that she was all he wanted. She blushed and looked away. "This is my better hand too. You can't imagine how good my fingers are going to make you come."

"Jaime!" Brienne cried, pressing her hands against her cheeks. Jaime smirked. "Jaime," Brienne said, her tone slightly more level. "I need-" she cut herself off and swallowed, her throat bobbing. She held out a hand to him, where he was still kneeling by her knees. "I need some time."

"I know, love," he said softly, pressing another kiss to her knee. He leaned his head against her thigh and they sat there in silence for a few moments. Jaime listened to Brienne's breathing, wondering how he had gone so long without it, wondering how he was ever going to leave her. How could he have listened to this and thought he could leave? "I missed you," Jaime whispered, glancing up at her blue eyes. She managed to move her lips upwards for him and he saw that her eyes sparkled. She nodded in a way that Jaime thought might have meant that she felt the same.

"I thought I might arrive and you wouldn't remember," Brienne said. Jaime swallowed. If she had not remembered, he was certain that he would have been able to make her fall in love with him, eventually. She was kind and good and she would have listened to him until she realised that he loved her. If he had not remembered, she would have arrived here to find a Cersei-obsessed bastard, being led around by the possibility of a fuck once a month or so, doing whatever it took to keep Cersei and their secret safe. The thought brought bile to Jaime's fault.

"Jaime," she said a few more moments later, when Jaime's face was pressed fully into her thigh, trying to stop the thoughts of how awful life without her was. Jaime glanced up to her. "I'm a maiden."

Jaime nearly choked, at the fact that the words were coming out of her mouth and at the reminder that she was in a body of before Jaime had taken her maidenhead, half-drunk and fumbling. "I- Brienne," he breathed, looking up at her. Surely she knew what she had just said to him.

She had started speaking again when a mad plan came to Jaime. He drew away from her and the change of position made her stop speaking. Standing, Jaime turned around the room slowly, searching for something, anything, that would fulfil his purpose. She said his name and he shot her a smile as his circle of the room finished, his search a failure.

Jaime shook his head. "No matter." Jaime sank to one knee instead of two this time.

"Jaime." Her tone was full of warning but Jaime would ask and he would ask once. If she said no, then he would fight for her to be his lover, fight to regain her trust and be happy with her as his lover while he was a kingsguard. But this was what he wanted. He wanted to share a name, to share a life, a bedchamber.

"Marry me," he said. He didn't smile because he did not want her to believe it a jest. He pressed a kiss to her knee again. "Marry me. I know that it is a small gesture and currently rather an empty gesture because I am a kingsguard, but we'll find a loophole, we'll escape that and then get married and live happily ever after with seven children or no children or as many children as you want-"

Jaime hardly breathed. His mind rambled and so his mouth rambled. He'd never had much of a filter. He was almost grateful when she cut him off. "Jaime," she said, a soft smile at her lips. For a moment, Jaime thought she was going to laugh at him. "Let's get married."

A laugh escaped Jaime's lips, full of relief and love for this woman, who was smiling, so crooked and imperfect and yet so beautiful and loved. He rose up. "Can I- can I kiss you?" Jaime asked, rather unsure. Brienne nodded, biting her lip. Jaime smiled and leaned down, giving her a very small, very soft kiss on her lips. She pulled away and Jaime brushed her chinbone with his thumb.

He had a long way to go but he had just made the most important step.

XXX

Brienne sighed and pulled herself out of Jaime's embrace, ignoring his whine of discontent. "I have to go, Jaime. If Cersei finds out you've had me here for this long-"

"You're the only thing I care about now," Jaime groaned. Brienne stood and brushed out the creases on her tunic, hating the word now, hating the fact that she wondered when she had become the only thing he cared about. He had clearly cared about something else more when he had started to leave her at Winterfell.

Instead of bringing that up, Brienne said, "Yes, well, Cersei doesn't know that." Brienne sighed. "I have to go, Jaime, else there will be rumours. We don't want that if we want you to be honourably discharged from the kingsguard."

Jaime rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "It's you that cares if it's honourably-"

"You should care too!" Brienne protested, anger surging inside her. He was not taking this as seriously as he should. "If you have another mark against your name, Jaime-"

"You forget, wench, that, in this timeline, I've done less deplorable things. Catelyn Stark doesn't know that I threw her child out of a window. I haven't driven the Tullys out of their own home-"

"But you are still the Kingslayer." Brienne sighed. "I'll see you later, Jaime."

"When?" Jaime asked with a pout. Brienne pursed her lips and headed towards the door. He was frustrating her by not being able to see past their potential happiness. There was so much more to consider. The fate of the Seven Kingdoms lay on their shoulders. Brienne wanted to think about what they could change to make things work perfectly this time. She wanted to protect Sansa most of all and was fairly certain she could start that now.

With one final look at Jaime, Brienne unbarred the door and went to step out. "Wow, are you a giantess?" a voice said from down below. Brienne closed her eyes and let go of the door.

"Jaime," she muttered. Tyrion Lannister was standing, ready to be let into Jaime's chambers. She wondered how long he had been standing there, how much he could hear from outside. Even if he could hear nothing, he had just seen her leaving his brother's chambers, the same brother who he believed to be obsessively in love with Cersei.

Brienne felt Jaime come to her shoulder. She stiffened. "Tyrion," Jaime said levelly. Tyrion was looking between them with undisguised curiosity. "Come in. Brienne, you should probably stay a while longer."

His voice was so controlled. Tyrion stepped into the room. Brienne returned to the chair she had been sitting on, though she sat on the far end, while earlier she had been practically sat on Jaime, her betrothed. Jaime had proposed to her. Brienne could hardly focus on it, what with everything they needed to do and fix. It was not the priority, not for Brienne.

"Tyrion," Jaime said, once his brother had perched himself on the armchair across from the chaise longue that Jaime and Brienne sat. "This is my betrothed, Brienne of Tarth."

It was Jaime's priority, however.

Brienne closed her eyes for an instant and then opened them, shooting a glare at Jaime, who grinned, turning to his brother whose jaw hung open. "She's not quite as excited as I am, more practical than me," he said in a confessional tone that made Brienne want to hit him over his head.

"I-" Tyrion started before cutting himself off. "Jaime, you are betrothed?"

Jaime nodded and he reached over to put his hand on Brienne's knee. Brienne glanced down at the hand with disgust. Two-handed Jaime was far more handsy than one-handed Jaime, for obvious reasons. It also helped that Brienne was the first woman that he could touch without reserve. Thoughts like that threatened Brienne's resolve to focus on the realm. She wanted to be married to Jaime so that he could love without reserve, without hiding.

Tyrion looked between them, his jaw hanging open. "How old is she?"

Brienne had barely considered the question herself. "Ten-and-eight." She heard Jaime choke next to her.

"You are?" he asked incredulously. Brienne widened her eyes at him. She wondered if he had known that she was only twenty-and-two when he slept with her at Winterfell. "Okay, yes, sorry, of course you are. What is your point, Tyrion?"

Tyrion shrugged. "She's just rather young." Brienne and Jaime shared a look, lips twitching. In this timeline, Tyrion was less than a year away from marrying a ten-and-three year old. "And, Jaime, you have-"

"He does not," Brienne interrupted. Jaime smiled at her, brushing his thumb across her knee lightly. Brienne gave him a soft smile.

"My betrothed is right, Tyrion. Cersei can go and fuck herself, although I'm sure she'll find someone else to do the job for her, and I have plans to have Father have me dismissed from the kingsguard so that I can marry Brienne."

Tyrion seemed utterly bewildered. Brienne understood the feeling well. It was the way she had been feeling since she had woken in Tarth a week or so ago. Possibly she had been feeling that way since Jaime had arrived at Winterfell, or since she had met him even. "Jaime, I don't understand. What changed? Where did you find this woman?"

"A bearpit," Jaime replied with a serious tone. Tyrion looked horrified, as though Jaime had just insulted his betrothed. Brienne, however, felt bubbles of laughter rising inside her. It wasn't even true but it was funny and just served to confuse Tyrion even more. Peals of laughter fell from Brienne's lips and she found Jaime grinning at her, proudly like he always did when he made her laugh properly. It was similar to the way he looked when he gave her an orgasm, although, admittedly, less heated.

"Jaime," Tyrion said and his tone was rather desperate. Brienne glanced at Jaime and he just winked at her.

"We're from the future, Tyrion," Jaime said and Brienne inhaled sharply. They had not discussed this. "Last week, I woke up here and thought I was dead because, when I went to sleep, I had been at Winterfell. Last night, Brienne arrived from Tarth to figure out whether or not I had come back like her. So, here we are, four years earlier, lots of people still alive, lots of things undone and unsaid." Brienne gave him a disbelieving look to which he winked at her again. That look made Brienne's insides burn.

"You're jesting," Tyrion said, looking between them with a smile that soon fell when neither of their faces cracked into smiles. "Right, yes. I suppose that would explain your odd behaviour of late. Tell me about the future."

Jaime glanced at Brienne, who reached for him and wrapped her hands around his forearm. She nodded at him and he began to explain the future, from when they were, to when they had fallen asleep at Winterfell. Brienne listened to Jaime speak, enjoying the odd sensation of listening to parts of her own story from his perspective. He described some things in more detail than others, entirely leaving out some of Brienne and his story. He did not mention any bathtubs, for example. Brienne was rather glad. Those moments were theirs alone.

He finished by explaining his plan to leave Brienne at Winterfell. Brienne found herself turning away, tears pricking the backs of her eyes. It wasn't that she didn't understand his motivations. She even believed that he loved her. But it still hurt. Jaime reached for her and Brienne let him wrap an arm around her front, curling close to her. She took comfort from his touch, even if it was he who was hurting her. If he had let Cersei die, pregnant with his child, Brienne knew that he wouldn't have been Jaime. It just hurt so much.

Tyrion's eyes darted between them. Brienne hated the look in his eyes, anger burning inside her. He was likely comparing her to Cersei, wondering why she was the woman that finally broke him away from his sister's grip, especially now he knew that Jaime was going to leave her. Humiliation burned through Brienne and she had to break apart from Jaime, his touch suddenly unbearable. Angry tears burned in her eyes.

"What is your plan?" Tyrion asked quietly. Jaime hesitated.

"I want to marry Brienne," he said and Brienne closed her eyes. Perhaps she should just let herself have this, a marriage. Jaime was so insistent but Brienne knew they had to protect the realm. But it could take years to protect everyone as fully as they wanted to, could take years to ensure that no war started between the Starks and Lannisters. And Brienne wanted to stay with Jaime through that. It would eventually make sense for Brienne to be with the Starks, protecting them, and Jaime to be with his family. Brienne didn't want that. She wanted them to be together.

"Father will have you dismissed," Tyrion said with a nod. "You should leave for Casterly Rock immediately. I will discover whether or not Jon Arryn already knows that the children are yours, Jaime. If not, I will destroy this book that Cersei told you about. I'm sure I can find it."

Jaime nodded and Brienne felt a surge of gratitude for Tyrion. Jaime had made the right decision to tell him. Brienne wondered why he had not earlier. She reached for Jaime again, taking his hand around his wrist and he exhaled with something that sounded like relief. Brienne shuffled closer to him. She knew she was blowing hot and cold but he would have to be patient and take what was given. His other arm crawled around her back, his fingers curling at her waist. He pressed his head to her chin. Brienne smiled.

"I will go and talk to Ser Barristan about going to see Father," Jaime said to his brother. "If Jon Arryn already knows about the children, you must make sure that Littlefinger and Lady Lysa cannot kill him."

Tyrion nodded severely. "I understand what is at stake, Jaime."

Jaime nodded and then buried his face into Brienne's neck. Brienne didn't see anything pass between Jaime and Tyrion but Tyrion seemed to know that he had been dismissed. He closed the door behind him and Jaime curled his arms around Brienne. "I love you," he whispered. Brienne nodded against his head.

"I love you too, Jaime."