Deet'var/Decision (760 Grann)

I have no doubts that, after what I have done, people will start wondering why I did what I did: Betray Queen Rahna, the other pegasus knights and Silesse itself, in a way, to side with her brother-in-law, Duke Maios; leave my daughter, Misha, when she was just an infant.

A part of me was confused, too: why should I betray not only the country I live in, but the people I knew and trained alongside for years? The rest of me wanted to fight this country for easily welcoming back Prince Lewyn after he fled years ago. I suppose, in a way, these thoughts were a big factor in my own "civil war" in my head.

I knew people would think that I decided to fight against Silesse for more money and power, but in this case, that wasn't it. I wanted the chance to prove that a future ruler couldn't run at the sight of danger. I wanted this country to be safe for my daughter. To ensure that, I needed to make sure that no one would ever think of doing something similar.

While I was running those thoughts through my head, I started cleaning my lance, covering the towel with dirt. Thove could receive orders to attack at any time, so I needed to be prepared for anything.

My Miracle Band nudged my arm. It was a present from Annand, years ago, when I had just joined the Silessian pegasus knights. I smiled sadly. As much as I was angry at her or this country, and as much as Pamela was prepared to do anything, no matter what, I couldn't bring myself to hate her. Not completely, at least. And that wasn't bringing up how ironic the fact that we were now on opposite sides.

But that didn't matter, now. Any day now, I would attack Sailane with a group of pegasus knights under Duke Maios's command, and I would do what must be done to save my country, regardless of what friendships I once had.

Still, as I stood there, thinking about it, tears started filling my eyes. The thought of fighting Annand and her younger sister, Erinys, worried me. What if I couldn't kill them, like I couldn't force myself to hate any of my former allies?

I forced myself to stop thinking about it, and stopped myself from crying. No matter what, I was one of the Four Falcon Knights of Silesse, and hand-picked by Duke Maios to lead his army into battle. I was trained to stand against anyone in any army, and I wasn't going to let my country down.

"Deet'var!" I heard Duke Maios say. "Is the army ready to deploy yet?"

"Yes, sir," I said, turning in his direction while keeping a calm yet determined expression on my face. "I have received word that Bishop Cuvuli's wind mage unit has infiltrated the forests near Sailane. They await your command, sir."

"Very well," Duke Maios responded. "Relay my orders to Cuvuli: move in on Sailane! I trust your pegasus corps are already briefed on your mission?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir. Our task is clear. My squadron is to raid the enemy from above, disrupting their tactics."

"Good," he said. "Now get to work! Grannvale will owe us a handsome reward for bringing them the heads of their infamous traitors! Heh heh heh…"

With that, he walked away, laughing.

I picked up my spear and armor, and hurried to prepare for battle.

I didn't know if we'd win. I didn't even know if I could do what I had to.

But I would. As a knight of Silesse, I would save this country. I had to, no matter what.

Notes:

The reason this chapter is shorter is because there isn't a lot of information to do with Deet'var (or Pamela. Hopefully, the next chapter won't just be a repeat of this, and I'll be able to think of things to write….). I managed to find enough things to write about, though.

(Also, for some reason the lines I used to separate parts weren't showing up, so I just added a few lines in between the main story and this, and made it bold. EDIT: Now it might be fixed, but I'm not sure yet.)

Deet'var is a little OOC, but I did that because I like the idea of her showing herself to other people as someone cold and ruthless, willing to do anything for money or power, but actually being someone who cares about her daughter and doesn't want to fight, but hides her emotions. It also separates Deet'var from Pamela, which will make it easier when I write her chapter.

The Miracle Band being a present is something I got from MotHW (Memoirs of the Holy War, a fanfiction by Naryfiel Lilith), but I changed to being a present from years ago to make her nostalgic, and to not want to have to fight her (former) friends.