A/N: Anything in italics is via the TTC line (Twin Telepaathic Connection) that Simon and Grace share.
The kitchen was in a state of chaos, due to seven older children that were there. Simon and Grace were making strange concoctions, Tora was getting socks for Simon and Grace to use, Lily was jumping on the catapult that they had made. Eric was making a bomb, Chrissie was loading the catapult, Sebastian was swinging from the lights and Aggy was somehow, sound asleep. All that could be heard was screaming and shouting. And the occasional moan from Cook of course. It was then at that moment that Nanny McPhee decided to make her entrance. She stood there for about 10 seconds watching before the eldest Brown son noticed her. "Oh, look, the door's open and there's nobody there." Everybody looked at the door, feigning confusion when they 'didn't see' anyone there.
Despite this, Nanny McPhee replied calmly, "I am here. I am Nanny McPhee." Through the TTC line, a special twin telepathic connection that Grace and Simon shared, the following ensued. *Hey Grace, would you like to have some of the fun? Indeed I would brother, don't worry, I know just what to do.* And she did. "Oh, d-did somebody speak?" Eric peaked out from the table and cackled like a mad man. "I didn't hear anything." "That's because there's nobody there." This comment was hard to understand as it was said with a mouthful of bread, courtesy of Sebastian. She was doing a good job of keeping her composure, "Then listen carefully and try to hear this. You are to stop what you are doing, put the kitchen to rights and go upstairs to bed." After a few silent moments, she asked, "Did you hear what I said?" The eldest twins looked at each other and smirked. They had a plan that they were about to put into action. "I've just had an idea, why don't we play here in the kitchen all night long?" Simon smiled at her sister's idea and everyone was cheering. Once again, Eric poked his head out from his hidey hole underneath the table. "Excellent notion." It was then that Nanny McPhee took out what looked to be a walking stick from underneath her travelling cloak and started to slowly raise it slightly into the air before slamming it down to the ground.
It was like time sped up for the children as they found themselves going faster than they ever even thought possible. Chrissie, confused, shouted, "What's she done?" It was answered very vaguely by Eric but it did not answer her questions. "She's done something to us!" No one knew what was going on but, not only was everyone going too fast, but Lily had become more accurate landing everything in the pot, splashing scolding hot water onto Simon and Grace. "They went in the pot! They went in the pot!" Sebastian, now swinging from the light was starting to look green, a different green to the bomb currently being made by Eric. "I can't stop!" Again Eric stated the obvious, subconsciously annoying his siblings. "She banged her stick!" "What's happening?" "It must be magic!" Something that the Brown twins had inherited from their mother was their stubbornness as all their siblings were trying to stop but couldn't and were trying to convey that but couldn't. "We've got to stop!" "Let's stop!" "Let's stop!" "Well, stop if you want then!" Simon snapped, glaring at Nanny McPhee, sweat dripping down his now red face while his arms went round in circles in what felt like 1000mph. "We can't!" Their siblings protested but to no avail. "It's her fault! It all started when she banged that stick!" Lily was running out of things to catapult and everyone started to panic when Chrissie began to make her way over to where Aggy was sleeping peacefully. "I can't stop!" "Slow down!" "Simon! Grace!"
Chrissie then walked towards where their younger sister was sound asleep. Tora desperately wanted to rip Aggy away from her basket so no harm would come to her, but she wasn't in control of her feet. No matter how hard she tried, Tora was stuck and her sister Aggy was about to be boiled in the stockpot. While Tora openly displayed her sadness and started crying, Simon and Grace showed theirs as anger, part of this due to their stubbornness. "Come on then, whoever you are! Let's stop all this and go to bed!" *Simon, what are we going to do, we can't stop? I know sis, why do you think we can't stop? I have no idea Simon, all I know is my arms are starting to ache.* The strange woman who had ruined their fun looked at them all, "Say 'Please'." "We never say please!" The twins growled. "Very Well." As if in unison, Tora, Lily, Eric, Chrissie, Sebastian and a muffled Cook all shouted "Please!" Nanny McPhee though, wasn't satisfied and turned around and began to walk away. Tora was getting annoyed at her older brother and sister now, something which was very rare. "Don't touch Aggy!" She looked expectantly at the twins, and when they did nothing shouted, "Say it!" Unknown to anyone, there was a bomb under the table that was close to exploding. "Actually Simon, would you? Because this baby's gonna blow." "And Aggy's going to go in the stockpot!" Tora's voice had risen to an extremely high pitch as her level of panic grew. "Wait! Put her back, Chrissie!" At this moment, Nanny McPhee froze and waited for the please to come out of their mouths. "Oh for goodness' sake, 'please', then." She turned back to face the chaotic kitchen.
It turns out that Tora was not the only one panicking, Chrissie was also upset as she felt she was about to be partly responsible for boiling her sister. "Take Aggy off me!" "Stop Chrissie!" Her siblings tried to pull away from what they were doing to stop her, but found they couldn't. As all this was happening, Nanny McPhee was refusing to back down. "'Please, Nanny McPhee'." Lily was now shouting at her stubborn siblings as she found herself stepping up to the catapult. Everyone was pleading and the twins were fighting a mental battle, give in to their pride or save their sister. Simon and Grace looked at each other, not liking what they obviously had to do. They Simon nodded and they turned their gaze back to the ugly Nanny in front of them. Glaring, they said in unison, "Please, Nanny McPhee. Before they knew it, Lily jumped, Aggy went flying and Eric's bomb went off. Everyone was confused as they were suddenly all tidy, the chaotic, messy kitchen pristine and Aggy was in the loving arms of her older sister Tora. "Wow." "Up to bed, please." And with that, the 8 Brown children slowly filed out of the room to get ready for bed.
A little while later, Tora, Eric and Aggy were in the bathroom, Eric standing in the bath while brushing his teeth and Tora was washing Aggy. " Aggy," Tora began patiently, "you must be careful with that. It's the only thing that we have left of Mama." Eric nodded in affirmation when the door opened. Grace popped her head in and held back a scoff when she saw her siblings. "What on earth are you doing?" She demanded. "Getting ready for bed, it's what she told us to do." Eric sighed, dejected. "But since when have we ever decided to do as we're told?" "Since we nearly got Cook blown up and Aggy boiled." Tora interjected. "Can I just remind you of something? We've gotten rid of the last 17 nannies. We're going to get rid of this one, too." She walked out of the bathroom to talk to Simon about an idea she had.
As Nanny McPhee walked into the shared bedroom, everyone was under their covers except for the eldest two, who were both sitting cross legged on their respective beds. The layout went a bit like this: Closest to the door as you walked in, on the left was Sebastian and on the right was Aggy, the next two were Eric and Chrissie, then Tora and Lily, then Simon and Grace furthest away from the door. Simon smirked as she entered and his smirk only grew as the new nanny neared his bed. Everyone started to snicker, knowing where this was headed. Simon stuck out his hand. "Hello Nannny McPhee," he said with false politeness, "my name is Oglington Fartworthy." What he had not expected was for her to take his hand and shake it replying with a short, "How do you do?" In a final attempt before he passed it on to Grace, he tried again. "Uh, that's F-A-R-T, Fartworthy." The names only got stranger from there, 'Rowena Ravenclaw', 'Booger McHorsefanny', 'Knickers O'Muffin', 'Sandra', 'Bum', 'Bosoms' and 'Poop'. Everyone was laughing during at this point of the exchange. What was strange though, was that despite what they had said, she knew all of their names. "There is something you should understand about the way I work. When you need me, but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me, but no longer need me, then I have to go." "We'll never want you, Simon and Grace spat with equal and hatred." She then replied with, "then I will never go," and left. "How did she do that no one ever knows our names?" Tora asked, curiosity lacing her voice. "It doesn't matter. We're getting rid of her tomorrow." Grace spat and turned over to go to sleep.