Chapter Three
Diane sat on the edge of her cot, feeling absolutely awful.
A large part of that was probably to do with the copious amounts of alcohol she'd apparently consumed last night. She'd never been a heavy drinker, not even a glass of wine with dinner, but last night in the bar, something had felt different. She'd felt different. She'd felt like someone who could be a little bit more daring, someone who could take chances.
With Nick by her side, it had felt like she could do anything.
After all, no one knew her here, she could be whoever she wanted to be. The possibilities were exciting, hopeful even, and they all seemed to centre around one thing – Nick.
The kind of woman she wanted to be here in Gander was the kind who was brave enough to dance with Nick, to take his hand and tell him how she felt. To tell him that she'd never met anyone like him before and that these few days in his kind, gentle company had been some of the happiest of her life.
Unfortunately, as much as she wanted to be that woman, she was still Diane, and there was still a part of her that was absolutely terrified at the thought of being so… vulnerable with another person. And so, she drank.
And as a result, she had no memory of how she got home last night or what she'd said or done after the ceremony. Apparently she'd kissed the fish.
Maybe that explained the funny sensation in her lips – tender, a little swollen. Although maybe that was just the alcohol too.
That was part of the reason she felt so awful.
But no, the main reason for her cloud of misery was the terrifying thought that she had gotten up the courage to say something to Nick.
What might she have said?
What if she'd confessed everything, propositioned him, asked if he wanted to take the mayor up on that offer to marry them? What if she'd told him she loved him?
That gave Diane pause. She hadn't even admitted that to herself yet, and it seemed like a big step. It seemed like the sort of thing you should have sorted in your own head before you went blabbering it to the person in question.
Then another thought struck her.
Oh god, what if she'd tried to kiss him?
Was that why he was so awkward just now? There was definitely something weird, something strained in their interaction that morning. It was as if Nick had been dancing around something, something big, something he felt too embarrassed (or too embarrassed on her behalf – bless him) to mention.
She'd made a complete mess of things, hadn't she?
Relationships had never been her strong suit. She hadn't really had any meaningful ones since David's father. And that turned out to be such a bunch of roses she thought caustically to herself.
It had been foolish to think that Nick would be feeling the same as her, that this connection wasn't simply dreamed up as a coping mechanism, heightened by the drama of their situation.
After all, you've only known him three days, don't be ridiculous Diane.
Dropping down to her pillow and curling into her side, Diane felt the beginnings of tears pricking at her eyes. In fact, if she wasn't so utterly dehydrated, she was sure she would have been in floods already.
It was at that moment that a picnic basket swam into view, being grasped by one of the local ladies she'd seen around the cafeteria.
Diane sat up, rapidly blinking away her tears in embarrassment.
"Oh, don't get up, you're alright," the woman began. "I don't know if we've met properly, I'm Beulah. I work here at the Academy."
"I'm Diane, it's nice to meet you," she replied automatically.
"Do you mind if I sit down?" Beulah asked, gesturing towards Nick's cot.
Diane waved her acquiescence with a tight smile.
"Now, I hope you don't think I'm prying, but I couldn't help noticing that your Englishman friend left in a bit of a hurry this morning and I wanted to check to see if you were ok?"
One glance from Beulah's kind eyes, flitting back and forth across Diane's worried face was all it took for the floodgates to burst open once more and she let out a choked sob.
"Oh, duckie, there there," Beulah said, coming over to sit next to Diane on her own cot, with an arm around her shoulders. "What's happened, then?"
"I've… I've made a mess of everything!" Diane wailed. "We all went…went out to the Legion last night and I had a…a bit too much to drink and I don't know what I said but I think I might've told Ni-Nick how I feel about him" she hiccupped.
Beulah continued to rub her arm comfortingly, so Diane swallowed and continued.
"I mean, I know we've only known each other a few days, but I thought we had a – a connection, you know? But it turns out I was wrong and this morning he was different and now things are awkward between us and I don't think he's speaking to me."
She dissolved into another wave of tears, as Beulah furrowed her brow.
"Now, that can't be right. I mean, I've seen the way you two've been lookin' at each other. I must admit, I'd've sworn you were married already when you got here! What exactly did he say this morning?"
Diane paused, forcing herself to rethink the now painful memory with clarity and detachment.
"I woke up and he told me I'd been snoring, so that's, you know, sexy," she began with a cringe. "Then he reminded me I'd been drinking – well, we both had been. And then…"
"Yes?" Beulah prompted.
"Well, I was trying to piece together what had happened, and I remembered there being a sort of ceremony,"
"The Screech-In" Beulah offered.
"Yeah, and I was supposed to kiss a fish, but that was where my memory got a little fuzzy, so I asked him if I'd gone through with it."
"Oh darlin, don't you remember?"
"No? Remember what?" Diane asked with trepidation. "What happened? Were you there?"
"No, I was here on washing up duty," Beulah replied. "But word travels fast around here. I heard you weren't so keen on kissing the fish, so the mayor gave you an alternative. He said he'd let you off if you kissed the Englishman instead. And apparently you did!"
Diane felt a lead weight settle into her stomach. So she had done it. She'd made an absolute fool of herself and had kissed Nick. And what's worse, done it in front of everyone. He must have hated that. No wonder he was so awkward this morning. She buried her face in her hands
"Oh god, no wonder he doesn't want to see me," she moaned through her fingers.
"What do you mean? Duckie, he was delighted! Followed you around for the rest of the night like a little lovesick puppy, or so I heard," she smirked.
Diane dropped her fingers an inch or so to peer over the top of them at Beulah in cautious disbelief.
"And if he hadn't enjoyed it, then how do you explain what he said last night?" Beulah asked coyly.
"What do you mean? What did he say last night?"
Beulah pursed her lips and Diane was surprised to see a gentle blush forming on her cheeks.
"Now, I hope you won't be mad at me, but as I said, last night I was in the cafeteria on dish-washing duty. Now, the cafeteria opens out through that window over there, but there's also a side entrance that opens onto the school foyer. Where those couches are, ya know?"
Diane got the feeling there was a link she was missing somewhere.
"And…?"
"Gosh, you really don't remember, do ya?" Beulah took a deep breath before continuing.
"Well, last night you two came in late and very merry, by the sounds of things. You both poured yourselves onto one of those couches and I couldn't help but overhear. You were planning a picnic together and then Nick started talking about his feelings for you and he… oh, sweetheart, he told you he's in love with you!
He sounded nervous as anything, poor dear, and when you didn't respond – oh I think you'd fallen asleep – he came into the kitchen to get some water for the two of you. Asked about getting some picnic supplies. I've never seen someone look so smitten!"
Diane sat very still, processing.
"So then, when I asked about the fish this morning…."
"He realised you didn't remember any of the night before and I think he panicked," Beulah filled in.
The older woman patted Diane on the knee, before standing up and leaving the picnic basket beside her.
"Why don't you take this and see if you can go and find him?" Beulah offered.
Diane stood up, suddenly determined.
She had a job to do.