She leaned back on the hill, giggling as she exhaled from the joint. God, she was gonna miss this.

"Holy fuck," she said between chuckles. "We've definitely gotta make time for this whenever I'm back home for breaks."

Jonah looked down at her, his shaggy hair hanging past his brow, covering his eyes partially. "Yeah, Leen, we gotta make the time."

They were sitting at the top of a hill they used to hike up to during their lunch period. They could see their high school about half a mile down. They graduated earlier that afternoon, and were having one last outing before Harley backed up and moved out of state for university. Jonah decided to stay back a couple of years and work at Ace Chemicals to support his sisters.

She noticed he looked sad, so she pushed herself back up, wrapping her arm around his chest and resting her chin on his shoulder. "Come on, Jonah." She said, nuzzling her oldest friend a bit. "We're gonna be fine, this whole thing is gonna be fine."

He looked over his shoulder at her, pressing his lips against her hair as he did so. "I know. I'll visit ya as soon as I can get some time off." He gave her the best smile he could manage.

She leaned back a little, pressing both hands against her glossy lips and squealing excitedly. "Oh, thank god!" she threw her arms around his neck. "I was totally bluffing I don't think I could survive a communal bathroom without you there to distract the girls in line for the toliet."

She felt the vibration of a chuckle in his chest, but he cut himself off, coughing a bit. The sound was gutteral, painful almost.

"You okay?" She leaned back slightly, noticing her hands were covered in crimson. His blood.

"Harle-" he weakly raised his hand to her.

"Jonah?" she was frantic. She looked back to him, and noticed a blade sticking out of his neck. "No," she leaned forward, barely catching his head before he slumped over. "No!" she shouted, cradling his head.

"Somebody do something!" her screams shook the trees around them, her vision grew blurry. She screwed her eyes shut, willing herself to be anywhere else but here. He needed to be okay, to be alive.

"I did all I could, baby." His haunting voice pierced her mind. She opened her eyes instantly, and she was back on there, in J's club. On the balcony. She looked down, and Jonah was gone. It was just here and Mistah J.

She looked up at him dumbly. "Mistah J?" No, she shook her head. He was gone.

He crotched down beside her, gripping her chin and tugging her head in his direction. "I did all I could, Harley, and I couldn't fix you."

He stood up then, stepping aside to reveal the entire squad, their bodies stacked in a bloody heap by the door to the club.

She stood up, fumbling over her feet and almost falling as she ran to her friends. "No…" she started, her voice breaking. She looked down at herself, her dress was ripped, revealing everyone else's blood all over her, her modification glistering crimson under the moonlight.

"I didn't do this," she shook her head, kneeling down and craddling Waylon's head in her lap. "I couldn't have done this." She shook him a little bit, before leaning forward and poking Flag, neither of them moved.

"But you did," She heard Floyd's voice behind her. She whipped her head around, and he was standing a few feet back, fists balled up at his sides. He wasn't in his squad gear, just normal street clothes.

She stood up, taking a few steps forward. "Floyd, I didn't-" she stopped when she noticed he was backing away from her. "You gotta believe me."

She felt hands grasp her shoulders from behind her. "Do it," Mistah J's voice rang in her ears. His nose nuzzling the shell of her ears. "Do it, Harley. Prove to me you're still worth it."

She felt a pounding in the base of her neck, she slammed her eyes shut, shaking her head. But all she could hear was J. "Do it!" he shouted, and on pure instinct, she opened her eyes, raised a pistol from her holster and shot Floyd in the chest.

The pain in her head subsided, and she saw him collapse. "No," she started towards Floyd, but J's grip on her stopped her.

He spun her around, his hands grasping her hips in an iron grip. "I knew it, baby." He said happily. "I knew you could do it." He leaned in, smacking his lips against hers with a dramatic smooching sound.

She tried to squirm out of his grip, shouting for someone to come help. "Someone!" she looked over at Floyd, his eyes glossed over in a lifeless glaze.

"No!" she shot up from her bed, breathing heavily. She was covered in a cold sweat, and the blankets were twisted up all around her legs. Her hand rushed to the base of her neck, terrified J's programming was back there. But no, it was empty. Just as it had been since that night.

It took her a few moments to realize where she was. At the safe house. She glanced down at herself, no blood, her's or otherwise, but the modifications still shined in the minimal light from the moon out the window.

She ran a hand over her hair, "Jesus fuck," she muttered, looking over at the alarm clock beside the bed.

3:02 a.m.

"Well that's great," she grumbled, draping her legs over the side of the bed. She placed her elbows on her legs, rubbing her palms against her eyes.

What the Hell was that?

She tried to breathe evening, but the room felt too small, to hot. She was suffocating. She needed to get out of here. Put some distance between herself and an entire place that reminded her of everything she'd lost.

She twisted her waves back into a braid before she stood up and grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweater she'd left folded up on her dresser. She threw the clothes on quickly, grabbing her boots from the floor and lacing them up quickly.

She threw the door open, not considering the noise it probably made. She headed down the hall, jogging down the stairs and exiting out the back door. There was a dock at the edge of the property. She remembered sitting out there once with John-

She shook her head, correcting her memory, but shaking it harder, not wanting to relive these moments at all. She couldn't face up to what she'd done.

She felt her heart beating quicker, which made her stop along the trail and lean over, pressing her hand against a nearby tree as the other flew to her chest, her palm flush against her chest. The beats were faster than she could remember recently. Since what J had done to her, she had barely been able to feel anything at all. Her heart rate barely rose above anyone's resting rate, and the fluttering in her chest felt brand new.

She wanted to hope that maybe, whatever this was, would be ending soon. Maybe she could be normal again.

She shook her head harder at that. Normal's a setting on the dryer.

"Fuck!" she shouted into the darkness, pushing herself away from the tree. She stared at it's bark for a moment, breathing even heavier. She was finally feeling something, such intense anger.

"Fuck, fuck!" her screams reminded her of a rabid animal. She cocked her fist back and punched the tree as hard as she could. The bark crumpled under her enhanced strength, a big chunk of the tree flying off.

She winced, pulling back to see her knuckles bloodied from her outburst. She hugged her fist to her chest, her unharmed hand putting pressure over her busted knuckles. But still, she had a growing sense of hope. Maybe it wouldn't-

The searing pain of her flesh melding back together killed the thought as soon as it entered her mind. She uncovered her fist and saw her knuckles, good as new. The only evidence of any violence was her blood, still sticky from recent injury and the battered tree trunk beside her.

She traced her index finger over the blood on her hand, her blood. It was still crimson, but it didn't feel like hers. She sucked on her finger, trying to grasp at anything. It tasted the same, coppery and unpleasant, but it didn't make her feel any less alive.

She took a deep breath, considering hitting the tree until it came down. Maybe it would fall and crush her.

Wishful thinking.

She pressed on, walking to a small clearing in the short trail that lead out to a dock. She walked out to the edge, sitting down and letting her legs dangled off the side. The bottoms of her boots barely scratching the surface of the water. The once still sheet now rippling across the river. She could see the lights across the river at Gotham.

She found herself thinking of her old life, but she thanked God that J was still gone.

It had only been a dream.

"Hey," Floyd's voice pierced her thoughts.

She turned her head so quickly she wondered if it would've strained her muscles if she was still normal.

She noticed him cringe at her response. She knew it was probably at his own mistake of sneaking up on her, but she was in a sour mood since her dream, so she huffed through her nose and looked back out on the water.

Of course he was cautious around her. She wasn't even a person anymore. Just a fucking weapon. He knows what she did to-

"Hey," she said softly, cutting off her thoughts before they dragged her back to the part of her mind where Jonah lived now. She shoved his memory in a box since it happened. She wasn't about to open it now. Not with Floyd here to witness anymore of her sins.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked after a beat of silence.

She shivered slightly as the wind picked up, but she shrugged. "No problem."

He sat down, mirroring her position, but a few feet away from her. She noticed he had taken off his shoes and rolled up the legs of his sweat pants. His feet disappeared in the water.

They hadn't really talked since their conversation the other night. They read his kid's book together for about an hour, but no real conversation were exchanged. After some time, she noticed he had nodded off. She just put the book down on his nightstand and let herself out.

She'd gone out of her way not to see him since then. She hadn't seen much of anyone. Resigning herself to her room, and she had told Waylon she had a migraine when he came knocking well into the next day.

For a little while, she wasn't sure and doubted he had been counting the minutes himself, the wind picked up again, and she let out another fuckin' shiver.

She felt her face twist into a snarl for a moment, irritated with J once again.

Couldn't he have at least added a heater option? If he was gonna fuck up her body this much, it was only right he make sure she was never cold again…

"You cold?" he asked her, pulling her from her internal cursing of her ex.

She shook her head, but shivered again. She rolled her eyes at herself, but decided to try and break the tension with a joke. "You'd think if I could survive bullets, the wind wouldn't do me in." She let out a dry, humorless laugh. "Just like Mistah J to cheap out on the heating option."

She heard him snort, but she didn't have to look his way to know he probably didn't find it very funny either.

She did notice him moving though. He had leaned back, pulling his arms out of his black cardigan.

She turned to look at him then, just as his arms were wrapping it around her.

"Floyd, it's okay. I was just jokin-" she started, trying to lean away. She didn't want to cause him discomfort. She'd ruined his life enough. The very least she deserved was to shiver a bit in the night.

He shook his head at her, "Don't worry about it."

She was about to protest again, but the warmth of his body still lingered on the sweater. His smell enveloped her, and the subtle assault on her sense pacified her for a moment. She wondered if her sense of smell was heightened as well.

"Thanks," she murmured, unable to focus on anything but this feeling.

His scent was subtle, but pleasant. It made her feel safe, but something was off. She felt a weird sensation at the base of her neck, and it spread to behind her eyes. It reminded her of the woods, a long hike on a cold night…

"Harley, you alright?" he asked, but he was back with his feet in the water. If he'd leaned toward her, it wasn't enough for her to really notice.

She tried to look his way, but her vision felt disorted. She heard him off to her side, where he had just been, but something was pulling her away.

"I swear, Muffin!" she called, a tease playing in her tone.

Harley snapped her head towards the source of the sound. It was her, walking out of a tree line on a different trail. She felt her breath catch in her throat. She was watching herself.

"I'm not saying I don't enjoy the fresh air, Dollface," Floyd replied, walking out of the clearing behind her. He stopped for a moment, watching her walk a little futher ahead.

They looked like they had submitted a small mountain, at some clearing where it was just the two of them, surrounded by stars.

"Floyd-" she started, wanting to tell him what she was seeing, but her perception felt off. She looked down, and she wasn't sitting on the dock anymore. She was sitting on the rock face of wherever she and Floyd had been. She wondered if this was a memory. She looked over her shoulder, but she didn't see anyome with her.

"What?"

She turned her head back towards the scene before her.

She was standing a several feet ahead of him, standing up on a rock, so she looked like she was towering over Floyd.

He smiled up at her, walking forward until he stopped in front of her, his head coming up to her chest with their new height difference. "I was just enjoying the view."

Harley scoffed at him as he wrapped his arms around her hips, giggling as he pressed a kiss against her sterum. "I told you you'd enjoy the view! But you kept saying it would be overcast."

Floyd chuckled at her, "It still is overcast, Dollface. But I'd stare at ya anywhere." He said with a teasing tone of his own. He gave her a wink before she squirmed out of his embrace. She smiled as she lightly pushing him away.

"You'll see," she said, bending down until she was in a sitting position at the edge of the mountain. "I read about this online. We should have a perfect view of that star Bruce Wayne bought. Said it could be part of a new universe or somethin'."

Floyd walked up behind her, sitting down and spreading his legs. She looked over her shoulder at him, grinning as she scooted back into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her as close to him as possible.

He was wearing that same cardian, and she was in a sports bra and purple leggings.

"You cold?" he asked, his nose nuzzling the shell of her ear.

She nodded, "A little bit, but it's okay."

Floyd leaned back, taking off his cardigan and wrapping it around her shoulders.

She turned back again, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Thanks, Muffin."

His eyes scanned her face, a small smile creeping on his lips as she went back to staring at the sky.

"Isn't it beautiful?" she asked, breathlessly staring at the stars, now even more concealed by the clouds.

His eyes never left her. He looked as if he was studying the curves of her face. "Yeah, it is." he whispered.

After a few moments, rain began to fall.

"Harley-" Floyd started, leaning back from her a bit. "It's really coming down out here."

She looked over her shoulder at him, "What?"

"I said it's coming down out here." Floyd was really close to her now. And she was back on the docks. It was raining here too.

She blinked after a couple seconds. "Huh?" she looked around quickly, not understanding.

Was that a memory?

"Are you alright?" He had gotten up, leaning over her. It should have intimidated her. The only time J ever stood over her was when he was kicking the shit out of her. But, after whatever she just saw, she somehow knew he was standing so close to block her from the rain.

She stood up quickly, almost bumping heads with Floyd, who looked even more confused. "Shit! I'm so sorry, Floyd." She pratically ripped his cardigan off her shoulders, shoving it back to his chest.

The absence of his scent left her feeling stripped again. The fleeting memory leaving her with his clothing.

She didn't want to mention it. What if it wasn't real? She didn't want to make things worse.

But what if it had been real? It felt real…

"Let's head back." she said, forgetting why she even came out here to the begin with. Feeling foolish for walking off and even worse for not asking him why he came out here.

She walked back up towards the house, the rain subsiding a little bit under the cover of the trees.

Floyd was right behind her, "Harley. Wait," he asked, his voice sounding off. Like it was teetering on the edge of something. It didn't suit him, she decided. He sounded scared, and she fought the instinct that told her to kill whatever made him sound that way. But she felt willed that sudden sense of protectiveness away.

"Yeah?" she asked, wrinkling her nose after a cold drop fell from the canopy of leaves and hit her unexpectedly.

"Did you see something?" He asked, avoiding her eyes.

She tilted her head. "No, why?" She didn't miss a beat. Don't give him false hope, she told herself.

"You said something."

She raised an eyebow, "Oh?" Shit.

He nodded, "You said, we had a great view of a star that Bruce Wayne owned." His voice sounded so hopeful, and he finally chanced it and looked at her.

Her lips formed a small "oh," but she couln't bring herself to say anything.

They just stared at each other for awhile in the dark, the only sounds breaking up the silence was the light rain hitting the leaves above them, and the occasional cricket chrips in the woods around them.

"Was that-" she started, but cut herself off.

"A memory?" Floyd finished, before she could find it in herself to do so. He ran a hand over his face, as if he was scrubbing his expression into something more neutral. Like he didn't want to startle her with his hope and send her running back to the safe house before he had the answer.

"Yeah," he said finally. "That happened."