I'm sorry if this chapter is kinda short and not that exciting. It will get more interesting soon. But I hope you like this one anyway!
The plane ride back to France is unbearable. Emma is in a bad mood and won't stop crying and Rachel has a headache. About four hours in, Emma finally falls asleep. And once she doesn't have a crying toddler to deal with, she thinks about Ross. This turns out to be just as stressful as trying to calm Emma down.
She doesn't know what to do about Ross. He's one of her best friends. They have a child together. She's more worried about messing that up than anything else. They were doing so well before she moved. They were getting along as friends and if Ross had those feelings for her, he didn't show it.
Why did he have to wait until she moved to another continent to say anything about these feelings? That's classic Ross. He had years to tell her how he felt and he didn't mention it until it was too late. And it is too late. That's the conclusion Rachel has come to. It isn't even worth it to explore her feelings for Ross if there is no way they can be together.
And there really is no way. Rachel lives in Paris and Ross lives in New York. Rachel can't go back to New York because her job is in Paris. Ross can't come to Paris either. He has a job and a life in New York. Not to mention the fact that he has a son in New York.
But as much as Rachel tries to push the thought out of her mind, she can't help but think about what it would be like to be with Ross again. They've had a few moments in the last few years when she thought it was going to happen but it never did. She doesn't understand why it's so hard for them. Their circumstances are just always wrong. It's so frustrating! It's like the universe doesn't want them to be together. Rachel was in love with Ross when he was in love with Emily. Ross was going to ask Rachel to get back together until he found out that Joey had accidentally proposed. It's like they come so close every time but they never get there.
When they broke up for the first time, Rachel always thought they would still end up together. When Ross cheated on her, she was hurt and angry. But she never stopped loving him. She always thought in the back of her mind that after a while something would happen and they would get back together. It's not like she's still upset about the whole "we were on a break" thing. It's been long enough that she trusts Ross again and if they were to get back together she wouldn't worry about him cheating again. They've both grown as people. They aren't as petty and jealous as they were when they were dating. They would probably actually be very happy together.
But it would never work. They are much too far apart. And as much as she's starting to think she's still in love with him, she knows that it would be too hard. If they tried and it didn't work out, their relationship would be ruined. She's always been so proud of the fact that she and Ross are exes who have a kid together but they still get along. She really doesn't want to risk that. And that's why she isn't going to say anything to Ross. Monica said he wasn't planning on telling her anyway. If he isn't going to pursue his feelings, why should she? She knows it wouldn't work out and so does he.
And so, by the time the plane lands and she and Emma go back to their apartment, Rachel has decided to push all thoughts about Ross out of her mind. She has to go back to work tomorrow and she doesn't have time to deal with the drama. She and Ross aren't meant to be. In fact, he's probably over his feelings by now if he hasn't said anything. She just needs to forget about the whole thing and go back to her normal life.