Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

Facing the future as well as an unknown amount of time away from Beth was an upsetting blow. Knowing it was the right decision didn't make leaving her at Merle's any easier. It had to be the right thing. Daryl had no other options as far as he could figure. The more miles he put between himself and Beth, the more an empty cold ache seeped into his bones.

What he wouldn't give for a beer. Or six. The drunk inside of him said, what's one drink? It's been a long time, you deserve something to ease the stress. Driving through town, he slowed past the town's only bar. Through the large front window, a few patrons sat at the bar, talking to one another, or staring at the television in the upper corner. No one would say anything. Not many people knew of his struggles with alcohol once he left the army. He could easily park, go inside. Order a drink and that'd be that. Years of sobriety down the drain.

His mouth watered for that cold bitter taste.

His more logical side knew that the alcohol wouldn't fix anything. Not only wouldn't it fix anything, it'd make things worse. He sighed heavily and continued to drive past the bar.

He wanted a drink, but couldn't. He wanted Beth with him, but she couldn't be. He did not want to go back home right now either. Returning to the house wouldn't help his disposition any. The house would be dark and cold and worst of all, void of Beth.

Instead of going home, he decided to go to the hospital and check on Jesus. No sleep for the wicked, he supposed.

By the time he got to the hospital, it was late, well past visiting hours. No one batted an eye when he entered the quiet corridor that Jesus' room was down. He wore his jacket with the badge on the arm that said Sheriff. He guessed that was all he needed to get around the rules.

He quietly slipped into Jesus' dim room and to his surprise and intense relief Jesus was awake. Still out of it and groggy, but awake. The bruises on his face were turning from black to dark purple, his arm was in a sling and his leg in a cast. He smiled weakly at Daryl when he pulled a chair up next to his bed.

"Hey, lookit you. You're awake."

"I feel like shit," Jesus grumbled. He sounded weak with an underlying of defeat.

"Ya' kinda' look like shit too," Daryl chuckled.

Jesus nodded, closed his eyes as though it hurt to keep them open. "I really fucked things up this time."

"You're alive. As long as you're still breathing, it's a good day," Daryl cringed at his own words. He didn't want to skim over what Jesus might be thinking or feeling. Still, he wasn't going to let his friend beat himself up at what was probably one of the lowest points of his life.

Daryl thought Jesus had dozed back off. Eyes remaining closed, he was silent for a few moments. But then he mumbled again. "I wished they woulda' finished the job."

Alarm bells sounded in Daryl's head. "Don't talk like that. Who would keep me on my toes if you weren't around?" He tried a lame attempt at a joke. He hoped it was all the medications they had Jesus doped up on that was doing the talking, that he didn't really feel that way.

Jesus opened his eyes, looked hazily at Daryl. "Na'," he slurred. "You'll marry Blondie, have kids. You'll have plenty to keep you on your toes."

Daryl couldn't hold back the sad smile. Being married to Beth sounded like a good deal to him. He wasn't about to admit it aloud. Just yet. He'd spent so much time moving around, he never thought that life was for him. Now he wanted it with a fierceness he didn't fully understand.

"You'll have that too one day." Daryl was at a loss for what to say. "If that's what you want."

"Easy for you to say." Jesus lifted his good arm, weakly swatting at the air as though pushing the words away. "Don't you get it? That life's for you, not me."

Jesus was becoming agitated. A monitor beeped out his accelerating heart rate. "Hey, calm down a little," Daryl tried to sooth. "Just rest, we'll talk later."

Jesus opened his mouth like he had more to say but stopped himself. He sighed, drained of what little energy he had left and settled back down.

"Hey, I don't suppose ya' can get me some water? Feel like I haven't drank in days."

"Yeah, sure no problem," Daryl said, standing. He filled up the plastic pink pitcher with water from the sink set up in the wall and took it back to Jesus and held it while he took a sip out of the straw.

He mumbled a thanks and Daryl returned it to its place on the table next to the bed. They sat in companionable silence. Hospitals had a different feel at night. More desperation, heavier sadness.

"What did you mean earlier? You said you wished they would have finished the job." It was probably the heavy medications they had him on. There was something about Jesus' wording that nagged Daryl.

"Yeah, they ran me off the road. Bastards," Jesus was becoming more incoherent by the second.

"Who?" Daryl asked, his senses spiking.

It was too late, Jesus was asleep, breathing deep and evenly.

Guilt nagged at Beth for letting Daryl leave without at least saying goodbye. On the other hand, she had every right to be angry. She was just getting her life back, discovering what that meant, and he shipped her off to Merle's. Feeling angry felt rather good. At the Sanctuary she wasn't allowed anger. No one was allowed to feel anything besides Negan. Before that, she was a teenager on the cusp of adulthood. Not very anger was probably allowed there either.

But something had caused her to slit her wrist. That was a big hint that it wasn't all butterflies and rainbows before going off to the Sanctuary. Really, when was life ever rainbows and butterflies? Maybe that's what she'd been striving for at the Sanctuary. Something better? Something more akin to rainbows. Clearly, she had been way off the mark.

Either way, anger was a more powerful feeling than the helplessness that was buried just below the surface, so she'd stick with anger for the time being. She understood Daryl was only protecting her, but she wondered when was her life considered her own? When would she be able to make her own decisions?

Staying with Merle and Andrea wasn't bad. She enjoyed the kids immensely. They each had their own sweet, rambunctious personalities and being able to snuggle a baby anytime she wanted was an awesome perk.

Telling them her real name was the first thing she had to do - no more Angel, she was ready to be rid of that girl and discover who Beth was. She was worried they would think she was being purposefully dishonest. Thankfully that wasn't the case. They adjusted to the name change without so much as a mumble. They were accepting of her and surprisingly non-judgemental about her past - or lack thereof.

Merle kept to himself and kept busy doing whatever it is he did during the day. Sometimes a couple of the kids would go with him, other times he'd go off by himself, always showing back up again in the evenings in time for dinner. Andrea promised Beth he was never far off.

Andrea was tough. In a good way. She handled herself and the kids and Merle as well as an infant with ease. Beth found their life and relationship increasingly interesting. Andrea seemed like an outgoing extravert. Beth didn't peg her for being the type to be so secluded on the mountain, yet it was clear Andrea was happy here.

During dinner one evening, Merle tried to hide the look of affection on his face as Andrea told the story of how they met. Beth saw through it, just as she had at Miriam's birth, their love for one another was clear.

Andrea lived in town with her parents and siblings, the eldest of five, waiting for something to happen, something to show her what she should do next. She had graduated high school and felt her life was wasting away while she worked the cash register at the grocery store.

She caught Merle's eye on one of his supply runs to town. She was young and blonde and beautiful and bored. And according to Merle, she had "a hell of a body". He was captivated by her and unlike the other women in the town, she didn't seem to be put off by his mountain man gruff exterior. And she gave back whatever he put out there. She didn't let his sharp mouth and quick temper intimidate her. They both were the type to say exactly what was on their minds.

After that first meeting, he came back to town often in an effort to pursue her. Andrea's parents hated him even though they didn't know him and, at first, that was a contributing factor in her attraction to him. Then, he quickly grew on her. He wasn't the normal dating kind of guy. He'd take her out fishing or hunting or they'd just sit in his truck and talk. Soon he brought her up to his shack in the mountains. She saw past the run-down house he grew up in and saw the beauty of the area. The fresh and crisp air was soul cleansing. So remote and private, no one was in your business, unlike down in the town where everyone knew everyone.

Merle promised to build her a beautiful home. They could be together, raise a family. It wasn't the promise of a bigger, better house that convinced her. It was him that convinced her. He was different than any of the other guys she dated. He wasn't traditionally handsome and he didn't have a regular nine to five job. Those things didn't matter to Andrea. He didn't play games. He knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to say so. It was the way he watched her when he thought she wasn't looking. The way he would pick her wildflowers rather than spend a ridiculous amount of money on a dozen roses from the florist. He embraced her independence, rather than being scared off by it.

Andrea moved to the mountain six weeks after meeting him and hasn't looked back since.

Beth found herself quickly at ease around them and she freely opened up to Andrea about where she'd been and what it'd been like. She felt useful here. There was always something needing to be done. Her days were busy and filled and it helped to keep her mind off other things. At least a little bit. No matter how busy she kept herself, Daryl was never far off in her thoughts. She missed him. How quickly she got used to being with him, living together like a real couple.

Her mind often wandered. She found herself daydreaming what it would have been like for her and Daryl to meet by happenstance, under normal circumstances, like Merle and Andrea. Maybe at the grocery store, reaching for the same box of cereal. Or maybe they could have met at the diner. Through a mutual friend perhaps. Go out on a few dates. They could have gotten to know each other in a normal way, eventually falling in love.

In this different version of events, she would have remembered her past and shared it with Daryl. She definitely wouldn't have a madman haunting her past, threatening to ruin her future.

Jesus said "they". Daryl was sure of it. I wish they would have finished the job. He studied the report Michonne and written on the accident. It said that he had driven off the road while intoxicated. She questioned the bartender who corroborated that he'd been at the bar all afternoon. Interestingly, he also said Jesus didn't have all that much to drink.

Daryl wasn't aware of any drug or alcohol testing that had been done on Jesus when they brought him into the hospital, he made a note to ask the next time he was visiting Jesus.

Giving up on sleep completely, he found himself at Jesus' house at about three in the morning. He rented the right side of a cream-colored duplex in a nice neighborhood. The windows on his half of the house were dark. It felt empty, hauntingly quiet.

Having been transported by a tow truck, Jesus' truck was backed into the drive. Mashed and mangled so badly it hurt to look at. It was totaled, he didn't need an insurance adjuster to tell him that much. Facing him, the nose of the truck was completely dented in. That goes along with the report. It said he hit a ditch on the opposite side of the road, and flipped it onto the roof. The roof was flattened down to the doors.

Daryl had no idea how Jesus survived this crash. They guessed he was thrown from the truck since he was found unconscious a few feet away. That's actually what probably saved him.

Running a hand over the gnarled metal, he rounded the truck. It may have been totaled but the rear was not majorly damaged. The light from the streetlight was dim, so he took his phone from his back pocket. Flipping on the flashlight he ran the beam along the tailgate. Kneeling down he got a closer look at the bumper. There was a dent to the right side, much lighter grey paint rubbed off on the black bumper.

It could have been the accident that caused the grey mark and dented bumper. It could have been there before the accident. It could be from any number of things.

Andrea was right. Daryl gave Beth two days to cool down before coming to see her. She was still angry, but they remained a stalemate. He apologized and stood firm in his decision that she needed to be there and Beth made no qualms about being unhappy about being there.

The second time Daryl came back Beth was a little less cool towards him. A little. The third and fourth time he returned she appeared more resigned to the fact that she was staying there for the immediate future. Much to his relief, after shutting him out, Beth let the anger drop and allowed him back in. She was talking to him at least. Making eye contact.

It was only a matter of time before she asked about his investigation into the Sanctuary. He would have to come clean and find some way to tell her he'd failed her. It was only right he be the one to bring it up first.

The CPS investigation as well as his own, so far, had turned up nothing. Nothing. It was maddening. They'd gone through the extensive lists of people there and found only one girl to have been seventeen when she became pregnant with Negan's child. She was eighteen by the time the baby was born. The age of consent in Georgia was sixteen, leaving them little to stand on legally.

And yes, he had many wives and polygamy was illegal but Negan was not legally married to any of them anyway. In the eyes of the state, he could call all of them his wives, as long as he wasn't actually married to them.

He was also treading the fine line of what was legal and what wasn't where the children were concerned. The children were well cared for. They didn't have the latest technological device or the latest clothes, but that was not illegal. It wasn't illegal to homeschool in Georgia either, which was what they were claiming to do. Each child that Denise and Jadis spoke with seemed to know the basics, if not more, for their age.

It wasn't illegal to not file for a birth certificate for a newborn baby either. The average person did, even Merle and Andrea though they had their babies at home. They did because the child would need a birth certificate to establish identity later in life. They would need one for employment and for a social security card and many other things. The children of the Sanctuary did not even exist according to the government.

Negan knew the law well, and as Beth said, he was crazy, not stupid. It appeared Daryl did not have a legal leg to stand on.

All this being told, he put off telling Beth about the investigation leading pretty much nowhere until he felt he couldn't put it off any longer. After dinner one night, he asked Beth to go for a walk with him so he could have a smoke.

That's how it usually went. He came up when he could, had dinner - he'd spent more time with his brother and Andrea in the past couple weeks than he had in years. She said it was cold, and she was right, but he won her down, whispering in her ear that he wanted to be alone with her.

Daryl carried a kerosene lantern lighting the way as they walked through the yard. Snow was threatening in the dark night sky and the wind blew noisily through the frozen pines. Before Beth begged to go back to the warm house, he led her to the barn.

It wasn't much warmer in the barn, the wind whistled loudly through the cracks. Daryl shut the door, placing the lantern on the dirt ground. It had felt like a lifetime since they'd been alone and they wasted no time. Beth quickly unzipped his coat, her hands were hot and quick over his chest, trailing down to his belt. Her lips were warm and pliant under his. His arms wound tightly around her waist, pulling her close.

He didn't want to stop. He missed seeing her every day. He missed her in his bed. He missed her just being there. Regrettably, he stilled her hands on his belt buckle. "Beth I gotta tell you something."

She angled her head, stepped back. "What? Do I get to go home?" She asked with a sly, teasing smile.

"I, uh." He couldn't stomach crushing her one more time. It didn't feel right, she'd been through so much.

She peered up at him, waiting. Blue eyes darkened by the shadowed barn.

"I found a house," he said instead of telling her about Negan.

Chickenshit.

Confused, her brows drew together. "A house?"

"Yeah." He moved her hair away from her face with his fingers, touching her cold cheek. "It's been on the market for months. It's nice. Nothing fancy but still better than the place we live in now. Needs a little fixing up. It's minimal, I can do the work myself. After all this is over, I thought maybe I'd look into it. If you like it."

The house had indeed been on the market for a long time and he thought it'd make a good place for him. Since Beth came into the picture, every time he found himself driving past it, just out of town the opposite direction of where they lived now, he'd slow down taking a second look at it.

He wasn't planning on bringing it up to Beth just yet. Not till things were settled. But shit never seemed to be settled and it came out in lieu of telling her about Negan. He felt bad shuttling her off to Merle's and leaving her there for an obscure amount of time. He felt guilty for not doing as he promised. The house would give them something to look forward to, something else to focus on.

Beth smiled, really smiled, for the first time since he dumped her off at Merle's. "A house? For you and me?"

He nodded. Having her gone made him realize how much he wanted her in his life indefinitely. "Since you been here, all I can think about is getting all this sorted out and getting you back with me. You just gotta stick it out here a little longer, okay?"

She reached up on her toes and kissed him so hard he almost forgot he'd just lied. Well, not necessarily lied but didn't tell the full truth.

A lie by omission is still a lie.

They fucked. They didn't make love or have sex. They fucked. Quick and hard in the barn. Beth pressed against the wall, boots kicked to the side, pants pulled off. Underwear dangling around her ankle. Daryl held her by her ass as she wrapped her long legs around his waist. Pants unbuckled, dick hard, he pounded into her.

If it was an uncomfortable position for them, neither was letting on. Their bodies took over their minds. All they could concentrate on was chasing the release they so craved.

It felt good. Not just the sex, but it felt good to be with together in this way again. To be that close to her. Her sweet moans coming faster and faster. Whispering his name. He missed her, missed this. Missed her body. Missed her voice.

Her hair glowed in the lantern light giving her an ethereal look. She was in ecstasy, her head leaned back against the wood paneling, eyes closed, mouth slightly open. He leaned in, kissing her. Their tongues danced together.

Balancing her with one arm, he ran a hand through her hair, tugging lightly, exposing her neck to his mouth. He inhaled her skin deeply. She smelled familiar, like home.

It was all he could do to hang on long enough for her to come before he was able to give it up. Instead of pulling out as he normally did, something overcame him and he buried himself deeper within her and came long and hard.

When they finally returned, hand in hand, to the house, they were a little bit more disheveled than when they had left. Still a little breathless and sweat beaded Daryl's brow despite the cold wind outside.

The younger kids were in bed and the older two were at the dining room table, building a set of LEGO's Daryl had found for them on clearance at Walmart. Merle sat in his chair and Andrea sat on that sofa, nursing the baby.

"What are you all red-faced about?" Merle teased.

"Must be chilly out there," Andrea chimed in, winking at the two.

Merle bellowed out a laugh, then said to Beth, "I thought you'd be more pissed to find out Daryl couldn't arrest that prick."

"Merle," Daryl uselessly chided. He shouldn't have shared that with him. Daryl felt like he owed his brother an update on the situation. Just as he owed Beth but had chickened out.

Beth turned on Daryl, snatching her hand from his as though it burned. "What does he mean?" She asked.

Andrea sighed at Merle and got up, putting the baby on her shoulder she shooed the boys up the stairs, following them as they went complaining about not finishing their LEGO set. "You'll finish it tomorrow. Bedtime now," she could be heard saying.

Merle grumbled under his breath. "Well shit, good luck brother," before escaping out the back door.

Alone in the living room, Daryl began to quickly explain. "Just listen to me," he said calmly, reaching for her hand again.

His calmness seemed to egg her on. "Listen? I've been here two weeks now. You ain't said a word 'bout Negan."

A short while ago he'd essentially asked her to move in with him permanently and now they were fighting. How quickly the situation changed.

"I planned on telling you. I just wanted to protect you. I don't want you hurt by that man any more than you already have been."

Quickly losing her patients, she snapped, "Would you stop protecting me? I'm not the innocent little weakling you think of me as. Negan's already done all the damage to me that I'm gonna' let him do. What did Merle mean? Why can't you arrest Negan?"

"He's doing nothing illegal," Daryl began to explain. "He's a shifty son of a bitch, but he isn't doing anything against the law that I've found yet."

"And what about all the innocent kids? What about Sherry?"

"If Sherry is still there at the Sanctuary, we didn't find her." May as well get it all out in the open right now.

She interrupted him with fresh anger. "Wait! What do you mean you didn't find her?"

"When we went to formally investigate the compound, there was no Sherry there. She could have been using another name and I didn't recognize her from the few photos I've seen. Maybe she was hiding? I don't know. All I do know is that there was no Sherry, or Dwight, in the people interviewed or in the list of names we compiled."

Beth grabbed her head as the room swayed. Daryl made a grab for her but she pulled away.

"I can't believe this is my life. I thought if I left the Sanctuary things would be better." And her life had been better with Daryl. Yet here she was not with Daryl, hiding out from Negan, being the weakling she denied being just seconds before.

"We'll figure it out," Daryl tried. She didn't want to hear him.

"I'm sorry, Daryl," She unexpectedly apologized, still keeping him an agonized arms distance away. "You did your job. I'm pissed off at," she thought for a moment then said, "Me. I'm pissed off at me. I'm the fuck up here."

"No you're not," he said adamantly.

"Look at this!" She whispered in a strained tone. Showed him her wrist, ran a finger over the raised scar. "I slit my wrists. Apparently I tried to kill myself. So the way I figure it, I was a mess before I even joined up with Negan."

Daryl couldn't say he was shocked. He'd noticed the scars a long time ago. "Don't talk that way 'bout yourself," he said.

She backed herself up against the wall and couldn't pull back any further. He grasped her wrist, pulling her to him, he put his other arm around her. She let him hold her for a few seconds before pushing him away.

With sad eyes, she whispered, "I talked her into staying."

Daryl asked, pulling his head back to look at her. "Who?"

"Sherry. She and Dwight weren't sure about staying but I spouted about Negan and how good he was. And what we were trying to build. I just really liked her and wanted her to stay. I was selfish." She left out that it was questionable whether they'd be able to leave at all.

"Beth, this ain't your fault. I'm not through yet. I'll find a way to get him," he assured.

She didn't believe him. He could see it in her eyes. He could tell her it wasn't her fault a million times and she still wouldn't believe it. She'd been hurt too much.

She tried to pull away again but he stopped her. "Damn it Beth, don't let Negan come between us."

Her eyes snapped to his. Suddenly clear and bright. Determined. "That won't happen." She spoke with such certainty he almost believed her.

I googled if it's illegal to not get a birth certificate for your newborn and I got mixed answers. But there are some interesting stories out there about people who didn't get one as a child! haha

Thanks for reading. Leave a comment!