A/N: So…before we get into it a few warnings: Suicidal thoughts and speaking of suicide is heavy in this chapter. As well as thoughts of self-harm and death. If you or someone you know struggles with these topics, I suggest skipping this chapter and moving to chapter 11. There will be a re-cap in the Authors' note for what was discussed in this chapter. If you need any more help I suggest talking with a licensed counselor or for immediate help call the U.S national suicide hotline at (800) 273-8255

This is by far the most important chapter in the story. This is really when Bella's self-transformation starts and when Bella truly starts to go through and heal. The past few chapters, like some people with trauma, tend to avoid it, not think about it, push it down, etc... This is what my Bella has been doing however, with this sudden appearance of the man who broke Bella's heart, it's going to be a rollercoaster for both Bella and y'all. Trust me I cried at certain scenes. So, I warned y'all. Don't forget reviews make my heart happy and….

Enjoy!

When You Love Someone

Chapter Ten: Stone Cold

"What the hell?"

Shock ran through me, like ice water through my veins. If my heart were still beating it would have been racing. I flipped my hood backwards to reveal my face, tendrils of my hair breaking free, and resting on my shoulder.

"Edward" I repeated looking at him from a distance from the doors, my hands balling into fists, my mouth opening and closing trying to find the right words to say.

Rage, anguish, and confusion crashed on me so fast I could barely keep track of them all.

He just stood there looking at me, his mouth a thin line until a sneeze broke the quiet tension and my focus shifted to the human girl behind him.

She's about medium height, around the same height as me except I'm an inch lower than her, her blonde hair is tied in a loose braid and her green eyes are red and blotchy. She has spotted freckles along her nose that spread to her red, tear-stained cheeks and her chapped white lips were open in a gasp as she looks at me, her eyes holding terror, determination, love, and guilt.

Edward looking behind her and staring back at me with the same guilty expression I immediately knew who she is.

The guilt was all the confirmation I needed.

"This is your mate," disbelief my voice ringing like bells in the quiet room. As I took one step closer, on instinct Edward pulls her one step back.

At his reaction I stopped and let out a scoff and rolled my eyes, putting my mouth in a hard line. "Oh, would you stop that. I'm not going to hurt her" crossing my arms, venom, and bitterness in my voice. "I would think you know me better than that," I said quietly, hurt leaking though as I avoided his expression looking at the wall.

"What are you doing here?" I asked scathing, glaring at him as he stands straight, putting his mate further behind his body as Aro coughed to get our attention.

It isn't until then did I remember we had an audience and gritting my teeth, I felt Felix's hand on my back leading me to the front of the steps where I stood beside Santiago in the front of Aro's chair as Felix took his place next to Dimitri further up.

It took everything I have to stay quiet as Edward stared at Aro with an unreadable expression as his face while Aro clapped his hands and looked at all three of us with a huge smile.

"Ah, young Edward, here again, except this time with another human in tow! Tell me, what is your fascination with humans hmm? Why I can understand it with our dear Bella here" He said waving his hand toward me and I clamped my lips shut while balling my fists. "For her amazing gift, have you also found another gifted human as well? Are you so lucky to have found another treasure?" He asked gliding down the stairs as Edward steps fully in front of the human while she shrank back, her eyes darting around the room with her gaze lingering on me. I didn't look back.

"May I?" Aro asked handing out his hand towards them while Edward had his mouth set into a grim line.

"Okay," The human says quietly stepping around Edward as his arm shoots out to hold her waist as she throws her hand towards Aro.

"I don't know if I have a gift or not, but we came here to see you and mainly to see Bella." Her voice was quiet and shaky, her fear showing through as she looked at me, with tears running down her cheeks. Aro, never one to miss an opportunity, grasped her hand as his eyes closed in concentration.

Quirking one eyebrow I looked to Edward who seemed agitated at her outburst and with Aro so close to her. He sighed and stood by her side when suddenly Caius interrupted

"It doesn't matter what you want, you insignificant girl! Aro this is absurd! Two humans! Death should have come to the first one when we knew and only by our order did they comply, but no more chances for the second! We were lenient with you the first-time boy!" Caius snarled as Edward growled and pulled her back from Aro's grasp as she shrunk away from them, hiding in his back.

"Now, now brother calm yourself. She will be changed by next summer, but they came at their own risk to seek aid from our dearest guest." Aro stood back with a smile and pointed to me.

"Quiet a request indeed however I will grant your wish for privacy. Our laws will not be broken, her change will come. Isn't that right Edward?" Aro looked to him and with a reserved smile he spoke for the first time.

"Yes, she will be changed but due to appearances, it will have to wait until the winter. By then every loose thread will be tied. Astrid's change is guaranteed." He said strongly, never wavering, looking at each King in earnest.

Satisfied with his answer Caius begrudgingly mumbled an order for her change while Marcus simply nodded his head. Aro clapped his hands while nodding his head in the final agreement.

"Well brothers this has been an entertaining evening, but I believe the rest should be handled in Ms. Bella's delicate hands. This order will commence. Miss Astrid's change ordered. I do invite you both to recover here in our humble home for the night. Bella – "Aro said looking at me, giving me an odd look "Will escort you to your rooms. I do believe you have much to catch up on" Aro said with a smile and a nod my head, I looked at them both before the court was adjourned.

Trying to keep my cool I nodded my head towards the hallway behind me "Edward, Astrid" I grit out, trying to be pleasant "If you would follow me" I said turning my back.

"Bella, wait! Please!" Edward asked and in a flash he's beside me, his human trailing behind him awkwardly avoiding us and instead of looking at the artwork on the walls. Edward his hand in hers began to speak so quickly that she wouldn't be able to hear.

"I know this is a surprise" He started

"You think?" I said sarcastically, not daring to look at either of them.

"Bella I'm sorry, okay, I wouldn't have come here. I wouldn't even have brought her if it wasn't important" He explained, running a hand through his hair, a habit I knew he did out of stress or nervousness.

"Yeah it seems you say sorry a lot for someone who keeps doing shit" I bit out before opening the heavy door of the guest room. One very similar to mine when I first arrived. I walked in first while I heard a quiet "thank you" from Astrid.

I ignored it and instead focused on Edward, something I knew she noticed and without a word settled herself on the bed, placing herself nearest to Edward while I stood by the door.

It was a tense few moments as Edward, obviously looking for something to say, opened and closed his mouth. With a roll of my eyes and growing impatient, I growled out "What do you want Edward?"

"Actually, it's what I want," Astrid said quietly. Looking over, the girl stood and bravely walked until she was in front of me, her arms by her sides as she set her jaw. Her eyes a mix of determination and desperation.

"I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now. I know that I'm partly responsible for why you're here in the first place." She said shakily, as she looked me in the eye "And I know that you must hate me for stealing something that you felt was yours. I just want you to know that I would never go after someone that's not mine, not ever!" She said fiercely, tears in her eyes "but I couldn't control this, Edward couldn't control this. It just happened." She said quietly and pursing my lips I looked toward Edward who nodded his head and balling my fists I took a step back. Steeling myself from the onslaught of emotion. I was determined not going to get into this right now.

"I don't care about that," I said icily, glaring at Edward as she shrank back from my hostility, as Edward came and took her in his arms.

"What's done is done. It can't be changed. It won't be changed, and I seriously doubt you both came all this way to give me an unneeded and frankly unwanted apology. You come here, with no warning, which was not appreciated by the way. So please, if you don't mind, tell me what it is you want so you can both go." I said stone-faced, crossing my arms.

"Bella" Astrid began"I realize what I'm asking is crazy and you strike me as the kind of woman who doesn't care for flattery but instead just straightforwardness so here it is," the determination coming back full force as she stood tall.

"Edward told me you possess a gift, a shield of sorts. He's told me what you can do, and the kinds of abilities shields can do. I wanted to meet you in person, I wanted to ask you in person since I don't believe this should be made over a phone call. I'm sorry for the short notice but we had to leave fast. Time is of the ensconce you see." She said wringing her hands together "My mother is sick. Really sick." She whispered, tears coming back to her eyes "She has early-onset dementia and advanced pancreatic cancer. She doesn't remember much anymore. I don't think she knows about her cancer at all. We're just trying to make her comfortable. In fact, she won't be around much longer" Her voice broke at the last word and even through the steely resolve I had, I couldn't help but feel for the girl in front of me.

"What I'm asking, I know is a lot, especially for you, I know its incredibly selfish, but I have to try you know?" looking me in the eye before taking the chain around her neck, pulling it free to reveal a beautiful, old fashioned engagement ring.

I hold in a gasp as she rolls it in her hand, looking back at me with tear-filled eyes "We want to get married before I change, but my mom won't be there. I mean she will physically but not all the way. Carlisle says there's very little he can do but he knows the power of a shield and if you can – " She takes in a shaky breath looking back at me "if you can shield that part of her brain just enough for her to see me get married, see me be happy and for me to say goodbye I will be in debated to you more so than I already am" She pleads with me, her hand grasping the ring around her neck.

I know that ring. It was Edward's mother. I knew he kept it, we even talked about me possibly wearing it if the time ever came but I know it was never meant for me.

Seeing her delicate hand grasping it, I know it would be a perfect fit on her finger. A perfect fit just for her, or should I say just for him.

I closed my eyes, the warring feelings inside me tumbling like a great stormy sea, crashing down and raising up. The evil thoughts inside, telling me she deserved her mother not being there, but I squashed it down.

What kind of person thinks that way? What kind of person would I be if I turned her down? This small, innocent human girl who I knew isn't responsible for my unhappiness, yet I knew without her existence most of my problems wouldn't' exist either.

Yet that's cruel thinking and I know I would give almost anything to still have my own mother. Cancer is a horrible disease, long and torturous or quick and swift to take, but it takes. It takes and takes until there is nothing left.

Looking into her weepy eyes I know she knows that pain. The pain I felt, and still feel when I wish my mom was here and that desperation to take it away and cure her of everything. Even if it means taking it on yourself.

So, in frustration, I take one final look at them "I can't promise anything, my shield isn't developed enough but…I'll do my best." I said as her blinding smile lit her face.

"Thank you! Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me!" She exclaimed, the tears returning.

Facing her I say "Actually, I do," I said gravely and shifting my eyes to Edward who had the faintest smile on his face I whispered under my breath "Meet me in the courtyard in an hour" and seeing his nod I excused myself and quickly make my way down the hall

Releasing a long breath, I slid down the door and stared blankly at the wall.

What did I just do?

Oh my gosh.

Feeling tears on my eyes I continued to look, hoping that if I stare long enough it will help me make sense of this new predicament.

Jacob I could handle, he would be mad, livid but I knew what to expect from him. He was safe.

Edward wasn't. He wasn't safe, not even from the day I met him.

What am I going to do?

Walking to the courtyard, I felt the slight breeze as the sun started to set, twilight emerging. This was always Edward's favorite part of the day. I sighed and leaned against a pillar, I closed my eyes as I listened to the sounds around me. Waiting for that unmistakable walk.

Hearing the crunch of leaves, I opened my eyes to see him approaching, his hands in his pockets and hair shining like a penny.

"Edward," I said in greeting

"Bella," He said "I know we have a lot to talk about, but I hoped to start off with my apologies again. I know you said you didn't want them, but I can't imagine the position you must be in right now."

"Yeah, well, you do have that right, you can't imagine it," I said softly moving past him and walked towards the woods I nodded my head towards the woods and as he followed, I picked up my pace to a run.

"Edward what are you doing here?" I asked softly

"Bella, Astrid needs – "

"That's not it and we both know it!" I interrupted, yelling "You and I both know my shield is not strong enough for that. It's barely a shield! I don't have the first clue to do something like that! I mean fuck! Edward, what's the real reason?" I asked wildly

"Bella, believe it or not, that is the real reason. It just happened to line up." Edward said gravely "Look, Alice saw something okay? Whatever you did in the last few days altered everything. Bella, we're here to help you."

"What?" I asked

"I don't know what she saw, she covered it up before I could see anything, but it did involve you Bella and…it wasn't pretty. Jacob coming here would be a really bad thing right now. You must believe me on that. So, I convinced Jacob to let me come in his place and it just happened that Astrid's request was perfect timing."

"Wait a minute, you visited Jacob?"

"Yes, and he wasn't too happy to see me." He answered grudgingly

Letting out a breath and as I saw Edward's somber face, it clicked.

"You know don't you. What I'm doing? Alice saw my death, didn't she?" I asked quietly and seeing Edward's eyes shift I snapped.

"Edward answer me! She saw me dying, didn't she? She must have because why would you come if not for something drastic?" I asked looking away

"Bella you saved my life that day, I was at my lowest, I thought you were dead, you came to help me and now I'm trying to do the same. You saved my life and now I want to help save yours." He said somberly

"HA" I let out a bitter laugh "Save me? Didn't you already repay your debt? When I jumped and you saved me on the beach? Didn't you repay it then? Because I think you did, so Edward don't worry. Your debt is repaid so you can leave now with your precious Astrid and I'll be here dealing with own problems. So not to worry you, but I got it" I said bitterly and turned

"Oh, and by the way" I said turning to see his stormy expression "I'll still honor her request, I may not like her, but I won't do anything to purposely hurt her. Unlike some others, I know well" I bite out and stalked away before I heard Edward's angry voice stop me in my tracks.

"Oh, would you shut up Bella"

Turning shocked at what he said he continued "You know you have a lot of nerve to assume I don't care about you, you know that? You tell me to follow you out here and then rip me out for what? For finding a mate, or for saving your life when you were so obviously trying to end it? Or even better for trying to help you in what is clearly over your head!" He yelled, fuming

"Yes, Alice saw you die. You died by fire Bella, you died because that dog would have come and something about him coming tipped them off and you died. So, forgive me, Bella, for stopping that. Forgive me Bella for finding my soul mate but still loving you in the process. Forgive me, Bella, for still caring."

Shocked, Edward took a few steps closer to me "Bella, despite what you think I didn't come simply for Astrid. I came because I care about you and I don't want you dead. I do love you, Bella Swan, and the reason you are so angry with me is that you still love me too. It's the same love you have for the family I'm sure. Why your so angry with all of us and why you haven't even called." He finished quietly.

"Do you blame me? After everything? I mean Edward it was like you tossed me to the side! Not to mention your family helped you hide it! Hide her! You didn't trust me with the truth! You didn't even give me the decency of a proper explanation you just left! It was like a repeat of last time, except worse! I have a right to be angry and don't you dare try and make me feel guilty about it!"

I looked back to Edward's face, his somber eyes meeting mine "Charlie died, Edward, he died trying to protect me. When you left, when everyone left, I had Charlie. He was the one stitch keeping me from unraveling." Tears started to enter my eyes as the memories returned.

"The screaming, the confusion, her smile. Her revenge was completed Edward, she took something away from me as we did to her. She wanted me to see it, she wanted me to know how much pain he was in. She wanted him to suffer." I whispered.

"When Jake came, it was too late. She was finished and I was the one who carried his body inside. He was cold, his eyes were open, and he barely had enough time to tell me it was okay. That he was okay!" I screeched, finally letting it out

"Jake dragged me away, do you remember that?! Huh! You came and I was broken, crumbled into a ball on the floor watching the only family leave this world! You know I was constantly told that you were my family! That all of you loved me! Well if you loved me where were you!?" I hissed out as Edward bowed his head

"Edward, damn you answer me! You never answered this question, I knew where you were but damn it, Edward, I need to hear it from the horse's mouth! Were you with her? Were all of you with her on that night?!"

"Bella, I – "Sighing and looking away he reluctantly nodded his head and I hissed out a breath, the anger rolling in my stomach coming back up and I threw up blood. Retching sounds pierced the air as cold hands held my hair back.

"Don't touch me!" I said weakly, pushing his hands back with little strength.

"Bella, I'm sorry, we didn't know, we thought it was safe, that you were safe, that everyone was safe. When Alice saw it, Bella please believe us we tried to make it but – "Edward's words stopped short as he stepped back. None of his words could make what happened better. Nothing could make that tragedy better.

"It wasn't! You know, when you all arrived and comforted me and told me it was going to be okay, I didn't believe you" I said, glaring at him

"I don't believe you, even now, months after that I got better, if only because I knew it was going to be better for me. That I was going to be with them again. Mom was heartbreaking, but at least with her, we were prepared. She wasn't going to be hurting but Charlie? My dad! He didn't have that mercy and if it wasn't for me, he would still be here." I said, clumping grass in my fists as I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder.

"Bella that wasn't the answer and you know it," he said gravely

"Wasn't it?" I yelled, jumping and facing him

"I would be better, that I at least know, I wouldn't be here, questioning everything, possibly being hunted by a murderer! You know there was always that little bit of doubt that I'm crazy and Didyme did die in that field but if what your saying is true, then I'm right! In fact, I'm probably right about a lot of things, but who said I wanted to be! Who said I even wanted this! Who said I even wanted to be alive!" I screamed out

"Bella!"

"Oh, don't 'Bella' me! You know if you would have let me go that night none of this would be an issue! You and Astrid would be fine without me in your way! None of you would even bother to get involved in this and everything would be fine!" I yelled wildly

"Bella, damn it, would you stop with that shit!" Edward roared, his eyes blazing with anger

"You don't mean this; I know you don't! You're just overwhelmed and quite frankly, hurt, because of what we did! I get that! Okay, we weren't there, we let you down in the worst way possible but damn it, your life is worth saving!"

"Oh, you can suddenly read my mind now! What a relief, oh Edward Cullen, you hero! You saved me! What a terrible fate I would have endured! It would be awful to suffer knowing your mate, the love of your life, was so selfish to pursue something he wasn't 100% sure of and that a loving father lost his life for no reason and that when trying to escape from all the drama I could have found myself in a more than millennia mystery! Oh, thank you for sparing me!" I bite out sarcastically.

"Damn it! Bella! Would you shut up and listen to yourself! What happened to you!" He asked brokenly

"Everything" I whispered

Sighing, Edward slumped his shoulders and seeing the sun peeking over the hills turned to me

"Listen, Bella, it's obvious nothing I can say is going to help you, but I am trying to help you. Not because of guilt, or because of some debt but because I genuinely love you and care for you. So, I'll leave you alone for right now but, Bella, please, come back to Forks. Not for Astrid but for you as well. See Jake, see your pack and see your family. I hope you know how loved you are Bella"

Letting out a scoff I whisper with my back turned to him "I told Astrid I would come, and I would try, I seriously doubt I can be of any help, but I'll try,"

"Thank you, I know she really, really appreciates it," Edward whispered

"Oh, and just so the record can be clear," I said turning and standing in front of him "I'm not mad at Astrid. I don't blame her for any of this. Sure, I don't particularly like her, but that's not her fault. I'm pissed with you. I blame you. Not for the mating bond, because that can't be helped, I understand that. Hell, I don't even blame you for Charlie or the mess I'm in now, because that's on me" I whispered

"However, I do blame you for everything else. I blame you" I whispered looking into his eyes.

"I know, I blame myself too" He whispered, his eyes looking into mine and at that moment, I saw torment, love, and fear. It was so strong I had to look away.

"Here" He said putting a piece of stiff paper in my hand "These are the tickets you're going to need for tonight for the flight to Seattle. Astrid and I will leave this morning, that way you can have some distance on the plane." He said quietly

Looking down I counted three and looking up I gave Edward a look of confusion. "Edward, in case you haven't noticed, I'm only one person."

"Alice," He said before giving me a small smile and running back to the castle, leaving me with my thoughts.

Returning to the palace I was greeted by Dimitri who smiled as I walked into the game room with Felix. "Hey Bells, you just missed you're, uh, guests," He said looking uncomfortable.

"Yeah, um, I had a conversation with Edward before they left, I knew they were leaving early," I said standing against the wall.

"Are you okay Bella?" Felix asked, concerned

"Yes, I'm okay, it was just, it was a, um, it was a difficult conversation, but it needed to happen. Do any of you happen to know where Jane is? I tried looking for her in her room, but she wasn't there" I asked

"Uh, yeah, I think she's in the gym." Dimitri supplied

"Perfect, thanks guys, I'll see you later," I said, distracted, leaving and walking down the hallways, my feet softly leaving an echo.

Did I really mean what I said? Is it better to be dead than alive right now? I mean I guess I don't have a choice now but if I could back, would I choose to die?

I don't think so, I was just angry, but the thought is appealing. Leaving everything behind and not feeling anything. Of course, faith says something different, eternal fate in fire and everything. Mom was devoted to the stuff and I know I have my faith from her but it's so tempting. I mean I can't believe because that means mom and dad aren't in a good place and I won't accept that. How could they not be at peace in their happy place? They were so good. Too good for this world. Maybe that's why I didn't die because death was too good for me. Because a half-life is better suited for someone like me.

I couldn't save Charlie; I couldn't even save myself. Why would I think I can save the legacy of a woman I don't even know? Is it worth it anymore? I don't know. I feel like I don't know anything anymore.

I sighed and turned around, Jane doesn't want to hear this I'm sure. I don't want to burden her with this; these are my problems, not hers. Not anyone's. Feeling the tickets in my pocket I closed my eyes and release a breath through my nose.

Would it even be worth it to go back? What would be the point? Maybe Edward was right, Jake coming here was a bad idea and I can't put him in danger. It was selfish and stupid, and I won't do that to my friend.

Feeling a buzz in my pocket I take out my phone to see a text from none other than Alice:

Come to home Bella, even if you think its pointless, I know Jake misses you and wants to see you. So, if you won't come for you, at least come for your pack.

Sighing and shaking my head I place it back in my pocket. Welp, at least I know Alice is looking out for me. Although I don't know if that's good or bad because quite frankly my feelings for Alice were more confusing then Edward, and I really didn't want to go down that rabbit hole. Either way Jake would be upset if I didn't come home.

He was so sad on the phone when he hadn't heard from me. I can't do that to him. Sighing I walk in the direction of Aro's chambers and knocking once I step in to see a smiling Aro.

"Hello my dear, welcome! What brings you on this beautiful morning?" H asked and smiling softly I know he knows.

"Aro, I assume you know what I'm going to ask?"

With a small smile and chuckle he nods his head "So, you agreed to the Cullen boy's request? I must say, I'm a little surprised dearest, Bella. You do know it's for his mate, don't you?" He asked with a small glint in his eye.

I bristled slightly and nodded my head "Yes, he told me everything. With all due respect as much as I dislike Edward now, it wasn't her fault. She had no responsibility in this, the mating bond is simply too strong once its accepted and humans are far weaker than we are when it comes to emotions. I should know" I said with a small smile.

Laughing lightly, he said "Of course, well I am happy to know that you seem to be taking this in stride. You are a strong woman, especially for helping them as you are. I didn't know your shield was this developed already?" He inquired with a raised eyebrow and at that, I let out a laugh

"It's not. I just gained control of protecting myself and just learning how to cover someone else physically. What they requested is far more advanced than what I can do, but I promised I would try. For her." I said strongly looking his face on.

"Of course, of course, well Carlisle did work closely with Eleazar for a few centuries, so I'm sure he can help you with your gift. When you return, I look forward to any progress that was made" he said looking excited. "To see you at your full capacity would be a sight indeed. You would be very powerful." He whispered and looking back to me with an excited spark in his eye he asked me "So, when are you leaving?"

"Oh, um, I think tonight," I said pulling out the tickets.

"I see, ah, normal for the Cullen's always immediate. Well, I hope you have a nice trip and Bella since you are technically a guest would you be terribly inconvenienced if two of my guard were to escort you? For my own curiosity? There is to be a wedding on the shapeshifters territory, and I am ever so curious about them" He asked bouncing his seat.

"A wedding?" I said surprised

"Ah, yes, my apologies, I do remember it was supposed to be a surprise to you. A certain Sam Utley and Emily Young are to be wed? Young Edward was hiding it from you and planned to tell you when he spoke to you. I'm guessing he didn't get the chance" He said smiling apologetically.

"No, he didn't, yes I know exactly who they are; he's actually more of a brother to me so I can see why he wanted to surprise me but I'm glad it's not a surprise anymore, that way I know what to pack," I said lightly

"Splendid! Thank you for honoring my request and of course, it's up to you who you choose to accompany you. I'm sure you must have certain names in mind" He said laughing.

"Yes, I must admit I was planning on asking Jane and Alec. I have grown rather close to both during my stay" I smiled back.

"Of course! Of course, well have fun and wish the newlyweds well from me and oh! I have the perfect gift!" Aro said and standing going over to the large armoire in the corner of the room, pulls out a rather large gold necklace, with a golf ball-sized diamond hanging from the thick rope.

"Here, let them do with this what they will. From what I gathered they are not as financially stable as the Cullen's and that is no way to start a life together! This should help them start a good nest egg! My gift to them" He said handing me the necklace and shocked I say

"Thank you, Aro, and not to be impolite but this is such a generous gift…" I trail on with Aro shaking his hands

"Oh, my dear, because it is a gift! I am the richest being in the world! The silly necklace means nothing to a man like me but will mean everything to people like them. Plus, consider it a peace offering and the beginnings to an alliance between us and our new American shapeshifter allies." He declared and laughing I nod my head goodbye.

"Thank you, Aro," I say before closing the door once again and head to my room.

I should have known it would be more than a simple 'gift'. Laughing softly to myself I can only imagine their faces when they see something like this. Hell, my eyes almost bugged out of my head when I saw this diamond. Packing it lightly in my carry on. I look at my journal and pursing my lips throw it in there as well. It has all the information from Didyme's books and if I ever get a chance alone, I need to take advantage of it.

Screw if it's worth it if it is then at least I'm giving myself that chance.

Packing a few more clothes and necessities I hear a knock on my door and opening it I find Jane and Alec with bags in their hands.

"Whoa, I guess you already know huh?" I smiled sheepishly as Jane grinned

"Aro sent for us shortly after you left and told us are the newest assignment, although I think this is more of a glamorized vacation. I haven't been to a wedding in so long! At least a few centuries!" She said excitedly with Alec smirking lightly at Jane.

"Janie has never seen another species wedding custom so; this should be different," he said very factually before turning and walking down the hallway.

"Tsk, Alec you don't have a romantic bone in your body, do you? It's more than 'customs' plus these people are important to you, aren't they?" Jane asked as I swung my backpack over my shoulder and walked with her. Alec shaking his head in front of us.

"Yes, um, Sam is like a brother to me. I've known him since I was a kid and Emily has grown to be a good friend. I'm excited to see them marry. Finally. They've been together for years, but I know with the wolves it was hard to become stable but now that everything is stabilized, they can finally marry." I explained

Boarding the private jet, I picked a seat near the window while Jane and Alec made themselves comfortable. Feeling takeoff, I let my mind wander to what could be waiting for me.

No doubt I would have to be around Edward and Astrid for a good amount of time and that would include the rest of the Cullen's. Is my shield even that advanced? I mean if I even attempt it and something goes wrong? I can't even think of it.

Plus seeing Jacob and Leah and the rest of the pack, I mean it would be nice to seem them, I just hope that I'm the same, Bella. Although I don't feel like the same Bella. I just want to celebrate Sam and Emily and hopefully not be around Edward and Astrid's wedding. I don't think I'm strong enough for that.

Biting my lip, I shut my eyes and try to think about something else. There's always Didyme but that's a can of worms I'm not opening when I'm trying to relax.

Feeling the seat next to me shift, I sigh and keep my eyes closed.

"You know, for someone who agreed to help her ex, you seem the right amount of anxious I thought you would be," Alec said

"Yes, well, what was I supposed to do? Say no?" I asked cracking my eyes open and seeing his face.

"Well, in theory, you could have, but knowing you, that wasn't an option was it?" He asked

"I did think about it" I admitted

"So why didn't you say no? You would have been in the right to do so" He asked, his curiosity coming through.

Sighing, I sat up and turned to him "Because it wouldn't have been right. Yes, I would be in the right but that doesn't make it right, now does it?" I asked "Besides, going back home, I'm doing it more for me. I mean I wouldn't miss Sam and Emily's wedding for anything." I said half heartily, shifting my eyes away from his gaze.

"Your lying again," He said blatantly

"No, I'm not," I said, scowling lightly

"And now, your lying to yourself," He said

Rolling my eyes, I slumped back in my seat and faced the window. Seeing his reflection, he shook his head and scoffed "Bella, come on, look it's obvious to everyone on this plane that you're not happy about going back. The most helpful thing you can do is at least admit it to yourself and stop making excuses for it. You're pissed. Accept it. It's okay to be mad" He said, facing forward.

"Fine! I'm mad, is that what you want to hear?" I asked, frustrated

"Well, partly, I mean it's a good start anyways"

Blowing a raspberry, I shook my head "Look, I just don't know what to expect and I'm trying to keep my mind positive. There's nothing wrong with that" I said defensively.

"Normally you would be right but, it's not healthy. Take it from me, I avoid feelings because frankly I don't like them, but I also know if I don't deal with them there going to make themselves known in one way or another." He warned

"So…you're a pot calling a kettle black?" I asked looking at him

"In a way, look, I just know that this isn't going to be easy for you and I also know that this – "gesturing to me "is not helping you." He said

"Alec's right, Bella," Jane said from her seat and in a blink of an eye she was in the seat behind me, her arms on top of my headrest.

"I heard from Dimitri that your talk with Edward wasn't that great. He said you looked, and I quote "like she got fucked up"

"Dimitri said that?" I asked turning towards her, my eyebrows scrunching together

"Plus, Felix, my point being, you're not good at hiding how you feel and we both know how your feeling now which nothing short of anger, sadness, and anxiety," Jane said her voice pointed.

Sighing I looked down, my hair covering my face. Biting my lip, I looked back up and said "Your both right, okay I'm struggling with this. I mean it was a shock, to see him there, after all this time. Especially seeing him with her. It hurt but mainly it just cemented everything. It's not that I'm jealous or anything but that I was so easy to replace. I was his amber but she's his gold. I'm trying to be happy for them because anything else feels so awful, but I guess, it hurts knowing that I was always second. Even when I was equal to him, to them, I was never enough, and it feels that I may never be enough for anything." I said quietly, my hair covering my face as I turned towards the window.

"Oh, Bella, I – "Jane started but with a look from Alec, she closed her mouth.

"Jane, do you mind if I have a moment alone with Bella," Alec asked tensely and with a look shared between the two, Jane nodded and left to the front of the plane giving a sense of privacy.

"Look, Alec before you say anything, I know it's not true and that I am good enough and everything. It's just this is where I am right now and I'm trying really hard to get my headspace out of that, but I've heard it before, you know?" I said softly

"Well that wasn't what I was going to say but okay, I'm glad you at least know it's not true," Alec said, still tense.

"Then what were you going to say?" I asked, slightly curious now

"Well, I was going to say was fuck the Cullen kid. I know you may defend him Bella, but it wasn't right what he did, though I'm sure you know that. What I was going to say was I'm glad you're feeling this way." He said boldly

"What?" I asked shocked "Your happy I feel worthless," I asked hurt leaking in my voice.

"No, I'm not happy you feel worthless, I'm actually pretty pissed that you were made to feel that way. What I'm happy about is that even though you feel this way, you at least know what it is and that even though it doesn't feel good now, your healing." He said, his eyes intense and his face close to mine.

I could see the fire in his eyes; the honesty and the anger. It made me feel a little better seeing his genuineness in his eyes. Smiling softly, I say a quiet "thank you"

"Yeah, don't mention it," He said stiffly before moving to the front of the plane and looking out his own window, looking deep in thought.

After a pause, I said quietly to him "You know for someone who says he's not good at relationships or friendships; you're doing exceptionally well."

"Yeah, well, I've had some practice that I learned a great deal from." He said cryptically before turning away and looking back out the window.

Before long I heard Jane from the front with the news, I've been dreading this whole flight.

"We're now in Seattle. Bella, it's time to go."

Stone cold, stone cold

You see me standing but I'm dying on the floor

Stone cold, stone cold

Maybe I don't cry I won't feel anymore

Stone cold, baby

God knows I tried to feel, happy for you

Know that I am, even if I

Can't understand, I'll take the pain

Give me the truth, me and my heart

We'll make it though

If happy is her, I'm happy for you

Stone Cold: Demi Lovato

A/N: Whew! Dark chapter but Bella's headspace is dark right now. We have officially landed in Seattle and that could mean so many things. Everyone is going to be in the same room since prior to the second chapter of the story. It's going to be good! So, grab your popcorn and tissues and get ready for a showdown. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think! I always try and respond as fast I can, and it helps me write the characters better so Review, Review, Review!