You guys are the best! So many great comments and support, I have been writing non-stop. Thank you! Please, keep them coming! I have had many comments of people saying they look forward to updates, but I love getting the alerts of your comments!
A bit of a building chapter here, but some fun stuff. I have to admit I giggled through a few parts, adding them, just cause. Hope this meets up to the praise you all are throwing my way!
Chapter 17
Ben's mind drifted, aware he was sleeping, but not yet awake and darkness surrounded him. He turned, trying to find some kind of light or fixed point but found nothing until a voice broke through to him.
"You thought you could burn me away?" said the electronically distorted words, and Ben turned to see a large grayish mirror that had cracks around the edges as a black figure materialized.
The figure was cloaked with the red, cracked mask of Kylo Ren as it strode to stop in front of him, the glass being the only separation.
Ben sneered at the reflection, "Kylo Ren is dead." He said repeating the words his father said to him.
"You can't kill me!" the reflection stated back matter of factly, "I am part of you. I am the dark that you hide away." It said leaning in as if examining Ben.
Ben hesitated as doubts tried to surface and he took a breath, steadying himself, "I have darkness always inside me, but I am not dark anymore. You do not rule my life." He said with conviction.
The figure tilted it's head questioningly at him as if in disbelief, "I will destroy you. Then, you will destroy her." It hissed maliciously.
Ben cut in at the thought, "No. You will not touch her." He growled back dangerously at the glass.
"You are both MINE!" The figure roared and slammed it's hand against the glass, cracking it in a large circle around the contact point.
Ben jarred awake, his eyes flying open in the dim light of the hut, his heart pounding and breathing rapid as he tried to focus. The sound of the word 'mine' seeming to hang in the silence of the still dark night.
At some point Rey had rolled to face him and he looked down at her sleeping form, a shiver rattling through him.
"Are you cold?" She mumbled, her voice heavy with sleep, eyes still closed. Without waiting for his response she grabbed the edge of the blanket that was shoved down by his hip and pulled it up over him, reaching behind him to make sure it was between him and the cold bricks.
When she was done, she burrowed close, clasping his shirt in her small hand while she tucked her face into the hollow of his neck. Her breathing tickling his bare collar bone as it slowed, evening back into a regular pattern of sleep.
Ben doubted she would remember the moment in the morning, and he sighed, trying to wipe his mind of the emotions left by the dream. He pulled Rey close, breathing in her familiar and comforting scent as he focused on how warm she felt tucked in against him, feeling wide awake. He tried to focus on the plans they had made, but his mind kept wandering back to the figure behind the mirror and the things it had taunted him with.
"You are right, it's really hard to sleep when your mind is going." Rey mumbled in an irritated tone against the skin of his neck.
Despite the inner turmoil, the sensation caused a delicious feeling to spread out from that spot and warm all the way through him, before he could even register it, "Sorry." He murmured back trying to calm himself for all kinds of new reasons.
He felt her tense as she caught a snip of his dream and she shifted her head away from his neck to crack her eyes open at him in the dim light.
"Are you okay?" She asked softly, voice sounding much more awake, and she slid one of her arms around his waist as a comforting gesture.
Ben sighed and leaned his forehead against hers for a moment, "Getting there." He whispered just taking a second for the first time in his life to enjoy something.
Rey quickly searched through his memory for the rest of the dream and smiled at his confidence, "what you told the darkness was right you know." She said, reaching up out from under the blanket to stroke his cheek, her fingers threading through his hair.
"Hmmm?" He slightly purred as his eyes fluttered shut at her touch.
"You don't deny the darkness inside, you have made it a part of you." She whispered pride in her words as she said them.
Ben relaxed, letting her sooth the last of the lingering tensions away with her tender touch. "That's nice." He mumbled, sleep starting to take over him.
Rey smiled and relaxed against his heat, listening to the sound of his heart beating against her ear and let sleep claim her.
Ben slowly woke to the sound of heavy rain falling on the roof of the hut and a draft chilling his back. He grumbled and searched for the missing blanket, keeping his eyes shut during the process when he realized the spot where Rey had been sleeping was empty. He opened his eyes to find her stoking the fire with his blanket wrapped around her before she darted back to the bed, her teeth chattering.
"You had to take the blanket with you to do that?" Ben grumped as she covered them both again, snuggling in close to any heat he had.
"S-s-s-s-orry." She stammered and he wrapped his arms around her, realizing how cold she was.
"How did you get so cold?" He questioned her and her hands felt like blocks of ice against him and any bare skin was chilled and covered with goose bumps.
"I-I-I d-d-on't kn-n-ow." She said rattled out and showed him that she had woken up to the blankets gone and the hut cold enough she could see her breath.
Ben realised he must have pulled them off her in his sleep and rubbed her arms by way of an apology, "Sorry, I must have stole it while I slept. Are you warming up?" He asked noting her teeth weren't shaking as bad.
"Yeah, you are a pretty good heater." Rey said blushing and tucked her head under his chin, pressing her cheek to his neck making him flinch.
"Stars, Rey! Even your kriffing nose is cold!" He complained and wrapped his arms tight around her again.
By the time the rain had slowed enough for Tsaro to make it to their hut, both Ben and Rey were up and starting to work on the designs for their sabers, the Kyber crystals laid out on the table between them.
"No, no, you can't run the power that way, it will cause a short here." Ben was saying to Rey as he looked over her design on her holopad. He had already finished his schematics and was going through their supplies to see what they might need for parts.
Tsaro banged through the door as usual with her wheelbarrow and Ben hurried over to help her, his face filling with concern.
Tsaro shooed him away, "Stop hover, young Master Ben." She grumped at him as she got the items out for lunch, then looked at the mess on the table with a frustrated sigh.
"As bad as children," she muttered and then spoke up, "Away now, clean, food goes on table." He tone chastising as her words inspired immediate action.
Rey stopped her for a moment, "Are you okay?" She ask, Ben pausing as well to hear the answer.
"Yes, young Masters, I fine." Her face showing irritation, while her tone betrayed the tenderness behind it.
Rey nodded and they made quick work of cleaning up and prepping so they could all sit to eat by a warm fire.
Ben waited till they were settled at told Tsaro about his dream, "The mirror has cracked further. I don't think we can wait longer to put up a wall." He stated at the end of his telling.
Tsaro nodded thoughtfully and glanced over at the caged Porg, "You done well. It time I think, too." She said sipping her tea.
"Can we do it from here or do we need to go there?" Rey asked, expressing her thoughts out loud.
Tsaro got up and started to put things away before she answered, "Release Porg first. Then we go to place you talk of." She said resolved and Rey shuddered a little with the memory.
They waited for Tsaro to finish her chores and she directed them to sit in their meditative position as she took the Porg outside. Slowly they released the cage, letting it go and gaining some power from the release before they came back to the present of the hut.
Packing a few items, they set off, with Rey in the lead in a stoic march towards the place of dark power by the edge of the ocean. Tsaro had left instructions with the other caretakers to bring them lamps if they were still gone by evening. The island seemed to sense the mood of the group as low grey clouds hung over them and a cold wind seemed to bite through any layers that they had on to protect them as they made their slow hike to the dark place.
When they finally arrived, both Ben and Rey could sense the malice emanating from the dark hole, the ocean kicking up spray over the edge in an altogether angry display while the sky darkened and seemed to threaten to open in a full downpour at any moment. They moved to the back of the cavern and sat together, focusing on their connection to the force to draw them into the space between, trying to stay clear of the cold ocean spray as much as possible.
The mist surrounded Ben and Rey, heavy and comforting as they began. The mirror appearing before them, the large cracks around the edge wicked and jagged and the circular cracks from Ben's dream spidering out from the middle.
Ben glanced over at Rey and she took his hand, let's do this. She said encouragingly, and closed her eyes, drawing on the power from the island as well. Ben was about to close his eyes as the shadowy figure started to materialize on the other side.
The voice in the mask taunted him, You brought her to me. It said before it chuckled behind the mirror. You think you can stop me? It hissed with such anger the ground started to shake.
Rey squeezed Ben's hand tightly and shifted towards him, placing her other hand over his heart and he closed his eyes at the feeling. The heat from her hand spread slowly and brought the mist to him, her thoughts calming him.
Rey felt Ben's hand wrap over her heart, his fingers brushing her collarbone and the heat burning away any fears she had coming to this place. He was suddenly with her in the space between, Let's seal some cracks. She said, gathering the mist and smoothing it over the mirror, pushing it against the cracks, forcing it into the tiny spaces.
They worked tirelessly till the surface seemed smooth again, all the while the voice taunting them, mocking them, pressing on any perceived weakness.
Why do you care for this man? It grated at Rey and slowly shifted to take the form of Leia as it spoke, and she faltered. You've sacrificed my cause, left it, your friends, your family, for what? She said with a sneer. He doesn't deserve you. He is a monster and you know it. She said turning back to Ben who was shaking with strain.
You killed everything I loved. You killed my son, you killed Han, you will kill the closest thing I had to a daughter. The apparition of Leia threw at him.
Ben slammed a force brick down and turned his head to meet the dark stare, You are not going to win. He spat and gathered more mist, slamming another brick in place. We are stronger, and we will defeat you. He finished turning back to meet Rey's gaze.
Rey steeled herself at his words, the tears that the false Leia brought up now dry and she gathered more energy, creating brick after brick, placing it tightly in front of the mirror in tandem with Ben. Sweat was trickling down from her temples and she felt weak, drained, but she pushed on as the voice pressed further.
The image shifted one last time as the bricks piled up to the top quarter of the mirror, Han's grizzled features grinning at them humorlessly. You won't stop anything with this little trick. It said as a promise, I'm coming and I will start with everyone one and everything that you love.
At this, Rey placed the final few bricks, obscuring the figure completely behind the grey force wall. You will get no one I love. She said staring into Ben's eyes as she said it.
Tsaro waited patiently as the waves crashed continually spraying the pair, and the evening fell. As per her instructions, young caretakers appeared, lamps in hand lighting the area and warding off the darkness that seemed to be right on the edge of the hole. As it got later and later, she felt a calm start as the waves slowly died down and wind eased, while the skies opened in a cold soaking rain, until Rey slumped against Ben with a groan.
Ben shuttered and opened his eyes, panting with unseen effort and wrapped his arms around Rey tenderly. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly, as she breathed heavily against him, the rain and see water having soaked both the bone long ago.
Rey tried to slow her heart and her breathing, and gathered what energy she had left to raise her head, "Yeah, just tired. You?" She asked seeing the dark circles under his eyes in the lamplight.
Ben nodded and looked around him, noticing it was well into the night and they were surrounded by caretakers with lamps. Tsaro was sitting in the same spot they had seen her settle and she rose with a groan at their acknowledgement, her cloths clinging to her as water pooled under her from all the rain.
"It done." She said with a firm nod, "You make it back?" She added with concern as she took the pair in with a critical gaze nearing them with a obviously pained shuffle.
Ben nodded lightly and groaned as he rose, every muscle weak and hurting, and helped Rey up as well, tucking his arm around her for support. "We will make it." He said, inwardly doubting his own words and they set off, ever so slowly back to the huts, the cold seeping in.
It took many rest breaks and no small amount of encouragement from Tsaro to get them back to the hut, by the time the night was the darkest, but when they did, they were met with a warm fire crackling away, hot broth in a pot, and tea ready. Tsaro had been carried in the wheeled wagon by a few of the other caretakers, bundled in blankets to stave off the cold.
Once they were settled with blankets, Ben insisted she go and get some rest as she was hobbling painfully around the hut, "Tsaro, go. We can manage. You need rest." He said forcing his voice to stay steady, insistent enough that she finally agreed and shuffled out with her goodnight back into the wheeled cart.
Rey slid forward in her chair, shivers starting to rattle her teeth as she hugged the mug in her hands desperately trying to absorb any kind of heat it had to offer. Ben took a quick look at her and frowned, the cold causing him to shake just as badly as well.
"Rey, we need to get into dry clothes." He said ever so gently as he approached her chair doing his best to keep his teeth from chattering as hard as hers were.
Rey looked up at him, her whole body beginning to violently shake and nodded, so cold that she was unconcerned of what it meant in the moment, just that she was being told she needed to do something.
Ben helped her up and moved her towards the bed where someone had set out clothes, taking her mug and setting it off to the side as he moved the, now wet, blanket from her shoulders, setting it over a chair.
Rey's fingers with numb and she fumbled with the clasp on her belt, "I j-j-just w-w-want-t-t to s-s-sleep." She said pitifully and Ben moved back, clasping her hands between his cold ones, but not having any heat of his own to spare her.
"I kn-know. C-c-can I do this for you?" He asked with a concerned seriousness that made Rey's heart melt a little and she nodded, as his shivering didn't seem nearly as bad as hers.
He carefully undid her belt, fingers only slipping a couple times, and set it on the floor, before moving to help her out of her soaked shirt. His hands not quiet working right, but unsure if it was because of the cold, or despite everything, that he was undressing her.
Rey could only focus on the bone rattling shivers as her shirt was pulled over her head, causing goose bumps to break out across her skin, before Ben pulled a dry, warm shirt back over her head again. Next came her pants to which he knelt in front of her, tugging to get the clinging material off her legs as he focused intently on her feet.
Ben swore under his breath as he struggled with getting her feet out from the wretchedly clingy material as his own shakes started to increase into full shivering like hers. Mercifully, the material finally cooperated and he helped her step into a loose pair of pants and he finished by wrapping another, dry blanket over her shoulders.
"B-b-better?" He chattered out, and she nodded feeling instantly warmer with the removal of the wet, cold material.
"You next." Rey replied, her teeth finally stopping to rattle, but the rest of her still shivering lightly.
Ben nodded and Rey noticed how blue his lips were and they moved to his bed. She unwrapped the blanket that was also wet, off him, and helped him unstick his shirt, pulling up over his head to drop it in a soppy heap on the floor.
It was the first time that Rey actually took note of all the scars that snaked their way across different parts of him. She paused for just a second, her hand hovering over a curved scar on his left side by his ribs before moving to grab his shirt and help him get it over his head as his hands started to shake violently.
Once that was over his head, Rey faltered, her hands at her sides as she realized he needed to get his pants off as well.
"I-I-it's okay, I-I-I g-g-got it." He stuttered and fumbled, his fingers, not working properly as he attempted to get the ties undone.
Rey took a deep breath and batted his hands away, working the ties quickly and kneeing as she pulled down the sopping material. It was quick work from there to get him in a dry pair of pants and pull a dry blanket around his shoulders as well.
As she pulled the material around him, Ben looked down at her, hearing the words in his head that she said to the dark apparition and he snagged the corners of the blanket and enclosed her in his arms, wrapping the blanket closed around both of them.
Rey was completely enveloped in a moment, Ben's arms closing the blanket around her to her surprise, and she rested her head on his chest, feeling the heat begin to work its way back into his skin. She tentatively reached her arms around him, pulling her blanket around his waist at the same time and just listened to his heart beat.
She felt a warmth of emotions flowing through him and she reached out with her tired mind to see that he was stuck on one train of thought. Her words, her eyes, as she told the darkness it would get no one she loved, and she realized the impact and truth of what she said, tightening her arms around him in response.
Ben felt her in his mind as he thought of the moment and her arms squeezing him tightly. He closed his eyes, the shaking easing away and smoothed her hair with his cheek, taking a deep, comforting breath.
"I feel worse than I did when we got back to Ajan Kloss." He murmured into her hair, the last of his shivers leaving him exhausted and sore all over.
Rey chuckled into his chest, thankful he decided to move pasted their moment for the time being, "I'm starving though." She mumbled back, her lips rubbing against the soft material of his shirt and she felt him smile into her hair.
"Food, then sleep." He stated, reluctantly lifting his head and loosening his arms from around her shoulders.
Rey looked up with a shy smile and nodded, letting go as well to move to her chair, and Ben served them both some broth and followed her lead to sit, tucking the blanket around him to keep the heat in.
They finished quickly and Rey tossed a couple more logs on the fire as the rain seemed to start coming down harder, keeping it dark outside, even though it should have been starting to get lighter. When she rose, Ben was standing by his bed and extended his hand to her in invitation.
She didn't even think twice as she walked over, and took his hand while he laid down and moved to the back of the bed, making room for her. Instead of turning her back though, she crawled in, facing him, tucking her one arm against his chest, the other around his waist while she snuggled her head under his chin.
Ben waited for her to settle and then pulled her flush against him with a contented sigh. Never would he have thought he would be here, holding her in the dead of night, her breath warm against the pulse point of his neck. With that pleasant thought he drifted off into a comfortable sleep.
The sun was streaming in brightly as Rey groaned and rolled over to keep it out of her eyes and she realized the spot beside her was empty. It had been another full week of back and forth conversations with Poe and the rest of the counsel, but Ben had finally convinced them that his information had been valuable enough to let him leave for the end of the month.
They only had a week and a half to secure a ship and an invite to the exclusive ball to be able to execute the plan to retrieve the holocron. As time passed, he seemed to sleep less and grump more, leaving Rey frustrated and just as short.
She peeked open her eyes to see him only a few feet from her, shirtless, his hair still dripping down his back from washing, the pink, healing mark from the blaster burn standing out on his shoulder blade, small other scars here and there marring his smooth skin.
"Did you sleep?" Rey asked quietly and watched him glance back over his shoulder at her. She could feel his irritation with the question.
"A little." He said shortly and pulled his shirt over his head quickly.
She had, had about enough of his surely attitude and flipped back the blankets in frustration, "How, exactly do you think you are going to make it through this little plan of ours if you don't get sleep and spend all your time obsessing?" She snipped, nodding her head in the direction of the holopad in his plans displaying the ball room schematics.
Ben set it down and slowly turned towards her, his fury peaked to the point of no return, "Obsessing?" He said with a deadly calm to his voice, and took a step towards her, straightening up to his full stature. "I am trying to make sure we get out alive." He stated through grit teeth.
Rey didn't back down, she had nothing to be scared from his posturing, but she knew he needed to get out some of his worries. She had hoped he would come to the realization on his own, but her patience was now done.
"Ben, you can make the best plan in the world, and you have, and now we need to just go and do it. There is nothing more you can prepare here. Let it go." She said firmly accenting her final words individually to make her point.
Ben fumed even more, "We can't just fly by the seat of our pants, Rey!" He said starting to pace and raking a hand through his wet hair.
Rey sighed in frustration and blocked his pacing path, getting awarded with a dark look for doing so, and she reached up and slid her hands up his chest all the way to his neck and then cheeks. "You have planned. I know you are worried. We will figure it out if something goes wrong." She said in a soft and soothing tone as she kept his eyes on hers.
She could feel the fight drain out of him and he let out a deep breath of resignation and set the holopad down on his bed.
It frustrated him to no end how she seemed to know what he needed when he didn't seem to realize it himself. "Fine. I'm to tired to fight with you. Besides, you seem to always win anyways." He muttered with mock anger, gaining a smile from her.
"Better. And I am glad you are finally realizing that." She said letting his face go and giving him a cheeky grin.
Ben scoffed a laugh at her and sat on the edge of his bed for a second, "I hope your friend comes through with a ship for us, the Falcon isn't exactly low profile." He said referring to Finn's assurances that they would have a ship suitable to arrive in by the time they were supposed to get picked up.
Rey rolled her eyes at Ben and headed out of the hut to wash. The air was crisp and clear, the sun cool for being so bright and she noticed a flurry of activity from all the caretakers. Flags were being put up, streamers already hung, with excited chatter everywhere.
By the time Rey finished and headed back into the hut, Tsaro was puttering around cleaning up and muttering about them being as messy as her children. Ben was at the table putting away the components and tools they were using to complete their sabers and Rey hurried to help him.
"Tsaro, what's all the excitement about?" Rey asked putting away her tools quickly and wiping down the table.
"It Festival of Visitors. Men are almost month late returning. Great party, celebrating." Tsaro said with a grin.
Rey looked over at Ben with a surprised look, "The men? It never occurred to me that they weren't here." She said under her breath feeling a little embarrassed by her lack of observation.
Tsaro scoffed at Rey, "Men fish, get supplies, provide. Now we rejoice in return." She said setting the breakfast out for them.
Ben sat and cupped his mug in his hands, "Are your sons with them then?" He asked sipping on his tea while the breakfast cooled.
"Oh yes, been to long. See my mate too." Tsaro said with a much more sheepish grin and Ben nearly choked on his tea while Rey shot him a dirty look.
Ben shrugged as an apology and tried to focus on his breakfast while Tsaro came around a smacked his leg with a spoon playfully, "I old, young Master, not dead." At which Ben did unceremoniously cough, spit and spray his tea to the side as Rey laughed till tears trickled down her face.
"Okay, I go to prepare. They here soon. Come join when music starts." Tsaro said and shuffled out quickly, gathering her skirts in her haste.
Ben wiped his mouth and shirt and mumbled, "That's like thinking about my parents." With a tone of disgust and Rey laughed even harder.
Even with the stress of planning the trip to Malastare, Ben was starting to become more and more like a 'regular person' and less like the tightly controlled leader he had been for so long. It was a slow process, but Rey was seeing a difference with every week that passed.
They both ate, then meditated to make sure the wall was firmly in place and making sure they were keeping the darkness trapped as best as they could. Once they were done, they pulled out their sabers, and tried to finish them up. They were mostly completed and Ben was running over the last few checks of the wiring with Rey to make sure they would work properly.
"How much longer till we can test them?" Rey asked anxiously as he double checked her wiring. It should have bother her that he had to inspect what she did, but for some reason it didn't. She was almost proud to show him, and in a way challenge him, to find a fault in what she had done.
"Hmmm, not…to….much….longer." He said concentrating on the intricate wiring she had finished that was connecting the Kyber crystal.
He handed it back with a nod and went back to his own. Both sabers were relatively the same, however, he designed his with a slight difference that he was keeping to himself until they tested it out. Rey's on the other hand was a lot like Luke and Leia's, which kind of surprised him as she was so good with a staff he figured she might gravitate to something more like that, given a choice.
Rey's neck was starting to cramp up just as the sound of drums and music began to drift on the air and she raised her head, a slow grin spreading on her face. As much as she had focused on their training and routine, the thought of something new was refreshing with the danger they were facing soon.
"I think that might be our queue." Rey said standing and setting aside her tools. Ben's head was bent over the table in deep concentration with his task.
"Almost….done." He said and straitened up, rolling his head on his shoulders making his neck pop, "Oh, that feels better." He commented and stood stretching a little as he listened to the music.
"Come on, Ben." Rey said her face showing her excitement for the festival and Ben groaned.
He really didn't like crowds much and had been dragged to more than his share of parties with his mother so he wasn't as excited to leave the little bubble of a life they had in the hut. "Okay." He grumbled, only going because of how excited Rey was.
Heading out the door, the music grew louder and a large crowd could be seen up on the hill, literally covering the far side with Lanai of different shapes, flags and streamers waving in the wind. Rey beamed and reached back, grabbing Ben's hand to nearly drag him towards the festivities, as this was the first time ever that they got to just be themselves.