"Faker!" Shadow yelled.
"Faker, where are you?!"
It had been several hours since the ultimate life form had started his search for the hero, and his concern slowly began to morph into irritation. He was able to track Sonic effortlessly through the forest earlier in the afternoon but now a snowstorm was picking up, covering the trail his rival left in the snow. Shadow tried following his chaos energy to track him, but unfortunately their bond worked both ways and Sonic would speed off the moment he sensed the dark hedgehog getting too close.
Every so often Shadow consider quitting and heading back to the village. The hero's rampant energy had winded down over time during their chase, and he was confident Sonic going Dark again wasn't an issue. In any other circumstance, he would have simply waited for the blue hedgehog to come back once he cooled down.
However, something nagged at Shadow to keep going. It didn't feel right to leave Sonic to his own devices, though the ultimate life form was having trouble figuring out why. Either way, he knew that not confronting his partner would eventually result in Sonic avoiding the conversation, and Shadow was pretty tired of brushing things under the rug over and over again.
Red eyes glanced up at the moonlight peaking through pink leaves, its rays reflecting sharply on the sparkling snow. It was getting dark and while Shadow had no problem navigating, Sonic was not as fortunate, especially if he was in a part of Press Garden he had never been to before.
The dark hedgehog began to sense a faint, warm chaos energy and picked up the pace, hoping he would reach his rival before he decided to run off again. To his surprise as Shadow got closer, the energy wavelength didn't move away this time. A low trickling noise reached Shadow's ears as he pressed on, and soon he spotted a small creek up ahead.
The water sparkled with moonlight, its surface dotted with small pink leaves twirling aimlessly as the water flowed out of sight deeper into the forest. Large rocks and fallen trees leaned over the edges of the creek and Shadow figured the Faker was somewhere around here, given all the spaces to hide. His chaos energy was close by and it seemed like Sonic had no intention of escaping this time.
"I know you're out here. You know I know you're out here, so quit hiding."
"I'm not hiding..." A familiar voice trailed off somewhere on Shadow's left. Sonic's form appeared out of the darkness from behind a fallen tree, his emerald eyes bright and intimidating.
"Then why did you stop at the creek?"
Sonic blinked rapidly, avoiding his rival's gaze.
"I got lost."
"Wow."
"Why are you even out here?"
"I can't have you running around like this when your emotions are out of control." Shadow retorted irritably.
"You can't have me running around? Excuse you? I'm an adult. A powerful one at that. I can take care of myself, and I don't need you looking after me."
"Sonic, you and I both know you're having trouble processing this--"
"I don't want to talk about this right now." He replied tersely, walking past the dark hedgehog.
"Look, I'm fine now, see? Let's just go back to the village. I need to apologize to Blaze and Silver for how I acted anyway."
Sharp claws dug into his arm, pulling Sonic to a halt.
"We aren't done here, Faker."
"What now?" The hero snorted.
"I am tired of your attitude, and everything you do is pissing me off."
"Oh wow thanks man, I was gonna say the same to you actually. Peak of romance ain't it?"
"Don't get smart with me. You're acting like a complete idiot over something you could not have controlled."
"Shads, drop it." Sonic said evenly.
"Blaze told me about the time travel idea. Are you really that stupid?" Shadow flinched as his partner snatched his arm away.
"I was just trying to find a way to fix this. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, but Amy didn't need to die because of my mistake! There's gotta be something I can do--"
"There isn't. People die, and we have to live with it, Sonic."
"There's always a way. I always find a way, because I'm the hero; I don't let people down, I don't give up, and don't need you treating me like a damn child! I've saved the fucking world a million times, Shadow I'm not some--some scared little girl that needs to be protected, okay!?"
Something hot flashed across their bond that sent Sonic's stomach plummeting. Shadow's eyes widened a fraction but his body was still, and for a moment the hero wasn't sure what had happened.
"Scared little girl, huh?" The ultimate life form chuckled mirthlessly.
"...Shads..I-I didn't mean it like that, I wasn't talking about--"
"Perhaps you're right, hedgehog," Shadow interrupted, turning away to face the creek.
"Sha--"
"My actions towards you lately could very well be because I couldn't protect someone else precious to me." He shrugged absently. Red eyes flicked up to the hero's own, an unreadable expression on Shadow's face.
"I'm sorry if I've been such a burden on you lately."
"Shadow c'mon, it's not like that..."
"Then what is it like? Sonic, I have spent so much time learning to trust others, to trust you, because you convinced me it was better than being alone. Yet you don't trust me? Have I not earned that, even after all this time?"
The hero put his hands in his jacket pockets, shaking his head slowly. Sonic met his gaze and Shadow was sure the hero was going to take off again, but instead he took a step forward.
"It's not that I don't trust you," He replied breathlessly.
"It's that I don't trust myself."
"What do you mean?"
"Shadow, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. I saved the world, I beat Eggman, I'm who everyone calls when the world needs saving. No matter what happened, I was always able to fix it. No matter what I felt, I had to keep going until I found a way. I knew that if I faltered for even a fucking second none of us would be where we are today. I can't..."
He ran a hand ran though his blue quills in frustration, letting out a shaky sigh.
"Ever since that day I let Amy down, everything has been falling apart and I'm losing control. Fighting Eggman was so simple, but now that he's gone, everything...i-is so different. I have time to think, and I feel all those things I couldn't afford to feel back then.
I'm afraid that if I give into those feelings, those fears...that I won't be able to come back from them. That if I let go of Amy it means I've given up on her! It means I've fucked up and failed to protect the people I care about most..!"
His expression suddenly twisted into a heated grimace, ears flattening at the thought. He glared at the moon, venomous anger leaking into his tone with every word he spoke.
"What kind of hero am I if I can't even do that much!?"
Shadow winced, feeling the brunt of Sonic's barely contained pain and frustration as it assaulted him with such a wretched, powerful energy he felt nauseous. In the corner of his eye the ultimate life form spotted movement and realized with dread that a familiar dark hazy aura was coming back...
He exhaled deeply, trying to get his body under control.
No. They needed to do this.
"Sonic, the reason things are harder since that incident, is because you refuse to evaluate your feelings about it."
Blue ears perked up indignantly at his words but Shadow continued, not wanting the hero to cut him off again. For a split second he saw green pupils flicker, but perhaps he imagine it...
"You're trying so hard to be unbreakable, believing that is the solution to the problem. However strength is not when you feel nothing, or fear nothing. Strength is when you continue to do what's right in spite of those negative emotions."
Sonic shook his head vehemently, short shaky breaths escaping through clenched teeth. His fur faded navy for a few heartbeats before slowly returning to a bright blue.
"Shads, no, I can't--"
"If I can, then I know you can. As long as I'm here, you don't have to do it alone." He reached out to his rival, black striped hands caressing Sonic's muzzle softly. The hero froze up at the contact, a hot consuming feeling enthralling his senses as Shadow's energy mingled with his own. Emerald eyes flickered and became glossy, their owner trying desperately to blink away tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
"I promised you that I wouldn't let you do it alone."
"Then...How."
"How what?"
"How did you get over losing someone...you swore to protect at the cost of your own life?"
"I didn't."
A black claw swiped delicately over Sonic's cheek.
"You never get over losing someone, but you cannot let their passing consume you either. I don't think I would have ever learned that without meeting you." Shadow wrapped his arms around Sonic's waist and placed a gentle kiss on his temple.
"You saved me from myself. Let me return the favor."
"Shads, stop..." Sonic breathed, pushing against the dark hedgehog's chest. Black arms tightened around him, refusing to let go.
"I'm serious, enough...!"
He struggled a little harder this time, but Shadow had him in a tight grip, not flinching once as his rival pushed harshly against him. Black aura thickened around them as Sonic struggled, his quills rising slightly as crimson eyes bore into the hero, pure determination reflecting in their steady gaze.
"Chaos, Shadow, why the fuck are you doing this...!?" Sonic's voice warped desperately as he thrashed in the ultimate life form's hold. Shadow's grip was starting to loosen a bit now that Sonic was moving around wildly and the hero could feel his chance to escape. Breathing seemed impossible, no matter how hard Sonic tried to force the feelings down, they bubbled up again, stronger, darker than before, if he could just get away--
"It's okay." Shadow whispered roughly.
No it wasn't...!
"Calm down..."
He didn't understand!!
"Just breathe."
"Shadow--!"
"She wouldn't want this."
The hero's resolved cracked slightly, feeling the weight of his partners words sink in and seep through the dark clouded frenzy of panic. Briefly he felt Shadow's familiar gentle energy prodding in the back of his mind, trying to break through the haze and reach him, Sonic no longer having the strength to deny it.
"She just...wanted you to be happy."
Shadow loosened his grip on the blue hedgehog, sighing in relief as he relaxed against his chest. The dark aura slowly dissipated into the night fog, as Sonic's quills relaxed and lowered back into place. Pained whimpers fell from the hero's lips and he leaned against his rival, shoulders shaking uncontrollably as he buried his face into Shadow's chest.
A lump formed in the dark hedgehog's throat, his normally impenetrable mind being assaulted by the harshness of Sonic's chaos energy. Rough, raw and anguished, sparking violently and quickly changing from a dull warmth to a blazing fire that burned deep through Shadow's skin. He knew how it felt, he knew what it was like to do everything you could and it still not be enough.
"I..." Shadow said shakily. He went silent for a few heartbeats and cleared his throat.
"I will always be here for you. I promise."
A loud violent sob echoed through the forest, Sonic unable to hold it back any longer. The sound alone broke Shadow to pieces but he said nothing, only gripping his partner tighter as more followed soon after. He stared ahead through the trees and let the hero cry, gently stroking azure quills through the pain as it pulled and resurfaced so much of his own that he had tried so hard to keep away. Shadow wanted to move the hero into a more comfortable position but Sonic gripped him frantically, hiding his face away from the dark hedgehog to preserve what was left of his pride.
It was a long time before the hero stopped, as his harsh anguished sobbing gradually faded into dry coughs and sniffles. He leaned carefully off Shadow's shoulder, and wiped his eyes before facing him directly. To Sonic's surprise the ultimate life form's muzzle was slightly damp, a few stray tears managing to break through the surface.
"...How do you feel?" Shadow asked hoarsely.
"...I just want...I wish-- I don't know."
"...Do you feel as if you've given up?"
"I don't know." Sonic repeated, taking slow short breaths to steady himself.
"I feel...kinda better right now but I still feel like shit and and I made you feel like shit along with me. We're...okay though, right?"
"I believe you are the one who always said that everything will be okay as long as we have each other; and I do not plan on leaving you."
Sonic wiped his rival's cheek, smiling weakly at the slight blush on his muzzle. It was getting cold.
"Yeah. We should head back."
"Agreed. We've been away for some time, and the others must be worried. Oh..."
Shadow's ear gave an anxious twitch, his eyes veering to the side for a moment before he spoke. It was clear he wanted to say something but was having trouble forming the words.
"I...wanted to apologize for my possessive, and possibly patronizing, behavior towards you. I just--"
"Nah, dude, don't. You we're just worried about me. I'm just not use to it I guess. Though you wouldn't be Shads if you didn't worry about everything."
The dark hedgehog grunted in response, tugging on the hero's sleeve before heading back toward the village. Sonic followed close behind him trusting that Shadow would be able to get them back before the snow storm got any worse.
For several minutes they made their way quietly through the forest, content with the gentle ebb and flow of their wavelengths against each other. Sonic was still feeling shameful and unsure about his emotional outburst, but the dark hedgehog's strong reassurance soothed over his insecurities every time they bubbled to the surface. He almost couldn't remember what it was like to worry about how Shadow felt and what he thought about him, now that they could feel each other so clearly. It turned out that his rival cared about him far more than he ever could have imagined.
"You know its funny..." Sonic pipped up after a while.
"Hm?"
"A year ago, I never thought you and I would talk to each other again. I wasn't even sure you liked me. Now you're all over me and my first response was to push you away."
" 'All over you' is a bit of a stretch, hedgehog." Shadow growled over his shoulder.
"Agree to disagree," the hero replied.
"but even though it made me mad sometimes...I love it. I love how it feels, I wouldn't have it any other way."
The ultimate life form didn't respond, keeping his eyes forward as they continued on through the dark snowy night in silence once again. However Sonic couldn't hide the hesitant smile on his lips, feeling his partner's wavelength curl lovingly against his own in appreciation.
"You're back!" Blaze exclaimed as she opened the door, thankful to see the two hedgehogs made their way to the village safely. Sonic stepped quickly into the living room, eager to get inside and warm up by the furnace. Shadow shuffled in after him and shook the snowflakes from his damp black fur.
"We made it, but not in time to beat the blizzard unfortunately."
"Why didn't you teleport back?" The princess asked shutting the door behind them. Shadow glanced hesitantly in Sonic's direction.
"He needed...some time to gather himself before we came straight back. Admittedly, so did I."
"I see. I apologize if any of that was my doing."
"It wasn't. Besides, you said what you needed to say."
The hero shed his jacket quickly, rubbing cold peach arms as he sat down huddled next to the furnace trying to get warm again. It suddenly dawned on him that Silver wasnt in the living room anymore when they arrived.
"Hey where is Silver? He didn't go looking for us, did he?"
Blaze shook her head, a troubled look flashing in her bright yellow eyes.
"He's upstairs. I told him what happened because he was really worried about you two. He just...went to his room."
"Is he alright?"
"He said he was but I doubt it. Though Silver told me he wanted to be alone for a little bit. I decided to give him some time, however I was about to check on him before you came back."
Sonic sighed deeply, glancing toward the staircase before pulling himself away from the furnace.
"I'll go talk to him."
"Are you sure?" Shadow asked, eyeing his partner cautiously.
"Yeah. Don't worry I got this, babe."
"Just don't...say anything stupid, alright?"
"gotcha."
The blue hedgehog took his time going up the stairs, noticing the second floor of the former mill was much larger and spacious than below. The hallway was completely dark and Sonic could barely make out anything beyond the light of an open door at the far end of the hallway. He assumed that was Silver's bedroom.
"Silver?" He called in the doorway and gave a quick courtesy knock on the frame, but there was no answer. Sonic stepped in and found the white hedgehog laying back on his bed, white brows furrowed as he stared at the ceiling in deep concentration.
"Is everything okay?"
"You didn't do it, did you?" He asked softly. Silver's normally enthusiastic voice was so low Sonic almost missed the question.
"No, I didn't--"
"Oh thank Chaos...!" The younger hedgehog gasped rolling over onto his side. He pushed himself up frantically and ran a hand through his long front quills, his voice shaking uncontrollably.
"I was so freaked out when Blaze told me what you wanted to do, and I-- I didn't know what to do you if you did do it. I trust you, and you're my friend and stuff but I have no idea if I could fix it if you--"
"Whoa, Silver, calm down buddy--"
"I just-"
"I didn't leave the house to go do any of that." Sonic replied, interrupting his panicked friend. The hero inched his way closer and sat on the bed, patting Silver gently on the back in reassurance. He let out a shaky sigh, gold eyes lowered to the floor unable to meet Sonic's gaze.
"...Am I a jerk for hoping that you failed at trying to save her?"
The question threw Sonic for a loop, but he understood what Silver meant.
"Not anymore than I am a jerk for considering putting the world into chaos for a chance at saving her."
"I...I felt kind of torn you know? Amy has always been good to me, and she was the first person I met here in your time. Blaze is my best friend in the world and I know that she loved her. Even though I knew what you were suggesting was wrong, I still felt horrible for hoping you didn't do it."
Silver laid back on the bed, covering his face with his hands in frustration. Sonic followed his lead and leaned back beside the white hedgehog, putting his arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.
"I'm so sorry, Silver."
"It's okay..."
"It's not, though. Imagine if I really did do it, you know? There's no telling how things could have went...and I would have destroyed so many good things that have happened, not just for the world, but for us. For her."
"Yeah, but at the same time, I admire you for being that way."
Sonic snorted.
"For being reckless?"
"Well...no. Yes? I mean for being the way you are when it comes to others. You were even willing to jeopardize your own happiness to save your friend."
"My own happiness?"
Silver rolled over, glancing at the hero curiously.
"It's possible Amy would have never pushed you to hang out with Shadow if you changed the past."
"Yeah, I know."
"Isn't Shadow your happiness?"
"Huh...I guess he is."
Sonic closed his eyes, a small smile quirking at the edge of lips.
"Shit, when did that happen...?"
Later on in the night, the two heroes retired to bed downstairs. Blaze suggested they take the second spare bedroom upstairs to sleep, but Sonic insisted on camping in the living room near the furnace. The blue hedgehog hated being cold more than anything, and sleeping while he was freezing always made him feel sluggish in the morning. The temperature made little difference to Shadow so he opted to stay downstairs with the hero; as if he actually had a choice in the matter. Sonic would worm his way into the dark hedgehog's bedsheets regardless.
Downstairs was warm and quiet, the golden glow radiating from Silver's furnace being the only light in the dark room. Sonic and Shadow laid comfortably in a mountain of pillows and blankets that Silver more or less forced them to take when Sonic mentioned he was cold. The ultimate life form felt that they were overdoing it but his partner seemed content with the makeshift nest, the blue hedgehog snuggled closely against his side scrolling through his news feed on Shadow's phone.
"Please go to bed, that light is irritating my eyes."
"You're able to stand extreme heat and cold, but can't handle this tiny light? Wow Shads, that's weak."
"Let me try this again; that light is annoying me, put it away before I break it."
Sonic chuckled a little and kissed his partner's cheek.
"Jokes on you if ya do, it's your phone, babe. Besides, I'm replying to all the people who commented on our photos. What do you expect me to do if ya break it, huh? Write letters?"
"That's no excuse to...oh," Shadow sat up slowly and reached into his quills, rummaging around a bit before pulling something out. Sonic angled the phone's light in Shadow's direction trying to make out what he was reaching for.
"Before I forget, I still have the other letter Amy wrote for us. I figured you would want to hang on to it." He handed the letter to Sonic, putting his arm up to block out the light.
"Seriously, don't shine it directly at my face..."
"Ah sorry," The hero replied, turning the light toward the envelope Shadow gave him instead. He ran a thumb over the single word 'Later', Amy's heavy-handed nature causing each dip and curve to leave small indents in the paper.
"If you want to open it now, its fine with me." The dark hedgehog replied softly.
Sonic tilted his head, seeming to consider the option.
"Honestly...all I really want right now, after today, is for her tell me everything is going to be okay." He turned to Shadow, unable to make out much of anything except his rival's crimson glowing eyes.
"As much as I want to do it though, I won't open it now. I'm gonna wait like I said I would."
"That's fine too. I figured you would answer that way."
Sonic blinked.
"Then...why did you ask me?"
"If it puts you at ease, and helps you cope to read it, ultimately that's all that matters to me. However, I think your decision to wait like she intended shows that you haven't changed at all, even though you were afraid you'd be different after accepting her death."
"I don't know...how I feel about it right now. Sad, obviously, but..." The hero trailed off as he placed the envelope into his quills. Sonic clicked the light off on the phone soon after, unable to see in the darkness but knowing exactly where to reach.
"I'm just glad I don't have to figure it all out by myself."
Shadow gave a small grin, feeling his partner's rough firm hands make their way over his chest. They were still a little cool to the touch but it felt good in an odd way, the sensation sending a lovely shiver down his spine. He pulled the hero closer, focusing some of his chaos energy into Sonic's own and hoping to warm him up a little more. A breathy sigh in the darkness and arms squeezing gently around his waist let Shadow know his kind gesture was greatly appreciated.
"No matter what happens, I will be here to help you through it." he replied.
"I promise."