Chapter 22.
Cas no longer felt he had made a mistake. He was enjoying one of the best nights of his life. He was talking happily on every subject from the history of magic to the weirdness of combining peanut butter with jelly with a friend who made the bed bounce slightly as she laughed and that odd sensation made him smile as much as her laughter did.
The snacks he had brought turned out to be the right ones and he had always loved to make people feel loved and appreciated with gifts of food. They both liked the beer, though a hunter and an angel really had no chance of becoming inebriated on one beer. But that was good. Drunkenness on either side would only mar a good night.
Most people who knew he was an angel were cautious around him, afraid of falling victim to his heavenly wrath and celestial power. Jules was only careful not to hurt or confuse him. She had no fear of him at all. Indeed, as the night wore on, they moved closer together without a word of discussion. Her proximity kicked off all kinds of feelings and he was aware that these feelings, at least, were more erotic than aesthetic.
He was growing to love her odd, spontaneous displays of physical affection. Sometimes, she would hold his hand for a moment or kiss him. Once, she scattered little kisses all over his face and said, "You're gorgeous." her lips so close that he felt the words on his skin as extra kisses.
He finally got up the courage to kiss her. He hoped and half believed that he was quite good at kissing. It seemed to come naturally to him or perhaps to his vessel. Either way, his lips met hers and lingered for some time, becoming more adventurous when she responded with every indication of enthusiasm. When the kiss ended, she looked into his eyes and, with a beautiful smile said, "Do that again." So he did.
After several more kisses like that, he said, "Dean wanted me to find a hobby. I think I've found one."
She laughed. "It's something you're very good at."
His cheeks felt warmer and he tried not to grin too much, but it felt so good to hear her say that and know that he had not disappointed her.
She stroked his cheek with her cool hand. "How can someone so special be so shy?"
"I try hard not to be." he said.
She kissed his lips again.
"It wasn't a criticism." she said, "I like who you are. I love that you're not as arrogant as most men would be if they looked that good and kissed that well. It's sweet that you're surprised that I like lying here with you."
"I like this too." he said, "But it's getting late and you should sleep."
"Would it be wrong of me to ask you to let me sleep in your arms?" she said.
"There are no rights or wrongs until we make rules about them." he reminded her.
"Do you find the idea repellent?" she said.
He thought about it.
She went on, "Some people like to snuggle, others don't. Some men hate it."
"There are straight men who hate touching women?" he said.
"There are men who don't want to hold one all night." she said.
He looked at her, trying to imagine a circumstance in which the thought of physical contact with her would not seem intensely appealing. "And I thought I was weird." he said, "Just let me take off my coat. I think it might be uncomfortable for you."
She looked surprised. "Are you sure you want to do that, Cas? I know you find the sensation of contact more overwhelming without the coat."
"Any contact with you, whatever I am wearing, is intense." he said, "I may feel it more without the coat, but whatever happens, I will feel it powerfully. I trust you not to take advantage of any confusion or helplessness caused by being too close to a woman who, at a distance, can turn my mind to mush."
"In what sense do you mean take advantage? Because I can't promise not to grab a few extra kisses."
He got up, smiling and took off his coat, hanging it up with care. "I mean like stabbing me in the throat with my own angel blade." he said, "I have no objection whatsoever to satisfying any less violent urges you may have."
"I can work within those parameters." she said.
He took off his tie.
"You should hang that on the door knob." she said.
"Why?" he said.
"It should stop anyone just coming in." she said.
"Nobody does that anyway." he said, "I think they worry they may witness something man was not meant to know."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Whatever it is, angels apparently don't know either." He hung the tie on the door knob. "There, if it makes you happy."
She laughed. "I love you so much right now."
"For hanging a tie on the door?" he said, "Even for a human, that's an odd kink."
"It's supposed to be on the outside." she said.
"Oh." he said. He opened the door and put the tie there. "I hope nobody thinks I don't want it and takes it. I like that tie."
"Nobody will touch it." she said, "Now, come over here."
He returned to the bed and lay beside her.
"Are you sure this is okay?" she said, "Because you could get very bored."
"I have watched stars coalesce." he said, "I am not easily bored. Besides, the candlelight provides a changing light by which to see your face. I think I could look at that until all the stars are cold." He smiled. "You may want to punch me in the face before I start rambling about entropy."
"That face? Cas, nobody is punching that face on my watch." She snuggled up close and rested her head on his chest. "If this stops feeling good, tell me, okay?"
"I don't think that's likely to be a problem." he said, wrapping his arms around her. Nothing had ever felt so right and so natural. The mere fact that she wanted such closeness felt amazing, but the feeling of holding her in his arms, feeling her breath on his chest, smelling the light, jasmine scent she wore was intoxicating. He held her more tightly and kissed her head. "Sleep well." he said.