Girl's Night Out Mark II
DHalpin's note: Yes Master Ken really does have a book, and yes I own it so… tremble before Doom! Um… I mean Dennis. Tremble before Dennis! Ah man, Doom has such a better ring to it. I mean, you just know Doom practices his lines before a mirror to make sure he gets the right impact "Doom has been waiting… Doom bows before nobody… Doom is but rarely surprised… Consciousness makes cowards of so many... Doom shall triumph!" Not to mention that whole speaking in the third person that Doom likes to do, and pulls off quite well.
Oh, and a few words about the Dirty Pair. Kei and Yuri are two Trouble Consultants (Criminal Division, Class A) for the World Welfare Work Association (3WA), code-named "Lovely Angels", but known throughout the United Galactica (UG) as the "Dirty Pair". A nickname given to them by the press due to their bad luck with their missions as they always seem to end in disaster. Yet they are always cleared of any wrongdoing by the UG's Central Computer because the extreme damage is never actually their fault (although their mere presence has been known to make things worse). And yes I own almost all published Dirty Pair products, films, and several TV series. The best film work is Dirty Pair: Project Eden which I think is excellent (and appears to be on you-tube so go watch it!).
Work on this chapter was delayed due to work being done on the first chapter or two of Boys Night Out (yes the last chapter's had the tease for the upcoming story). LordGrise is taking the lead on that story but I've been contribution material. And a shout-out to GORM as he correctly predicted where part of the story was going.
Oh, and timeline wise, Logan was still dead when this story takes place.
Part 14a: THREE DAYS LATER
Bruce read a random excerpt from Master Ken's book that Selina has scanned into the bat log, photos and all. It detailed finger pointing defense, i.e. break the finger.
In it we see Todd pointing his finger at Master Ken. Once the threat is clearly initiated (which is very important for legal reasons) you're going to first secure the wrist. We see Masker Ken grab Todd's left wrist (the one that has the pointing finger) with his right hand while grasping the threatening pointing finger with his left hand. Then….
BREAK THE FINGER!
We see a screaming Todd while Master Ken is clenching his teeth in effort. Note to the student, the fewer fingers you grab the more control you will have. Think of it as a joystick for your attacker. Except that it causes pain. So… it's more like a pain-stick. Know how to pop and pull that pain-stick.
Now Master Kens grabs Todd's left wrist with both hands and breaks the wrist.
Then a repositioning as he breaks Todd's arm.
Then a smash to the groin (always remember to strike the groin).
Uppercut from the groin to break the nose.
Followed by a leg sweep that knocks Todd onto his back. Remember, don't break the fall!
Now a knee-drop to the pelvis, followed by a kick to the head.
Then… STOMP THE HEAD. Note, walk on gravel whenever possible and stop washing your feet to make the stomping even more devastating; meaning rough and smelly feet.
While you're there, feel free to stomp the throat. Then kick the throat.
Then… as always… RESTOMP THE GROIN!
Bruce didn't know if he should laugh or take notes. But, he gave a sigh of relief as he read that Selina has secured the only copy of The Dow of Master Ken volume 1 and had given it to Alfred to lock up. An appreciative smile as he imaged that she has acquired it due to her Catwoman trickery and sneakery was his admiring thought… then a puzzled frown at his use of the word sneakery; best not let Selina hear him describing her as sneakery.
Meanwhile, the butler was in the pantry, safe from any prying eyes, practicing some moves as he carefully reviewed the book. Let's see, backwards kick to the groin and then, a twist of the body so as to re-stomp the groin. My word, this book makes it so simple to learn. And so clear as to groin attacks. Alfred shut the book as he mused to himself, why… the next time he was assaulted he would certainly have a few surprises for his assailants.
Part 14b: Broadway…
The remaining Bad Girz (Illyana, Dani, and Laura), accompanied by Cassandra and Selina, with Barbara still listening in, were making their way down Broadway. All were back in their field costumes, Illyana had magically changed them back after they had left the Iceberg lounge. Laura and Cassandra were walking side by side, while Dani, Illyana, and Selina were walking behind them talking about what a supposed Boys night out for Nightwing might be after Selina had first asked if Illyana could get her some tickets to a hard to attend event; which Illyana had done, much to kitty's pleasure (Selina would call cat logic, why pass up a nice saucer of tasty cream).
Laura and Cassandra were silent, exchanging spontaneous attacks. One moment just walking, the next Laura suddenly aimed a blow at Cassandra's kidneys, only to have the blow blocked and avoided. Then Cassandra struck back with a 180 body rotation and a kick that Laura blocked as she ducked under the kick then… The two resumed walking as if nothing had happened. But next it was Cassandra's turn to attack first.
That's when Selina waved Maser Ken's book about as they walked, it has been left at the table when Jubilee had snuck off with Lucie and Selina has snagged it. "Illyana, mind if I keep this? I think somebody we know would get a chuckle out of reading it."
"Sure, no problem." Was the casual reply back.
Okay, not very Sneakery, but effective. Hey, no need for stealth when the truth suffices.
Oh, and what is Jubilee doing right now you ask? Well… let's just she she's giving a certain somebody a lap dance, minus her clothing; and the name of a deity is being repeatedly invoked by Jubilee (somewhat to Lucie's mild annoyance, but he's used to it).
Back to Broadway. That's when Dani interrupted the ongoing combat test between Laura and Cassandra as she had decided to teach the two of them a drinking song. It was Drink by Alestorm and after a few iterations the whole group was singing it as they strutted down Broadway, taking sips from Illyana's wine bottle, and posing for selfies with whomever asked. In truth Selina thought it was all a bit silly but went along with the youngsters as sometimes it's best to let younglings run with it.
Oy you give me some beer!
Piracy's a crime and crime doesn't pay
And we go home poor at the end of the day
But I'd rather live my life in rags
Than be taped to a desk with a wife as a hag
We live each day like there's nothing to lose
But a man has needs and the need is booze
They say all the best things in life are free
So give all your beer and your rum to me!
We are here to drink your beer
And steal your rum at a point of a gun
Your alcohol to us will fall
'Cause we are here to drink your beer
We are here to drink your beer
And steal your rum at a point of a gun
Your alcohol to us will fall
'Cause we are here to drink your beer
Drink, drink, drink, drink,
Drink, drink, drink, drink,
Drink, drink, drink, drink,
Drink, drink, drink
We've sailed…
We've sailed all the seas for wenches and mead
And told great tales of the huntmasters' deeds
The quest for a drum of the famous ol' spiced
Has shown us the wrath of leviathans might
We went back through time to get more rum
Though we end up shipwrecked having no fun
But heavy metal pirates we must be
So give all your beer and your rum to me!
We are here to drink your beer
And steal your rum at a point of a gun
Your alcohol to us will fall
'Cause we are here to drink your beer
We are here to drink your beer
And steal your rum at a point of a gun
Your alcohol to us will fall
'Cause we are here to drink your beer
We are here to drink your beer
And steal your rum at a point of a gun
Your alcohol to us will fall
'Cause we are here to drink your beer
We are here to drink your beer
And steal your rum at a point of a gun
Your alcohol to us will fall
'Cause we are here to drink your beer
Drink, drink, drink, drink,
Drink, drink, drink, drink!
Which finally ended in giggles by all. That's when Laura inquired about the Dirty Pair, after first attempting to punch Cassandra in the face, which she of course blocked before trying to knee Laura in the stomach, who of course likewise blocked.
"This is how they dressed." Illyana did a little shiver and her black costume morphed from black to a white color, the spiky armor on her left shoulder faded away, as did the spiky armor glove on her left hand, her boots morphed into high heel silver boots as her short shorts became ever shorter and her top grew a collar. There was now some black trim in the costume edges. "Yuri's has yellow trim and Kei's has silver trim. I went with black."
Why, she ever produced a swanky 3WA ID that proclaimed her to be a Trouble Consultant trainee 'advanced' attached to the Lovely Angels as she briefly told the ending of a story.
BEGIN ILLYANA FLASHBACK
We see the Yuri (Japanese ethnicity with black hair) and Kei (hot-headed tomboy with red hair and tanned skin). The two are known as the Dirty Pair (actual code name Lovely Angels but nobody calls them that) on the bridge of their spaceship. They were bewailing the ongoing event that can be seen from the bridge windows.
The event being a one mile wide comet crashing into an eighty mile long tube shaped space station. The relative velocities were over one mile per second, but when things are that big it takes time to traverse, so the destruction of the space station appears to be in slow motion.
"It's not our fault!"
"We didn't even do anything with that stupid o'll comet!"
"No No No! Not again!"
"Why does this always happen!?"
Illyana was standing behind the two bridge command chairs, dressed the same as the Yuri and Kei, while scratching the head of Mughi, who is a black panther like creature with tentacles and control over much of the electronic spectrum. Mughi's smart, and has claws that can cut though metal; so of course Illyana thinks he's a big cutie (Illyana's definition of a fun pet is in sync with her definition of a fun time).
Illyana had a rather surprised expression as she watched the unfolding disaster. "Wow, you girls really do have the worst luck."
A comment that earned her glares from the bemoaning pair.
END ILLYNA FLASHBACK
"You copied their costume for your black getup." Was Dani's observation as she examined Illyana's white costume.
A statement that appeared to annoy Illyana. "I did not."
Dani shook her head no at Illyana's statement. "Nope, you totally did. Yeah, your black getup has no collar, has practical boots, and that armored shoulder, but that's about it for the differences.
"No way."
"Yes way."
Cassandra asked Laura a question while Illyana and Dani engaged in a 'No way' 'Yes way' tiff war over Illyana's getup.
"What might be a one sentence description of Wolverine?"
Laura thought upon the question while taking another sip from Illyana's bottle, then…
"He thought of beer as a type of vegetable."
A rather questionable set of lips from Cassandra that communicated 'really?'
A nod of the head from Laura that communicated 'yes really… he was very male.'
The squabble between Illyana and Dani was interrupted when an interestingly dressed young man (garters, high heels, corset, and lots of makeup) announced "Last chance to see Rocky Horror Picture show! Show starts in five minutes! Special one night showing with guest appearance by Meatloaf as he reprises his roll as Eddie! "
An announcement that meant nothing to Laura or Cassandra, but Dani was a massive fan of the film as she announced. "I love Rocky Horror! Let's do it!"
Illyana looked to the others and gave a shrug. It was okay with her, and she did know the songs (and quite a bit more to be honest, something Dana was in the know on), likewise Selina was a bit of a fan. Plus Illyana liked Meatloaf, the food and the singer.
And that's how… five minutes later, the lights dimmed as our five heroines, chewing on popcorn and surrounded by fans all dressed as the various characters, watched the spectacle is Rocky Horror Picture Show unfold. Illyana and Dana were on either side of Meatloaf, with Cassandra next to Illyana, then Selina next to Cassandra, and Laura was next to Selina.
Part 14b: Later (the next day)
Two-Face slightly stretched in his hospital bed. He was sore, very sore, but content. Ahhh… what a woman was his contented sigh. The pain killers were also providing a nice buzz. His stretch had jiggled the handcuffs, shame about being cuffed to the bed. The thought of bed and handcuffs triggered a soft chuckle at a memory of the prior night's activities.
A glance at the bedside table, where an unopened bottle lay. Yes… the night had gone well and apparently his exertions were well received. Two-Face shifted again, before fading back into blissful slumber.
Oh… and the bottle you ask? It was a bottle of Dewar's blended Scotch Whiskey, double double aged for ultimate smoothness, four stage ageing, finished in Oloroso sherry casks (and yes this actually exists). Mazikeen had been very pleased with the nights activities and had found an appropriate bottle to leave him as a remembrance of her, plus a get well soon card that lacked a signature, just a drawing of a winking female half scarred face.
Yes… a most pleasing night was his last thought as he faded back to pleasant dreams.