Hey readers! I released an unplanned Shield Hero one-shot last Saturday. If you've ever wondered what would happen if the Sacred Duel went down Yu-Gi-Oh style, read Let's Duel! to find out how it'd go down.
Now, enough with all the fluff, world-building, character introductions, etc. I'm ready to start bouncing Naofumi back into the action. Hold on to your seats. This ride's about to get a little bumpy for the Shield Hero.
Before that though, I do want to clarify a few things to a Guest. No, that isn't where demi-humans came from. The breeding system is not like Goblin Slayer at all. What I said from that history book last chapter (sorry for the spoiler anime fans) is literally what's been revealed in the LN's. The demi-humans were introduced to the world of Melromarc because of their two separate worlds being fused together (if you want to understand what that means, get to reading the LN's) and not because of breeding with monsters, either in this world or their former world. Sorry to shoot that down, but just, NO!
As I also explained, Siltvelt prides itself on keeping it's bloodlines pure (raccoon demi-humans mating with raccoon demi-humans, lion demi-humans mating with lion demi-humans, it's simple, they breed among their own species of demi-human) while Shieldfreeden has way more mixed demi-human and human/demi-human families. That's all there is to it. It's not more complicated than that. Don't try to add more than that. Please.
I'd explain Nielsoon too, but this note is getting long. Sorry, after reading that review, I realized I'd have to put a few things bluntly here since people read the review section and I don't want them thinking that the Church's propaganda actually holds a grain of truth to it. I'll end by saying you're way off the mark with Nielsoon and suggest you read the LN's or the Reprise novels. Specifically, LN 16 if you want to understand what Hero she was talking about. Now let's get reading!
Since Last Time: 38 more Favorites, 42 more Followers (Total: 932 Favorites, 1099 Followers)
Updated: February 10th, 2020 3:56 P.M. (MST)
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Facing the Spear Hero
11 Days before the Wave of Catastrophe
Naofumi calmly sat in the front seat of the wagon. Holding the reins to Filo as she went at a brisk pace down the road cut into the side of the cliff face. The slope on their right was steep and dotted with trees near the top. On their left was a steep drop that flattened out around 75 feet below.
'This area looks... familiar.' Raphtalia was napping in the back of the wagon, having fallen asleep after a night of keeping watch and training. Filo was humming a tune to herself as she happily pulled her favorite wagon along.
'Where I have seen this place before?' Naofumi had lots of alone time to sit and think as he tried to remember why this road looked familiar...
He looked up above. 'Ah, now I remember.' He had taken this route once before with Raphtalia back when they were first making their way towards Dragon Village. 'We kept to a path up above, but it allowed us to view if any knights were patrolling the road down here. It's funny how long ago that seems now with everything that's happened.'
He moved the Mask Shield to his arm before changing it to the Book Shield so he could look around at the familiar surroundings. It was the first time since Lute that he recognized a place he was traveling through. 'Being an outcast has forced me to flee all over the place… I think this is the first time since Lute that I've revisited a place.'
…
Filo started to hum a familiar tune in front of him. He couldn't place where it was from. But her humming brought his mind to the present reason why they were traveling by his and Raphtalia's old stomping grounds.
'Filo hit level 40 last night. With the Wave of Catastrophe eleven days from now, we either need to find somewhere to get our class ups or make sure we can get all our equipment up to date...'
He pulled up Filo and Raphtalia's stats on his status magic screen while he was thinking. He was at level 41 since he didn't have a level limit as a hero. Both Raphtalia and Filo were level 40 and had stars next to their names, indicating they'd need a class up before they could continue progressing. He then pulled up his help guide and looked up the information on class ups.
'According to my help guide, one of the requirements for obtaining a class-up is by using a Dragon Hour Glass. We won't be able to get our class ups here because of the Church's hostility. But if we were within traveling distance of another country's hourglass, maybe we could get our class-ups there before the Wave hit... but if it turns out we can't reach another country's dragon hourglass in time, maybe Jerry would be willing to go ahead to the Capital or another city to get the gear we need. I could lend him my Barbarian Armor to see if the old man could improve or not while we hid in the nearby forest and prepared for the next wave.'
He planned out what he'd say to Jerry in his mind. 'Hell. While I'm there, I could also ask Jerry if he has any Shields in his shop that I could copy. I haven't found many different shields at other blacksmith shops in smaller villages since leaving the Capital.' Naofumi grimaced. Hell, he'd be hard-pressed to think of a blacksmith that sold a variety of shields outside of Erhard's Capital shop since the state religion affiliated the Shield with the devil. Thus, many of the blacksmith's he'd visited in other villages hadn't had many, if any, shields for sale. 'Would Jerry even have something in his shop that I didn't already copy from Erhard? I mean, he doesn't sound like that good a blacksmith if he had to smuggle me and Raphtalia into the Capital so Erhard could upgrade our equipment.' He thought.
Raphtalia lightly snored in her sleep behind him. "Why are you insulting that nice man Master Naofumi?" She talked in her sleep.
'Too bad she's asleep. That mind trick doesn't count if she can't remember it.' He thought with a wide evil grin.
"Daddy, are you thinking something mean?" Filo asked without looking back.
"Of course not." Naofumi dryly said. "Why would you ask that?"
"Daddy has that evil smile on his face. The one he normally gets when he's thinking about doing something rotten."
'... Damn, am I really that easy to read?' Naofumi thought. "You're imagining things Filo. Go back to humming." Naofumi said calmly.
'I mean, one of the main reasons I want to see Jerry is to learn what country is by the border near Dragon Village. Copying more Shields is secondary to that… although I have managed to unlock all the stat bonuses from the copied shields I can access at my level. The bonuses don't amount to much when compared with my Chimera Viper Shield. I need to unlock more bonuses if I want to improve my overall stats while we can't class up.' That meant either hunting down new monsters or copying shields he hadn't copied yet. And copying shields would be a lot easier short term then hunting down new monsters.
"Okay daddy." Filo went back to humming.
'Besides, with all the money we've have made running our peddling and Night Doctor business, I'm sure I can pay Jerry for the chance to copy some of his shields. Along with Erhard for all the Shields he let me copy last time I was in his shop.'
His mind wandered to another possibility with Jerry. 'If there is another Dragon Hourglass in our ten to eleven-day time window, maybe Jerry could help smuggle us out of Melromarc using Filo and her wagon.'
There was only one thing other than time that could ruin that plan… if the country east of Dragon Village was Siltvelt. For reasons, Naofumi refused to go there. And it wasn't just because the few demi-humans he'd met from there had wanted to kill Raphtalia. So his plan all depended on the distance to the eastern border, and the countries that were northeast, east, or southeast of Dragon Village.
'Damn it, I won't know for sure what we should do until we meet with Jerry! And that's if he is at Dragon Village right now or not!' Naofumi berated himself for putting so much thought into possibilities that might not even end up happening if Jerry was away on business.
Naofumi was so lost in thought about the matter, he didn't hear Filo for a few seconds…
… "Daddy? Daddy?"
Naofumi finally shook himself from his thoughts. "What is it, Filo?" He asked with some annoyance in his voice.
"There's someone up ahead. He looks tired to Filo." Filo pointed with one of her wings. Up ahead, there was a person slowly jogging in the middle of the road. He was dressed in normal clothes. He looked to be carrying a vial in one of his hands.
Naofumi changed his Book Shield to his Mask Shield and put the mask back over his face. "Slow down. Let's see what's going on with him."
Filo slowed down as she approached the jogging man. Then he stopped and collapsed in exhaustion as she was about to stop by him. "Hey, are you alright?" Naofumi cursed in his mind as he jumped out.
The man couldn't answer. He looked very worn out. As if he'd been running several marathons all in a row.
"Hey, are you okay? Do you need a hand?" Naofumi calmly asked as he shook the guy.
...
"Please, kind stranger, could you give me a lift in your carriage?" The man said in a worn-out, pleading voice.
"First, I need you to tell me why you're running yourself to exhaustion," Naofumi said calmly as he gave the man a container with water. Despite all his peddling, he'd had as of yet to transport someone from one village to another after the incident with the Accessory Merchant.
The man took deep gulps of water in between ragged breaths. Then he took another moment to calm his breathing to a manageable rate. "I have to get this medicine to the village. The one just past the mountain. It's urgent, I beg you." The man said tiredly. He held up the clear vial of medicine he was holding.
Naofumi pulled out his map. "Is this the village you're talking about?" He asked, pointing to an area north of where they were currently at.
"Yes, that's the one!"
Naofumi inwardly grimaced. It was off the path they were taking to get to Dragon Village. They wouldn't get to Dragon Village until late that night or early the next morning if they did this. "Tell me. How urgent is it?" Naofumi calmly asked.
The man looked up at Naofumi as if he was his last hope. "It's… it's my mother." He admitted. "Her health has been going downhill ever since the last wave. I got the right medicine the first time, but I accidentally dropped it on my way back. I've had to make this trip several times since then trying to find the right medicine for her. The last time I left, she was… she was..." Tears started forcing their way from the man's eyes. "This is my last chance to help her out. Please! I beg you!" He pleaded.
Naofumi looked at the vial in the man's hands. Its item description showed up on his status screen, and he was briefly stunned when he read the description. 'Yggdrasil medicine!' Naofumi thought in astonishment. His medical grimoire had mentioned it in a footnote as being one of the most powerful medicines in this world. And the hardest to make. 'How the hell did this man even manage to afford this?!'
"Please, can you help me?" The man begged again. His eyes shining with tears at the thought that he would honestly lose his mom.
Naofumi wanted to say no. He wanted to say no so badly since they were on a time crunch. But If this man was desperate enough to buy legendary medicine and risk traveling by himself with it... his hero side got the better him. "Fine, we'll help you get to your mom." He said.
The man beamed with happiness on the ground. "Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!"
Naofumi climbed onto the wagon. "Raphtalia. Wake up." He shook her sleeping form with one hand to wake her up. "Filo, how quickly can you get us past that mountain at full speed?" He asked.
"Not too long. Maybe an hour. Filo could probably get us there in fifteen minutes if Filo left her carriage behind." Filo said optimistically.
"*Yawn* Master Naofumi, is something going on?" Raphtalia asked tiredly as she transitioned back to the land of the living.
"We have a man here who needs help getting to his village. I need to leave the wagon behind. Can you safeguard our possessions while I'm gone?" Naofumi asked.
"Thank you! Thank you for doing this!" The man continued to thank Naofumi.
"Don't thank me yet. We'll have to see if we get to your mother in time." Naofumi said dryly to the man.
Raphtalia was blinking in surprise, now trying to comprehend the situation she had just woken up to. "What do you mean Master Naofumi-" She tried to say.
"Don't worry. I'll be back as soon as I can." Naofumi said in an attempt to ease her worries.
Raphtalia was still worried. She still didn't fully understand what was going on, but she quickly realized whatever it was had to be important. "Right. I'll make sure nobody tries to steal our supplies." She said.
"Thank you." He gave her a quick hug. "I'll let you drive Filo with me once we get back."
Filo pushed the wagon to the side of the road and then moved away from the wagon. Naofumi climbed onto her back, holding onto the reins with one hand as he pulled the guy up to sit behind him. "Is this safe?" The man asked.
"Yeah, just make sure you hold on tight," Naofumi said dryly. "Filo, let's go!"
"Righteo," Filo said happily before she burst forward along the road in a blaze of speed.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" The man behind Naofumi screamed in surprise as they hit speeds no human in this world had ever experienced before. Leaving a dust trail in their wake behind them as they disappeared down the road.
Raphtalia watched them leave from the front seat of the wagon. She was still a little surprised to have been left behind the way she had. But the tiredness was fleeing from her mind, and she was beginning to understand what had happened.
"Hopefully they'll get back from treating that patient soon." She said to herself.
Raphtalia jumped off the wagon, pulled her sword out, and started to go through sword forms again.
"Mother. I got you the medicine."
The man Naofumi had picked up earlier stood at the foot of his mother's bed. Holding the vial of medicine unsurely. His mother stirred and weakly opened her eyes to look at her son. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then she started coughing.
"Oh, I really hope I bought the right medicine this time." The man said sadly to himself. "I've never had a good appraisal stat for examining items." His mom looked like she was on death's door. But the son still felt her burning 'Don't be a wimp' gaze striking into him. And as weird as it was for this man to admit it, he'd give anything if it meant his mom would have the energy to berate him again.
Naofumi saw how nervous this man looked and sighed to himself. "Listen, go boil some water. I can give the medicine to your mother." Naofumi said calmly, much to the man's surprise.
"But, but I-" The man started to say.
"Relax. I'm doing this part for free." Naofumi replied calmly, easing the man's worries. "Bringing you here was free too since I'm betting you already paid a lot for that medicine."
The man looked down at the vial. Then he sighed, already knowing it'd be better for this man to give the medicine to his mom. Knowing himself, he'd probably find some way to accidentally mess it up. Just like he had the first time. At least it'd be hard for him to mess up boiling water. He gave the vial to Naofumi and then left the room.
Naofumi took a few seconds to appraise the medicine in his hands. As he thought, he couldn't identify a single ingredient. All he could get was the name. It was so high class that only a master apothecarian could have made it. Which made him wonder again how this man had managed to afford it.
The old lady in bed rolled over and started coughing again. Naofumi threw the thought away and focused on his patient. "I just need a moment," Naofumi said calmly as he used an appraisal skill. After a moment, his status magic screen only showed the lady's almost empty health bar. Her level appeared as ? next to it. 'What the hell?' He hadn't run into this problem before. Normally, by using his appraisal skill, he could pull up somebody's HP bar, level, sickness, and sometimes other health issues. It was his main way of identifying what sickness or ailment the patient was suffering from. But he was getting no information now.
'Either this woman has a stealth stat or something similar to it that's higher than my appraisal level... or she's way above my current level… Yeah right, like that's the reason why.' He thought sarcastically. It was most likely some stealth stat she'd worked on in her early days. There was no way this frail old lady could have been a much higher level than him.
Naofumi pushed the sarcastic thoughts from his mind. This lady was dying. He had to help her. He was going in blind about what her sickness was. But he figured, he was currently holding the most powerful medicine in the world. If this didn't help her, then it was likely nothing would. "Okay. I need you to lie on your back for me now," Naofumi said calmly.
The old lady complied and rolled on her back. "Good. Now all you have to do is drink this." Naofumi said as he raised the vial to her lips. She gave him a weak nod, and then he lifted the vial. Slowly allowing the contents to go down her throat.
When she finished, her body gave off a soft glow. She visibly sighed, and her pale skin started to regain color at a quick rate. Naofumi's stat screen showed that her HP bar was slowly starting to fill up again.
Naofumi sat back, sighing in relief. 'Thank goodness, it worked.' He thought. He had no idea what sickness she'd been suffering from. But whatever it was hadn't stood a chance against the top tier medicine he'd used. His job was done…
... 'I'll watch until the son gets back from his task. Just in case.' He couldn't leave until he felt sure that this old lady was out of the danger zone.
…
A few minutes later
"Ow! Ow ow ow ow ow!" The man dipped his burned hand into a bucket of cold water. The boiling water he'd prepared was all over the floor because he'd accidentally tripped.
"How could I mess up boiling a pot of water?" He said depressedly. It was no wonder why he was still living in his mom's house. He couldn't even accomplish a simple task like that. Unlike his mother.
After a little bit, he gingerly grabbed the handle of the pot. It still had a little hot water in it, but not a lot. He dumped the remainder into a small cup. 'I hope the man treating my mom is better than me.' He thought depressedly. He couldn't even prepare a pot of boiling water without messing things up.
He walked into the room holding the cup, half expecting to be chewed out again-
"Thank you so much."
The man stopped in surprise. "Mother, the medicine… it's helping already?" He asked in surprise.
His mom was sitting up in her bed now. For the first time, her face was relaxed and not twisted in pain. "Yes, the pain went away in an instant." The mother responded. Sounding a little more energetic and relieved with each word she said.
"Oh, thank the Gods." The man had to quickly set the cup of water on the stand next to him. Because he fell down on his knees right after doing that and started to bawl that the medicine had actually worked.
"Thank you, good sir… tell me, what is your name?" The old lady asked curiously, finally beginning to recognize that she didn't know the Masked Man who had given her the medicine.
"My real name is unimportant," Naofumi said calmly. "Nowadays, I go by my title. The Nocturnal Doctor."
"Well whoever you are, you're a godsend." The lady said thankfully, before sitting back in the bed. "I'll be okay now, thanks to both of you."
Naofumi calmly nodded his head. "That's good to hear." He turned to walk towards the exit.
"Wait, Nocturnal Doctor!" Naofumi turned around. The man had managed to get back up off the floor. He then surprised Naofumi by giving him a respectful bow. "I don't have anything to give accept my utmost gratitude and respect. But please, if you stop by our town tonight, feel free to use my house as a place to rest from your journey." He said gratefully.
…
Naofumi studied the man behind his mask for a moment, gauging in his mind if he was being sincere or not. But he was quick to tell the man was being absolutely and honestly sincere. A smile worked its way onto his face, and he turned to leave again. "If we come by this town, I'll keep that in mind." He said, waving a hand over his shoulder at the two of them.
The man said a silent prayer to the Gods. Thanking them for putting the Nocturnal Doctor in his path.
"And who gave you permission to allow random strangers into my house?" The mom calmly asked from her bed.
Her son immediately straightened. "Gah, um, I'm sorry mom! I didn't know what else to do to thank him-" He tried to say, thinking he had messed up again.
The old lady laughed, feeling delighted that it no longer hurt her to do so. "It's okay, my son. The Nocturnal Doctor seems like a good man to me." She opened her eyes to softly smile at him. "I'm so proud of you, my boy." She said genuinely.
The man's eyes widened. He couldn't remember the last time his mom had ever said such words to him. The way she'd been raised and all…
"Now go wipe that look off your face! If we're going to have guests at our house tonight, then I want to make sure this place is clean!" She snapped at him. "Gods know how dusty you've left it wasting all that time trying to purchase the right medicine after you dropped the first one all over my floor!"
"Sorry, mother! I'll get right on it!" The son said, bowing quickly to his mom.
"Don't just stand there blabbering you idiot! Get cleaning!" The mom ordered.
The son quickly ran out of the room, heading for the cupboards with all the cleaning supplies. "And there's the mother I know and love." He said under his breath. Yet he was still smiling as he said it.
He'd missed having his mom around.
A few minutes later
"Dad, is everything okay?"
Naofumi pulled himself out of his train of thought to look up at Filo. She was still running down a mountain path back to the road their wagon was on. She had turned her head to look back at him.
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Naofumi asked curiously.
"Daddy hasn't said one word to Filo since we left that weird man's house. Did something happen inside that Filo isn't aware of?" Filo asked.
Naofumi chuckled a little bit and started ruffling her neck feathers. "No, nothing bad happened. In fact, they offered to let us stay the night in their home. I've been wondering if I should take them up on their offer or not." Naofumi responded honestly.
"Were they nice?" Filo asked.
"Very nice. Nicer than other people I've met." Naofumi said, feeling more uplifted than he had before.
"Then let's go there after we pick up mommy!" Filo said happily.
"Well, the problem Filo is that we were planning on going somewhere else. And…" Naofumi stopped as he thought over what had happened to himself.
It still felt nice to help other people out. And it wasn't like that man and his mom were the only ones in that village. It was a lot closer than Dragon Village currently. They could get there just after sunset, do business as usual, and stay in the man's home for the night. "You know what, maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea." He said.
"Yayyyyy! Filo saw all sorts of fun places she could run around and explore in!" She said happily while running.
A free night would be more than enough in payment for helping out that man and his mom. And based on what he'd seen, he'd have a decent kitchen to cook breakfast before they left for Dragon Village. 'Yeah, I think both Filo and Raphtalia would appreciate that.' Naofumi thought sarcastically. But already, he was liking this idea more than just traveling through the night to get to Dragon Village. 'I'll ask Raphtalia and see if she thinks if it's a good idea or not.' He decided.
Almost on instinct, he checked the corner of his status screen. Though he couldn't see how Raphtalia was doing, he could see her HP gauge and MP gauge. Seeing both of them full let him know she was doing okay back at the wagon.
'I could see her agreeing. And it'd be nice, getting time to relax in a house instead of a crowded inn or the back of a wagon-'
Naofumi's thoughts cut off. Raphtalia's HP gauge had just lowered slightly. 'Raphtalia?' He leaned forward in the real world, focusing on Raphtalia's status bar.
He saw her MP gauge go down a little bit. But her HP gauge didn't go down again. 'I guess Raphtalia was just ambushed by a monster and now she's taking care of it-'
His eyes widened as he saw her HP gauge drop again, but by a larger increment than before. Her MP gauge also took a rapid plunge. Raphtalia never allowed a monster to get more than one hit on her. And for her to plow through MP that quickly meant the situation she was in had to be life or-
Realization hit him. "Filo! We have to get back to Raphtalia now!" Naofumi yelled.
"Huah!"
Raphtalia deflected the sword of the Knight away and then kicked him hard in the stomach, causing him to keel over. She lithely backed away. Parrying the blade of another knight before quickly closing in again and headbutting the poor sap, dropping him to the ground.
"Hah!"
Raphtalia jumped far back, avoiding the spear that dug into the ground where she'd been standing. Motoyasu pulled his spear back out. He was dressed in the same armor as before. Now, however, his previously beat-up silver armor looked cleaned and polished, and his red worn out underrobe had been replaced with a fresh one.
"Mirage Sword!"
Raphtalia disappeared into her illusion magic.
"Chaos Spear!"
Motoyasu unleashed his skill in the area she had just been standing. Instead of just keeping it to that area though, he quickly spread his quick thrusts outwards around him. Turning his piercing attack into an AoE attack. His strategy worked.
Raphtalia reappeared from her illusion to the side of him. She quickly backed away while gasping in pain. She held a hand to the new bleeding thigh wound she'd received from Motoyasu's skill. She had another bleeding gut wound to worry about too. She kept one hand gripping her sword, however, to defend herself.
"Why, why are you doing this Spear Hero!?" Raphtalia asked angrily.
The knights fighting with Motoyasu gathered behind him. There were several squads of men. Myne was nowhere to be seen. Behind them was the wagon she was supposed to protect. The Knights were ignoring it for now, but it cut her off from any HP and MP potions that could have helped her with this fight.
Motoyasu grimaced but held to his spear tightly. "I don't want to hurt you anymore Raphtalia. I just want to know where Naofumi is." He said calmly.
"Why?! What did he ever do to you?!" Raphtalia asked angrily.
"Naofumi raped the royal princess!" Motoyasu said stubbornly. "He has to answer for his crimes-"
"How can you still believe that pig! After all the pain she's tried to cause to Naofumi!?" She yelled at him. He again clutched his spear tightly. "Please, Sir Spear Hero! A part of you has to know that the Princess has been lying to you! That she's been lying to everyone around her for who knows how long-"
Motoyasu spun his spear. "Meteor Thrust!"
Raphtalia gasped in surprise and tried to jump back from the skill that came out of a portal above her. However, the wound in her leg impeded her jump, and she didn't jump out of the way in time.
Boom!
Raphtalia was caught on the edge of the explosion. It sent her flying back several dozen feet before she impacted hard against the rocky ground of the road. She coughed and felt blood in her mouth. She had bitten her tongue when she hit the ground. A small pool of blood was forming beneath her from her now screaming wounds.
Had that attack hit her head on, she realized she wouldn't have survived.
When the smoke cleared, it showed a large crater in the road. Along with one angry-looking Motoyasu. "I don't believe you!" Motoyasu yelled angrily. "My friends would never lie to me! There's no way that would happen! It's all Naofumi's fault!"
Raphtalia held her side and thigh, forcing down whimpers of pain that wanted to escape. She looked up again, only to gasp in surprise at the crazed look in Motoyasu's eyes. They weren't the same as before. No, they were filled with some emotion. Was it envy, but that didn't feel right. Was it that he was in pain? Then she realized that it was a mixture of both.
It was like a part of him knew that Myne had lied to him. That the King had lied to him. That, even now, what he was saying was a lie. Naofumi was the real hero and he was not. But believing a lie felt better than believing the truth. Because the truth would have meant that he had been the bad guy all this time. And because of that, he envied Naofumi for having everything. For having people who respected him for being a hero despite being an outcast. For doing something heroic that saved the lives of many fair maidens in Lute. And for having a beautiful fair maiden, who, even now, was sacrificing her own life for his sake.
"Sir, Sir Spear Hero-" Raphtalia tried to say.
"I'll give you one last chance! Where is Naofumi!?" Motoyasu angrily demanded while pointing his spear threateningly at Raphtalia. He didn't care now. Raphtalia was in his way. He had to get Naofumi and make him pay for everything he'd done. "Tell me, or I'll end you right now Raphtalia!"
...
Raphtalia painfully stood up. Her body was wracked with pain. She felt like passing out, but her eyes glinted with determination as she raised her sword. She glared at the Spear Hero and the Knights behind him.
Her bad leg strained to hold her up, and the pain was almost overwhelming. But she stood, defiantly. "You will never have him." She said, each word sounding colder than ice. "I won't let you."
...
Motoyasu scowled. "Have it your way." He raised his spear to launch another skill.
"Air Strike Shield!"
Before Motoyasu could react, a green shield slammed into his stomach. Spittle flew from his mouth as the force of it sent him flying back between the knights. "Huh?" "What?" A few of them started to say in surprise.
"High Quick!"
Suddenly, a large, familiar owl-shaped bird started appearing and disappearing in the midst of the knights. Kicking out left and right, and swinging her wings in between each appearance. Filo sent one knight after the other flying.
"Raphtalia, are you okay?!"
Raphtalia quickly turned, collapsing on her bad leg as she did so, but Naofumi caught her under her shoulder before she fell. "Master Naofumi. You made it." She said, her eyes shining with happiness.
"Of course I did," Naofumi said, flashing her a small smile. "I told you I watch your HP gauge when I'm not around."
"N-Naofumi," Motoyasu growled as he got back up.
"Hey Motoyasu, did you do this to Raphtalia?!" Naofumi angrily asked.
"Of course it was me!" Motoyasu said angrily. A large bird that had been busy beating up all the knights gasped when she heard that. "And now, I'm going to do the same thing to you for-"
"You were the one that hurt Filo's mommy!" Filo yelled as she appeared in front of Motoyasu, stopping him in his tracks.
"Yep, that's the Spear Hero for you Filo," Naofumi said sarcastically. "Always trying to find some way to hurt us."
Motoyasu was momentarily confused by this large fat bird and the fact that this bird was saying he'd hurt her mommy. Quickly looking around showed there were no other birds like Filo anywhere nearby. 'What the hell is this big fat bird talking about-' He was so distracted he didn't notice what was coming until it was too late.
"Spear guy is a very bad guy for hurting Filo's mommy!"
Whack!
Naofumi had to slow down what happened next in his brain so he could fully capture the kick Filo had just delivered to Motoyasu.
Filo had been in a ready stance, which meant she was able to use the full strength of her leg as she kicked. The kick itself first parted the bottom part of Motoyasu's robes as he was trying to figure out who this bird was talking about. His eyes began the process of widening as his brain rapidly ignited, letting the body know the danger it was in. But even with all those synapses firing off saying to jump the hell back, it was already too late. The kick connected. Filo's foot looked to sink in as far up as Motoyasu's gut. And as Motoyasu flew up into the air, he came to understand in part the pain a woman in labor felt. His insides contracted. Pain, unbelievable pain, lanced up his spine into his skull. His second brain felt like it had been crushed along with his crotch.
In short, Motoyasu was sent flying into the air from a kick to his crotch. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" His screaming in extreme pain sounded on a pitch that would have sent dogs running and made opera singers envious.
Naofumi, as well as the rest of the knights, stared in shock. 'Whoa…' He started to smile widely. 'Filo, that one kick made all the effort of raising you worth it.' He thought. He finally understood what it meant to be proud of your kids for doing something great. 'Oh man, you're going to eat good tonight Filo. I'll see to that myself.'
"Are you thinking something rude Naofumi?" Raphtalia asked.
"Are you seriously asking me that in the middle of a battle?" Naofumi glared at Raphtalia for ruining his thought process. Was it bad for him to enjoy Motoyasu getting his just deserts?
Filo set her foot back down and harrumphed. "Did I do good kicking the bad guy Daddy?" She asked.
"Filo, you did so good that you earned yourself an all you can eat buffet," Naofumi said proudly.
"Yayyyyy!" Filo cheered.
"Naofumi! You shouldn't be rewarding our daughter for kicking people!" Raphtalia argued. She was badly hurt, and the knights were watching them in stunned amazement. Yet, she was still worried about Naofumi raising their daughter incorrectly.
Speaking of the knights, they finally seemed to come to their senses. "Grab him!" "Take down the Shield Demon!"
They charged at the three of them. Filo took a stance next to Naofumi. "Shall I deal with these bad men too Daddy?" She asked.
Naofumi was about to answer when Raphtalia's other leg gave out. She looked exhausted and pale. There was another small pool of blood gathering beneath her. 'Damn it! I was so entranced by Filo kicking Motoyasu that I forgot to heal Raphtalia!' He thought in a panic.
"Filo! Get mom to the wagon!" He threw Raphtalia onto her back and then held his shield up.
Both Filo and Raphtalia looked to Naofumi in surprise. "But, but what about you?" Raphtalia asked.
"I'll distract them while you get the wagon! Don't worry about me! Get to the wagon, find my HP potions, and bandage up whatever they can't heal!" Naofumi's shield changed to the Chimera Viper Shield. "Now, Shield Prison!"
Several of the Knights in the middle of the charging group were suddenly surrounded in a ball of chains and plates. "Go!" Naofumi ordered.
Filo quickly secured Raphtalia on her back with her wings. Then she ran to the wall of the cliff face, latched onto it with her claws, and started to run sideways over some of the Knights. "Stop that bird!" One of the Squad Captains yelled.
"Fast Tornado!" A tornado of wind burst from Filo, kicking up dust and clearing some of the knights that charged for her out of the way.
"Air Strike Shield!"
Naofumi pointed, and three charging knights tripped over a shield that appeared in front of their legs, tumbling them to the ground. Naofumi then pointed at the Shield Prison as it was about to disappear. "Change Shield. Animal Needle Paralysis Shield!"
Screams of pain came from inside as porcupine needles suddenly lined the interior of the Shield Prison. Then the ball of plates and chains disappeared, dropping the paralyzed knights onto the ground.
"Oof!" A knight tried to tackle Naofumi from behind, but Naofumi's high defense stat made it feel like the Knight had just tried to tackle a brick wall.
Naofumi gripped the knight by the top of his chest plate and lifted him up. "Thanks for volunteering to be my balloon,"
Before the Knight could make sense of that, Naofumi turned and threw the knight with surprising force at the three knights who'd tripped over his shield. Instead of being hit by Naofumi's attack stat, the men were hit with the force of a flying knight in armor. The four went tumbling, almost rolling over the cliff face.
"Huahhhh!" Motoyasu finally came running in, screaming several octaves higher than normal as he used his spear to try and thrust at Naofumi. He, however, was still very much in pain from a hit that had almost nearly incapacitated him. And the attack didn't have as much strength behind it as it should have.
Naofumi blocked the spear with his Chimera Viper Shield. "My name is Motoyasu Kitamura! And I'm not letting you get away this time Naofumi!" Motoyasu roared angrily.
Naofumi narrowed his eyes. After Filo's kick, he figured he could handle Motoyasu easily. "Hook!"
The viper detached from Naofumi's shield and bit down on Motoyasu's arm in between his new armored greaves. "Ahhhhhh!" Motoyasu yelled angrily. "You think one bite is going to stop me!?"
Naofumi was surprised. Then a burst of energy came off of Motoyasu, sending Naofumi tumbling back.
Naofumi grimaced. 'What the hell?!' He could have sworn the ability that had freaked Motoyasu out last time in their duel would hurt him more. And now Motoyasu looked really angry and was holding a new sinister looking spear. "I'm taking back everything you took from me!" He yelled angrily.
"What are you blabbering about now-" Naofumi was asking when Motoyasu jumped at Naofumi with such speed that Naofumi barely raised his Shield to defend himself in time. The Legendary Spear slammed into the Shield with more force than anything else Naofumi had blocked before. A shockwave came out from the hit, which almost sending Naofumi flying again. 'Holy hell! Wasn't he just incapacitated because of Filo's kick!?' Naofumi thought as he jumped back, avoiding another strike from the crazed Spear Hero. The strike made another crater in the ground.
"Ha!" Another knight tried to slash at Naofumi from behind. But the sword broke at the hilt when it against Naofumi's armor. Naofumi then jumped out of the way and watched as Motoyasu's Spear barely missed impaling the stunned knight.
"Get out of my way! Naofumi is mine!" Motoyasu grabbed the knight by his collar and threw him at the cliff face so he could continue fighting Naofumi. The knight hit the rock wall so hard that an indent crater was left behind, and he collapsed unconscious.
'What's gotten into Motoyasu-' Naofumi thought. Actually fearing for his life now.
"Air Strike Javelin!" Motoyasu yelled out a skill. His spear glowed and released a familiar green javelin at Naofumi. He remembered what had happened last time he'd tried to block it with a skill and instead used his own shield to block the impact.
Naofumi was knocked back by the explosion. His health gauge shrunk a little even though he'd managed to successfully block Motoyasu's skill. "Master Naofumi!" Naofumi looked, seeing that Filo had managed to grab the wagon, and Raphtalia was waving for him to run.
Motoyasu charged forward again, yelling as he prepared to unleash another assault on Naofumi. It was then that Naofumi saw he wasn't seeing things. Motoyasu was moving around faster than normal, and he'd definitely powered up. He couldn't face him in a head-on fight without getting himself killed.
"MegaPhone!" Naofumi quickly changed to the Voice Gengar Shield using the voice command and brought it to his mouth. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Motoyasu stopped in his tracks and covered his ears. Naofumi's voice was nowhere near as loud and shrill as Filo's when she yelled into it. But it did amplify the scream, and Motoyasu was close enough that it hurt. With Motoyasu not moving, Naofumi quickly put his last-ditch ploy into play.
"Air Strike Shield! Lasso!" Naofumi quickly shouted one after the other.
A green shield appeared behind Motoyasu, and then rope burst from it. In one quick move, Naofumi had Motoyasu wrapped to the Air Strike Shield, struggling to move his upper body. "Damn it! Stop it with your stupid tricks!" Motoyasu yelled angrily as he tried to free himself. His awkward position, however, made it hard for him to maneuver his spear to cut the rope.
'Something is definitely wrong with him! But hopefully, this should distract him long enough.'
He ran away from the fight. Filo ran, using more wind spells to clear the knights out of her path that were dumb enough to think they could stop a few hundred-pound chicken pulling over a ton of weight behind her. She jumped the crater Motoyasu had made in the road earlier, and Raphtalia held on for dear life as the wagon jumped the crater with Filo.
"Master Naofumi!"
Filo was running past on his right. Raphtalia reached out from the back of the wagon to grab his outstretched hand.
Just as Naofumi's hand was about to grab hers. A loud shout came from behind.
"METEOR THRUST!"
Naofumi's eyes widened. Motoyasu had been tied to the Air Strike Shield, but he could still launch that skill from a portal by spinning his spear!
The portal formed in the air above and behind the wagon. 'No… he's… he's trying to destroy our only chance of escape!'
He knew from experience that his Shield Prison couldn't stand against the skill, even before Motoyasu had powered up. His Air Strike Shield was already in use. He was still a couple of levels off from being able to use the Meteor Shield. And if Motoyasu could injure Filo and take down the wagon, with Raphtalia still hurt and unable to run…
Naofumi reacted instinctively. Instead of grabbing Raphtalia's hand. He jumped in front of the portal, right as the biggest, bluest blast of energy he'd ever seen came barreling out of it at him.
Boom!
What happened in the few seconds after that was a blur. He could remember himself flying, longer than he'd ever flown before. His arm was numb from blocking the force of that blast. His HP Bar had also dropped a good half from the power behind the hit. It was a miracle he had even survived. In his spinning and flailing when he couldn't tell what was up and what was down, he couldn't think straight.
"OOF!" Naofumi suddenly slammed into the hard ground. Like a car slamming into a brick wall. He had just fallen 75 feet and flown a good distance from the road up above.
"Naofumi!"
Naofumi's eyes cleared a little, and he saw Raphtalia up above holding to the wagon. The back covering of the wagon had been burned away, but the rest of the wagon was still intact and being pulled by Filo. Both of them were looking down at him in horror.
"I'm fine! Get out of here before Motoyasu launches another skill!" Naofumi yelled up to them as he stood back up. His HP gauge had fallen another fourth from that fall. Much like long ago when he'd jumped from the second story of the inn onto the streets of the Capital. Leveling up his defense really had done wonders for him. But now he was at around 25% health.
"But-" Raphtalia tried to say.
"Now!" "Take down the Shield Hero while he's weak!"
A squad of five knights that had been hiding out down below just in case Naofumi tried to escape that way burst from their hiding places. All five tackled Naofumi back down to the ground. Raphtalia gasped in shock up above.
"Don't worry! I'll catch up! Get out of here before Motoyasu kills you both!" Naofumi yelled up at them from under the Capital Knights. A few of which were trying to hack at him with their swords. Had they been working together as those Church Knights had long ago in the arena, they could have combined their defense skills and outclassed his defense in a grapple move. They had worked together to tackle him down. But each was swiping one at a time, and they weren't even giving him a paper cut. Barely an itching feeling on his skin. And without all five working together, they were finding it very hard to force him into a grapple effect.
"Hook!"
One of the knights trying to hold a leg down screamed as he got bit.
"Huah!" Naofumi deflected a Knight's sword at just the right moment, causing it to instead slash into the armor of one of his compatriots.
"Augh!" The Knight who got slashed screamed in pain as he let go of Naofumi's arm.
Up above, Filo was still running, but looking down below as the area where Naofumi was fighting disappeared from view. "We have to do something, Mommy!" Filo yelled in worry.
Raphtalia was in the back of the wagon, trying to find where Naofumi had stored his various potions in the crates. She needed to use several HP Potions to recover now so she could help! But the explosion had made a mess in the back of the wagon. And looking back down the road, she saw Knights on horseback trying to pursue them. "Filo, run as fast as you can! Try to find the closest path down to Naofumi up ahead!" Raphtalia yelled to Filo.
"Okay! I think I remember one up ahead mommy!" Filo said determinedly. She started running harder than ever, and the knights chasing them on horseback fell behind, and then out of sight.
Raphtalia kept on looking but glanced through the back of the wagon down at the forest below where Naofumi was fighting the Knights. 'Please, just fight for long enough so that we can find you.' Raphtalia thought in worry. She finally found and grabbed an HP potion from a crate that had been stuffed away in the bottom of the pile, and began to drink it.
"Lasso!"
Naofumi thrust forward with a thing of rope at one of the remaining knights that tried to back away. Roping him around the chest. "Ah! Ahhhh!" The Knight screamed in terror.
With a mighty tug, Naofumi swung the Knight through the air into the last standing knight.
"Shield Prison! Change Shield! Animal Needle Paralysis Shield!"
In quick succession, the last two knights were encased in the infamous Shield Prison, and Naofumi felt almost the rest of his SP get used as he punctured the knights inside with porcupine needles dripping with paralysis venom. The Shield Prison dissipated, and the two knights dropped to the ground. Unable to move. Around Naofumi, the three other knights were either unconscious or trying to take anti-venom for their bite wounds.
'Alright, now with them out of the way-'
"Naofumi!"
Naofumi turned just as Motoyasu slid the rest of the way down the cliff face, digging his spear into the wall to slow him down enough that he took no fall damage when he hit the ground. He stood awkwardly and still spoke an octave higher than normal, but he still looked angry and willing to fight. His spear was still cloaked with a mysterious sinister aura. "It's time we end this!" He said, raising his spear at Naofumi before he charged forward again.
Naofumi grimaced and held up his shield in a defensive pose. He didn't even have enough SP for one more Hook move. He barely had the SP for an Air Strike Shield. And after Motoyasu's last attack, another Meteor Thrust would very likely kill him. "Damn it Motoyasu!? I haven't even done anything bad since our last duel-" He started to say.
"Shut your mouth Naofumi!" Motoyasu said angrily as he slammed his spear into Naofumi's shield again. Naofumi's already numb arm burned from the force behind the attack. "You've done plenty of bad things! You turned the people of Lute Village against me! You took the miracle I gave the town of Leruno and mutated it into a monster! You made me doubt my friends and live in exile for a long time! Everything is your fault!"
"What the hell are you talking about Motoyasu?! I wasn't even near Lute when all that crap went down. And I've never heard of a town named Leruno before-"
"Shut up!" Motoyasu slammed his spear into Naofumi's shield again, and Naofumi flew back into a tree. "The Shadows already told me you'd try to lie to me again so that you could brainwash me into letting you rape and pillage your way to Shieldfreeden! I won't allow it!"
'Shadows? Does he mean the Church Shadows?' Despite the thought, Naofumi felt himself getting pissed. He'd imagined his next meet up with Motoyasu being somewhat better than this after his experiences with the other heroes. "Are you trying to act like an idiot!?" Naofumi asked Motoyasu angrily. "I don't know how to mutate something into a monster! I haven't raped or pillaged from any towns! Hell, I've been traveling around as a freaking night merchant! Selling medicine to those who need it! If you had only looked in the back of my wagon you would have seen the truth-"
"STOP LYING TO ME!"
Naofumi was stunned by the force in Motoyasu's voice. He was clutching his spear angrily, and his eyes looked even more crazed. "You're a monster! A horrible monster! You're brainwashing poor Raphtalia into loving you! You're the one who turned my friends against me! You're brainwashing everyone you meet to turn against me, and I'm going to stop you!" Motoyasu yelled with determination, taking on a fighting stance. "I'm going to turn you in and take everything you took away from me back! My friends, my honor, my status, my money, everything!"
Naofumi grimaced. 'What the hell?' This was different. Motoyasu had always seemed like more of an easy-going skirt chaser. But his tone, his stance, his eyes, everything was different. Everything about him screamed that he genuinely thought that Naofumi was a monster. 'Why is he acting like this? Bitch isn't around to control him or anything. So why?'
"... Motoyasu, do you really think that I'm a monster?" Naofumi asked seriously.
... Motoyasu looked a little confused by Naofumi's question. "What?" He asked.
"Think about it. If I'm raping and pillaging. If I'm going around killing everyone I meet... if I'm brainwashing Raphtalia... to love me…" He had to pause to say that last part, because of how cruel it sounded. Did Motoyasu really think he'd sink that low? "Then why did I protect her from that skill of yours? Why didn't I use it as an opportunity to escape? You can see how much that cost me. I have no SP, and I'm at low health. So why? Why did I do it Motoyasu?! Is that the action of a monster?!"
...
Motoyasu looked unsure how to respond to that. In his opinion, Naofumi hadn't needed to use his own shield to block the skill. He could have let his two party members get hurt in the blast so he could escape. And yet he hadn't. He lowered his spear, which lost some of its sinister aura. "No…"
"Then please, just listen to me for one moment-" Naofumi started to say. Maybe he could still somehow reason with him.
He felt something slightly prick his neck, causing him to gasp in surprise.
"Good job Spear Hero." A familiar-looking nun came out of the underbrush. A pair of Church Shadows flanking her. "You distracted the Shield Devil perfectly."
"M-Motoyasu-" Naofumi's voice started to slur.
Motoyasu's thoughtful look was replaced with a sad look. "I'm sorry Naofumi. It has to be this way." He said, sadly holding his spear to the side. "I can't fail again. I need what you have back."
Naofumi dizzily felt at his neck and pulled out a familiar-looking dart. A little drop of his blood was on the tip. It had barely pricked his skin because of his defense stat. But the concealed, high-leveled Church Shadow's attack stat, combined with the minute (pronounced min-ute) sharpness of the single tranquilizer dart had been enough. It had pierced him, and it had delivered its contents into his system.
His eyesight starting to dim, and he staggered as he tried to stay standing. "You bastard… I didn't do… anything wrong..." Naofumi drawled, feeling tiredness encroaching on him.
"You've done plenty wrong Shield Demon." Altara said accusingly. "And now, the time at last has come to make you pay."
Naofumi stumbled forward, reaching for Motoyasu.
Motoyasu backed away, letting Naofumi fall to the ground. "I need to bring you in Naofumi. I need you to fall if I ever want to rise to what I was before."
Naofumi couldn't keep his eyes open. The tranquilizer quickly putting him to sleep. The sinister aura disappeared off of Motoyasu's spear as he turned to speak with the most hateful nun Naofumi had ever met.
'Damn… I should have seen this coming... I'm sorry Raphtalia… Filo… I won't be… cooking that all you can eat buffet for you two… after all…'
Naofumi felt cuffs being placed on his wrists, and then he passed out.
Thirty Minutes Later
The wheels of the wagon rattled against the rocks on the ground. The cliff face of the road passed high on their left. On their right, the trees of the forest reached out to the sky. Thunder boomed up above, and rain started to fall.
Raphtalia sat in the driver's seat despite the falling rain. She clung to Filo's reins like a lifeline. Her injuries had all been healed up thanks to Naofumi's potions, and her MP bar was almost full. 'Naofumi… please be okay…' She thought in worry.
It had taken them longer than she'd hoped to find a path down the cliff into the forest. It'd also taken them some time to find a route through the trees that their wagon could fit through. And with Filo pulling the wagon, the extra weight slowed her down. The mud forming from the rain would only make things worse if they didn't get to Naofumi soon. 'Please, please let him be okay.' Raphtalia prayed as she kept a lookout for Naofumi and for danger.
The trees thinned out into a small clearing, and Filo stopped. "Filo, what is it… No…" Raphtalia whispered at the end.
"Daddy…" Filo whimpered.
Damage had been done to the trees all around because of Naofumi's struggles with the knights. There was a Naofumi shaped impact crater filling with rainwater. Bark and branches littered the ground alongside bits and pieces of armor. Their owners were long gone. The area was empty. Except for the broken soldier's armor and weapons, and one other major thing.
"They… they took daddy…"
Raphtalia jumped out of the wagon and ran up to what was lying on the ground. "No, Gods please no!" Left to rust/rot away in the weather was Naofumi's Barbarian Armor. His breastplate, his arm guards, his leg guards, all of it. Discarded by the people who had captured him. The intent was obvious. Naofumi would no longer need them where they were taking him.
"No… NO!"
Raphtalia picked up the breastplate, tears appearing in the corner of her eyes as she saw her own sad reflection staring back at her. The rain continued to fall against it, blurring her image with the small droplets of water. She hugged the breastplate close. "NAOFUMIIIIIIII!"
She'd failed him. The moment he'd needed her the most, she'd failed him… if only she hadn't gotten herself hurt. If only she hadn't been taken by surprise when Motoyasu attacked. If only a million other things she could have done had happened, then maybe this wouldn't have happened.
...
"Mommy…"
…
"Mom!"
Raphtalia looked up, and saw Filo looking at the ground. She sniffed, not having realized that she'd been crying the whole time. "What is it Filo?" She asked, wiping away rain and tears from her face.
"Mom! We can't give up now! Daddy still needs us!" Filo yelled. Her eyes flamed with determination and indignation that Naofumi had been taken away from their family. "Dad never gave up on us! Now we can't give up on him!"
Raphtalia blinked in surprise at Filo. This Filolial, who thought of them as her parents… Raphtalia's face hardened with her own determination. "You're right. We can't give up now!"
She grabbed Naofumi's armor and placed it in her inventory. She'd hand it back to Naofumi herself, even if it was the last thing she'd ever do. She then jumped into the driver's seat, and grabbed Filo's reins. "Filo! We're going to the Capital!" She ordered Filo.
"Okay!… …" Filo didn't move.
…
"Um, mommy, where is the Capital?" She asked.
…
Raphtalia had a facepalm moment. 'Filo's never been there before… and Master Naofumi held all the maps of Melromarc.' She realized. She knew where they'd been before. She could remember the Capital being northwest of them. But she didn't know where since they had only gone there twice, and the first time was while they were smuggled away in the back of a wagon.
"First, let's head back to the town you and Naofumi visited to get directions." Raphtalia took the more logical approach. "Then, we'll go save Master Naofumi!" She said determinedly.
"Okay!" Filo yelled with more excitement. She turned the wagon around, and then booked it at high speed back the way they came. Raphtalia held tightly to the reins. Despite the sense of loss she felt, she smiled. The reasons why being: one, she was glad that she wouldn't be impeded by motion sickness for the ride that was to come. And two, because she was determined not to give up on Naofumi. She was going to break into the Capital, rescue him, return his armor, and, if she was forced too, she was going to fulfill the promise she made back in the duel arena after standing up for him.
'Those knights are dead.' Raphtalia thought, determination shining in both her and Filo's eyes. If they had inflicted any kind of harm on Naofumi…
Well, she'd repay them in kind. Tenfold.
Author's Notes:
You know, for some reason, I kind of like moments like what happened here at the end the best. Moments where realization hits, and what seemed like a simple task turns out not to be so simple. Kind of like life giving the characters a slap to the face.
So Naofumi has been captured and is being taken to the Capital. Where a long-awaited trial will finally commence. Ouch, it's going to suck to be him. At least we'll have a character introduced the next chapter that I hinted at a while back. Let's hope all goes well in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed this one!
Also, the following omake was inspired by Shield Hero Abridged on Youtube. If you haven't seen the first Episode for it yet, I'd recommend watching it to understand the punchline.
Hero Clips!
My Name is Motoyasu Kitamura
"My name is Motoyasu Kitamura! And I'm not letting you get away this time Naofumi!"
Naofumi blocked Motoyasu's attack. "I don't know. Don't you think that introduction sounds a little too villainous for a hero?" Naofumi asked while blocking the Spear.
...
Motoyasu thought about it. "Yeah, you're right."
The two took a step back from each other to think the issue over. "Now that you say it, that kind of introduction doesn't sound very heroic to me." Motoyasu said.
"Yeah, it seems to… edgy." Naofumi said.
"I need to think of something else to say… Wait, I got it!" He leveled his spear again. "My name is Motoyasu Kitamura, and I'm going to avenge my friends!"
"Have I been hurting your friends lately?" Naofumi asked curiously.
"Ugh, no, you're right. That isn't it either." Motoyasu said as he relaxed his stance and got back to thinking.
"Maybe drop saying your last name. It makes the introduction sound too long, and maybe it'll help make it easier to think of what to say next." Naofumi suggested.
"Alright, I'll give it a try!" Motoyasu readied his spear again. "My name is Motoyasu, and I'm the one that's going to take you down!"
"A little better. But I still think it needs some fine-tuning." Naofumi said blandly.
"Damn it!" Motoyasu repeated his pose. "My name is Motoyasu the Love Seeker, and I'm gonna-"
"Love Seeker?" Naofumi interrupted.
"Sorry. My spin-off got to me for a moment there." Motoyasu apologized.
"Try again."
"My name is Motoyasu! And… um… damn it! I can't think of something good to say after that!"
"Try thinking about this. What has been your greatest desire since coming to this world?" Naofumi suggested tiredly. How much longer was this going to go on? Was it really that hard to come up with a nice introduction? "Then put it into words when you introduce yourself."
"My greatest desire… Alright! I've got it! This will blow everyone away!" Motoyasu took an offensive stance. "My name is Motoyasu and I'm going to make love to this spear!"
…
Naofumi was stunned. Actually, scratch that. Human words wouldn't have sufficed the shock he felt at Motoyasu saying such a thing.
"Huh, don't you think that's like the best introduction ever?" Motoyasu asked. "Sometimes, I imagine my Spear being the embodiment of some cute angel waifu, and with much I'm into angels..." Motoyasu trailed off while dreamily looking at his Spear.
"... yeah… I'd like to order a mind wipe before the next chapter please Author." Naofumi said while facepalming.
Some things just weren't meant to be said... or remembered.
Till Next Time
Allen