A/N (Please read!) - Dated Feb. 11, 2020
Happy hearts month! This update was supposed to be released last week, but I was busy in continuing to edit the previous chapters and I wanted to be done with them before the release.
I just edited Chapters VIII to X, so feel free to check it out! I added more interactions between Serana and Remus, and improved any dumbass writing I could find. Just to make things clear, I edit because whenever I re-read, I always find story discrepancies and cringe parts so I had to fix them.
When I first wrote Through My Blood, I just wanted to write a Male DB x Serana fanfic lmao. But this time, I managed to finalize what I really wanted to do in this story including the timelines (like how Remus became a thief assassin bounty hunter adventurer/Dragonborn). This is why editing is a lot easier now.
Not sure if I'd be able to write a prequel once I finish writing this since I'd be busy with a job irl, but we'll see.
The following weeks would be a little tough for me because I'd have lesser time to write. I have so many silent readers so please, if you can, please leave a review/comment so I could read what you think about my progress/story. It really means a lot and gives me drive to write more.
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! By the end of it, just know that I really tried... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Slowly, Remus dragged himself back inside the cabin. He carefully closed the door behind him.
Briefly, he touched his lips.
That's… revenge. For that thing you pulled on me back in Morthal.
His heart was already throbbing fast but thinking about Serana's face as she said that made it beat even faster.
"What… was that?!" he suddenly screamed.
He also wondered why he couldn't stop smiling. His heart was pounding so fast, he even started to sweat.
What did he do in Morthal?
He paused for a few moments, trying to remember.
Once he did, he shouted at the top of his lungs in embarrassment. Thinking about what he did flustered him even more.
Why did he do that?
Why did he kiss Serana back in Morthal?
He walked towards the bed and sat down. For a full minute, he spaced out. All of a sudden, that kiss from earlier popped up once more in his head. He slapped himself to snap out of it.
Gods damn it… this is all her fault…
He looked at the steel bowl placed on the nightstand beside him. He could clearly see his face subconsciously smiling again.
Remus voluntarily stopped his lips from curving and laid down the bed. His eyes were tired and weary but he just couldn't sleep.
At the moment, all his mind is capable of is think about Serana.
He always harbored strong feelings towards her. He didn't know when it started but all he knew was he cared for her deeply.
But, right now, he's confused. His heart is now speaking louder to him than it used to.
Once all of this is over, what would he do? Is he even going to be a part of the happy and normal life he wanted Serana to have?
Over that thought, his throbbing heart slowed down, yet he felt a numb ache for some reason.
After a several minutes of deep thought, he let his weariness take over him and lull him to sleep.
The next morning, Remus shuffled out of bed. With eyes half closed, he looked around. He saw Serana sitting on a chair, her body slumped over on the table as she slept.
Remus wanted her to sleep comfortably, but he also didn't want to disturb her. He hovered over her and placed a blanket over her body. He knew that the woman was impervious to cold, but he did it anyway.
The room was silent, Remus could clearly hear Serana's light snores. He lowered himself and moved his head close to Serana's sleeping face.
She looked so defenseless and innocent, making Remus smile.
"It's a sleeping day for you, huh?" Remus softly whispered. "You could've slept on the bed."
Obviously, there was no response. Remus stared at the vampiress for a good few seconds before getting back up. He strapped his armor back to his body.
He donned his hood before looking at his mask placed at the end table.
He's not going to need it today. What he needs is a long walk to clear his head. Or maybe even visit his home nearby.
Remus summoned two familiars to stand guard for Serana. He also left a short note that he'd be back soon, just so the vampiress won't go out looking for him.
He glanced back once last time at the sleeping Serana.
"Sleep well, I'd be back soon." he uttered before closing the door behind him.
Lydia just finished doing all the chores she had to do at Lakeview Manor. It was two hours past noon. As she was walking back to the manor from the animal pen, she spotted a dark figure approaching the residence.
She immediately drew her sword.
"Stay right there, stranger!" she shouted. The dark figure stopped dead on his tracks. Seeing an unknown person stumble upon Lakeview Manor deep in the forest made Lydia uneasy.
Bandits occasionally came over to raid, but before they could even take a step anywhere remotely near the manor, they were easily dealt with by the housecarls, primarily because of Rayya's superb scouting skills.
But today, Rayya isn't around. She has some business she needed to attend to with the Jarl at Falkreath.
"This land is protected by the Thane of Falkreath, the Dragonborn himself. Get lost!"
The unknown person stopped briefly and seemed to shake a little. Then he started walking toward her once more. Lydia's eyes narrowed in dismay.
"Then you leave me no choice!"
"Seriously? You're gonna kill me on my own land?" the mysterious figure suddenly spoke, in between laughter.
"Wha—"
Remus removed his hood so the housecarl could identify him before flashing her a grin.
The housecarl's face lit up upon recognizing Remus, but her expression changed back into a calmer demeanor.
She sheathed her sword and slightly bowed her head. "Honored to see you again, my Thane."
Remus rolled his eyes. "Seriously? We didn't see each other for a long time. You're literally my first housecarl, Lydia. Stop with the formalities." He grinned as he walked towards her.
"Well then…" Lydia paced herself to meet him halfway. As soon as they're close enough, she planted her fist right into the man's stomach.
Despite wearing armor, the housecarl's strength and the density of her gauntlet resonated through Remus' stomach as he crumpled down the ground.
"What was that for?!" he groaned as he squirmed on the ground, writhing in pain.
"You finally come back to Skyrim and you don't even visit as early as you can? You're unbelievable!" Lydia chided as she gave Remus a soft kick while he was on the ground.
"Did you just kick me?!"
"I heard about what happened at Ivarstead. I even checked out the dragon bones that were left, but I didn't tell anyone anything assuming you'd come visit… but now, here we are!"
The housecarl turned her back on him and started walking back to the manor. She glanced back briefly, "I'm going to have lunch. Come if you want to eat."
Remus picked himself up, gently stroking his stomach. He scratched his head as he mumbled to himself, "Tch, when others are present, she's a kiss-ass… but when no one's around… she's violent…"
"What did you just say?!"
"No, no! Nothing…!"
Once inside the manor, the entryway surprised Remus as its walls have been decorated with more trophy heads from hunts.
"Where's Rayya? She couldn't be here." Remus asked as he sat down on one of the in-home benches.
"She's at Falkreath, she has business with the Jarl. She won't be home for days at least." With an eyebrow raised, Lydia turned to face Remus. "How did you know she wasn't here?"
"If she was here you wouldn't even dare lift a finger on me." Remus nonchalantly answered as he relaxed on his seat. "I thought she'd be around since you greeted me nicely at first, but after that…"
"Shut up." Lydia chastised as she went further inside to prepare them something to eat.
"You should really just cut the honor and duty Nord-crap entirely. You finally became normal after you were stuck with me—" Remus continued to tease but was immediately cut off when a steel fork was sent flying to his direction which he caught with ease.
"Hey!"
"I told you to shut up!"
"Fine!" Remus laughed as he placed the steel fork on a nearby stand. "Make the food edible at least!"
The housecarl didn't bother responding. Remus got up to explore the manor, after all, it's been a long time since he last visited. He'd like to see the changes his housecarls did.
Remus didn't really need all the manors and houses he had, but he thought that he needed a place to stay for every hold just in case he had things to see through.
He thought it would be a waste if he didn't spend the money he earned from adventuring, bounty hunting, and his work with darker affiliations. But most importantly, he wanted his housecarls a place to call home.
Once all houses and manors were ready, he wanted to completely turn over the ownership to his housecarls provided they give him shelter when necessary. Of course, the housecarls immediately refused (except Argis who had qualms) and they decided to compromise by the end of their discussion. The houses would remain Remus' properties but the housecarls can change how he initially furnished them however they liked.
Some housecarls didn't change much. But others, specifically Lakeview Manor, made use of that option.
"Wow, Rayya literally turned this house into a hunter's den… only fancier." Remus commented as he checked out the trophy room at the back.
"Well, you know her…" Lydia answered as she prepared their meal. "At least she manages to stop them from smelling…"
There was a brief silence as Remus looked around the house.
"So, what brings you here?" Lydia finally decided to ask.
"No, nothing really. Just passing by."
"You slew a dragon in Ivarstead almost a month ago and you're 'passing by' now?"
"Wow you're really holding that against me." Remus laughed.
"Of course, I am." Lydia replied. "It was you who told me we're friends, remember? Why wouldn't you visit your friend earlier?"
"Yeah, sorry." Remus chuckled. He dared not tell her that he's been roaming Skyrim and the closer provinces for the past few months before he learned about the Dawnguard. He just didn't have the time to visit Lakeview Manor, it being deep in the woods and another was that his quests in Skyrim were always up North.
Remus wanted to argue that the other housecarls didn't overreact like she did whenever he came by the holds because he'd always been scarce, but in the end, he decided against it.
He acknowledges what Lydia's been saying was no lie. It has been a long time for both of them.
"So, what brings you here? I know you're not here without a purpose." Lydia called out once more from the kitchen.
"I'm visiting you, friend." Remus said in a playful manner.
"Don't make me hit you again."
The man slowly approached the table in the main hall to sit down. "Well, really, I just came to visit and check things out. I just happened to be in the area." He sat down a chair as he waited for Lydia.
The housecarl peered at him from her cooking. "Okay, fine. Whatever. There ain't much to tell, though."
"Mhmm."
There was silence between the two as Lydia carried on with her cooking, while Remus continuously tapped on the table as if in deep thought.
"Lydia, mind if I ask you something?"
The housecarl didn't answer.
"I'm really dumb when it comes to understanding… women… so I was thinking—"
Remus has barely even started when he heard the loud clanking of the stirring spoon over the pot in the kitchen. Right after that, Lydia came rushing towards him.
She slightly slammed her hand against the table.
"Did you just say something about… understanding women…?"
"Well… yeah, I mean—"
Suddenly, Lydia slumped down her seat as she gave Remus a look of disbelief.
"I can't believe it… after all these years… you've finally gained interest in them, huh?" Lydia gaped. Suddenly, her eyes gleamed with curiosity. "Tell me, tell me! Is this your companion from the Dawnguard?"
Taken aback, Remus asked, "H-How did you know that?"
Lydia smiled haughtily. "I heard some news. Then did some digging myself."
"'Where'd you hear that from?"
"Does it matter?" Lydia replied sardonically. "Anyway, where is she?"
Remus quickly came up with an alibi. "I told her I needed to do something, so I left her back at… Whiterun."
"Mhm." Lydia crossed her arms. "So, what did you want to know?"
Remus had a question prepared earlier, but his mind completely went blank after seeing his housecarl so motivated to hear from him. Lydia's enthusiasm is throwing him off.
"I—uhh—"
"What? Don't spare any detail!" Lydia gushed.
"I'm… uhm… confused about…"
"Yeah, yeah! I know that already: You're. confused. about. women. Just tell me what happened. I'd get the gist by the end of it."
Remus scratched his head. Once more, he stared back at his housecarl.
Still full of ardor.
He heaved a big sigh before getting started.
"So, my friend met this woman—"
"You don't have any friends. By your friend, you mean you?"
"Shut up, Lydia."
"Seriously Remus, cut the crap. Let's not get through with this 'friend' thing."
"Fine! It's me!" Remus growled in frustration.
The housecarl just smiled nefariously. "Good. Now tell me what happens next."
"Anyway, I met this woman by coincidence when I was doing some work for the Dawnguard. She needed some help and—"
"Being the white knight you are, you helped her."
Remus clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Anyway, after helping her… we were supposed to part ways but… it didn't quite end there. We saw each other again and eventually, we had to team up and do work for the Dawnguard. So, we've been travelling together for quite some time. And… surprisingly, we got along."
"Uh-huh." Lydia nodded in response, the grin on her face growing by the minute.
"As we continued to travel, I started feeling… things. I-I'm not really sure. It's just…" Flustered, Remus briefly glanced at Lydia before he continued. "We were… we were good friends. Really. So, I wanted to protect her."
Lydia crossed her arms before leaning back on her chair. "Psh. I thought I was finally going to hear something interesting from you… you're literally like that with everyone."
"What do you mean?"
"You've always been obsessed with the need to save everyone." Lydia explained. "Sometimes, you even seemed desperate…"
Lydia's words gave Remus' heart a small sting. He knew very well why he ended up this way.
Collecting himself, he waved his hand. "You might be right… but, I think this one's different."
"Different?" Lydia raised a brow. "Fine, continue then."
"Where was I…" Remus said, "… so we continued to travel and do work for the Dawnguard. Thing is, the more I become involved with her… the more I become confused. I… I'm starting to feel something inside that I can't quite understand. All I know is, I care for her… greatly."
There was a slight pause as Lydia just continued to stare in disbelief at the man as he told his story.
"Maybe I've always been confused, but it just got worse. I'm not sure if I'm just confused about myself or her actions recently…"
"Wait… 'her actions recently'? What do you mean?"
Remus suddenly felt blood rush up his face once the housecarl shot her question. He remembered what happened last night… everything was too vivid.
"I—I uh… I think I should go." Remus was about to stand up when Lydia's strong grip suddenly met his arm.
"Just where do you think you're going?" Lydia smiled sarcastically. "Take a seat, please. We're not yet done."
"I-I think this is a bad idea."
"You're not going anywhere." Lydia assured as she maintained her grip.
The man sighed before sitting back down to accept his fate. He poised himself as he started a story once again.
"Well, recently… we just finished a Dawnguard mission, and well… she kind of saved my life—"
"W-Wait! H-Hold on! What do you mean she saved your life?!" Lydia asked all of a sudden.
"What are you getting worked up for? How should I even explain 'she saved my life'?"
"I-I mean, whenever your housecarls, including I, join you for a quest… we always end up holding you back. So much for having us protect you, you always end up protecting us instead." Lydia paused. "Maybe, Jordis and Valdimar would be a different story but still…"
"Nonsense, you guys have been of great help—"
"Yeah, save it." Jordis interrupted as she shook her head. "I'm capable of assessing not only my own skills but the others' too. We're below your level." She paused. "If your companion could keep up with you, then she must be tremendously strong…"
Remus smiled remembering how Serana started off just relying on her spells, but now she's paving her way to become an excellent spell-sword. "Yeah, she is."
"Okay… what happened next?"
"Uhh—yeah. Of course, since she saved my life… I told her that I owe her a huge favor, and that I'd do anything to make it up to her."
"Aaaaand?"
"A-And… sh-she…" Remus stuttered, his face instantly turning bright red. The housecarl's expression was turning sour as she brought her face closer, urging him to just spit it out already.
"W-Well… sh-she… kind of…"
"For the divine's sake Remus, just spill it! And don't you dare lie!" Lydia shouted impatiently, standing up from her seat restlessly.
"Sh-sh-she kissed me!" Remus finally blurted out, surprised with his housecarl's temper.
Wide-eyed in disbelief, Lydia stared at him for a good few seconds. Then she slumped down her seat.
"B-By the gods…" the housecarl started. "… you've finally peaked, you dumb fool." Her remark was followed by a hearty laughter. Remus cluelessly stared at her as he thought how the housecarl might've lost her mind.
"Finally! I always knew there was something wrong with you, but this… this… changes things!"
"W-what…"
"When we first met, I always thought you were very uptight. You always refused when I offered you my help. After a while, I got you to agree to let me join you at least once. Then I discovered that you're actually a pretty decent person, just… distant. But then, there was that weird switch of yours when it comes to fighting…" Lydia gushed on.
"Wait, wait! Weird switch?" Remus interrupted.
"Uh-huh." Lydia nodded. "Don't you know? Whenever we had to fight, it's as if you suddenly switch your personality." The housecarl even gestured the turning of a switch with her hand.
"You were really cold-blooded back then if you ask me. But, that was years ago… around six? Maybe you've changed by now..." she paused for a second to breathe (much to Remus' surprise). "No matter… until now I've always thought you're weird and could never possibly be a normal person… even if I excluded your monstrous fighting capability."
"Wow, you really thought about me that way?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I? We might've become friends in the end, but your weirdness just transcends this relationship." She laughed. "Although, with this situation you have…you might actually have a chance to be a normal person!"
Remus just looked at Lydia in bewilderment. Apart from the things he couldn't believe she's saying right now, he wondered how one woman can talk so much.
Lydia paused for a bit. "Although, why did she do it?"
Without thinking, Remus responded, "She said something along the lines of 'payback for what I did in Morthal'…"
"Morthal… do you mean Morthal's defense from the vampires?"
Hearing the housecarl's follow up question, Remus' eyes widened.
Now, he's really done it.
The housecarl noticed the expression on his face. "Why… what did you do…?"
"I-I… I…" Remus' face slowly turned bright red.
Upon seeing his face, Lydia smiled deviously. "Don't tell me you… kissed her?"
Briefly glancing up at the housecarl, Remus nodded.
Lydia's eyes widened in shock as she initially guessed it as a joke. Afterwards, she laughed hysterically. "You sly bastard! I never thought you could ever kiss a girl on your own!"
"Bastard? H-Hey… I'm still the Thane you know…"
Lydia didn't seem to absorb Remus' attempt to a threat. "But, why did you do it? You got hit in the head or something?"
"No? I was… I was just… caught up in the moment, I think?"
"You think? You don't seem so sure." Lydia eased up. "Seriously, think harder. Answer me properly. I won't laugh, I promise."
There was dead silence as Remus thought of an answer.
"That night, I wasn't certain if we'd make it out alive. Someone reported that dozens of men were massacred at a nearby guard post. The city was not prepared for a defense. But, seeing her… worried and all… I was determined to keep her safe."
He paused. "She wanted to go and join the defense, but I didn't want her to. In any way, I didn't want to lose her. I was going to leave her at a room inside the inn, but then I saw her face… she was already starting to tear up and… she was shaking. I really didn't know what else to do." He sighed. "I only thought of the last thing I wanted to do before I die… so I… I did it. That's all there is to it. Really."
Once Remus glanced up, Lydia was already close to being moved to tears. "Wow, our constant bickering aside… I really didn't know you'd come this far… emotionally. I'm really proud of you, Remus. Keep her close." She smiled. "You must've loved her deeply…"
"Love?"
"Uhmm… yes?" Lydia's tears were about to come into a halt because she feels Remus remains oblivious to the truth. "Don't you see? Your actions… your words… they say it all. You wanted to protect her and cared for her deeply. You're the one who said that she's 'different'."
Lydia looked at Remus and immediately noticed that the mixed emotions in his face was replaced by a dark expression.
"Why, what's wrong?"
"I haven't had a single idea of how it feels to love since I was a kid. Basing from what I've heard from Constance's stories at the orphanage back then, I just always thought it's an emotion I don't deserve." Remus said darkly. "… And I still think the same. I'm sorry, Lydia. I've always thought highly of your assessment of things. I still do… but you may be wrong just this one time."
He suddenly stood up. "Thanks for hearing me out. I have to go. I'm afraid I'm not hungry anymore."
"Don't be ridiculous! I don't want to hear your excuses!" Lydia slammed her hand on the table. "I know deep inside, you wanted to be happy! You think I don't know about that locked up room at Heljarchen Hall?! A kids' bedroom! You even thought that far! I know deep down… there are things you want!"
"I only had it there because I wanted orphans a place they could call home. It was hard growing up at Honorhall." Remus grunted. "And maybe… maybe I do want something. Atonement. That's it. Nothing more." he paused. "I'm sorry. But I have to go."
He started walking towards the door when Lydia suddenly blurted out. "Stop running."
Remus stopped dead in his tracks, but he didn't look back.
"Up to this day, I have no idea what happened so bad in your past that you ended up being that way… but, normal or not, I always thought you also deserved to be happy… You've done Skyrim so much good… stop running away from all the good things that happen to you."
"Hm. You're starting to sound like the old man." Remus continued walking towards the exit. He glanced back one last time. "Thanks… for everything, Lydia. I'll be seeing you." Remus replied in a somber tone.
No response from the housecarl. Remus pulled up his hood before making his exit.
There were plenty more questions he wanted to ask as he sought for answers, but his visit just made him even more confused.
Remus might not have a proper notion of what love really is, but he believed Lydia was wrong. It's something he doesn't deserve.
Not after all what he's done.
It was sunset when Remus arrived back at the cabin. Remus found Serana sitting quietly in wait when he came back in the cabin. The vampiress' face immediately lit up once he saw him, but somehow this gave Remus' heart a numb ache.
Serana walked up towards him, giving his note back. "I don't know how long you meant by 'I won't be long' but I'm glad you're back. Where have you been?"
"Just took a walk and scouted the area. We're clear."
Serana crossed his arms with a dubious look on her face. "Took you quite a while."
"I covered a large area." Remus replied. "I didn't know it was your day of sleep today. I thought it'd be at least two days from now."
Serana just smiled weakly in response. Remus noticed something.
"Is there something wrong? You look tired and… kind of look… paler."
Serana gave out a forced laugh. "I've always been pale. I'm a vampire, remember?"
"Are you sure you're okay?" Remus asked once more. Afterall, despite having sleep… Serana didn't look refreshed at all.
"Yeah… I'm fine." Serana briefly replied with a smile. "Maybe, I'm just a little hungry. I'll be hunting out for a bit."
"Be careful."
"Area's clear, right? You said it yourself." Serana chuckled. The vampiress pulled up her hood before walking towards the door. She glanced back. "That frown on your face better be gone when I get back. Even if you look annoying, I like it better when you smile."
Remus couldn't help but grin upon the vampiress' remark.
Serana beamed back in response. "That's much better."
"Tch. Just go out already. And be careful!"
Serana waved her hand goodbye before closing the door.
For a moment, Remus stared longingly at the door. Finally, he shook his head and decided to distract himself by planning out what they'll be doing for the succeeding days. He removed his armor and went to work.
After planning, he went on to scrutinize the leftover ingredients Serana used and went on to synthesize three small vials of anti-paralysis potion as a precautionary measure for future ambushes.
He also thought about going to Lakeview Manor with Serana to rest for tonight. Afterall, Pinewatch isn't exactly hospitable. He ultimately decided against it, remembering his encounter with Lydia earlier.
Lastly, he organized their belongings. Once he's all done, he sat on his bed and started meditating which he does every once in a while, since there is a certain skill he was hoping to unlock.
This time though, his focus was way off. Eventually, he gave up on the idea of meditation and tried going to sleep… extremely bothered by his earlier encounter with his housecarl.
[Remus POV]
Ugh.
I must've fallen asleep. I slowly opened my eyes.
Once I did, I immediately saw Serana's face up close to mine.
That can't be right.
I rubbed my eyes vigorously before opening them again.
It's really her…!
She's wide awake and her feline eyes are just… staring at me intently.
"You startled me!" I gasped as I immediately sat up the bed, my back against the wall.
Without moving an inch, Serana continued to stare, her lips curled in an enigmatic smile.
Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?
"Oh, you're awake." Serana purred as she continued to stare. "You look cute when you sleep."
"S-Sorry?"
Serana chuckled as she sat up the bed before she slowly inching towards me. Then she pressed her finger against my chest. "You look so cute… I could just eat you right up…"
Instinctively, I pressed my back harder against the wall.
What's wrong with her?!
Gradually, she held my arm.
It felt… cold. Piercing cold.
I always knew Serana's temperature is different from an average human, but right now I'd say it's abnormal… even in her case.
"Say, Remus…" she cooed, "… I've always wondered what a Dragonborn's blood taste like…"
I swallowed thickly, don't tell me she…
"Mind giving me a taste?" she breathed into my ear. She moved even closer…
Suddenly, I felt something.
I am naturally resilient against magic for reasons unknown to me until now. I do have guesses though. Maybe it's because of my draconic heritage. Or because of my beast-blood. I'm not sure.
But… I'm sure Serana used magic just now.
Slowly, Serana let go of my arm as she sat back. She tittered softly. "As expected, even vampire's seduction doesn't work on you… really fascinating…" she paused as she leered at me.
"So… are you going to let me have a taste? After all… you… know me so well." She smacked her lips. "You even had a… glimpse… of me… in that form…"
She chuckled playfully again.
It was a few seconds before I realized I was gawking at her.
She… really looked beautiful.
Wait! Calm down, Remus! She's… she's definitely not herself right now.
But, this is seriously bad for my heart. I've only just recovered and now I'm dealing with this…
"Serana, I think—"
"Say… Remus…" Serana interrupted, "… do you want to know more… about me?"
"What do you—"
I barely finished my sentence when all of a sudden, Serana started taking off her top.
"Serana what the-!" I immediately turned the other way.
I heard Serana giggle. "My, what a gentleman. I'd allow you to peek, you know…"
"What the hell are you talking about?! Just get dressed!"
She didn't respond.
Is she putting her clothes back on? All I could feel is her shuffling behind my back.
After a while, she spoke. "Okay, Remus… you can turn around now…"
I slowly spun around, but soon as I did, I immediately turned my head back to the side.
"What are you doing?!" I chided.
I could feel blood rushing not only up my head but all throughout my body.
Her top is completely off, with just the blanket covering her… lady parts…
This is bad. Really bad.
Serana chuckled. "What's wrong? I never mistook you for someone shy." She said amorously. "I haven't shown these to anyone… so… you should be thankful."
She started shuffling again.
I honestly wasn't looking. But basing on my peripheral vision, she's turned around.
I slowly looked back.
It wasn't what I expected.
As I've expected, her skin looked smooth and it was porcelain white.
But… her back… it's riddled with scars.
They were faint in color and they varied in form and size. Some of them looked like they came from a whipping, but the the others… were bigger. They looked like… she was struck by something large…
"Serana…"
"Wonder how I got these?" Serana asked teasingly. "They were from the ritual that turned us into the Daughters of Coldharbour."
I-I don't know what to say. My heart sank along with my worries in our situation once I saw her old wounds. This can't be…
"Although, I am a little bit different from the others…" Serana continued. "The females were supposed to engage into… acts… with Lord Molag Bal… but I wouldn't take it. So, I refused." She chuckled sardonically. "No matter how hard he tried, I wouldn't let him. That's why I was punished."
Punished? I wanted to ask. But my mouth refused to open to speak. I was in a total loss of words.
"I was beaten to death." she said darkly. "It was fortunate that my vampiric regeneration took care of my wounds when I was resurrected. At least, it doesn't look as awful. And now… here I am… a blood-starved vampire."
My hands balled into fists. Damn it… Molag Bal… Damn it all…
"A fascinating story is it not?" she replied as she faced me again. "Now that you know more about me…"
I didn't have time to react properly as Serana returned to providing distraction.
"Serana, wai—"
"I also want to know more about you…" she completely let go of the blanket wrapping her body as she crawled towards me. "So… let me have a taste…"
This is getting out of hand! I might not be affected by her vampiric magic but, this situation is no cakewalk for me either!
I pressed my back against the wall again.
I have nowhere to go!
"Wait, Serana—"
Suddenly, she gripped my arm. I tried to remove her grasp but her strength… she's too powerful!
Her other arm slowly wrapped around my back before she pulled me closer.
Oh, no.
I felt something soft pressing against my chest as she clung unto me.
"It's been a while, since I last tasted mortal blood…" Serana whispered unto my ear. I could feel her breathing down my neck.
All of a sudden, I remembered something. When I defended Morthal, I was bitten.
The vampire that bit me… that vampire was dead.
My eyes flashed wide open. "Serana, no—"
I was too late.
I felt her fangs sinking into my flesh, sending me into a state of euphoria.
What is… this…?
I'm losing strength…
Slowly, I lost my balance as I fell lying on the bed with Serana on top of me, the coldness of her body pierced through me as she indulged herself in my blood.
No… Serana… Serana would die…
With little consciousness I've had left, I summoned every ounce of my strength to push her back.
She stared down at me, my blood still dripping from her fangs. She was breathing heavily, as if she wanted more.
Also… her eyes…
They were pitch-black just like then.
Weakly, I reached my hand out to caress her face.
"Serana, please… this… this isn't you…"
Steadily, her expression changed. Her eyes softened as they lost their pitch-black color, returning into her normal feline ones.
Tears started welling from her eyes as she stared at the bite on my neck. With an expression of great regret, she completely broke down into tears.
"No… Remus… I'm sorry…!" she cried, "I-I'm really sorry…! I-I didn't mean to...!" she slowly inched backwards.
I sat up and quickly grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her body before pulling her into an embrace. I gently stroked her back. She was shaking.
"I didn't want this…! Believe me, please…! I didn't'… I didn't want this…!" she said in between her sobs.
"I know, I know… it's okay." I comforted her as I continuously caressed her back.
She repeatedly said the same words all over for a while, until she lost consciousness in my arms.
Gently, I laid her down the bed. Tears were still streaming down her face as she continuously muttered "I'm sorry" even in her sleep.
Hearing her apologize constantly despite being unconscious made my heart ache.
I found a piece of clean cloth and wiped down her tears before wiping the blood on my neck.
Then, I pulled up a chair next to the bed. My eyes were fixated on her as she remained in deep sleep.
Thank the Divines… she's alive.
I vaguely remembered what happened to the vampire who bit me back at Morthal. All I know is, there was something in my blood that was fatal to him.
But, why? Why didn't it affect Serana?
Maybe she did not drink much? I am not certain.
Still, I am apprehensive to the thought of providing my blood for her in the future.
I cannot risk her safety. Maybe we just got lucky today.
I reached out to move stray hair on her face. Her cries earlier suddenly rang through my head.
I didn't want this!
Back in the Soul Cairn, Serana didn't say anything when I asked Valerica if she underwent the ritual willingly.
And now… I just got my answer.
Lydia heard continuous, but light knocking on Lakeview Manor's door deep in the night.
She unsheathed a dagger as she slowly walked towards it.
It just might be Rayya, but she must be prepared for the worst.
Steadily, she opened the door.
"Hey." Remus greeted. Lydia's eyes widened in surprise as she saw him carrying a person on his back.
Then her face lit up and started mouthing words as she pointed at her. "Is she-?"
"Wow, I was really expecting you to be angry. You change moods easily." Remus laughed softly as he walked in. "I guess Rayya's not here yet?"
"What happened? Why is she—"
"She's just sleeping. It's a long story." Remus briefly replied as he carried Serana to the master bedroom, Lydia following close behind.
Gently, Remus laid the vampiress down the bed. Lydia gawked at the very sight of the woman.
"By Dibella, where in oblivion did you find someone that beautiful?!" Lydia whispered. Remus just replied with a smile.
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Certainly. What is it?" Lydia asked.
"I'd… like us to be left in a while here in Lakeview Manor. You can join Rayya at Falkreath. Take the horse and don't tarry. Vampires might be about."
"As you wish. But—"
Remus looked back at Serana. Then, he pulled up a chair beside her and sat down.
"I take back what I said earlier."
"Which one?"
"Just the lot of what I said." He slightly glanced at his housecarl. "I came here because the real fight starts tomorrow. We need to be prepared as much as we can."
"You can count on my sword if you need it." Lydia offered.
"No, this fight is ours. It's… it's hard to explain."
Remus fixated his eyes on Serana once more. "Right now, I can't stand the thought of being separated from her. I want to protect her… that no more harm may come near her again." He laughed softly. "I guess that's not possible for now, we're part of the Dawnguard after all. We're in constant danger."
"In the end… you were right…" Remus continued as she fixed the stray hair on Serana's face.
"I am irretrievably in love with her."
He chuckled as he heard himself admit his feelings out loud. "But, right now, I'm afraid I am not yet in the position to tell her how I feel."
Remus slowly reached out to touch Serana's face.
"But I promise… after all of these is over… I'll tell her… I'll tell her everything."
With a sigh, he added,
"Also… you were right about another thing. There's one… one more thing I want aside from atonement."
Remus gently stroked Serana's cheek,
After all is said and done…
I'll ask her to marry me.