Chapter 55: First and Last

As soon as spring came, Daryl made good on his promise to do something with Carol. For the first time, Carol wanted to go back to Hershel's farm and visit Sophia's grave. They made the journey, just the two of them, and found the farm was surprisingly desolate. The grass had grown up so tall it was hard to see where they were going, but once they caught sight of the house in a sad state of disrepair, finding the graves was easy.

The old fence posts were rotted and falling over, the old house's porch had collapsed, and nearly every window was busted out. Weeds and colorful wildflowers poked through the charred wood pile that once was the barn. And along the overgrown graves were little white flowers that reminded Carol of the first time she allowed herself to feel hope for her daughter.

He held her at Sophia's grave that day, and she broke in his arms like the grief was still brand new. And he heard her talk of the children and everything that had happened in the years since the farm. And when she was finished, she squeezed his hand and looked up at him, and he kissed her before wrapping her in a hug. And then, together, they went home.

The years passed by quickly. The survivors from Alexandria pitched in, and by the third year after Rick's arrival, they had another three acres of land to build and plant on. The construction was slow but steady, and by the time Lucy was reading her own bedtime stories, new houses, a lumber mill, and even a proper school had been built.

The survivors from Alexandria, including Rick and Lori, Glenn and Rosita, Aaron and Jesus as well as the children, had integrated into the community easily. Rick and Lori shared the responsibilities in raising their daughter, but their marriage dissolved. They were amicable for Judith, but they moved on.

Over time and with the presence of his son, Negan began to spend time with Lori, first just to get Judith and Henry together to play. But over time, Negan finally felt ready to let go of the past, and he and Lori eventually began to spend time together alone. Rick still hadn't moved on, but Judith always told her dad that it was ok to be happy. She sometimes played matchmaker, but Rick didn't seem to be in any hurry. He spent a lot of time alone, though Daryl would sometimes drag him out for the occasional hunting trip just to reconnect. For the most part, Rick was happy to just watch his daughter grow up and enjoy each day for what it was.

Glenn and Rosita married after the first year in Georgia, and after another year, baby Elijah came along to complete their family of five. It wasn't at all an uncommon occurrence to see Glenn chasing the little ones about in the yard. He'd come a long way from the pizza delivery boy Carol and Daryl had met in the quarry. He and Rosita worked as a team raising their kids and taking care of their family.

Rosita, Andrea and Carol helped with weapons training. With ammo and guns becoming a thing of the past, more primitive weapons were being made and used with increasingly expert skill. Bows and arrows replaced guns, while spears and machetes and knives were more prominent than a rifle.

Glenn was the go-to supply run guy. He still had a way of getting in and out of places in a pinch, and while it took longer to get places on horseback, the wagons they'd crafted out of old car seats and car frames to hitch the horses to still left plenty of room for items they might find in their searches.

But as the years went by, supply runs became less and less necessary. Each year the crops gave them enough food to store to feed everyone through the cold months, and while walkers still roamed the area, the woods were filled with wildlife. Hunting was easier than ever with the deer population being up.

Daryl and Merle led the hunting expeditions, teaching boys and girls as young as ten how to hunt and prepare their kills. It was everyone's least favorite lesson, but it was a necessary one. By the time Lydia turned twelve, she could track a buck and kill it faster than anyone else. Like father, like daughter.

Aaron and Jesus and their daughter Gracie often volunteered wherever they were needed. Sometimes it was at the infirmary, sometimes it was in the fields. They were the eyes and ears of the community, often helping oversee construction and organizing runs or hunting trips outside the walls.

Merle settled down quite a bit after Alexandria. He and Andrea made a home with Dylan, and after a couple of years, the boy got his wish for a sibling in the form of his baby sister Amy.

Carol and Daryl shared responsibilities with Merle and Negan and Andrea, and often times, they were happy to sit back and let things be while watching their children grow.

Every day, Lydia grew smarter and more skilled. She could sew, she could hunt, she could build and she could write. She, along with Judith Grimes, often wrote stories about the people and the happenings around the community. Carol kept those stories in a box under her bed, hoping one day to bind the pages all together as a history through a child's eyes.

Dog lived out his years playing with and keeping watch over the children, and when Lydia turned sixteen, he fell asleep at the foot of her bed, as he always did, and he never woke up. As heartbreaking as it was for the children to lose their beloved Dog, they knew that death was a part of life and Dog had been their protector since they were born. It was his time, and he had been a good dog, always.

Life went on, children were born, and families were made. The world around them continued to die, continued to try to bring them down with it, but they fought, and they went to bed each night with the satisfaction that they'd made it one more day, and they were one day closer to a world where the dead weren't beating on their gates.

Carol and Daryl watched with pride as their children grew up and came into their own. As much as Luke looked like Sophia, Sophia's personality and smile lived on in Lucy. She was shy and sweet but smart as a whip. She craved to be like Lydia, to venture out on her own, to experience the world outside the walls, and while the idea scared the hell out of both Carol and Daryl, they prepared her the best they could.

"What's this?" Lucy asked on her thirteenth birthday, when Carol handed her something wrapped in a cloth.

"This is for you," Carol said with a smile, brushing her daughter's reddish brown hair back from her eyes. "It was mine for a very long time, and now I want you to have it." Lucy unwrapped the cloth to find the knife Carol used to wear on her belt. It was the one with the knuckle guard. Old and worn but still sharp and shining.

"It's mine? You mean it?" Lucy asked with wide, blue eyes.

"Only if you promise you'll be careful with it."

"Oh, I promise!"

"I want you to come with me."

"Out there?" Lucy asked. Carol nodded. Lucy grinned and bit her lip to contain her excitement. "Your dad's getting the horses."

"Is he coming, too?"

"Nope, this is just us. We can take care of ourselves, right?" Lucy nodded excitedly.

"Go get ready. Riding boots and a jacket. Tuck your knife into your belt like I've shown you before." Lucy did just that and hurried off to get ready for the trip.

Carol turned and went outside where Daryl was waiting with both horses. His shaggy hair was cut a little shorter now and it was mostly grey, but those eyes were still as blue as ever, and that smile he flashed her made her heart skip a beat as it did all those years ago.

"She ready?"

"Almost," Carol said with a sad little smile.

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"I did this with Lydia and with Luke. I need them to know." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly.

"Be safe?" he asked.

"Nine lives, remember?" She kissed him again, and when she pulled back, he grinned. "What?"

"Love you." Carol's face lit up with a smile. Even after all these years, those words still felt new, and her heart jumped in her chest.

"I love you, too."

...

"What is this place?" Lucy asked, as she and Carol walked, leading their horses through the tall grass.

"This was home a long time ago."

"Oh," Lucy said quietly, peering up at what was left of the old house. The houses had burnt years ago, but the old chimney still stood. They turned toward the small row of crosses that marked the ground, and Lucy looked at her mom. "Is this…"

Carol knelt down next to one of the markers. In faint, white lettering SOPHIAwas scrawled across the wood.

"You remind me so much of Sophia. I lost her before I knew how to survive in this world. If I'd known then what I know now, I could have saved her." Lucy knelt down on the ground across from her mother and put her hand on the cross. "You were lucky. You were born in this new world. You had two parents who loved you and knew how to keep you safe. We knew how to teach you how to keep yourself safe. Sophia didn't have that. I was a different mom with Sophia. I loved her more than anything, but I couldn't keep her safe. Her daddy wasn't a good man. She was terrified by this world. She was defenseless and helpless, and she was lost to this world. When Lydia and Luke and you came into our lives, your dad and I promised that you would have a future."

She reached out and touched Lucy's cheek. Lucy sniffled, and Carol brought her hand down to the grass over Sophia's grave.

"She was my first baby. You're my last baby. And this grave is a reminder that every moment matters. I brought Lydia here when she was your age. And then Luke. Now you. I need you to know how very much I love you and how important it is that you know what that means. Before Lydia came along, I was lost, and I was scared of being a mom again. But I loved her, and she showed me I could be the kind of mom I always wanted to be for Sophia. And I loved Luke when he came along, and you. And I'm still learning things about this world. I want you to learn them, too. I know you want to explore and think you're ready for that, but there's still time. There's still a lot to learn. And, it's ok to be scared. A little bit of fear is good. But just remember that this is our world. We fight to live in it, and we fight to keep going. That's what I wish I'd been able to teach Sophia." Carol stood up then, brushing the dirt and grass from her knees. Lucy stood up and hugged her mother.

"I'll be ok, Mom," she promised.

"You're a year older than Sophia was when she died. There's a reason I want you prepared before you leave the walls on your own. I know Hershel and Coco and Eli like to sneak out sometimes, and I know you want to go with them. But you're still learning. I want you safe, and I want you to be smart."

"I will be."

"You're growing up. You're not a kid anymore, but you still have some growing to do, you understand me?"

"I understand. I'll be careful, and I won't go out by myself until I'm ready." She looked a little disappointed, but Carol knew her daughter had a good head on her shoulders. She knew this was important.

"Good," Carol offered, hugging her again and kissing her forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too, Mom."

"Alright. Let's go home."

...

"How'd it go?" Daryl asked, as Carol crawled into bed that night.

"I think she understands. She's just so high-spirited, Daryl. She's got that wild streak in her, and I know she wants to go over that wall so badly."

"She ain't stupid. And she can track and hunt."

"But she's still a child."

"I agree," Daryl said with a nod. "I'm just sayin', if she's gonna make a mistake, she's gonna learn. She can take care of herself."

"I know," Carol sighed. "She's my baby." She chuckled to herself. "I'm turning into that overprotective mom."

"Ya got every right to do that," Daryl pointed out. "Lucy listens. Probably our best behaved kid."

"Hmm," Carol agreed, though the frown on her face told Daryl she wasn't a hundred percent convinced. Daryl curled his arms around her shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss.

"She's growin' up. That just means it won't be long 'til we got the house all to ourselves again."

"Again? Didn't we have it to ourselves for like, one night?" Carol asked with a laugh. "And that's before you ever even touched me."

"Hey, that's right," Daryl recalled. "Well, I was thinkin', maybe someday soon, we could have that second honeymoon."

"Second?" she laughed. "The first one was Merle watching Lydia so we could have the house to ourselves."

"Yep," Daryl said with a grin. "Thought maybe a repeat of that might do us both some good."

"Daryl Dixon, that might be the best idea you've had in years." Carol grinned and kissed him softly. She knew their lives were changing. Lydia was already living on her own, spending more and more time with Henry than Daryl was comfortable with, though she was grown and able to make her own decisions. Luke and Lucy were still home for the time being, but they were growing up fast. But, it only served as a reminder to Carol and Daryl that they'd done something right. Their children were healthy and thriving, the house was still a little chaotic, and the nights were long and quiet. The nightmares that once plagued their nights were replaced with comforting silence and security in each other's arms. They'd come a long way from the two struggling stragglers from the Greene farm. They'd come a long way from the two people who'd come together to give an orphaned child a chance at a life she'd otherwise never have known.

They had raised three wonderful, bright children, and they'd survived it all. They had pulled together out of necessity and fallen in love, and everything that happened after that just fell into place in just the right ways, and now, they had almost everything they could hope for in this cruel, dark world. They'd built this life from the ground up, and that was something. All they had to do now was simply live.

The End