Chapter 34

Daemon Redo sits behind his desk before lacing his fingers over his stomach. Peon Frost is to the left of his chair, and another woman is to his right. She is also dressed in a bathing suit, a brown one, and a robe. Her hands are hiding behind her back. Daemon Redo doesn't introduce her just yet.

"You failed your first test," he says grimly, studying Peon Frost's clipboard.

"Test?" Mary Poppins asks.

"Yes. You didn't have permission to go from the Flounder Deck to Cloud Nine just like that." Daemon Redo rises and circles Mary and Bert. He speaks expressively with his hands. "You have to work your way up there. Be tested along the way. Fail a few times so you appreciate the struggle of ascending to your personal peak."

Mary's nose is in the air. "Daemon Redo, I have reached my peak, with Bert. Been there, done that. And we will get there again, once we find my umbrella."

"Yes, you mentioned that. But isn't Mount Everest just another peak? You may have reached the top of one mountain, Mary Poppins, but there are more for you and Bert to climb. Which means you are at the bottom again, on The Flounder Deck. The Ascendants will take you to India, and tell you how to get to Nepal and Mount Everest, but not until you've earned the right to be there. This will involve you ascending to Cloud Nine on our terms, not yours." Daemon Redo stands beside the woman in the brown swimsuit.

"Now wait just a minute," Bert interjects. "This is Mary Poppins and her friend Bert you're talking to. No one mentioned anything about terms when we..."

"...became stowaways on my ship?" Daemon Redo finishes. This silences Bert immediately.

Daemon Redo continues: "As I was saying, you will ascend to Cloud Nine on our terms, meaning you will entertain the Ascendants on each deck according to yours, and theirs, ability to swim in the stream. You saw everyone's faces in the Mess Hall. They're not ready for that kind of show. They judged you and you failed your first test. Forget the past, Mary and Bert. You're starting over on The Monte Carlo. You're newcomers to The Order of Ascension and you don't even know how to float! Let the Ascendants help you find your fins, so you can swim to your umbrella naturally. Kooky Byotch will help you." Daemon Redo nods in her direction.

Mary Poppins isn't convinced. "How will she do that exactly?"

"By stopping your attempt to ascend," Daemon Redo answers. "Show them what you can do, Kooky."

Kooky produces a flashlight and a small white puppet. It's an animal of some sort. Neither Mary nor Bert can make it out since Kooky Byotch is waving the flashlight at them while spinning the puppet crazily in the air.

Daemon Redo continues: "As you can see, Kooky Byotch has her tricks. She too wants to ascend to Cloud Nine, as a shit disturber. Every Ascendant needs a shit disturber to ruin their day. Isn't that right, Kooky?"

"Right," she says. "I will push you both to your limits 24/7 so you can be the best you can be. And when I'm not there my associates will do it for me."

"Associates?" Mary and Bert say together.

"Yeah, I got connections. Real dirt bags. They'll help you ascend like nothing else. I'm so lucky to have met them," Kooky answers proudly.

Daemon Redo pats her on the back. "She's a real asset to the Order. Our Lord and Master, Vevok Joz, can't wait to spar with her on Cloud Nine. Alas, she's been stuck on Deck Six for years. Not to worry, better there than jail." Daemon Redo laughs as Kooky Byotch winces.

"Jail?" Mary Poppins squeaks.

"Yes, jail. That's where we found her, guilty of theft and assault, about to be locked up for years. We brought her here, to the Order, where her talents could be put to better use. You see, there are no bad people in the Order of Ascension. If you're a criminal, we will make you the best criminal you can be. You're an entertainer, Mary Poppins, without your umbrella, and you want it back. We'll make that possible. Once you and Bert battle Kooky Byotch to reach Cloud Nine, nothing will stop you from reaching your peak. You will find your umbrella and you won't be careless enough to lose it again. So, are you ready to start?" Daemon Redo claps his hands, eager to get things going.

Mary and Bert give each other a let's get this over with look. It can't be hard. They survived much worse as newbies in Hollywood, trying to get their breaks on the Silver Screen all those years ago.

"So what's our first task?" Mary asks. "Should we sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star to everyone in the Mess Hall over lunch, so we can ascend to Deck Two for dinner? I'm sure Bert and I can put together a routine before then. Indeed the sooner we find Senor El-Dodo, the better. I can't wait return to my practically perfect life as an exceptional Au Pair, and of course make another movie with Bert." She smiles at him warmly.

"I assure you there will be no singing today. You and Bert need to take it easy. This will be your first dip in the stream. Your task will be simple," Daemon Redo advises.

"How simple?" Being more streetwise than Mary Poppins, Bert's concerned.

"You'll clean the stage," Daemon Redo answers, laughing as Kooky Byotch waves her flashlight and white puppet in Mary and Bert's faces.