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BirdsandStars

On Friday, I pick up Kate early at Elliot's apartment and we go together to pick out the perfect dress for the wedding. We spend all morning going from one bridal shop to another. Looking, trying on different designs, trying to find the one that's right for me. The one that just by looking at it will get my attention. One that would make Christian's mouth drop open. And that, I knew, was going to be very hard to find. It had to have lace, a lot of lace, but it also had to be bold and sexy as shit.

—I think you're looking for something that doesn't exist. —says Kate to me as we enter the next store and she sits in a chair.

—I know it exists, I'll know it when I see it. —I say to her as the store manager approaches us.

—Good afternoon. How can I help you?

—She's getting married on Sunday and she's looking for a wedding dress that doesn't exist. —says Kate as the manager looks at us both amusingly.

—What kind of dress are you looking for?

—I want a wedding dress that has a lot of lace, and is both sexy and daring. —I say to her with a smile while she looks thoughtful.

—And I've already told her it doesn't exist, more than 10 times. —say Kate again.

—I have a wedding dress back there that I can show you. —she says to me a little hesitantly.

—But... —I ask her, seeing her insecure face.

—It's extremely expensive.

—I don't have a problem with money.

—But I warn you, no bride would wear it because of how daring it is.

—Let me see the dress. —I tell her as she goes off looking for him.

A daring dress.

That's what I'm looking for.

Kate and I stare at each other for a while until the shopkeeper comes back with a dress in her hands. The dress is still in the designer's bag. She hangs the coat rack very carefully and pulls down the zipper of the bag revealing the dress. At first glance I can see that it has lace, a lot of lace.

—It's French lace, chiffon, tulle... —I've stopped listening to what she says as I admire the dress in amazement.

I didn't even notice that the shop assistant had left and returned with some shoes in her hands.

—These come with the dress. —she says to me with a smile.

I looked at the shoes in her hands.

—You can go into the dressing room and see how they fit. —she said, pointing to a curtain at one end of the room.

I take the dress, the veil and the shoes, and without thinking twice I go there. I take off my clothes, the little brooches on my lower back and put them on. I sit down and try on my shoes, they fit perfectly. I get up and look at the dress again. It has a huge tail. I turn around and look in the full-length mirror behind me.

—Oh my God! —I exclaim as I cover my mouth.

—Are you all right? —Kate yells at me from the outside.

—Yes, I'm fine. —I say to her as I look at the dress in the mirror.

The whole front is lace with intricate details and refined embroideries that slide delicately down my waist until they form, together with the straps, the enormous V-shaped neckline in the back that reaches up to the upper part of the buttocks. The front lace reaches my waist from where it comes down as a strip, blending with the tulle, all the way down the side of both sides of my body to the floor. As the lace descends down my leg, the design becomes simpler, until it is practically more tulle than lace. Only the edge of the dress that drags on the floor is left with lace.

In the lower part of my belly begins the chiffon, which blends elegantly with the tulle and lace of the side stripes. Just above my buttocks it continues to form a wide stripe over each of them which is joined with more refined embroidery in the center. Just below the buttocks the embroidery gives way to the tulle again with the lace and the embroidery down to the ground.

I take the veil made up of a delicate flower tiara and place it on my head. It is double, of two different lengths. I put it back completely while admiring myself with the whole set turning to both sides. The dress fits perfectly to my slight curves.

— Just come out, Ana, you're making me anxious. —Kate yells at me from the living room.

—I'm coming out. —I shout to her as I pick up the tail of the dress in my hands.

When I arrive outside I let go of the tail and Kate and the shop assistant stare at me in surprise and amazement.

—Shit, Ana! I never imagined a dress like that could exist.

—It's the first time anyone's tried on that dress.

—How do I look? —I ask them as I walk around.

—Honestly, no one would wear that dress to a wedding, it's too daring and sensual. —the shop assistant tells me.

—It's just what I'm looking for. —I say with a smile.

—He's going to have a heart attack when he sees you.—says Kate to me as I ignore her and head back to the dressing room to get my dress off.

Once out of the dress I put on my clothes and take it back outside.

—I'll take it with me.

—Don't you want to know the price?

—No. Whatever it costs. —I tell her by holding out my card.

—Are you going to take the shoes too? —she asks me while I smile at her.

—Of course.

I found the perfect shoes and dress. One that will make Christian want to take it off or tear it off, but he won't be able to. I pay for the dress and it's put back into his black designer bag. I put it on one arm and with a big smile we go out looking for my car. I place the dress on Kate while I get in the car.

—You're lucky that Christian can't see the dress before the wedding, because it's bad luck, because if he sees it, he'll surely forbid you to wear it. —I can't help but laugh at his comment. —I'm glad you find my comment funny.

—He's not gonna stop me from wearing it, Kate. He' have to make a superhuman effort to keep his hands to himself and not take it off. —I say to her as we both laugh out loud.

I drop Kate off at Elliot's and then head to my mother's.

Outside there are several trucks parked and many people unloading things. And as I imagined, inside the hustle and bustle is much greater. I enter the house with my dress hanging from my arm and look for my mother who is on the back terrace of the house. Giving orders.

—Hi, Mom. —I shout for her attention.

She comes over to me and gives me a hug.

—Is that the dress? —she asks me while I smile at her.

—Yes. The perfect dress. —I tell her as she stops what she's doing and takes my arm.

—Come on, I want to see how it fits.

Mom pulls my arm towards her room. And when I'm there I get naked and take the dress off to try it on one more time. And mom literally stands there with her mouth open.

—I've never seen a dress so daring, Ana. —she says to me as I walk around so she can see it from behind. —Not so... tattooed.

Shit! I forgot the tattoo. I turn quickly to my mother. She looks at me with a raised eyebrow, waiting for me to explain.

—I had it done a while back. —I tell her as if that explains everything.

—You explain the concept to me, because I don't understand it.

She wouldn't even understand it. To understand it she would have to know that his son has one on his whole back and part of his chest. Which I wasn't going to tell her.

—It was when I was at my spiritual rest. —I'm trying to stop her from asking me any more questions.

—So it has something to do with Christian. —she asks me as I sit down. —I imagine then that he must have one very similar to that.

—Yes. —I tell her as I try to change the conversation. —So what do you think of the dress?

Grace smiles as she comes over to me and hugs me.

—That is made especially for you. —she says to me as someone knocks on the door.

—Excuse me, but we have a situation on the terrace. —Jones shouts from the other side.

—Go ahead, I'll take off my dress and come out and help you. —I say to her as she leaves the room.

As soon as I start undressing, my phone starts ringing. I look for it in my jeans and when I see the screen I smile.

—Hi.

—Did you get the dress? —he asks me as I look at myself again.

—I have the dress. —I tell him with a stupid smile.

—I guess you won't let me see it until Sunday.

—You guess right.

—Will you at least tell me what it looks like?

—It's white, with tulle, chiffon and lace. —I miss the part where it's got a lot of lace.

—Isn't that what all wedding dresses are like?

—Most of them. —I'm telling him while I'm laughing.

—Are you at home

It's funny to hear you say that, home. Because that's what the apartment will become as of Sunday. Our apartment. Our home.

—I'm at Grace's house, I'm going to help her a little with the preparations.

—All right, I'll have Sawyer drop me off there when he's done. —I'll be right back.

—I'll wait for you, I'll tell Jones we're staying for dinner.

—All right.— he pauses. —Ana.

—Yeah.

—I love you.

—So do I, Christian. — and I hang up with a stupid smile on my face.

I take off my dress, put it in the black bag and go out on the terrace to help Grace with the preparations.

I don't know how Grace managed to find an organizer on such short notice. She comes up to me and asks my opinion about what she plans to do, and the decorations. And the truth is, I love the idea she has. As we talk about the decorations, people keep walking past us setting up boxes and lowering tables and chairs and glass panels. There's a lot of fuss in the house, it's a lot like the last time my mom did a remodel.

—I'm just worried about the guests. — I tell the decorator that at that moment she looks at me with a frown.

—The invitations have already been sent out.

—Really? —I'm stunned.

—Yes, Grace contacted me yesterday and sent me a list of guests. I got right on it.

—I had my doubts about whether everything could be done on such short notice.

—You don't have to worry about anything. Get some rest tomorrow. You only have to be here on Sunday at noon to start preparing.

—Prepare me?

—Of course. The make-up lady and the hairdresser will be here and they'll make sure you look splendid. The groom will have a heart attack when he sees you, you'll be unrecognizable.

I'm sure he will.

But not because of the make-up or the hairstyle I wears.

I spend the rest of the afternoon helping out where I can. I watch Grace in the distance while she's trying to figure out where to put things. Sunday will be a big day for her. Her two sons are getting married.

Christian arrives just in time for dinner, and then we sit in the living room with Grace, as she tells stories of both of us as children. We leave around 9:00 pm. I decide to leave the dress at my mother's house, I don't trust Christian not to look at it in the apartment while I'm not there.

I'm exhausted.

I sit on the bed and take off my shoes while he goes to the bathroom.

—Everything's ready apparently. —he yells at me from the bathroom.

—I know that Grace can perfectly well take care of everything without difficulty. —I tell him as I feel him turn on the tap in the tub.

I take off my shoes and massage my feet. Christian is still in the bath, surely preparing a delicious bubble bath. I take off my clothes and walk to the bathroom with only my underwear.

Christian is bending over, lighting some scented candles next to the tub. He looks up as soon as he feels my footsteps. He gets up from the floor.

—I'm done. —he says to me as he turns off the tap in the bathtub.

I watch him as he undresses, turns off the light, leaving everything illuminated only by candles, and gets into the bathtub, holding out a hand to me. I finish undressing quickly and taking his hand I get in too. Christian sits down and I sit between his legs. This is just what I need. I close my eyes and lie down on his chest while he hugs me and rests his head on my shoulder.

—What are you going to do tomorrow? —he asks me in a whisper.

—Rest to look pretty on Sunday. —I tell him as he laughs out loud.

—You don't need much rest to look beautiful. —he says as he kisses my neck and I let out a moan.

—What about you?

—Elliot and Kate are throwing us a bachelor party.

—I told Kate I didn't want any strippers. —I tell him while I regret what I just said.

—Strippers hey! That's what Elliot told me he was gonna plan for me.

—They're a perfect match. Why does it have to be a stripper when you say "bachelorette party"?

—Because it's tradition. —he says to me as I turn briefly to look him in the eyes.

—You're going to a strip club? —I'm curious.

—No. I threatened Elliot not to. —he says to me while I'm making myself laugh.

—You can be very intimidating sometimes.

—Sure, because he didn't bring it up again.

I turn around again. His fingers slide gently down my arms while I close my eyes. This is all I want in life. To be like this forever in his arms. Doing nothing, thinking of nothing but us, his caresses and the warmth of his body against mine.