Six: Alternative You

As the school year draws to a close, Chat knows Marinette still hasn't decided on a replacement for Ladybug before spending the summer on the road with Luka, prompting him to try and force the issue by making her an offer; he's not prepared for the results.

A week from the end of the semester, I'd already suffered the wrath of Father for my unapproved hairstyle change, dealt with seven deadly akumas and, perhaps worst of all, survived my Financial Calculus final. Only one final was left, and that was in a class where I'd carried a 4.0 from the first day of the semester. Not being overly worried about the exam, Adrien skipped out on studying for the afternoon, allowing Chat much needed time for catching some rays lounging one of my favorite rooftops facing the broad Trocadero plaza.

Totally alone on my rooftop perch, I'd stretched out completely, luxuriating in how my black costume soaked up every photon the sun was willing to put out. The gentle warmth had relaxed me enough that I'd started to purr, and I'd closed my masked eyes to allow myself something of a catnap.

Sleep, though, brought further troubled thoughts; as had happened once before, my dreams were infused with my fears and passions, and followed the familiar pattern. The face would shift between Marinette and Ladybug, but always it was Milady in peril, and I would be unable to reach her - to save her - before whatever ingeniously devious akuma trap was sprung. Each tragic ending begat another, ever more tragic one until I at last awoke with a start and the gnawing dread I was helpless to prevent anything.

So much for getting some relaxation in, I thought grimly as I stretched out again and tried to settle my thoughts once more.

It was no secret why I was thinking of Ladybug, for there were just a few short days left before she and Luka boarded the bullet train to their first concert venue. While I'd obviously seen her rather frequently since our little tête-à-tête on my dorm roof, she'd been more than a little tightlipped when I'd pressed her for details on her plan. The closer we drew to her departure, the more restless I was becoming; I wasn't sure if it was a side effect of being a cat that made me uneasy not knowing what the path forward was to be.

Closing my masked eyes once more, sleep didn't come; instead, my feline ears picked up the faint ziiing of a particular yo-yo. I wondered what it said that of me that my heart didn't do the skip it once did at the anticipation of the appearance of my partner. Instead, I sighed and resigned myself to the prospect I was about to receive the back half of the discussion she'd started with me earlier.

Keeping my eyes closed, I laced my paws behind my mane and feigned nonchalance. A moment later, the gentle sound of her feet landing on the tile next to me, followed by the sound of the yo-yo retracting clued me in that she had arrived. I found myself smiling at the familiarity of it all. "Do you think the next Ladybug will have a yo-yo?" I asked.

"What makes you think it would be a lady?"

I cracked open a masked eye. "For balance," I said. "A ying to my yang."

"I'm curious," Ladybug asked as she settled in next to me. "How long do you plan on remaining Chat Noir?"

"Furrever," I said smugly as I closed my eye.

"Even after Hawkmoth is defeated?"

My tail twitched as I wondered where she was going. "Today, it's Hawkmoth," I said. "We'll defeat him in time, but some other form of evil is bound to replace him. Like I said earlier - it's balance. Evil to our good."

"What if the evil is not just here in Paris?"

"It won't be," I agreed. "I can only handle one city at a time, Milady. But if I can be helpful, anywhere I'm needed, I'll be there."

"But you have a life. Outside of the mask."

"Just like you," I said as I rolled to my side and propped my head up on a paw. Twirling my tail in the other paw, I continued. "I didn't choose this, it chose me. I take my duty very seriously, and will execute it until I'm no longer able to do so."

"Says the cat sleeping in the sunshine," Ladybug smiled.

"We all need downtime," I replied. "Even superheroes." I looked at her and the puffiness around her eyes that even the mask couldn't hide told me she'd not been sleeping well either. Normally, I'd have gently asked what was bothering her, but today I wanted answers. "I assume you dropped in to, well, drop on me what your decision is."

Her masked eyes widened. "Not very tactful today, are we?"

I rolled over onto my back again. "You were quite clear my opinion didn't matter. I'd just like to get this over with and move on to more important things. Like finding the purrfect sunbeam, or what kind of catnip to purchase."

"That's not true."

"That I buy catnip?"

"Your opinion does matter, Chat. And all I said was the ultimate decision is mine."

"I never said it wasn't." I cracked a masked eye again. "Over the years, you'd begun to trust my judgement. I assumed you'd avail yourself of that here. I was wrong." I closed my masked eye. "Lay it on me, then."

"Interesting choice of words," Ladybug said. I heard her pull out her yo-yo and idly start to twirl it; much as my tail, it often telegraphed her emotions. "I visited with an old friend a few days ago," she said. "Before I spoke with him, I'd planned on offering him the Bug Miraculous, but once I got there, I couldn't do it."

"Bingo," I mumbled. Normally I'd congratulate myself on out-thinking Milady, but today… not so much.

Distractedly, she continued without reacting to my snark. "I'm not sure why, exactly. He'd have been a good fit for it. Seeing him that evening, though, as he looked at me so expectantly, I just kept babbling instead. I think I wound up torching our friendship in the end. It hadn't been my intention, but he was so angry when he left…"

"How nice," I said. Unconsciously, I folded my arms against my chest and started to tap a claw against my costume. "You really are making the rounds this week."

"Chat," Ladybug said softly as she reached over to put a gloved hand to a bicep. "Stop being a petulant teenager for a moment, would you? This is important."

Keeping my eyes closed, I knew my tail had started tapping against the tile as well, belying my impatience. "You're drawing this out like a bad reality show, Milady. Get to the point."

I felt her withdraw her hand. "I've hurt you, somehow, haven't I?" she asked after a few moments.

Opening my masked eyes finally, I shifted my head slightly to look at her. "I told you a long time ago it wasn't cool to play with people's emotions, Ladybug," I said quietly. "Despite that, it's been a bit of a roller coaster these past two weeks, hasn't it?"

Leaning up once more, I continued. "Am I hurt? I have been for a while. But," I added, careful to avoid the same language I'd used with her as Adrien, "I'm not angry at being passed over. I stand behind what I said to you months ago - your happiness is paramount to me. If that's leaving all of this behind and travelling with Luka, then so be it."

Pushing myself up into a full seated-Chat position, I put a paw to her arm. "I'm just not convinced it's what you really want to do."

She looked at me. "How can you know that?"

I sighed. "I'm a cat, Milady, and as you well know naturally empathetic. But your dragging out the decision on the Bug Miraculous - not to mention the Guardianship itself - tells me more than anything I can sense from you." I paused. "And that's saying something, given the waves of discontent coming off of you."

Flipping around so I could face her, I gently put my paws on either side of her. "Tell me honestly. Why are you really leaving Paris?"

"To be with Luka," she replied, but she immediately looked away - her classic tell. We had been together too long for me not to know that it wasn't the entire truth.

Arching a masked eyebrow at her, I sighed again. "Even now, on the eve of you leaving and possibly never returning, you can't be truthful to yourself. Or with me." I ran a claw gently down the side of her face. "Ladybug, you said earlier you thought I wasn't acting like myself. I think it's rather the opposite, don't you?"

She turned back to me. "I don't follow," she frowned.

"None of this is in character for the Ladybug I know - the Ladybug I love. And yes," I said softly as I looked her straight in the eye, "I still care about you. I told you before how I felt about you wouldn't change." I paused again. "Why are you leaving Paris?"

She looked away. "It's complicated."

"It doesn't have to be," I said quietly. "Are you leaving because of me?"

"No!" she said, but it was a tad rushed and much too forceful.

"Ladybug," I said carefully, "we all make choices. Some feel right and turn out not to be, but all have consequences." I paused, noting she still hadn't turned to look at me. "You chose Luka over me. I can live with that. What I can't live with is you feeling like you have to leave because of me." I took a breath. "That's not fair to me, nor to you, nor to Luka for that matter. We would all be living a lie."

Ladybug remained silent.

I dropped my paws. "I can't help you if you won't let me," I said softly. "That's all I've ever really wanted to do, I suppose. Help you save Paris." I looked away and said even softer: "Save yourself."

We sat like that, staring away from each other for quite a while. I was surprised she didn't leave; I was more surprised that I stayed, for it felt like there was little else to be gained from talking. But if she were still leaving, truly leaving Paris, I knew I could relieve a little of her burden - if she would let me.

I waited a bit longer and the said, very, very softly: "Make me the Guardian."

"What?" she replied, a but shocked.

"Milady," I said, turning back toward her and softening my gaze a bit. "You leave Paris in a few days. This can't be some kind of last minute Hail Mary." I put a paw to her arm again. "Think about it. You're having trouble deciding on who to bestow your own Miraculous on; choosing a Guardian is five hundred times harder. I already know what I'm getting into, and if you let me, I can select the next Ladybug for you - even after you depart. You won't have to worry about it."

I searched her eyes. "You can go, have a full and loving life with Luka, and put all of this behind you."

"You would do that? For me?" she asked.

"In a heartbeat, Milady," I said gently. "And I think you know that, too. What I can't understand is why you've not asked me."

Ladybug frowned. "You'd temporarily possess both the Bug and the Cat," she pointed out. "That would be rather dangerous, don't you think?"

I looked at her. "You can't honestly believe I'd pull a Hawkmoth."

"It's not that," she said defensively. "I've already already considered it."

That made me blink. "You did?"

"Yes." She looked away again. "No! Not that you'd be Hawkmoth, or some version of it. Just that you'd be in a terrible position, and one I just don't want to put you in."

"You know I can handle it," I implored. "And I wouldn't have the Bug all that long! If you're that worried about it, we settle on a new Bug before you leave. That way-"

"It's a terrible idea," she interrupted. "Simply terrible."

"Then if not me, who? If there's someone out there you think is more qualified than your partner-"

"It's not that!" Ladybug said again, before finally crying out: "I just-I can't-!"

"What?" I demanded, my masked eyes narrowing. I felt like we were on the cusp of a breakthrough, but part of me was suddenly queasy over having finally forced her to the cliff.

Ladybug looked at me, mouth agape mid-sentence. As her eyes started to glisten, she finally spoke, nearly so quiet that my feline ears nearly couldn't hear her voice.

"I won't do that to someone I love. I'll take the whole bloody lot with me before I saddle you with the burden I've had to carry!"

In a blur of red-and-black, she leapt away from me and sailed off into the sky, leaving me clutching at air and looking after her receding form. Part of me wanted to chase after her, but the rational portion of my fur brain recognized she didn't need me around just then.

Only then, as I watched her disappear, did I realize she'd uttered the words I never thought I'd hear.

...someone I love...