She was...warm?

Strangely so. It was a strong sensation, radiating through her ribs and up her shoulder, all the way down to her fingertips. It flowed all over, and then suddenly, just as fast, it was gone.

This is not right.

Elissa jumped, jolted really, into... something. She wasn't asleep. She was just...lost? Confused? What had happened? She struggled to remember what was going on, where she was, but any effort made to think made her head split with pain.

This is not home.

It was a voice. At first, Elissa had thought it was her own thoughts, echoing and vibrating throughout her skull. Now she realized it was coming from around her.

She scrambled to her feet. Nausea threatened to swallow her whole and vertigo almost knocked her back down. The dull ache in her head now consumed her entirely; what little light there was made every throb far worse than it had any right to be.

"Where am I?"

The voice was still there. Soft, but it was so deep it shook her to her core. The very ground beneath her feet felt as if it was rumbling.

Spires swirled above her head. Tall, so tall she couldn't see their tops past the eerie green fog. Everything felt distorted, as if she'd seen it before and she knew what it was, but it wasn't real.

Understanding clicked. This was the Fade, wasn't it?

Safe.

The rumbling was gone now. It had shifted into a contented sigh. Still soft, protecting. The exact opposite of what Elissa had been raised to think of the realm of spirits.

Was that what the voice belonged to? A spirit? Or was it a demon?

Elissa's mind was scattered. She couldn't think straight. Nothing made sense. How she'd gotten here, wherever that was. She couldn't remember anything before...this. Who was she?

There was an odd warmth spreading through her again. It didn't come from her side this time, but the center of her chest, moving slowly and taking its time. It felt so familiar, so safe. It reminded her of Morrigan's healing spells.

Morrigan!

Ferelden. The Blight. Their treaties—the mages. She remembered now, though she wasn't sure how she had come to that conclusion, or where her own thoughts were coming from. She felt...not alone, but it was more comforting than terrifying.

If this was the Fade, being alone would probably be preferable.

Elissa struggled still. She forced herself to power through the headache, to focus on that warmth and her own thoughts. She was trying so hard to remember what had just happened, how she got here. Even when she slept, Elissa remembered never being overly sensitive to the Fade. She rarely dreamt, though when she did, they were often nightmares. Even rarer did they make sense, but now, it seemed she couldn't escape them. Her nights were often filled with thoughtless visions of darkspawn.

The Circle. Elissa was certain that was the final place she had been. Aedan had taken her, Morrigan, and Zevran into the tower in search of the Grand Enchanter. It was the only way the Knights Commander would release the mages' lockdown, and the only way he would let them back out. If they tried to leave before finding the man, or if he was dead, they would be trapped in here, with the demons.

Wynne had been here. Elissa had a short chat with her at Ostagar about the darkspawn. At the time, she wasn't interested in running around with her brother as he searched for the other Warden recruits. The templars had fascinated her in a way only darkspawn could. They too were there to hunt her, but still a curiosity, even if deadly.

She was protecting a group of younger mages, children. The oldest of the group couldn't have been more than fifteen. They looked terrified. This had been their worst fears realized.

If Elissa was perfectly honest with herself, it was probably her own, too. Growing up, she had always vaguely wondered what would happen if she ended up possessed. Would she kill Aedan? Would she die?

Aedan dragging her along wasn't a comforting plan. He hadn't seemed very keen on the idea himself, but somehow, she had ended up on the other side of those doors.

Think!

Elissa wracked her brain. Wynne had accompanied them through the tower. She said she'd seen the Grand Enchanter be taken, along with several of the Circle's best, to something called the Harrowing chamber, before rescuing the children. Whatever that was, all Elissa knew was that it was the highest place in the tower, and that meant a long, miserable trudge through demons and possessed mages.

Morrigan, at the very least, was mildly concerned with the idea of bringing a totally untrained mage into a building where demons were running around freely, so that was something.

But how had she gotten here?

It was so foggy. They had cleared the...third floor? Yes. The third floor. They cleared it and were heading through the library to ascend to the fourth. They'd barely opened the door when a voice said...something.

Sleep.

Whatever manner of spirit this haunting voice belonged to, it was not the same as the one that had put them to sleep. That voice had been different. It didn't radiate the same strength as this one did, but something else entirely. It was like it specialized in what it did to them.

But then, that's what spirits and demons did, wasn't it? They embodied virtues, good or bad. What was this one?

"What are you?" Elissa asked.

She didn't know who she expected to answer. The demon that had trapped her here, or the other thing that seemed protective of her.

There was that feeling again. The tug in her chest, the overwhelming warmth and safety. It felt like a beacon was burning inside of her, her own personal light in the dark.

Hope.

"Is that what you are?"

There was no direct answer, just the same, warm sense of satisfaction that always followed her sporadic use of magic. Elissa understood now it was never her own. Every time she affected the world around her, Elissa was scared, confused, but that thing was always there, helping her brush it off like nothing had happened at all.

And then she was falling, being swallowed up whole, by...herself?

Elissa hadn't even hit the floor when her eyes snapped back open. Coming back to reality, it was like having a bucket of ice thrown on her. It was cold in the tower, but...

Her body was moving? But she wasn't in control of it. How was that possible?

It was then Elissa realized she was fighting. It wasn't her, though. It was like this thing, this spirit, was piloting her body, propelling it to move her shield, her sword. She just watched as it shot ice from her own fingertips. Spells Elissa couldn't even imagine casting, this thing just did. Elissa had never even intentionally used magic in her life, and this thing was flaunting her abilities around like it meant nothing.

She tried to scream. Slam her hands on the walls that were trapping her here. She was a passenger in her own body, and Maker, was it a whole new level of insane.

Her eyes focused on the elder mage, Wynne, clad in the same vibrant red robes she wore at Ostagar. To Elissa, though, all she saw was a white hot heat, and she knew immediately. There was another. Someone else like her, but not nearly so...aggressive. She got the feeling Wynne was in total control of herself.

It was weaker. Whatever was holding Wynne wasn't anywhere near as strong as the spirit holding Elissa hostage.

Everything was a blur.

Aedan was speaking with the others. It had felt like a lifetime passed since she woke, but it had only been minutes. Everything this spirit processed was so strange. It didn't quite understand what her brother was talking about, but when she spoke, it was her own voice, answering the inane garble so fluently.

Elissa didn't know what was going on. Confusion wasn't a new thing for her, but this was a totally different level. Three seconds ago, she had been standing on the docks outside the tower, and now she was here, face-to-face with possibly the largest demon she would ever see.

It felt like a punch to the gut when she was let go.

And where she was, Elissa didn't recognize whatsoever. This wasn't the tower. She was standing on the shores of Lake Calenhad now, staring over the waves as they rolled against her boots. The moon was far overhead, so it was late, but when they had reached the tower, it had been dawn. A new day had barely broke when they convinced the templar guard to take them across the lake to the tower.

Elissa was staring at it when she realized she was in control of her body again. Ankle deep in freezing cold water, staring at the moon and the monstrosity of a spiral. She yelped in surprise, springing out of the lake and onto the sand. Was she barefoot?

Annoyed more than anything now, Elissa sought out for the boots she thought she was wearing, and couldn't seem to find them. As a matter of fact, she couldn't find anything. She had on her tunic and a pair of loose fitting trousers, but she wasn't armed. Her armor was nowhere to be found, either, and now she truly felt that autumn air.

Thankfully, whatever sense that spirit had left her close to the inn at the docks. It was a short walk, lamplight in the windows easily visible from where she found herself. The grass, however cold it might be, did feel good underfoot, and did work to help dry her skin. It was also easy to wipe the sand sticking to her soles off. If there was anything to be grateful for right now, it was that small pleasure.

Zevran was sitting out front, leaned up against the doorframe, twirling one of his daggers on a gloves fingertip. He seemed so entranced, so focused, but that immediately dropped as Elissa came marching up to him.

"Ah, hello, Warden," he said.

That accent of his rolled right off his tongue. It sounded like the elf was purring.

"Where's Morrigan?" Elissa demanded.

Zevran shrugged. "In her room, perhaps."

"And which one is that?"

Elissa was so desperate for sleep she wasn't even sure how she found her room. Between their panicked march north and whatever she had experienced today, her body was absolutely crying for rest.

She shrugged her way into the room, eyes falling immediately on her weapons and armor, folded neatly in a stack on one of the two beds. The spirit had been kind enough to do that, apparently, however ridiculous it was.

She was possessed.

How absolutely fucking absurd. There was no way. It was impossible. Elissa could barely figure out how to use magic. She couldn't even cast an actual spell, just throw around energy until something worked, and she was possessed.

What kind of demon wanted to possess such a clueless moron?

The very idea of it made chills run down Elissa's spine, but she pushed the thoughts and feelings aside. It wasn't a demon, that much was certain. Morrigan had been able to deduce that much, thankfully. It was simply a spirit that took a liking to Elissa at some point in her life, likely at the tower. The Veil was almost non-existent inside the building, that much was obvious even to her. She felt very, very unsafe even here at the docks. She could feel the imbalance.

But Elissa knew better. This thing had been with her her entire life. It was what gave her the energy she needed to carry on when she felt like she was about to drop. It was what casted the few spells she'd ever used.

For whatever reason, this spirit had bound itself to Elissa, and she had somehow remained pure enough to its ideal that it stayed benevolent.

In the Fade, it seemed content with the idea of being a spirit of hope. It had even seemed pleased when Elissa came to that conclusion, but then, how had she managed to keep it so safe? Elissa was well aware she had a lot of problems. Literally anything could send a spirit over the edge and turn it into a demon. Any throw from its virtue, Morrigan said, could be the catalyst.

Elissa had felt pretty fucking hopeless before, and yet it was still, to her knowledge, a happy little thing. It had never made her blackout like that before, so she figured it was happy, anyway.

If it wasn't hopelessness that would corrupt the spirit, and in turn, Elissa, what was it? What was she dealing with?

Groaning, Elissa threw her belongings to the floor and collapsed on the mattress. All thoughts and worries were buried, suffocated. None of that mattered. None of it. Whatever past insecurities she had, couldn't affect her now, for her own sake and that of those around her.