Author's Note: A nice long update for you guys! Hope you enjoy! And no worries - we will earn our M rating soon!
Freddie knelt beside Snape on the floor. It worried her that he wasn't conscious, especially with a head injury. She didn't know what else to do. She didn't know who she could turn to for help. Maybe Dumbledore. But she couldn't leave Snape for the amount of time it would take for her to fetch Dumbledore. She wouldn't.
She decided to treat his other injuries, the burns. She hesitated a moment before unbuttoning his ruined shirt. She knew he wouldn't like it, but he wasn't conscious to protest and she needed to see the extent of his injuries. Her fingers trembled as she unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it away from his chest. The fabric clung to the burns and Snape groaned as she pulled it away.
"Winifred..." he said, almost like a whimper and it broke her heart.
"Severus? Can you hear me?" she asked but he didn't respond. "I've got you. You're gonna be okay. I've got you."
She couldn't help feeling like she was lying. What if he's not okay? What if-...no. Don't think that. Focus. Burns.
She reached for the bottle of Dittany, but it was empty. She'd used it all on his head wound.
That's not the best for burns anyway.
"Ah," she said, picking up her wand. "Accio burn salve."
She expected it to come from the desk. Instead a jar came flying through the destroyed door, from somewhere downstairs.
"That works," she said to herself.
She unscrewed the lid and dipped her fingers in the paste. She began to spread it thickly across his chest. Doing so she couldn't help but recall how he had tended her wounds before. How gentle he had been each time. He cares about me.
"I care about you, too, you stupid, frustrating man. What were you doing? I could have helped you, if you let me, if you'd just let me in," she said softly. "I wish you would just trust me. Just talk to me."
She continued spreading the salve until his burns were covered. She used her wand to cover the burns with bandages. She put the cap back on the jar and checked his head wound again. It looked okay, but she didn't know what was beneath the surface, bone or brain damage. She placed his head in her lap again so she could stroke his forehead. The action soothed her somewhat and she hoped it soothed him.
She didn't know how long she sat there, waiting for him to wake up, hoping, worrying, wondering if she should risk leaving him to go get help. She had almost made up her mind to go to Hogwarts when his eyes opened.
"Winifred," he groaned. "Stupid...I was stupid."
He tried to sit up.
"Stop," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You're injured. Your head – I did the best I could but I don't – you could have a skull fracture or – or brain swelling."
"I'm fine," he said, sitting up with a grunt. His face paled and he didn't try to stand.
"You are definitely not fine," she insisted. "You need to go to the hospital-"
"No."
"At least the Hospital Wing, let Madam Pomfrey-"
"No."
"Severus," she said, exasperated. "You're hurt, you need help-"
"I do not need your help," he snapped.
He got to his feet, stumbled, and nearly fell but Freddie jumped up and put herself under his arm, taking the brunt of his weight so he would stay upright.
"Right," she snorted.
He ignored her, staggering towards his bed. She helped him make it there and he sat on the edge of the bed and pushed her away but it was a weak effort.
"You need a Healer, Severus, or-"
"No," he said. "Go away, go back to your room. Leave me."
"Severus, you need help. If you don't I'll- I'll go to Dumbledore!"
His eyes darkened, and Freddie took a step back.
"You dare threaten me, you insolent little-"
He tried to stand but let out a grunt and sat back down on the bed.
"Severus," she pleaded. "You're hurt. Please."
She felt tears well in her eyes as she looked at him. He noticed and avoided her gaze.
"I'm fine," he muttered, staring at the floor. "I have a concussion, that is all."
"And burns," she said. "Bad ones. You were thrown against the wall, how can you be sure it's just a concussion."
"Because the wall is plaster, not stone," he said, looking to the hole in the wall. "I might have-" He inhaled sharply. "-cracked a rib or two. I will be fine."
Freddie looked at him, feeling distressed.
"Severus," she said softly.
"Why do you care?" he snapped. "You are not the one injured. Why won't you leave me alone?"
"Why? Why?" she said. "Because you're hurt, because your potion exploded, you could have died! Of course I'm worried about you. You're my friend and – and I care about you, you idiot!"
Snape watched her rant, then blew out a sigh and winced.
"I know," he sighed. "...In the hidden cabinet in the cellar, there is a Bone Knit Brew. That will help my ribs as well as my concussion. Fetch it."
She hesitated, not wanting to leave him alone.
"Go, Winifred. I am not going anywhere."
Finally she nodded. She stepped through the mess, over the broken door, and left his room. She hurried downstairs as quickly as possible and retrieved the potion. She also grabbed a Pain-Relieving Potion. She climbed the stairs back up to the second story, half expecting the door to Snape's room to be back on its hinges and sealed against her. She was pleased to see it wasn't.
She entered the room to find Snape standing, bracing himself against the desk.
"You should sit down," she said. He didn't give any indication he heard her.
She approached him slowly, saw him staring at the journal. She could tell from his face, the way his jaw was clenched, that he was hurting.
"You should have told me," she said quietly, coming to stand next to him. She put her hand over his on the desk. "I could help."
"No," he said softly. "No, you could not have helped. This is my own...my own ridiculous obsession."
He clenched his hand into a fist on the desk beneath hers.
"Your friend?" she said gently, cautiously. "You're trying to...bring her back?"
He said nothing but closed his eyes and nodded, almost imperceptibly. He moved suddenly, wrenching his hand away. He grabbed the journal and whirled, unsteady on his feet, and threw it into the fire. He nearly fell again and Freddie took his weight once more.
"Okay," she said, straining slightly under his weight. "Okay, back to bed. Come on."
He let her lead him back to bed and he sat. She looked at the fire, at the burning book, the pages being devoured by the flames.
All those notes, all that work, she thought.
"It is not the first time I have done that," Snape said as if he could read her mind. He groaned slightly as he moved to sit back against the headboard.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly, pulling the potions from her pocket.
"No," he said. "...Even if I could, she wouldn't...I am deluding myself. No, I do not want to talk about it."
"Okay. Here, drink this," she said, handing him the Bone Knit Brew. He took it, tried to uncork it but it was evident he was in pain. Freddie said nothing but covered his hands with hers and uncorked the bottle. He drank the potion quickly and she took the empty vial.
She uncorked the Pain-Relieving Potion and conjured a spoon, but Snape shook his head.
"No," he said. "It will cloud my brain."
"You're in pain."
"Pain is nothing."
"Severus," she said, meeting his gaze. "Please?"
He exhaled slowly, reached out and took the bottle from her. He took a swig, then put the bottle on the nightstand.
"I thought dosage was important?" she asked sardonically.
"You can leave now," he said, sliding down to lay down on the bed.
"No," she said, standing up. She walked across the room and turned the chair back over, pushing it back to the desk. "You have a concussion, you need to be monitored. I should know."
He let out a growl but she could tell the potion was working on him.
"I'm staying," she said firmly. "I'll sit here and read and monitor you, make sure you keep breathing."
"Can monitor myself," he muttered, his voice sounding tired. "You should go to your room...sleep."
"It doesn't work like that," she said dryly. "And I'm young, I can afford to lose some sleep."
Snape didn't say anything else and she assumed he had fallen asleep. She could remember the positively delightful feeling of the Pain-Relieving Potion. She was tempted to steal a sip herself, but she shook her head. She needed to stay awake, to watch Snape. She smiled at his sleeping form, hoping he was enjoying the effects of the potion. As she recalled, it made for some pretty fantastic dreams.
She turned to the desk, looked at the books left on the desk. She opened The Nightshade Guide to Necromancy curiously.
"Do not read that," Snape said thickly and Freddie glanced at him. His eyes were closed. "Necromancy is...a failed Dark Art."
"You should be asleep," Freddie said.
"I am asleep," he responded.
Freddie chuckled to herself. She closed the book and stood up from the desk. She used her wand to clean up the spilled potion and ruined cauldron, then walked over to the bookcase.
There were more books on the Dark Arts, several of them on Necromancy. She browsed the titles a moment, then selected a book called Dark Animals Decoded.
She read a few chapters, glancing at Snape periodically, at the steady rise and fall of his chest. She was reading a chapter on lethifolds when Snape spoke.
"What are you reading?" he asked.
She glanced at him. He hadn't moved but his eyes were open, staring at the ceiling.
"Uh, Dark Animals Decoded," she answered. "Why aren't you asleep?"
"I cannot sleep with someone watching me," he responded. "It is unnerving. Must you sit there?"
"Yes, unless you'd rather I lay down with you?" she teased.
He grunted in response and scooted over on the bed. Surprised, she did not move for several minutes. Slowly she stood, bringing the book with her, and walked over to the bed. He lay perfectly still, his eyes closed, but there was no mistaking the perfect Freddie-sized space he'd made for her on the bed.
Bad idea, bad idea, he's gonna yell at you, she thought, but at the same time she told the little voice in her head to shut up! She kicked her boots off and carefully, slowly lay down beside him.
Like a wild animal, no sudden movements, she thought as she lay her head on the mattress. He had the only pillow. She opened the book, intending to keep reading, but she couldn't concentrate. She was overly aware of his presence next to her, the heat of his body, his scent. She was fighting to keep her breathing steady, her breaths even, like his.
She stared at the page on lethifolds, listening to his deep, steady breaths. It was like a mantra, deep breath in, slow exhale, putting her into a sort of trance. She could not know how much time had passed when the mantra changed and he began to snore. It was soft, gentle, and sort of cute.
Freddie smiled and had to bite her tongue to keep from chuckling. She listened to his soft snores until she finally started to relax. She read a few more chapters until her arms got tired of holding the book over her head. She rolled onto her side, careful not to disturb him.
She was reading about a creature called Swooping Evil when a flash of movement on the nightstand caught her eye. She lowered the book and saw a framed photograph of a red-haired young woman, sitting beneath a tree, smiling. She had a gorgeous smile and she waved at Freddie – or at whoever had taken the picture.
Are you Lily? She asked the picture silently. You must be. Severus' friend, his best friend. His girlfriend? He's never said that but you must have been at some point. He loved you – he still loves you. He's been trying to bring you back – for years apparently. Probably since you died. What makes you so special?
She scolded herself for even thinking it. It wasn't fair to either of them.
So what happened to you? Severus let slip you had a falling out in school. Were you still in school when you died? Did you ever get the chance to reconcile?
Snape groaned softly in his sleep and rolled over, facing her. Freddie held perfectly still and his soft snoring resumed. She continued to gaze at the picture of Lily, pondering.
It must have hurt him to lose you. Badly. It broke him. That must be why he is the way he is, all closed off. I can't imagine how he felt, how he still feels...well, maybe I can.
She thought of Daniel and put the book down, giving up her pretext of reading. She loved Daniel. Not the way Snape so clearly loved Lily, but still... She didn't know which was worse – knowing your friend was dead, or not knowing.
Snape shifted again in his sleep but this time he moved even closer to her. He let out a sound like a moan and reached out for her. Freddie's breath caught in her throat as she suddenly found herself wrapped in Snape's embrace. He threw his leg over both of hers. He had one arm around her body, just below her breast, and the other arm wedged beneath her head.
Freddie tried to force herself to breathe slowly, but her breath came out shaky. Snape was still snoring softly.
She moved carefully, trying to make her head more comfortable on his arm. He tightened his grip reflexively, pulling her closer. His hand threaded through her hair, coming to grip her forehead, holding her entire body tightly.
Wow, she thought silently. Oh wow.
She wasn't exactly comfortable but her body didn't care. Arousal coursed through her at having him pressed so close, holding her so tightly.
Possessively, she thought. Is that a term, possessive sleeper? ,,,I can't fall asleep like this. I'm somewhere between uncomfortable and aroused. Definitely uncomfortably aroused. But he's sleeping so soundly and this is the longest he's ever touched me without pulling away. I don't have to sleep. I can just lay here and enjoy it...