Love You Through It
by Castlefan6
Authors Note SnowKing1701 PROMPT REQUEST - They get together early in the series and a health scare tests their love, but not separate them. We may take liberties with the events and timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, Warning THIS IS AU, with only brief flashes of Canon. MAJOR CHARACTER ILLNESS, NO DEATH PROCEED WITH CAUTION, SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER
Thanks for the Prompt SnowKing1701, I hope I do it justice.
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Chapter 1.
Castle's Loft
Previously from Dust Jackets Dot Com
Beckett, what do you want?
You. (whispered) I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry. (she breathes him in for a moment) I'm so sorry.
What happened?
He got away and I didn't care. (she pauses) I almost died and all I could think about was you. (low) I just want you.
TWO MONTHS LATER
Rick sat at his desk, fingers flying across the keyboard, another chapter, another adventure for Nikki and Rook, and things couldn't be better. After almost 4 ½ years of pursuing Kate Beckett, she had come to him two months ago, at his lowest point, to profess her love for him. The fireworks hadn't stopped between them since the only downer was they had to keep it from their friends and work associates.
After the burst of new love, things settled down to a more reasonable pace, except for this past week. Kate had been on edge, almost like she was fearing something. No matter what he tried, he couldn't crack through her exterior, whatever it was, she would tell him when she felt it was right. He had learned that Kate was complicated, and the best approach was to give her some space to work things through herself before she shared.
This morning she was at the precinct, God how he hated that, he feared for her life every time she left him, but he wouldn't say anything since it was her passion. Something was off, he just knew it, but he didn't know what. He began to think what he had done or said to hurt her feelings, or upset her, nothing stood out, but that didn't mean that he hadn't done something.
Maybe she needed a night out, they had been spending a great deal of time in the Loft, well the bedroom to be specific, perhaps she needed to get out for a nice dinner. He knew better than to make reservations at any of the hotspots the paparazzi hung out at, she hated her business being made public, no matter how hard she tried, she was still a very private person.
He thought, and then had the perfect solution, he took his cell phone and dialed a number he hadn't called in some time.
"Rialto's restaurant, Theresa speaking, how can I help you?"
"Hi Theresa, Rick Castle, say is Mama R there? I want to make a reservation but I need the private room, and entry through the back, I know she's the only one that can authorize that." He asked,
"One moment Rick, I see her coming out of the kitchen, I'll get her, it's good to hear from you again, it's been a while so get ready, Mama is going to let you hear it." She laughed,
"Ello," came the distinctive voice of Mama, and Rick knew that he was going to hear it.
"Hi Mama, Rick Castle here"
"Scuse me, Rick, who?"
"Come on Mama, it's Rick, I know you're angry at me, but a lot of things have been happening, I'm sorry I haven't been by lately."
"Oh, dat Ricky, the one that said he'd be here every week, must have been at least 6 months since I hear from him, a little ole lady like me could have been dancing with the angels, he wouldn't have known, "
"Mama R, you're in perfect health, and of course I would have heard about it, can you yell at me, after I ask the favor?" he laughed,
He heard her voice break into laughter,
"Ricky, where you been, of course, I can reserve the room and arrange the door for you, who is it this time? Not that bimbo from page six a few months ago, is it?
"Mama, PLEASE? You know I only bring special ladies to your place, and yes, this one is special, so I really thank you for forgiving me, she's part of the reason I have been missing. We have spent a great deal of time together; I want her to meet the other lady in my life." He kidded,
"You're a liar Ricky, a good one, and cute, but you know I'm not your type, I'm too tall for you" she laughed out loud, Mama was barely five feet tall,
"OK Mama, how is 7:00 PM tonight, would that work?"
"You got it Rick, and she better be prettier than me, or I'm going to paddle you with the pasta paddle, see you tonight" as she hung up the phone,
Xx
Dr. Shilpa Gupta's Office
Across Town, New York
Same Time Frame,
Kate sat in Dr. Gupta's waiting room as she waited to see the doctor, how the hell did she get here, why now, she was hoping for the best, but her personality had already prepared her for the worst possible news. Usually, Oncologists CALL with good news, it's the can you come to the office to discuss call that convinced her she was not going to hear good news today.
Lanie Parish, her best friend and ME for the City of New York was sitting next to her, trying to keep her calm and upbeat, as best she could,
"Kate, please let the doctor tell you what's going on, it could be several reasons why she wanted to talk to you in person, sometimes it's just the doctor's style to ensure the patient understands the entire story." Lanie offered,
Kate shot her the patented eye roll, and mumbled, "yeah right" and began to pace.
About ten minutes had passed, and a young, attractive lady in a white coat, opened the door, and spoke softly, "Kate Beckett",
Kate turned on her heel and headed to the door, "I'm Kate Beckett, and this is Doctor Lanie Parish, my friend, and moral support, I hope that's OK?" she said quietly
"Of course, Kate, and it's nice to meet you, Dr. Parish, where do you practice?" Dr. Gupta replied in a kind and gentle voice,
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm the Chief Medical Examiner for the city of New York, so don't ask any of my patients for a reference" Lanie tried to laugh,
"Oh, I remember reading some of your articles in the Medical Journals about the waste of organs, encouraging people to become organ donors, Thank you for that, it's very important we keep spreading the word, why don't you come in and make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back." She smiled a reassuring smile, that did little to calm Kate's nerves. Lanie patted her hand as they took their seats across from the Doctor's desk."
"Lanie, when where you published, and why didn't you tell us, that's a great honor," Kate asked, trying to think of anything but the reason she was there.
"Kate, really, you and Rick had just gotten together, Kevin and Jenny were married, I thought perhaps Javi would take the hint, but then I remembered, you two are keeping it secret. I only know, well*"
"You only know because I had a biopsy from the result of my mammogram and now, we're here at an Oncologists office. I'm sorry to dump on you Lanie, but if something is wrong, I can't put this on Rick, not after making him wait so long. All that time, he already is getting damaged goods from my shooting, and perhaps*"
"Stop right there, Kate Beckett, let the doctor tell us what the problem is and what the options are." Dr. Gupta knocked on the door and returned just as Lanie finished speaking.
"Thanks for waiting, I just wanted to get your scans queued up Kate, I'm actually glad Dr. Parish is here, she can help with any of your questions if you authorize her to discuss your medical condition. I know, but HIPPA laws are pretty stringent, so if you will sign this release form we can begin,"
Kate scribbled her name and then returned the form and pen to Dr. Gupta,
"Very well, Kate, can you tell me about your condition, and what you understand so far." She said gently
"Well, I went to my OB/GYN for my checkup, I recently had a change in my sex life, and I needed to have my annual exam, get a prescription for birth control, and …. (she paused) and ask Dr. White about a change on my left breast, a small dimple appeared recently, but there's no pain or anything like that," Kate spoke openly,
"You said you recently had a change in your sexual life, I take it to mean you have a steady partner and now are experiencing relations on a regular basis." Dr. Gupta asked without any judgment
"Yes, I am in a serious relationship now, after almost 5 years with only occasional intercourse, well, it's a lot more now, and well eh, I thought it might have something to do with the dimple Dr. White found in her exam. I know the hormones get all out of whack when we women start things we haven't done for quite a while" Kate stated,
"You're correct about the hormones getting stimulated Kate, but take a look at this screen. This is a cross-section from your biopsy ordered by Dr. White after your mammogram." She displayed an image on the screen, Kate felt Lanie tense, even though she didn't mean to.
Kate stole a look at Lanie, she had tears in her eyes, "OK Doctor Gupta, let's have it straight, what is it, how bad and how long do I have?" Kate asked, almost like she was on auto-pilot, as she turned to view the screen,
"Well, before we get to all that, let's be clear Kate, this is no longer an automatic death sentence to women. Treatment will be a bitch, I won't kid you on that, and yes you will need surgery, but let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet. You have a type of cancer known as Invasive lobular carcinoma (ILC), sometimes called infiltrating lobular carcinoma, it's the second most common type of breast cancer.
"Invasive means that cancer has "invaded" or spread to the surrounding breast tissues. Lobular means that cancer began in the milk-producing lobules, which empty out into the ducts that carry milk to the nipple. Carcinoma refers to any cancer that begins in the skin or other tissues that cover internal organs — such as breast tissue. All together, "invasive lobular carcinoma" refers to cancer that has broken through the wall of the lobule and begun to invade the tissues of the breast. Over time, invasive lobular carcinoma can spread to the lymph nodes and possibly to other areas of the body without the proper treatment.
"We have many things in our favor, the cancer was detected early, and cancer we believe to be stage 11, meaning cancer has grown but hasn't spread. It may be early-stage 111; the cancer is larger and may have spread to the surrounding tissues and/or the lymph nodes but we really won't know for sure until the tumor is removed.
"I've spoken to your Doctor and my colleagues; we all agree that the cancer cells are grade II – cancer cells that don't look like normal cells and are growing faster than normal cells. That's good Kate, of course, grade 1 would be the best, but we aren't to the grade 111 so we can aggressively pursue this cancer and have hope of complete recovery, BUT it will be painful, and it will take time.
"I don't want to sugar coat this, it will be the fight of your life, but believe me, your odds, and the news I get to deliver, I only wish I could to more patients. I know Lanie will be available to you, is your significant other going to be part of your treatment plan, I'm sure he will want to be?"
Kate stiffened, how could she tell Rick she had breast cancer, the man signed women's chests for years, and God she felt bad enough with her natural boobs, now was she going to be without them altogether?
"I don't know yet Doctor Gupta, I have to think about my future I mean, it's not fair to dump this on a new relationship, I may "she stopped as tears came to her eyes,
"Kate, please don't be thinking about what I think you are please don't shut Rick out on this. He's going to find out, this isn't something you can hide, Sweetie let him help you if you don't this will hurt him so badly, I'm not sure he will recover," Lanie was visually upset,
"Kate, part of your treatment is going to require a caregiver, usually a husband, wife, significant other or family member, and although it is a tough job, it almost always brings the family closer once KCA occurs." She smiled,
"KCA? Dr. Gupta, what medical term does that stand for?"
"I'm sorry Kate, Kick Cancer's Ass" she laughed,
"Dr. Gupta, the surgery you mentioned, I mean, eh"
"I understand Kate, I never promise, but in your case, I strongly believe we can perform four rounds of chemotherapy to reduce the tumor, then perform a lumpectomy, as long as your PET scan is clean, and doesn't show any spread of cancer to other areas." Dr. Gupta said confidently,
Kate still had a look of puzzlement on her face,
"I'm sorry Kate, stop me, tell me English or Farsi if you understand that, instead of this foreign medical language they make us talk in. A PET scan is (positron emission tomography scan): A procedure to find malignant tumor cells in the body. A small amount of radioactive glucose (sugar) is injected into a vein. The PET scanner rotates around the body and makes a picture of where glucose is being used in the body. Malignant tumor cells show up brighter in the picture because they are more active and take up more glucose than normal cells do.
"If that scan shows the cancer is still isolated to the breast tissue then we perform a procedure known as a Lumpectomy. During a lumpectomy, we sometimes call it breast-conserving surgery or wide local excision, the surgeon removes the tumor and a small margin of surrounding healthy tissue. We really won't know, even as good as our imaging equipment is until we actually see the cells in the Operating Room under a microscope."
"So, if cancer has spread, I mean what*"
"Kate, let's take this step by step, OK, there's no reason for you to think that, yet. I want to send you for a PET scan as soon as possible, tomorrow if you can. You may also want to notify work you will be on Sick Leave for the next 3 months minimum. I know you catch killers, so do I, so let me do my job this time Kate, OK?" Dr. Gupta was serious as she finished speaking,
"I know my boyfriend is planning something for tonight, should I cancel it or just enjoy one more night, when everything is normal?" Kate asked as tears come to her eyes, finally realizing she is in for a fight of her life, hell for her life.
"Kate, I would suggest you, and is it Rick, go out and celebrate, that may sound crazy to you, but from where I sit, you have already won the first round, you found the deadly disease early. We celebrate every victory, so I'll push the PET scan back till the day after tomorrow.
"This shouldn't impact your desire to make love to your man, do it now, there will be days you won't be well enough to think about it, so enjoy every minute. Even on those days, I encourage the physical touch, even if it's not intimate, let him be part of this Kate, let him help you win the war." Kate looked over at Lanie who was shedding silent tears,
"Thanks, Doctor Gupta, I think I need to go home and have a talk with the man that I love if he wants out, I wouldn't blame him, but if he does now is the time for him to leave. I can't let myself depend on someone who will leave later" Kate's tears now matched Lanie's
"Kate Beckett, that man would walk through hell for you, so don't even think about it, just tell him the truth, and if you need me, I'll be there when you do." Lanie held her hand
"Thanks, Lanes, I think this is a conversation that I need to have with Rick alone, I mean I don't know what I would do without him, but I feel so damn guilty about putting this on him. All this time we could have had, I screwed us out of, so I have to give him the opportunity if he wants it."
Xx
Kate used her FOB, something she was still getting used to, having a key to Rick's loft and walked through the door,
Out of nowhere she was picked up, turned and gathered into a deep kiss, "I missed you so very much, how was your day" He asked,
"I missed you too Babe, you know I love you don't you Rick?" Kate asked, tears filling her eyes
"Kate, you're scaring me, what's going on? Please tell me everything" Rick's face turned ash white
"I will Babe, right after dinner, I knew you made reservations for 7:00 PM,"
"How, what are you?"
"I have my ways". She smiled, as she kissed him deeply, sadness in her eyes, Rick knew something was really wrong, but she wanted to go out to dinner,
"Kate, eh"
"Rick, let's go have a nice dinner, then come home and get into bed, I want you to hold me, tight, and I promise you, I will tell you what's going on, I need tonight with you love, please?"
"Of course, anything you want"
TBC
A/N PLEASE NOTE! This is a very sensitive topic to me personally, it is not meant to be a submission to a Medical Journal nor be 100% Medically correct. I have done my best to keep the diagnosis, descriptions, treatments, and terminology as close to real-life as possible. One thing to keep in mind, no cancer is the same in two people, each of us are different and requires different therapies. Please do not post reviews with what your Aunt, Cousin, etc. did and how the story got the facts wrong, it's not a story about Cancer, but rather Love that will bring them through the terrible days, I have personally lived. Thanks in advance for your consideration, reviews will be monitored closely, and appropriate action taken.