It was a sunday morning, already eight in the clock and Lara Jean was still in her bed to tired to wake up after the last night. She could see through her window, that allowed little light in her room, the hazy weather, the sky had been the same since the past three days now.
Lara Jean's life was nothing like the one most 7th graders want to live but she liked it that way. Being invited to every party, having dozens of friends to hang out with, spending the weekends at the sleepovers was beyond her world. The only friends she had known so far were Margot, her sister, who was an year older, Chris and Genevieve.
Her oven, in which she often baked cookies and cakes was the world to her.
Lying in her bed she was wondering how last night had been so different from the past twelve years of her life.
The image of Peter Kavinsky sitting in front of her on the blue couch kept flashing in her brain. The way his perfect boy-face features looked in the dusky light made her heart skip a beat, the scene from last night kept repeating in her brain, she remembered how everything about him was different, different from all the boys she had ever met, he was leaning close to her, their breaths mingled, the way he stroked her long hair made her forget the world. His mouth slowly opened, as if longing of something, soon his lips were pressed against hers, his tongue seeking way through her lips, she wanted it to go on forever, but she knew it was wrong, very wrong, He wasn't hers, He was Peter Kavinsky, Genvieve's Peter, the Peter whom every girl in her grade loved.
Lost in the thoughts she said to herself. " Why did he do that? "
" Wasn't he aware it was wrong?"
"How could he do that to Gen!"
" How could I do that to Gen!"
It was her way to deal with stressful situations— to talk to herself, about everything she couldn't to others.
" Oh, oh no no, he is Gen's boyfriend Lara Jean!"
" How could you do this to your bestfriend!"
It was so unlike her —so unlike the Lara Jean she used to be, she had never kissed a boy before, she only fantasized about it in her dreams.
That's when her cell phone chimed.
It was Genevieve.
.
Hey, party at Peter's tomorrow. It's his birthday.
.
" I am the worst friend in the world!"
The phone chimed again. It was Gen again.
.
Chris will be there too.
Wanna come?
.
She remembered how she was always invited to parties because of Gen, if you invited Gen you got Lara Jean, people were used to it by now. She threw her phone away and lied on the bed crying —" That's how I repay all the good she has done to me"—she said crying , probably Peter will tell her about it she thought and cried even more. She did not want to go to the party. She did not want to face Gen.
" Have you been sleeping the entire day?" — Lara Jean's dad said from the kitchen as she climbed down the stairs for dinner.
" Not really, I woke up in the morning , was just reading till now."
" So the how was the party."—Margot said sitting on her regular spot near the window in the dining table.
" fine."—Lara Jean said trying to look casual.
"So have you guys thought where are we going this summer?" —her dad asked said.
"To hell"—Lara Jean said quietly and lamely, So no one else could here her.
" Weren't we going to grandma's?"—Kitty said, pouting.
"Your sisters and I don't agree to it. Moreover your grandmother will be at her sister's this summer"—Their dad said
Kitty knew she has lost the argument, so she kept shut.
Lara Jean was not looking forward to going anywhere after this, she felt guilty and wanted to apologize to Gen, but wasn't sure how she'll do that.
As Lara Jean climbed up to her room after dinner. Margot followed her.
" What is it Lara Jean?", —she said
" What?"
" About Peter."
" Nothing."
" Then why are you acting so weird ?"
"Because I am the worst friend. Who in the right mind would kiss her bestfriend's boyfriend!"—tears rolled down her cheeks as she said the words.
That's when Margot realised she should not have started the conversation. She tried getting out of the room without being noticed, but Lara Jean stopped her. Wiping her face with her hands she described what had happened.
" So , Are you in love?"—Margot said trying to sound casual.
" No way."
" Then what about the kiss? you should not have done that!"—stopping for a while she continued-.
" Specially when the guy is your best friend's boyfriend" —Margot said in a way that was taunting for Lara Jean's ears, and she seemed to cry at any moment.
" I didn't kiss HIM. HE kissed ME. I did not wanted ..."—She started to cry again.
Trying to comfort her Margot said, — " It is not that wrong either. Peter is handsome. I mean any girl in your place would have acted the same way, even if the right practically goes to Geneveive. And I don't think Gen would care either. She hangs out with some basketball players."
" So, was it right?"
" No, but you can't change what happened, Just make sure you apologize to Genevieve ASAP."
Margot had a point here so Lara Jean did not talk further. She was the only one Lara Jean could trust at the moment.
" Now don't obsess over Peter and try thinking about where are we going this summer." ,—saying this Margot walked out.
She kept thinking about Peter and her. About Peter and Gen. And knew deep down that she loved Peter. Everything about him. Did Peter loved her too? If he did, how would Gen react? Will Peter ever kiss her again? Or was it just a joke played on her by him. All such questions flooded her needed an answer. She needed it now.