TITLE: by any other name

SUMMARY: Lily Evans was still Lily Evans. Even when she wasn't. (SI!OC)

A/N: Well, whilst the worlds kind of at a standstill - thought I must bust out this old thing and rewrite it. It's been tweaked and changed but I thought it best post it now before I chicken out. Let me know what you think and if there's anything to be improved on! Hope you guys enjoy it and I hope you're all keeping safe!

Lily J. Evans was supposed to be perfectly normal.

Just like her parents, just like her sister - it was an unspoken expectation. She was supposed to wake up every morning and go about an ordinary morning ritual.

Some dreaded the moment they woke up; they clawed their way out of bed to search for a decent cup of coffee. Others, a strange set of folk, managed to wake up early without even truly making an effort. Odd people who liked to exercise and be productive before nine in the morning.

She liked to think that she was somewhere between the two.

Lily had her own morning routines and it usually involved rolling out of her bed, trotting into the small bathroom across the hall. Most days she simply got ready for school but some days were harder than others. Days which felt like her head was in the clouds but her shoulders were heavier; a little distant from everything close to hand, like she wasn't truly present in her own body.

Those days, she climbed onto the small stool her mum had given her for the sink and stared into the mirror.

Red hair.

Green eyes.

A strange birthmark on the back of her neck which her dad said was the shape of a giraffe. She'd have to take his word for it, it's not like she could actually look.

There was nothing groundbreaking about seeing her own reflection but it was reassuring. That this was all real, that this wasn't a dream. The more her expression twisted and turned, catching every angle of her own face, the easier it became to breathe.

"My name's Lily Evans, I'm ten years old," she'd say, over and over again. "I'm not Lauren Bakewell, I'm not twenty nine."

It was a phrase she'd been repeating since she learned to talk.

Did she really relearn though?

If someone pointed at her one day and asked, "Hey, who's that?"

Then everyone who knew her would say, Lily Evans because that's who she'd always been, to them.

They would include her family.

Despite how shitty the area was, the Evans family were well-off. They had a decent sized house in Cokeworth, three bedrooms though Lily liked to complain every now and then about being shoved into the smallest room in the house. Their garden was used for the lazier days, on the rare occasion when the weather was nice but Lily loved the gate at the bottom of the garden most. The thin fence separating them from the roaming fields and meadows at the back of their house.

They also had a cat, one which she insisted was secretly plotting her untimely demise. His name was Scuttle and she had a running bet with her dad that he was possessed by the devil.

A quiet and unassuming family just living their lives and going about their normal everyday business.

Her mum was a housewife, Rosaline Evans because, like most children, she'd learnt the hard way that her parents' names weren't just mum and dad. Tough as old boots, made a mean cottage pie and swore like a sailor whenever she thought no one could hear her. Still, she was honest enough to keep the swear jar topped up, placed on top of the fridge to be used for rainy days.

A quid for every bad word and that went for everyone in the house.

Robert Evans wasn't big on swearing, he stuck to the occasional 'for fucksake' whenever he was frustrated. He worked as a police officer, leading to many childhood pictures of them wearing his hat. She'd originally thought he was a spy but it wasn't that much of a letdown. He was still warm and soft and always up for cuddles and piggyback rides; even when she and Petunia were getting a little too big for them.

Petunia.

Petunia had been the bitter pill to swallow.

It was safe to say that Lauren… that Lily had acknowledged that there was the faintest possibility of her being That Lily Evans. It didn't seem likely but what about the entire situation seemed likely in the first place?

Lauren had read about Lily Evans or more accurately, she'd read about her son. She'd enjoyed the same book saga as both child and adult. Of course, she wasn't a central character but she'd be referenced many times.

If Petunia wasn't there, she could've brushed it aside as coincidence.

Admittedly, they didn't look alike.

Petunia quite obviously leaned on their father's side for her looks whilst Lily tilted towards their mothers. It was as simple as that. Petunia's hair was a thick dark blond with almost untameable curls, thin lips with a gentle dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose. The only thing which truly bound them together was the eyes, those famous eyes, the exact same shape with only a few shades difference.

It was difficult, at points, to push past the memories of a different family and embrace the one she had. Then again, it was hard not to love the people who loved you unconditionally back, to grab onto them with iron-like grips and refuse to let go.

Eventually, she stopped questioning the hows of the situation. It became easier to just… let go because she didn't need nor want Lauren. The memories eventually faded and Lauren bled into Lily, so she wasn't one or the other. She wasn't Lauren Bakewell but she most definitely wasn't Lily Evans either.

At least, the one she'd read about.

"Miss Evans," Mrs. Jacobs wasn't a school favourite by any means. Most of her students were happy to escape her reach. An old crone with a meter stick that she liked to slap down onto their desks when she thought they weren't paying attention. Some came away unscathed, some… the bruised knuckles spoke for themselves. "I have to say, I'm disappointed."

Well, that was a shitty thing to say.

A sour churning in her stomach, she grimaced.

Everyone else was outside on the playground, it was what breaks were for. Instead, though, she was stuck inside with Mrs. Jacobs, Mrs. Jacobs fox scarf and Bobby-Nose-Picker. Personally, she preferred the fox scarf to both her teacher and the little shit who'd started all of this.

He was a kid, a little boy and sure, she was supposed to be a touch more mature than him. Did that mean she was going to allow the nose-picker to kiss her? No, no it did not.

Nose-Picker sent her a vicious look of triumph. He knew whose side the teacher would take because he was the one with the grazed hands and scabby knees; she was the quiet one who flat out refused to speak sometimes when called on in class. "I'd expect this from other students but not you."

Lily mumbled under her breath, it was nothing coherent though. Her eyes firmly fixed on her mary-janes, wondering if she could sink through the floorboards entirely.

The old crone sighed.

"Alright, you're going to apologise to Bobby and you're also going to stay inside for breaks for the next couple of days," it was said as if Mrs Jacobs was letting her off easy. That vicious look of triumph turned smug and Lily was tempted to punch him again.

Lily looked up, indignant.

"He tried to kiss me!"

"Lily," she reprimanded as if it was something to brush under the rug but Lily was sick of hearing 'boys will be boys'.

Mature or not, she was tempted to stomp her feet. Why couldn't she see that what he did was wrong too? It was frustrating because they were the ones who cornered her, he was the one to pin her up against the fence and tried to put his filthy lips on hers! Why was she the only one being punished?

Her fists clenched and unclenched, jaw tightening because she knew she couldn't do a thing about it. There was just that churning sensation in her stomach which gave way to searing hot anger. It was like she was fizzing, bubbling and bubbling until-

Pop!

The fox scarf suddenly reared up from around Mrs. Jacobs neck, snarling.

Lily and the Nose-Picker reared back with a yelp and even Mrs. Jacobs screamed. The fox lunged for her raised hand and sank its pearly teeth deep into the palm.

As quickly as it started though, the fox went limp again.

Nothing more than a scarf.

Lily heard her blood pulsing in her ears.

Holy shit.

By the end of school, Mrs. Jacobs had seemed to forget about Lily's punishment and the fox scarf mysteriously disappeared from around her shoulders. Even Bobby had brushed over it but Lily couldn't shake it out of her head. Petunia, who'd taken to waiting outside of the school gates for her when she moved up to high school, frowned when she came out.

The two of them headed over to the small gate which led out to the fields behind their house, a shortcut home rather than walking the long way around. Most of it was done in silence until Petunia had obviously had enough of her sulking.

"Did Miss Jacobs give you a hard time again?" She asked with her hands on her hips.

"Sorta," was all Lily could manage, chewing her bottom lip until it was sore.

"She was a right cow to me when I had her, don't worry about it," she knocked their elbows together with a small smile as if that could wipe away any concerns she'd have. Say what you wanted but Petunia tried to be a good sister. A little awkward and nosy but well-meaning.

Eventually, Lily did tell her what happened.

They stopped by the willow tree, a small clearing they'd declared theirs. A small stream running past and they'd had more than a few picnics there, sometimes with the whole family and sometimes the two of them with their stolen snacks.

"- and then Bobby tried to kiss me," Lily grimaced in conclusion to the long-winded story on why she had to stay in the classroom for lunch. "He proper went for it as well."

"So you had to push him over? And call him a- a- " Petunia was actually rather pink as she tried to stop her laughter, a hand clamped to her ribs as if it'd prevent her from literally busting a gut. Lil groaned, head tilted back and her eyes screwed shut like it could erase the memory from her mind entirely.

"... a fire breathing twat mobile." Lily murmured.

"Oh my god." At that point, her sister sat down just so she could try to breathe properly.

"It's not funny!" She found herself stomping her foot, her own laughter reigned in but also frustrated that no one was taking her seriously. "He tried to put his lips! On my lips! Bobby picks his nose and eats them in his spare time! If he kissed me, I could have died!"

She was lucky that the field was empty because Petunia was howling.

"Mum- Mum is gonna lose it," Petunia cried out, hiccuping as she wiped the tears away. "Fire breathing twat mobile."

"Not my best line," Lily admitted, gnawing on her lip again.

"It's your bestest line, ever." Her sister was quick to disagree, finally managing to uncurl herself from the ball she'd ended up in and the laughter abated. Even if there were still tear streaks down her flushed cheeks.

Of course, with that story came the consequences… and what had happened in the classroom.

Petunia seemed like the obvious choice to confide in on what had happened.

Lily never told her parents about the weird stuff.

They'd already had a couple of letters home already about the paint which had mysteriously spilled over other students or books which had flown from shelves. She'd immediately confessed to doing it on purpose because it was easier than trying to explain it without them thinking she was crazy- or had an overactive imagination.

Petunia believed her and that was what counted.

"How do you do it?"

"Dunno, a lot of the time, it's when I'm mad," Lily murmured because thinking about magic hurt her head. It was a contradiction trapped inside her body, hot but cold, lively but calm. There wasn't any fixed explanation for it. She'd animated Miss Jacobs terrible fox scarf, enchanted her pillows to float around her room like planets, made her cauliflower grow legs and run off her plate when her mum told her she wasn't allowed desert until it was gone. Lily despised cauliflower.

They laid there in the long grass for a while.

"Would you show me?" Petunia asked quietly.

With only a second of hesitation, Lily raised a hand, knowing instinctively what she was doing because the daisies surrounding them were plucked from the ground. They twirled against the wind in a dance to an unheard song. It felt like warm water running through her arm, the current of magic. It felt as natural as breathing.

"I wish I could do this stuff like you can," Petunia murmured and there was a twinge of longing that felt like a punch to her gut. From the recesses of her mind, where the vestiges of Lauren remained, a voice whispered about how this was going to tear them apart and the daisies suddenly dropped like stones. Petunia didn't seem to notice though, just continued. "I mean it- it just seems so cool."

"I'm worried I'm gonna hurt someone or myself," Lily confessed, the two of them laid in silence until Petunia rolled over, wrapping around her little sister like a cat. "I mean, that fox bit Miss Jacobs and- and I have no idea what I'm doing with it."

As jealous as she was, Petunia wrapped her arms around Lily.

"S'okay, we'll work something out."

With the sky getting darker, they eventually left their spot and realised they needed to be home soon. Mum always told them to be home before the streetlights came on. They trampled through the fields and hopped over a fence rather than going through the back garden, their dad told them off enough times for using the shortcut. Something about trekking in mud into the house?

Spinners End was only around the corner though and they'd make it home in time, even if Petunia didn't like walking through the area. Sure, it wasn't bad or anything but it didn't have the most stellar reputation. Enough so that Lily was forced to hold her sister's hand for the rest of their walk home.

"Could you make the daisies float higher?"

"I think so?"

"We learned about gravity in science though so how d'you do it?"

She didn't have the heart to tell Petunia that it wasn't something that she could learn.

"It's because she's a witch." A small voice blurted out.

They turned to look and the small boy flinched back at their stares. He'd obviously heard what they were talking about, saw something. There was another nudge, another whisper from the back of her head and Lily wondered what she was forgetting, like an itch on her brain, a piece to a puzzle. On the tip of her tongue!

Petunia made a noise in the back of her throat.

"That's not very nice." Her sister insisted with equal passion, brow pulled together and she looked ready to holler for their parents or squash the boy like a bug underneath her boot. Lily beamed up at her sister despite knowing what he said was technically true.

"I didn't mean-" Oh, she almost felt bad for him, the pink hue which stretched over the bridge of his nose and the tips of his ears. "You've got magic, that's what I mean."

Lily's head tilted to the side as she considered him, he was small, about their height. His hair seemed to be unwashed and in a raggedy cut that didn't really suit him. His nose was a little too large for his face but it was the kind he'd grow into. There was something soft… eager and vulnerable about him.

"I'm Lily," She introduced herself, holding out her hand much to Petunia's aghast.

"I'm Severus." He chirped, smiling in a way that made his entire face light up.

Lily blinked.

Oh.

That made so much more sense.