"Who you sleep with is none of my business, but the lab tech, really? That's inappropriate".
"Detective, I'm not sleeping with Ella," Lucifer told her.
"Oh. You're not?" Chloe was a little embarrassed that she'd just made assumptions like that.
"No! Of course not!"
Chloe breathed a sigh of relief.
"Her abuelita would have my hide if we did that whilst simply dating".
"WHAT?!".
*
Chloe drug Lucifer into a nearby conference room and practically threw him into a chair. She slammed her hands down onto the table as she leaned into his face.
TELL.ME.EVERYTHING.
Before the devil could open his mouth, Dan opened the door.
"Hey Chlo, I got that report you wanted...what's going on here?".
"Lucifer here," Chloe said as she side-eyed her partner, "was just going to tell me how he started dating Ella".
"You mean screwing".
"No Dan, just dating," she informed him," they haven't even had sex yet".
Dan quietly walked over to the conference room door, locked it, then came back and sat down across from Lucifer.
"Oh for the love of..." Lucifer threw his hands in the air, " you too, Douche?".
"Oh yeah, there's no way I'm missing this".
"Fine, if you both insist". With that, Lucifer began the tale of how he got together with Ella.
*
He thought she was beautiful the first time he'd saw her. Those raven tresses and skin touched by sunlight would be enough to make any man's mouth water. Then,she told him how she felt that the Devil gets a bad rap and didn't really think he'd done anything that bad.
Despite the fact that she didn't believe he was the devil (a method actor, honestly), he knew he wanted to get to know her better.
"Uhm...Miss Lopez"
"Please," she interrupted, "call me Ella".
"Very well then, Ella, would you mind accompanying me to dinner this evening?".
Her eyes lit up with joy. "That would be amazing Luce..ifer. I haven't met too many people around here, yet".
"Lovely, I'll pick you up at the precinct after work, say around 8pm?".
"I'll be ready," she said as she grabbed him into another embrace.
She went back to her work after letting go, and Lucifer trotted over to his partner with an extra spring in his step.
*
"So that's why she looked so nice after work that day," Dan mused.
"Ok, so what happened next?". Chloe asked as she finally collapsed into a chair.
"Well, I was getting to that before our Douchey Interlude here".
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Just get on with the story, Lucifer"
*
Lucifer pulled up to the precinct to find Ella waiting for him in the parking lot. She was wearing a gold Lamé dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. Her hair was down and gently combed to the side. She was the most gorgeous thing the Devil had ever seen.
When Ella seen his car, she squealed with delight.
"Dude! Is that a 1962 Chevrolet Corvette C1?!".
"I take it you're an automobile aficionado?" Lucifer asked.
"Oh yeah, the faster the better! I would have killed to have driven one of these, back when I used to steal cars".
Lucifer looked at her with awe. "My, my, you are a naughty little nerd, aren't you?".
She jumped into the passenger seat and stuck her tongue out at him.
"Shut up and take me to dinner, Devil Man!".
"Gladly,"he chuckled as he got in the car and drove off.
He took her to a restaurant called
Pips on Labrea,
an upscale dining establishment that offered live Jazz music. Between the food and the atmosphere, Ella was in Heaven. They ended up splitting dessert, laughing as they attempted to feed each other bites of cheesecake.
Not wanting the night to end, Lucifer asked Ella if she'd accompany him back to Lux for some dancing. She readily agreed.
They danced for several hours down in the club, before moving up to the Penthouse, where Lucifer put on a slow song so they could sway closely with each other.
They came back downstairs at around three in the morning, to wait for Ella's Uber. Lucifer gave her a lingering kiss, reluctant to let go just yet.
"Can I see you again, Ella?".
"We see each other all the time, Luce," Ella joked, nerves dampening the humor.
"I don't just mean work. I want to see you like this as well...only you".
Ella looked at him with wide eyes. "Are you, asking me to be your girlfriend, Lucifer?".
"I suppose I am".
"I'd love to," she said before kissing him again, "just don't expect sex right away, or abuelita will throw her shoe at you".
"Far be it from me to offend the footwear of your dear abuelita".
She laughed at that, then gave him one more peck on the lips, before getting into the Uber that had just arrived.
As he watched the car drive away, Lucifer could only come to one conclusion.
He was completely, irrevocably, in love with Ella Lopez.
*
"So, not only did you not have sex, but you agreed to monogamy? All after the first date?!".
"I believe that's what I've been saying, Daniel," Lucifer said annoyed,"do keep up".
Chloe interrupted them before they could get into a fight. "So when I walked in on you two at the penthouse the other night, what was all that tension about? What happened if you didn't have sex then, either?".
"Well, you see Detective, I wanted Ella to be safe from my conniving mother...".
"Wait," Dan interrupted, "you have a mom?".
"Well you should know, Daniel, you slept with her".
"CHARLOTTE'S YOUR MOM!".
"YOU SLEPT WITH CHARLOTTE!".
Chloe and Dan yelled at the same time, then turned to look at each other.
"I didn't realize you were seeing anyone, Dan," Chloe said bitterly.
"I'm not, it was just a one time thing cause I was upset about the divorce!".
"But you filed it?" Chloe pointed out.
"Because I thought that's what you wanted?".
"Oh for Dad's sake, would you two just bone later?" Lucifer shouted,"and don't give that look, Detective, because you've been up at my penthouse drunk, at least twice this week, whining about Dan leaving ".
Chloe turned bright red while Dan cleared his throat to change the subject.
"So you were saying something about protecting Ella from your family?".
"Right then," Lucifer nodded, "let's continue".
*
Ella walked into the penthouse with an anxious feeling. Her boyfriend had been acting off for several days now, and she was extremely worried.
She felt a sense of relief when he came out of the bedroom and quickly embraced her.
"Hello, my love," Lucifer murmured into her hair.
Lucifer pulled back and led Ella to sit on the couch.
"What's going on, Luce?".
"Recent events with my family have caused it to where I need to reveal some things," Lucifer sighed before he continued, "I was hoping to delay this a little bit longer...just for a few more moments of sunshine".
Ella clasped one of his hands into hers, "whatever you need to tell me, I promise I can handle it ".
"You might not be able to keep that promise, my love," Lucifer took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "just remember that, despite what I'm about to show you, I'm still the same person. I would die before ever hurting you".
Then, Lucifer's face changed.
Ella stared at him for a long moment, then put her hand on his ravaged cheek.
"Does it hurt?" She asked quietly.
"Not anymore".
"Good," then she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him senseless.
He changed back to his normal face, tears running down his cheeks.
"You truly are a marvel, Ella López".
*
"Okay, so basically you revealed this big secret of yours, Ella's cool with it, and you still haven't had sex with her".
"That's the jist of it, Detective".
"Wow" Chloe sat back with Dan,absorbing the situation, "never thought I'd see the day".
"Well, this has been entertaining, but I must go check on my lovely little girlfriend. You two have fun in here". With that, Lucifer exited the room, leaving Chloe and Dan alone.
"So," Dan started, "should we reconsider the divorce?".
*
Later that evening, Lucifer and Ella were cuddling in his bed, watching one of those cheesy sci-fi flicks she loved.
"So, cats out of bag on us, huh?".
"Fraid so, darling," Lucifer drawled,"not that I was ever hiding it in the first place ".
Ella laughed before she rolled over to face him. "I love you, Lucifer".
"I love you as well, Ella".
She kissed him gently before pulling back."Will you make love to me?".
"Are you sure?".
"Damn sure".
He chuckled as he rolled them over, and the rest of the night was spent with the devil basking in his own slice of Heaven.