Tears Shed From A Drunken Conversation
Mark talks to Derek about how Addison is in Bed.
Someone who cares about Addison had been listening and they sure set the record right.
MerAdd. MarkAndDerek.
"Addison she's such a kinky whore in the sack" Mark Sloan says to Derek Shepherd because he's his best friend and for some reason Derek considers this to be an acceptable phrase coming out of the mouth of someone who has also slept with his ex-wife.
They're drinking the good scotch that Derek had hidden in the back of his trailer for nights like this when he was alone and when Mark came to visit him the bottle was already open so it would be rude of him if he hadn't offered.
"Like she actually growls when you spank her - have you ever spanked her Derek? - because I swear to you it's worth your while if you're into that because she's so into that and she's got the most luscious most curviest fine ass '' Mark Sloan drones on as Derek pours them each another scotch.
"You know I'm not sure if I'm ever going to experience that Mark because after you screwed her she became my ex-wife and divorced people don't generally fall into bed with their ex-lovers" Derek explains.
They're over this enough not to be bitter about it and Mark has taken to teasing Derek for no other reason to see what he has to say about his own ex-girlfriend's sexual prowess.
"She sort of almost bit my ear off of me once" Derek adds to the conversation finally remembering something significant. "She was all jealous that I was staring at someone I thought I used to know and so she slammed me against the back of the bedroom door and she was biting my ear until it was bleeding" Derek explains.
"That's super hot," says Mark with interest.
"It was sort of painful - that woman has teeth" Derek sort of winces at the memory.
"Did she ever ask you to tie her up in bed?" asks Mark, baiting Derek.
"Why did she ask YOU to tie her up in bed?" asks Derek with exclamation.
"You first I asked you first" Mark deflects.
"No, she never asked me to tie her up. Why did she ask YOU to tie her up?" Derek asks angrily.
"No I just wanted to know that's all" says Mark with a strangle and Derek swears he could strangle Mark Sloan right then and there.
How they always ended up in this sort of predicament speaking with each other about the girls that they had both fought and lost over after it happened they had no honest idea.
"So what else did you do to that adulteress bitch?" Derek asks and he actually seems to want an answer.
"Well, I would take off my pants and the moment I did she would jump my bones like it was a conditioned response" Mark chuckles, secretly giving Derek an easy one.
"I'm not sure that's so special. I'm pretty sure that's just how the plumbing works" Derek laughs as if he's figured something out and he feels strong again.
"So did you enjoy sleeping with her?" Mark Sloan asks simply. "You're asking if I enjoyed sleeping with my own ex-wife?" Derek says sort of incredulously.
"Well, she IS your EX-wife" Marn never fails to mention. "I mean it just wouldn't have been a terrible reason to end it all if you weren't enjoying the sex with each other that's all" Mark continues casually.
"Well like I said I think she's my ex-wife because you banged her in my bedroom at the Brownstone," Derek says bitterly now. He really does not like to think about that night any more than he has to.
"It doesn't have to be this way" says Mark almost… tenderly? Which makes absolutely no sense at all.
"Have to be what way Mark?" Asks Derek. "Has to be about you and me talking all alone in these goddamned woods because you literally screwed me out of all the good things we had" he hisses.
"Derek you and I both know that you and Addie were almost over before I ever became a part of that picture" Mark says insistently.
"We weren't almost over" Derek tries to argue but it's futile.
"You were hardly ever home Derek. She would cry in the night and call me to come over and just hug her because she knew you wouldn't be home and she needed someone to be there for her because one of the babies on her service had been still born and she had to tell the mother who had been trying to conceive for a quarter of a century she was infertile" Mark basically begs him to understand what he'd done to her.
Somehow it hits Derek even harder when Mark said it than when Addie did because Derek looked down into his hands over his eyes to hide just how dark and stormy the swirling inside of them was.
"You didn't do it to hurt her. I know that Derek I know. I just wanted you to know Derek. I just wanted you to know that you hurt her, but not that you hurt her on purpose that wasn't my point" Mark is trying to console him now because he's hurting.
And he's hurting too. And Mark may be a manwhore and he may be many things but Mark is not a man who likes to listen to his friend hurting and to walk away from that. So he stays.
"So tell me about this super special secret scotch" Mark tucks his arm around Derek's shoulders as he used to when they were small and Derek starts talking and talking about the years and the maker until he's so tired and still that all he can hear is his own breathing and all that he can see are the tears streaming down his best friend's face.
And Mark Sloan holds onto Derek like his life depended on it and holds him as he cries. And Mark wishes he could take Derek's pain away because a part of him always wishes that he could have whatever the golden boy has that he hasn't and that was why he took Addison from him when he did because he could and also because Addison had been crying then too and she had wanted him then.
Because underneath all the bad boy veneer that Mark likes to shine for Derek is the truth, and the truth is that when it comes to his bestest friend Derek is that he's always seen things the way through Addison's eyes the way she used to because she used to look at him like he was the sun, and that is still the world as Mark sees it.
And maybe Mark would never know the way that Derek sobbed so so hard right then when he finally let go of his ugly crying fit to hug Mark even closer to his heart was when Mark soothed his hand through Derek's hair and kissed his head to tell him that it was all going to be alright
And neither of them noticed that a silent figure had been standing there listening all along so their eyes shot up like starlets when they recognized the voice that was to say this:
"You know you're both right" she starts right before she finishes. "Addison really IS such a kinky whore in the sack" she adds for good measure. "She moans like it's sinful and she never takes more than she gives back" the woman tries to explain. "Only did you know that she's more of a kinkier and whore-ier whore for me than she ever was for the likes of both of you combined" she concludes. "So go back to boys, both of you Derek and Mark. Or better yet go bang each other the way you always seem to want to but never get to go through with because as for me, after you butt-dialed me out here to the dead middle of the woods at this hour of the night to see you snuggled up there on the step all warm and cozy makes me want to punch the both of you out and talk all about it" she snaps.
"And the only person I want to talk all about it too is my girlfriend who just happens to be Addison freaking' Montgomery so you can stop talking to each other about how much of a blast she's been to you in bed because from now one it's going to be me who has her begging for more and it's going to be me who says it's really something sick the way men talk about how they screw women behind their backs".
And Mark and Derek both stare up at the girl, stunned before they both try to say "Sorry" at the same time but they never get to hear her reply because she's already sticking her keys into the ignition to drive all the way out of there.
"Oh, and if you ever do run into Addison again and you want to think about hitting on her again, well you can tell her to her face that Meredith Grey agrees that she's got the most luscious most curviest fine ass"
Meredith smirks as she squeals her foot pedal to the metal to get back home to tell Addison just about how awesome their evening was beginning.