THE BROKEN IDEAL
Full Summary:
With the sudden appearance of Quirks; newly discovered superpowers, the human race was forcefully ushered into an era where superhumans were the norm and those born powerless the minority. Midoriya Izuku was once such an individual, born Quirkless or without any power. Yet despite the unfairness of his situation he refused to give up on his dream of becoming a hero until eventually, he succeeded.
He was a man once touted as the 'Symbol of Peace', only to be betrayed by the very country he had sworn to protect once the nature of his power was made known to the public. He was blackmailed, captured, and experimented on until eventually, he died due to an experiment gone wrong...
I was supposed to be the Symbol of Peace, but in the end, I couldn't even save her of all people. I can still remember the warmth in her voice as she said, "If only I could be with you…but this moment will have to be enough."
An author's note will be posted at the end of the chapter.
CHAPTER 1: THE FALLEN SYMBOL
The only thing on my mind is the pain; a searing hot pain that has branded itself onto my abdomen. It isn't sharp like a needlepoint or a knife, it burns around my innards better than boiling water. I could feel my whole body heating up as the sweat rolled off my skin. Gradually, I began to lose sight as my vision blurred, but not because of tears. With each passing second, I could feel less and less of my body. I found it increasingly hard to breathe as my heartbeat seemed to slow down, and then I saw nothing at all.
When I came to, my 'consciousness' was floating through an empty space that seemed to have no end. I barely had time to process where I was when I was bombarded with memories from my life. I clutched my 'head' as my 'body' writhed around in agony. It was way too much information for me to process in one go.
After an unknown amount of time, I gradually got used to the pain. Key events began to shape up in my mind, as I discarded everything else. I remember the experiments; all the pain and suffering I had been put through. And yet, strangely enough, I felt no anger. Only sadness and confusion.
"Why? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?" I wondered. My whole life I have only ever wanted one thing, and that was to be a hero. So, when I found out that I was born Quirkless and couldn't be a hero...
Well, there was a reason I refused to accept reality for such a long time. I did stupid things liking trying to bend a spoon with my mind, for years on end, without any results. And even then, I still refused to believe...
I hoped for a miracle, and that miracle came to me in the form of All Might; the man who inspired me to be a hero in the first place. When he told 'me', the worthless, Quirkless, me, that I could be a hero - it was honestly the happiest day of my life. That all the constant pain and humiliation I had put up with for years and years on end, was worth it. That I wasn't the waste everyone thought me to be.
I know that such a way of thinking is wrong; that I shouldn't have lived my life based on how I think others perceive me, but on what I think of myself. I can see that now. I just wish I could've realized that back then.
Perhaps if I had opened up to my mom a bit more...if I had bothered to create a relationship with my dad, then things might've been different, but I was so angry at my dad. Angry that he left me and mom, alone, especially when I needed him the most. But what the 4-year-old me failed to realize is that he is also a human too. He can't do everything, he can't be there for everyone, and like me, he has his flaws. But for me, other than All Might, dad was my hero; he could do anything and everything! That is what I truly believed.
I had this absurd notion, that if my dad was there, he could fix everything. Tell me that the doctor was joking when he said I was Quirkless, and if not, help me awaken my entirely nonexistent Quirk. So, when he wasn't able to do either, the adoration I had for him turned into hatred...in the end, I just looking for someone to blame, because that was by far the easiest thing for me to do.
I'm starting to question what All Might saw in me. How could someone so warped and twisted like me have been worthy of his power? At least Kaachan was honest with feelings, while I have been from the start, nothing but a two-faced liar even willing to use his own father as a scapegoat to keep my precious dream alive.
|[|]|
I once read somewhere in some book that the darkness "presses in", but it really doesn't. The darkness caresses your skin like a lover would and whispers excitedly in your ear, "I will never let you go!"
At this point, I have no idea how long I've been here, only the longer I stay here, the less I remember of my past. All that remains is a single image. And I have this feeling when that too fades away, I will cease to be. From there onward, I would no longer be Midoriya Izuku, but a nameless soul wandering about the empty space.
And while that does make a part of me feel relieved, I do not want to forget everything just yet. There are still a few things that I wish to hold onto, like my memories of 'her'.
I can faintly remember the faltering petals of snow, and the distant ever so opaqueness of the full moon. The craven of the sky filled with stars that could only possibly be described as cold, unforgiving, and yet gentle with a beauty that transcends the confinements of language. The white lands, that stretched and grasped all within its reach. Amidst all this, she stands - an abnormality; giving out warmth like no other, and that beautiful smile...
I was supposed to be the Symbol of Peace, but in the end, I couldn't even save her of all people. I can still remember the warmth in her voice as she said, "If only I could be with you…but this moment will have to be enough."
The coldness of her body as I held her to my chest. "… I w-want you to remember…e-even if the world turns its back on you…know that I am there, and that I will always…always…"
She struggled even to find the strength to speak. And then all of a sudden, her body seemed to be overflowing with vitality, as she cupped my cheek with her hand, smiling brilliantly, "I will always love you, my dear Izuku."
And then her hand fell from my face, her beautiful ocean blue eyes, lightless...
Her death broke me. The grief I had felt came in waves. First, I couldn't eat, and then I couldn't even sleep. Where once was peace is now an emptiness, echoes of a love that I had put my everything into...
|[|]|
I feel like I'm ready to let go now. The despair and suffering from the world that I came from, that took everyone I loved away from me - well, I would be joining them soon enough though. I would finally be able to leave all this pain behind... I could finally die now. So, I look towards the last image and to my surprise, I see a scene that almost seems like it's from a different life. There is no sense of agony, only a deep longing, and a feeling of loss. I stare dully at the image of a woman in tears wrapping her arms tightly around a little boy with messy green hair.
"Gomenai, Izuku! Gomenai, gomenai!"
Mom…my soul seems to cry out in anguish. I want to go back; I need to go back! I beg you, God, send me back to her!
The darkness shatters around me, but I'm too preoccupied to notice. I stare into the image that now has my full attention. Everything else within the scene is a blur, but the image of my mother gently rubbing my face to comfort me remains perfectly clear within the ambiguity.
I reach out, flailing my arms around like a maniac, attempting to grab a hold of the image, but I am unable to reach it. And then it too crumbles into pieces and disappears into the nothingness.
"Come back!" I hoarsely yell out, but no one answers me back. Even so, I refused to let this memory slip from my mind. I held onto it, with all my might as the tears roll down my cheek and my palms bloody, as I had dug my nails into the flesh. "Please, come back, don't leave me..."
|[|]|
I sit in this pit that has become my world, surrounded by nothing. What I need will never come, for that time has long passed. I wasn't born to be a hero, that was much was always clear to me…but is it so wrong to wish for something that I could never have? I tried so hard to change my fate and for what – to be betrayed by those who I had come to trust?
Was there any meaning in my struggle, or was it all for naught? The madness in men, my soul can feel it. The desperation in men, my soul can feel it. The panic in men, my soul can feel it; and the bottomless sack.
My eyes are wet with tears. My walls, the walls that hold me up, make me strong just... fall. Piece by piece, they fall. The tears roll down my cheek, drenching my 'skin'. Perhaps these tears will help wash the pain out…I'm trembling. I c-can't stop. Even as I press my hand against my chest, it trembles. It's raw, everything, raw tears, raw emotions. I can't stop...I can't stop. Why can I not stop crying?
My knees give way, as a painful; heart-wrenching anguish overwhelms my senses. I wrap my arms around my knees, drawing them in as I wept silently. I'm sorry for dying – for leaving your side – for being weak…
[Poor little soul.]
A voice sounds abruptly from above.
[You have lived a life more painful than most. Please, allow me to help you.] The voice continues with a gentle tone, but I find myself doubting its sincerity. [Why do you do this to yourself child? Why do you continue to torment yourself even after death?]
Even then, I did not respond.
The voice sighs, [I know that you do not wish to talk to me – to anybody, but perhaps this piece of information will change your mind: I am the reason you are now dead…It was I who requested to have your String of Fate cut.]
My mind blanked out for a moment, and my eyes widened in shock. I subconsciously turned my head towards the voice.
[What happened with Melissa Shield wasn't your fault, it was just her time.] It said quietly.
I wiped away the tears in my eyes and stared fixedly at the source of the voice. In front of me stood a beautiful woman. Her skin was akin to the softness and the beauty of a white plum blossom flower, and her eyes the shade of a cloudless afternoon sky. Her hair was long and as dark as blood, and her curvy body covered in a snow-white kimono.
[At first, I believed my decision to be correct, but for three years now you've been wallowing in grief. I am so sorry; I did not know that my actions would cause your soul so much pain. It's just that you've been calling out to me for so long, asking for it to all end…I know that what I've done to you cannot be undone, but please, allow me to make it up to you.]
Words left me as I stared into those bright blue eyes, not knowing what to feel. I could tell by the look on her face that she was full of regret; for her actions, for what she had done to me. And that she would carry that guilt with her, for the rest of her life. But what could I say? What could I possibly say to the person who had just confessed to being my killer?
"And Melissa...what about her?" I somehow managed to squeeze out.
[I don't think it–]
"TELL ME!"
The woman looked at me hesitatingly, before biting her lower lip and saying, [That child, Melissa, couldn't bear the thought of being used against you – of being your weakness. So, while she was in captivity, she attempted on numerous occasions to take her own life but was caught every time. In the end, like you, she begged for me to end her life, and so I complied with her wish.]
Silence hung in the air like a gaping void that sucked out all sounds, words, or thoughts. I stared at her, filled with disbelief. I could feel myself unraveling, the threads of every happy memory I could ever recall of her – a disarray of strings scattered at my feet. I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. All this time she thought was a burden to me – even in the moments just before her death. I didn't know...HOW COULD I NOT KNOW?
All of a sudden, I find myself being pulled into an embrace; my head resting on her chest. I haven't been hugged like this, not since I was a child. There was something about it that felt so warm, that felt right, smelt right. She gave me the respect of an equal but still cradled me like a cherished child. In that embrace, it felt less painful like there was still hope for things to get better…I wonder why? I could feel her brush my hair back as she lifted my face and kissed me on the forehead – oh, that gentle smile...
I sobbed into her chest unceasingly, as my hands clutched her kimono. She held me in silence, rocking me slowly as my tears soaked her chest. I tried to break away, afraid of this warmth, but before I knew it, I collapsed once again, my howls of misery worsening. The pain came in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths…
It was between those bursts of pain and warmth that I remembered a saying from my old life:
When in darkness, believe in the light,
When in loneliness, believe in friends,
When in sorrow, believe in joy,
When in pain, believe in empathy,
When in frustration, believe in patience,
When in anger, believe in perspective,
When in indifference, believe in love,
For in evolving wisdom, lives hope for us all.
Ah…how could I forget something so simple?
|[|]|
"Who are you?" I asked softly, as the woman tenderly wiped the tears off my face.
She smiled slightly as she looked at me with a gentle expression. [I am known as Death to your world, but you may call me Fayre dear child. Are you feeling better now?]
"A-ah, yes…I'm feeling better now," I say as I reluctantly separate myself from her.
[You know Izuku, we could've stayed like that a bit longer if you so wished – I certainly don't mind.] Fayre giggled with her hand covering her mouth. [However, now that you've calmed down there is something, I wish to discuss with you.]
"And what would that be?" I asked inquisitively.
[You see Izuku, like everything else the universe has an end; it will eventually die even if it takes trillions upon trillions of years to occur. However, your race isn't as lucky, as no matter what you do; all intelligent life will die in 100 billion years.]
"So, does that mean nothing can be done, and we can only wait in the inevitable?"
She shook her head in disagreement. [That's not the case Izuku.]
"Then, there's way out?" I asked, confused at Fayre's words.
She nodded her head. [Any universe with intelligent life in it, if they are capable enough to create an atom smasher, which can constrict a tremendous amount of energy at a single point, and that, in turn, can create a gateway, to what would be translated in your language as, a 'baby universe'. And that is the origin of the multiverse, where everything and anything is possible.]
"…I understand, but what does that have to do with me?"
[Don't worry Izuku, I'll get to that soon enough, but first I want to understand something. You have lived a tragic life that has only gotten worse over the years, Izuku. From the time you were four, you were isolated and abused by your peers simply because you were born Quirkless – do you not find that absurd?]
I smiled wryly. "Of course, it's absurd, but is there any use in crying over spilled milk?"
You made me realize that.
[But as a result of the abuse, you became emotionally weak. You did not have any strong convictions or beliefs to call your own, other than wanting to be a hero and due to your inferiority complex, you found it difficult to make friends or even talk to people in general.]
Would getting angry change anything?
[And when things seemed to take a turn for the better, you lost the only woman you have ever loved, your secret was exposed, and you were betrayed by the country you had sworn to protect. They kidnapped your mother and used her to get you into their custody, where you were then experimented on for the next 6 years until your–]
"ENOUGH…please, just stop. I've heard enough…"
[Why? Does this not anger you? Do you not want revenge?] Fayre asked, a grim expression on her face.
"I…"
What am I supposed to say? What is the right answer?
[WHAT IS IT THAT WANT IZUKU?]
"I WANT TO BE A HERO…I want to be a Hero…"
The Goddess sighed once more, smiling faintly, with a degree of tenderness in her eyes.
[Negative emotions are a dime a dozen. They're cheap, really cheap. They produce scenarios of distrust, disdain, and disaster. The negative emotions flood us with lie after lie. The only cure that really works is, hold on until the Warmth and the Light returns. Hope is alive, it just needs time to surface…so, until then, please accept this gift of mine, young hero.]
She reached into space and pulled out an ancient looking box from the void.
[In this box, I have placed a crystallized droplet of blood, containing some of my white blood cells or in other words, my DNA and with it my divinity as the Goddess of Death. With it, you will have access to all the worlds that exist in the multiverse with the sole exception of the one you came from.]
"Is there is a reason for that?" I asked, frowning slightly.
[Yes, there is. As the Goddess of Death, I have certain privileges which include a fair bit of flexibility with the rules that govern your Reality. However, there are certain rules which I can't even bypass or take advantage of; and this is one of those situations. To put it simply, if I were to reincarnate you in your former world, that would cause an imbalance in the dark energy present, which would result in your universe essentially tearing in half like a sheet of paper.]
"So, does that mean I can never see my family and friends ever again?"
[Well...there is a way, but I am obliged to advise you against it. I can't send you back to your original universe, but I can send you to a parallel reality where most things are the same, however, think of it as your world on steroids. Even with the powers, you'd inherit from me, if you don't give yourself enough time to develop, you will die. Of course, it's your decision to make in the end - I can just as easily send you to another world where you don't have a near certain chance of dying.]
I paused for a moment and began to seriously consider my options; the various advantages I would have if I choose to reincarnate in another, much easier world, and the numerous disadvantages if I chose to be reborn in the world parallel to my own. In the end, it didn't take long to decide as my heart was already set on it from the start.
[Your time here is almost up Izuku. I'm glad I got to meet you before you were forcefully reincarnated. Just promise me that no matter what you do, live well; that's all I ask of you.]
"I... I will. I have chosen the world I wish to be sent to."
[It's the world parallel to your own isn't it?]
I nodded in affirmation.
[Very well, all you need to do is to swallow the droplet of blood I gave you - once it merges with your body and soul it will give you the power to carve your name into the annals of history. As for the rest, leave that to me.]
Nodding my head once more, I opened the box and placed the droplet of blood on my tongue. Upon contact, it immediately dissolved, and I felt a warm feeling spread throughout my body.
After briefly examining my body, I looked up at Fayre. "Will I ever be able to see you again?" I asked hesitatingly.
She fell into a moment of silence before smiling her biggest smile yet.
[I'm sure we will because you'll come to find me won't you Izuku?]
But before I was able to respond I felt a 'tugging' sensation in my gut as the world around me seemed to break apart. Fayre seems to be drifting further and further away from me with each passing second.
I grit my teeth and yelled out with all the strength I could muster, "I will, I promise!" Before my vision went dark and I lost consciousness…
Alright, so this by far the longest chapter of any of my stories. Before any of you ask like my other stories this will be harem pairing, but with Melissa Shield as the primary love interest. I had recently reread Endless Paths on Qidian and felt inspired; this is the fruit of my inspiration. So I hope you have enjoyed what you've read so far. Thanks for reading and let me know if you liked it.