Chapter one.
Dudley could remember well, even a number of years later, the very first time he experienced hatred. Not the passive hatred he had for Harry at such an early age, but true anger and loathing for another human being. He didn't remember their name, he didn't remember how old he was, but he remembered their tone of voice when ridiculing his shadow-and in turn- his soulmate. They'd laughed at how little his shadow was for how big he was, and how amusing they found it that his soulmate would be stuck with a pile of blubber like him.
He'd never thought of himself as big. Other people were just small.
At home, he wasn't fat. He was just unhealthy, and, well, who cared about health in the first place? At home he wasn't stupid, he just hadn't learned things yet. At home, he wasn't the one that got picked on. At home, he was the one in charge. More or less.
"Leave him alone," his cousin had said in a stunning spout of bravery. "If anyone's soulmate would be disappointed, it will be yours!"
The other kid was bigger than he was, one of the older kids that liked to torture the younger. Dudley, even with his size, couldn't do anything to him. But he was bigger than Harry- Harry who was glaring at the older kid protectively. Angrily, he stepped over and shoved the smaller boy as hard as he could, watching him fall to the ground and look back up at him with glassy green eyes, and felt a sickly pleasing twist in his stomach.
"I don't need your help!" He'd snarled.
After school he ran home as fast as he could, panting once he'd finally reached his room. He slammed the door as hard as he could, as hard as he'd pushed Harry, and took pleasure in the creaking sound it made as though it were close to breaking. He felt like breaking something. He felt like destroying his entire room.
Instead, he laid on his bed and cried himself to sleep.
*
When Dudley woke from his nap it was evening and he could see the shadow of sunset painting half of his room. He sat up, feeling more depressed than when he'd fallen asleep, and his shadow sat up with him. He stared at it for a long time, moving just enough to see his shadow move too.
"It's not true," he said, sitting with his back against the adjacent wall to continue watching it. "I know it's not true. I'll love you, whoever you are, and you'll love me just the same. You'll love me."
He never stopped talking to his shadow after that. Maybe at first he somehow convinced himself that maybe she could hear him, that maybe she was talking to him too. He wondered what she looked like when she wasn't greyscaled. He wondered if she liked the same shows he did. He wondered if he would ever meet her.
He hoped to.
The shadow aged with him, though he was sure that she was younger; she was so small. Her hair grew longer, long enough that she usually wore it up. She wore long dress things that flowed when he walked; becoming the sort of person that he'd despised first and the most. But in his room, with only he and his shadow- his soulmate- he was who he wanted to be. He told her about Harry, about his being conflicted about his parents and who they were as people, he told her about wanting more than anything to meet her. He told her about what they might do when- not if, his therapist told him confidence was very important- they met.
Even later, after he'd reconnected with Harry, he talked to her. He made promises to her about what he would do to be better, to be the sort of person that deserved to meet their soulmate, to be the person that deserved to have her- whoever she was- as a soulmate. In talking to her constantly he found the strength and the motivation he needed to keep those promises.
He never dated, though he had plenty of opportunities once he'd gotten his act together. He just… couldn't. If he was a romantic sort of person, and he liked to think he was even after everything, he would say he was waiting for her. Maybe everyone felt that way about their shadows, their soulmates, but somewhere he hoped not.
But he hoped she did.
A/N: This was originally written for Hermione's Nook Rare Pair Soulmate Fest on Facebook. My prompt was your shadow outlines the shape of your soulmate. I actually love this. Let me know what YOU think
-Cassie