Harry Potter and Automatic Outtake from the Infidels' Photoshoot

Chapter One: Quest for the Sorting Hat

Harry Potter and Ron Weasley had fought from him, Snape must have known he was powerful, but Hermione and Harry were used to battling with Snape. Snape probably expected the two to switch and pick up his mentor, and he underestimated them. Hermione really seemed to enjoy his teaching; he tried to give her some freedom but it didn't go well and he noticed. By the time he was lecturing Harry about bucking adult standards in magical society, the boy was getting angry, leaving their table, running to McGonagall to report his own lesson being ruined by him.

"Isn't this the first time he's done this?" Hermione argued, trying to suggest it was because she won, "Potter's my best friend, but how dare he do this to him! What if he doesn't want to lose to me, what if he needs to put his pride aside for a moment to look out for his best friend, what if he's still with Sirius?"

"Maybe. Let's get his number. He needs to do this, he will never want to lose to me." Ron and Hermione agreed as they each put a scroll under their pillow.

Harry quickly got to work. He called Aberforth.

"You'll be home soon; I have the necklace ready. It should arrive soon. Can you hurry?"

Harry took the necklace away from the houseless girl. "It's a fake. I'm going to throw it back into the lake at night. When the Aurors come back, I want you to distract them with how reminiscent it is of Luna Lovegood. And throw it into the Quidditch World Cup Final. It's going to be hell. Whoever it belongs to, I want them to kiss it."

"Thank you."

"Keep the necklace; you'll need it for an interview."

The blonde woman started to back away and stood as Harry backed away slightly. She looked around in horror as if she had never been anywhere but in a video game before.

"We must hurry. The whole town will run away at the sound of a mad woman running into a certain black hole. I think you know the one," she said with her usual lethal voice and pointed at the barrier. "The one we will travel through after finding the sith warrior."

Harry stopped and stared at the woman. The woman wasn't making any sense. As soon as he replied, there was a huge war cry of a hundred men clad in golden armor looking at Harry.

"Are you threatening us?!" Harry shouted.

It quickly dawned on Harry Potter that he was more than a match for the Dark Lord Voldemort. He wasn't aware that the two of them would ever face off again. He had always assumed that he would die in the eyes of Voldemort and his followers. Only hours before, Voldemort had told the students of Hogwarts that if Harry hadn't arrived at the Defense Against the Dark Arts class before the start of the school year, the Dark Lord would put him down. It was now time for Voldemort to fulfil his threat.

Harry turned to Voldemort and one final time, his voice was filled with resolve. "If you are looking for my blood, this is it. And I will not stop you. I will protect you."

The Snake had to him something... more than something... but how the Snake could find something which more than the original, but no more than that too. A voice was inside Harry's head, but the message was not clear and Mr. Potter had a funny feeling inside his stomach...

Harry silently waited as he was lead into the garden. To his left, the walls of the castle were still the same gray and pale marble. He noticed that there were two women over a lounge chair, seemingly drinking at a high table. The taller one was obviously a darker skinned woman, but seemed to be wearing the skin of a bear.

"Did you want me to tell you about some little girl that couldn't stop crying?" Hermione asked with a sigh.

"You can tell me anything you want about anyone."

"Right!" Harry replied gleefully, and walked over to sit next to Hermione.

"Just what kind of a freak is she?" she asked before looking up to see if Hermione was listening,

"If you can stay away from her, that is. She's in Ravenclaw."

"Thank you." Hermione didn't respond, but returned her attention to him and tried to recover her voice. "What is a Ravenclaw?"

"What?"

"She's our friend, Luna."

Luna flinched. "Oh. Okay." She said nothing else.

Luna finished setting the kettle and about to walk away. "Hermione," she said. "Remember? One time we were listening to a rock band in the Free Forest, and the drummer almost punched his guitarist in the nose. Did you see?"

"Only when I was standing next to him. He's not a guitar player. Not very good at all."

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't his fault."

"But youLuna Lovegood

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't his fault."

"But you

"Did you try to hurt him? "

"No, I didn't. I just…he sort of upset me."

"Come now. Do you remember what happened on your first day at Hogwarts?"

Luna continued to glare at Harry for a moment, before a shiver went down her spine. "My mother…well…

"It wasn't your fault that you were frightened to go to school," Harry repeated. "Harry Potter, I apologise if it was disrespectful of me, but your mother was trapped in a loveless marriage, and that doesn't excuse what happened to her. You would have learned the truth, regardless of what happened. You've survived, with a lot of help, because you were lucky, and at least one of the public who accused me of being involved in your escape helped you, because that was a lot of work to perform. Your success would have been assured if no one had ever dared to speak the wrong word about you."

"It was Voldemort," said Harry, his voice barely above a whisper.

Snape looked up, his eyes glittering in the dark. "I always regretted that you seem unwilling to admit what you really are, but I suppose it is not uncommon for people who live a life of hard manual labour to follow this almost to its logical conclusion." He looked down at his clipboard, then slowly up at Harry again. "I learned that it was necessary to admit that you were not truly human."

Harry nodded, stunned by this. He stared at Snape and thought, If I could just show some of the same respect and kindness that you used on me, I wouldn't be such an awful person?

Snape's response was Snape's response was just as unnerving, going quiet for a moment before he came back and seized Harry's waist, the tension in Harry's chest surging again.

"Now, Harry," Snape said smoothly. "Are you prepared to continue on?"

Harry did not move.

"I believe, if you promise me you will tell me everything you know - everything you don't know," Snape said, in the same calm voice. "And if you want, you may answer the question that is on your mind."

Harry wasn't sure what to make of that. It didn't sound like a threat, and if he understood Snape correctly, it was still just that - a question. He didn't know if that was enough to make his finger curl up, but it seemed as if this gesture was giving him a clue.

"A dark wizard, then? Oh, then I see what you meant by that remark from earlier, Mr Potter."

The headmaster inclined his head, and, in answer to Harry's doubtful words, his eye roved over Harry's body with a strangely accurate precision. Potter's body was remarkably clean. He'd spent the night in a hospital at St Mungo's, and the general sickness of his body was due to the vampire's bite, or just plain old old dehydration. His teeth were rotted and his wrists were bandaged, but they showed no sign of any cuts or injuries. Apparently Voldemort didn't feel much pain, given that he kept his fingers and toes intact.

"Thank goodness you've been okay, Potter," the headmaster said in a hoarse voice.

The boy sniffed air out of his nose as he sat next to his headmaster. His pained expression explained most of his state of mind, and Severus could see that Dumbledore was trying to comfort him.