Drowning Shadows
Draco knew that drinking wouldn't solve his problems. It never did but it drowned out some of the pain and for now that would have to be enough. But the now had been for 7 months and it still hadn't gotten any better than the night Hermione had walked out of his life. Well she hadn't completely walked out of it but left as his lover. He didn't think it would happen she had said so many times how she only wanted to be with him. Beautiful lies and beautiful words that he always wanted to hear. Swigging down the last of his 4thWhiskey and Coke of the night, yet another cruel reminder of her. She had been the one to convince him to try the muggle drink at Harry and Ginny's engagement party. After becoming a partner with Harry when they had entered Auror training together they slowly had become friends and Draco was now the proud godfather of their oldest son. Ron had a fit over that when it first happened but got over it.
Draco had been welcomed, hesitantly, into the Weasley's home and eventually their family. Harry had convinced him to go to there's for dinner near the end of their yearlong training when Harry had found out that he was on his own and rarely had a home cooked meal. That was the night that he had started to see Hermione for who she was. The first time he had truly heard her laugh when Ron and Harry insisted on sitting so close to her that she couldn't move her arm's so she had to have them feed her, apparently that was an inside joke running back to their 3rdyear in Hogwarts. The first time he saw the way she insisted to help clean up and her slightly manipulative convincing to Molly.
Everything she did that night he couldn't look away. She looked so full of life and worlds away from how she had looked at the final battle when he last saw her. She wasn't strikingly beautiful by societies standards, she was decidedly pretty, but the beauty that radiated from inside her was impossible to compare to anyone. What sealed the deal for him was when they had all retired to the living room and he watched her tell a muggle story to Fleur and Bills oldest daughter, Victoire, who was 3 at the time, of a princess and her rags to riches story. In that moment he had fallen in love, but he never would tell her that.
He was so far from heaven, so far from grace that he knew she could never love him how he loved her. Somehow, she still found the him within him. It had been nearly a year before anything had happened other than friendship. It was the same night she had convinced him to try the muggle drink. They had both been buzzed enough to lower their inhibitions and they had ended up back at his new home, having sold the manor after years of convincing his mother who hadn't been back since her move to France after his father's trial. They had sloppy sex that night and the next morning.
They didn't stop for nearly two years. She had sworn she would break things off with Ron but every time she had tried, he had convinced her to stay. They had been together since the day of the battle and Hermione would always fall for Ron's persuasion typically out of guilt. He finally broke things off after she had told him Ron had proposed and she had accepted. He had been so cruel to her that she had cried. He had never made her cry other than that night and they hadn't spoken outside of family dinners since. Everyone had noticed the strange shift in their relationship and they never mentioned it because that one secret could destroy everything, they both had with the Weasleys and Potters.
'Am I wrong to give into the pressure?' she asked herself. Of course, she knew the answer was a resounding yes. Hermione knew she should be thrilled to be getting married tomorrow, but she couldn't get over Draco. The moment he came back into her life she had been hooked. When Harry had shown up with Draco to the burrow that night, she had been surprised but Harry had told her and Ron all about how much he'd changed and how they had become friends, so she let it be. Fred had been the only one to hold resentment talking about how Draco's buddy Theo had nearly killed him with the wall. Draco had lashed out slightly but more in defense telling him they had never been friends or buddies and how Theo had been one of the ones who forced him into getting marked, the one to hold his arm down to be exact. Fred had backed off after that and eventually they became friends. That night was the first time she saw him smile, while Ron and Harry squished her so close like they had the welcoming feast their 3rd year she had noticed the ever so slightly toothy smile. The next time she saw him truly smile was when she was retelling VictoireCinderella she had glanced towards him and saw him staring at her with a distant look and a closed lip smile so subtle you would think it was his resting face. They had been the fastest to become close friends and would often sit next to each other at Weasley meals. Draco on one side and Ron on the other.
The night of the engagement party had been a blur when they went to his home clothes discarded, sloppy kisses, and sloppy sex. Merlin would she go back to that night in an instant and change the series of events. Now it was too late.
Their affair had been magical, each kiss electric. She never got that with Ron, and they had never even had sex! It had been nearly five years since they began dating and they had never once had sex. It might seem shallow to be so concerned with the sex but damnit it was important to her! She had tried breaking things off with Ron over the span of her two-year affair and it never worked. Ron would always convince her how important it was and how they were already expected to get married but the casual love she had with him was so much more but she wouldn't admit that to him and he wouldn't with her. Well that was until the night she had told him of the engagement.
7 months ago
She stood outside his home pacing running through what she would tell him through her head. There was so many ways she could do it, but she knew it would come out wrong no matter what. She knew she would be breaking both their hearts. They had always talked about the future and going out as a couple rather than just having dinner at one of their homes, when they wouldn't have to steal secret kisses in the backyard of the burrow when they had both stayed out the longest to talk about astronomy. Sighing she checked her watch to see she had been there for fifteen minutes and finally knocked on the door.
"COMING," she heard Draco from somewhere farther in the house, probably the library where his floo was hooked up. She almost always came through the floo but it wasn't too abnormal for her to knock even though he had always insisted she just come in. Even giving her the magical password to unlock the door. It always felt wrong for her to do it, so she never did. Hearing the knob start to turn she schooled her features to try and shield her emotions. "Hermione, how many times do I have to tell you to just come in," he said with a laugh as he pulled her inside and hugged her. She told herself she needed to hug back but it was a few seconds short of how fast she should have hugged back. Draco pulled back and but his hands on the sides of her arms. All the mirth gone from his voice he asked her what was wrong and that's when she finally made eye contact. His grey eyes were filled with concern and wonder, an odd-looking combination she noted, with red rimmed eyes and started, "Ron asked me to marry him…" "And?" he asked sharply. "And I said yes." she chocked out as she could feel the tears starting in her eyes again.
Draco removed his hands and folded his arms across his chest "Then why are you here exactly? To rub it in? To make me beg for you to leave him? What do you want?" She could hear the anger in his voice and the rise in volume filled her ears. "Draco please stop I wanted to be the first one to tell you and we both know you wouldn't beg for anything, it's not what you do." She said calmly. "What. Do. You. Want?" he growled out getting angrier. "I want you ive always wanted you!" she yelled at him. "Yeah made that bloody obvious by getting engaged to someone you've been insisting for TWO BLOODY YEARS you would end it with." Glaring at her she felt the anger in her peek.
"YOU THINK I WANT THIS?" she screamed at him. "I NEVER WANTED THIS!" she continued as tears streamed down her face. Mirthlessly he said "Oh really? Could've fooled me when you were acting like a loving couple anytime he was around." "You know it was always you I wanted. From the moment I saw you at the burrow," She fired back.
Sighing he moved into the sitting room adjacent to the entry way and sat on the couch as if to dismiss her. She moved with him and stayed standing placing her hands on her hips preparing to scold him, "Don't ju- ", he cut her off, "You know because he's a pureblood it will truly be till death do you part? Oh, or that if either of you have an affair you will be charged and sent to Azkaban? Ancient law that most people don't know about." Staring at him shocked at his calm demeanor and feeling her arms fall beside her, "W-what?" he stared at her, "Yeah old pureblood law that has stayed in place for thousands of years, he can go and fuck anyone he wants but you, you can't do shit about it," fire was still in his eyes and she knew he was preparing to say more. "You could've married anyone who wasn't a pureblood and you would've been fine. Hell, you could've married a pureblood who would have told you about the law and they could've filled some paperwork prior to engagement that would've rendered the law invalid but now…now you're stuck. Unless you break it off there's nothing you can do now." Her eyes filled again but she forced herself not to cry again. "I'm sure he didn't know, and didn't tell me is all…" she tried to reason. "Bullshit. He knew and you wanna know how I know? He told me when he got married, he wouldn't tell the girl about the law because he didn't think it was true and that if it was, he was sure to marry someone who wouldn't cheat on him. So, I never told you or him otherwise because I figured if he proposed you would've turned him down. I was wrong. I loved you but were done so get the fuck out of my house. Now. I will treat you like a human but don't ever expect anything from me again." He said as he stood and started pushing her towards the door. She was too shocked to say anything and let him push her out of the door. "I loved you too." She barely whispered as the door was slammed behind her and she heard the sound of shattering glass as she left.
Hermione felt the tears rise in her eyes as she thought back to that night and repeated her mantra in her mind 'I need someone good for me. Dr- Ron… Ron is someone who is good for me.'
But is that a good enough reason to marry someone?