One day John Phoenix and his uncle Phoenix and his cousin Trucy were eating at Lucky's
John Phoenix was eating most of the food because he needed it more than them
"Hey cousin John could I have some more food" said Trucy "My stomach hurts"
"I don't think so" said John "You're getting kind of fat, porky"
Then Kyle Hyde, the owner of Cape West, came into the cafe holding something
"Oh hello Kyle" said Phoenix "What's that?"
"It's a telegram from my uncle John Hyde, the famous industrialist" said Kyle Hyde "Apparently there's some kind of mystery going down on his private island, Mystery Island, and he knows I used to be a detective in Manhattan so he wants me help him crack the case"
John Phoenix's curiosity was piqued "Mystery, hm? My curiosity is piqued."
"Yeah so's mine, but I can't just up and leave Cape West unattended"
"Don't worry" said Phoenix Wright "Trucy and I will take care of things while you and John are gone."
John was Kyle's best friend, so it was taken for granted that he would tag along
A few hours later John and Kyle got on the boat to Mystery Island
Kyle leaned over the railing and watched the city disappear over the the horizon. He couldn't help but wonder, was John Nile behind the secret mystery of Mystery Island?
According to Frank's research, John Nile and John Hyde had gone to butler school together before John Hyde had become a famous industrialist, so maybe there was another connection between his uncle and John Nile?
Anyway the boat arrived at Mystery Island
Kyle and John and the other guests rode in a limo to John Hyde's mansion
"Greetings" said John Hyde "Welcome to my mansion. I brought you all here so you can help me solve the secret mystery of Mystery Island... which I believe is related to the deaths of my brother Chris and his wife Jeanie"
Kyle was taken aback. Chris and Jeanie? Wait a minute, those were his parents! And they were murdered by John Nile! Kyle took a swift glance at John Phoenix to see if he had also picked up on this, but one look at John Phoenix's determined expression told him all he needed to know.
"Mama mia Mr. Hyde" said Mario "but what is this secret mystery?"
"I'll tell you later Mario," said John Hyde evasively. "I have to take one more look at my papers first..." He left
Then a butler came and led them all to the banquet hall and they had dinner
Kyle made a mental list of all the guests at the table
Let's see...
Mario
Luigi
Yoshi
Klavier Gavin
The guy from Dig Dug
Donald Trump
Martin Summers
TheDodger123
Jordan Phoenix
Olimar (from Pikmin)
...and of, course, himself and John Phoenix.
"Huh what a weird group of people" thought Kyle "I wonder what my uncle wants with all of us"
After dinner the butler came and showed them to their rooms
"My master sends his apologies. It seems going over his papers will take him longer than expected. He will see you all tomorrow."
John and Kyle lay down in their beds
"Goodnight John" said Kyle
"Goodnight Kyle" said John
In the morning...
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" a voice screamed from somewhere
Kyle Hyde's eyes shot open
"What the hell was that?"
He threw off the covers and hopped out of bed. John Phoenix was already dressed.
"John what's going on" Kyle asked
"I don't know, I was woken up by the scream just now"
"But you're already dressed"
"I slept with my suit on, now come on, let's go!"
Kyle threw on some clothes and the two men ran out the room and down the hall
"Any idea who screamed?" asked Kyle
"It sounded like a woman, so it must have been either the maid I saw last night or Jordan Phoenix" replied John
Then they turned a corner and saw the butler and the rest of the guests outside of John Hyde's room. The door was open and a body was stretched out across the threshold
"Crap" said Kyle "Is she...?"
The butler replied "No, no, the maid just fainted. When she saw the corpse..." he gulped
John Phoenix muscled his way past the others and stepped into the room. Kyle followed him
"Damn it! No!" cried Kyle
John Hyde was lying in the middle of the room covered in bruises. He was dead.
John Phoenix's eyes narrowed as he scanned the crime scene. A painting lay on the floor, and above it was an open wall safe. It was empty.
Fifteen minutes later, Ema Skye paraglided onto the island
She had recently gotten her autopsy license so she performed the autopsy herself
"Alright, I'm new at this so it might take a while, so why don't you two go interrogate the witnesses"
She gave Kyle and John their own special investigator badges. She trusted them because she was very close friends with John Phoenix, and Kyle used to be a detective so he was also trustworthy
"Whoever bumped the old man off must have wanted what was in that safe" said Kyle as he and John walked out of the crime scene
"Undoubtedly" replied John "Whatever was in that safe must be a clue to the secret mystery of Mystery Island"
First they talked to the butler
"The maid went to the master's room to bring him his morning coffee" said the butler "But the door was locked. So she went and got me and since Mr. Hyde wouldn't answer, I forced the lock."
"OK, go on, what happened after you opened the door"
"The maid saw the body and fainted"
"Did you see the safe?" asked John Phoenix
"Yes it was empty"
Next they talked to the maid, who basically just confirmed what the butler said
They interviewed the guests but they all gave the same story... they all claimed to have been in their rooms until they heard the maid scream
Then Ema called them back to the crime scene
"OK so I examined the corpse, those bruises were self-inflicted"
"The hell?" said Hyde
"Whats even stranger is that I couldn't determine the cause of death. He wasn't shot or stabbed or poisoned by any known poison"
"Thats weird, those are the three main ways of getting murdered" said Kyle "Maybe he wasnt murdered after all?"
But Ema showed them a message scratched into the headboard of the victim's bed
"Help my name is John Hyde, I am being killed in a locked room murder mystery, the culprit is..."
"So the old man was killed before he could finger the killer, huh?" asked Kyle
"Yep, and he definitely wrote that message cuz the scratches match his fingernails" said Ema
"So he WAS murdered, and YOU'RE just incompetent" growled John Phoenix
"Heeeeey... I'm new at cutting people up. Watch it or I'll cut YOU up."
John would have performed his own autopsy, but Ema had messed the corpse up pretty bad and now it resembled an abstract painting more than a human being, so he and Kyle decided to investigate the room instead
John checked the victim's pockets and found the key to the room
"Are there any other keys to this room?" asked John
"Nope" replied Ema
Kyle found a mousehole. He got down on his stomach and peered into it
"Looks like this hole connects to the adjacent room"
John Phoenix looked out the window. He looked down at the beach and saw some markings in the sand, like someone had dragged something into the ocean.
"Hmm interesting a picture begins to paint itself in my mind"
John Phoenix and Kyle Hyde left the room. They investigated the room on the other side of the mouse hole.
"This is just an unused guest room" said Kyle. But they did find some easels and painting supplies under the bed
Next they decided to search the rooms of all the other guests. Finally, in the last room, John Phoenix found what he was looking for
"AHA... so THAT'S how they did it..."
John Phoenix called everyone to the scene of the crime
"I called you all here because one of you killed John Hyde" he said "Now, I could easily imagine any one of you committing the murder. You all have motives."
"Oh come on, I resent that" said Donald Trump "John Hyde was a great guy. Good memories all around. You think I'd kill him just because he's richer than me, better at golf than me, owns his own private island, and made a donation to my opponent instead of me?"
"No I don't think you killed him, I said you had motives" said John Phoenix "You're not smart enough to have committed this crime"
"Thank you, John" nodded Trump
"The true killer is..."
Pause
"THE GUY FROM DIG DUG!"
Everyone gasped
"YOU LYING BASTARD" screamed Dig Dug (which was his name)
John Phoenix presented a special pump. "I found this in Dig Dug's room. As you know, Dig Dug uses this pump in the game to inflate his enemies with air until they blow up."
"But my uncle wasn't inflated" objected Kyle "How the hell could that thing kill him?"
"Because this thing pumps more than just regular air" said John. He pointed to a knob. "See, the pump can also be set to "nitrogen gas". How this crime happened is simplicity in itself. Dig Dug went to the guest room and stuck the nozzle through the mousehole. Then he pumped nitrogen gas into the room until the concentration was high enough to kill John Hyde! Asphyxiation by nitrogen gas wouldn't leave any obvious signs of foul play, also the human body is stupid so John Hyde wouldn't even know the air he was breathing was killing him."
Ema nodded and gave a thumbs up "Yup the science behind your theory is completely accurate 100%"
"But my uncle DID know he was being killed" said Kyle
"Sure, because he noticed the nozzle sticking out of the mousehole. Now let me explain exactly what I think happened...
"First, he tried to open the door, but he couldn't open it because it was A DIFFERENT DOOR. ONE WHICH WOULDN'T ACCEPT HIS KEY. He threw himself against the door (this explains the bruising) but the door was a STRONG DOOR so he couldn't break it. No one heard him hitting the door because this was a SOUNDPROOF door.
"So, obviously he would try the windows, right? But it it my belief that at point in time the windows had been replaced by PAINTINGS of windows. That would explain the painting supplies we found stashed in the guest room.
"So, at this point having guessed the identity of his killer, he tried to leave a message. Now this the most important clue of all. He died while writing this message on his headboard, but the corpse was found in the middle of the room. Ergo, someone MUST have entered the room and tampered with the crime scene after he died.
"So, after the murder, Dig Dug unlocked this new door. Then he replaced the fake windows with the real windows and threw the new door onto the beach, where trained dogs were waiting to drag it into the ocean. These dogs were also trained to drown themselves afterwards. Then he installed the old door, which he had probably hidden in the closet. Then he rifled through the safe, stole the papers, and left!"
Kyle held up his hands. "Wait, how did he lock the room if the key was found in the victim's pocket? Remember, the maid said the door was locked"
"Hmph" John tapped his forehead and smirked "Ask yourself, WHEN did the key end up in the dead man's pocket? Easy, after the discovery of the corpse! Because, you see, the BUTLER was Dig Dug's accomplice! After the maid fainted, and before anyone else arrived, he slipped the key, which Dig Dug had given him, into the pocket."
The butler remained stone-faced
"If this is a joke, sir..." he began
"It's no joke" said John Phoenix "Otherwise everyone would be laughing, because my jokes are hilarious. YOU are the true mastermind behind this plot! Someone needed to install the door and paint the fake windows before Dig Dug arrived, after all. And I can't help but notice that you have dried paint on your fingers."
Everyone gasped at this final proof.
The butler smirked and began to clap sarcastically. "Oh, very good, my dear boy. You are correct. Kyle, you disappoint me. I thought you'd be the one to see through my disguise." The butler pulled off his mask and he was actually...
JOHN NILE!
"Nile!" cried Kyle "I should have known you were behind this!"
John Nile laughed. "Yes Kyle I killed your uncle. You see, he had a list of people he thought might be John Nile in disguise... that's why he invited all of you." He nodded at the guests. "I broke into his office one day and saw that my butler persona was also on the list, and I knew the game was up, so I added Dig Dug to the list so he would be invited too and could help me kill John Hyde. Because Dig Dug was actually my best friend all along."
"You rat! You dirty rat!" said Kyle. He made a move towards Nile but Nile put on a jetpack and flew out the window
"See you again some day, Kyle! Ahahahaha!" And he was gone.
Later, on the ship back to LA...
"Thanks for all the help John" said Kyle "Too bad John Nile got away again. Just one thing... why did John Nile even bother killing my uncle? Why not just skip town?"
"Simple... John Hyde considered the butler his best friend and was leaving him everything in his will. But once the butler found out John Hyde suspected him of being John Nile, he killed him before he could write a new will, and Dig Dug ransacked the safe in case a new will had already been written."
Then Ema paraglided onto the ship.
"Mr. Hyde! We found the new will Dig Dug stole from the safe. Your uncle left everything to you!"
THE END