Hello! i hope everyone's doing okay and staying safe, i had been hoping to get more up with all this time off work but writers block sucks especially in a time like this. This is sort of a 'missing scene' fic from the finale, set just after The Doctor leaves the fam and co on the TARDIS so she can face the master alone. I had the idea from the scene in Titanic where Rose has just got into a lifeboat and before it can be lowered she jumps back out to be with Jack and also a bit of a nod to Doomsday too. Anyway, enough of my ramblings. I hope y'all enjoy, i have one or two more post ep's to write and then i'll be trying some news things so let me know if theres anything you'd like to see. Thanks!
Final Goodbye
The Doctor felt the prickle of tears as she listened to the sound of the TARDIS door closing behind her, she couldn't let her emotions get the better of her now, not as she was literally walking to her demise. She had allowed The Master to see her unravelled far too many times, usually at his hand and she refused to allow him the satisfaction of seeing her broken in her final moments.
Saying goodbye to her fam was the hardest thing she had ever had to do, but it was something she would do again and again if it meant they were safe. The pain in her hearts was lessened by only a fraction with the knowledge that they would be going home, back to their real lives with their families. She had taken them for granted, taken their time for granted. It was a flaw that had bestowed most if not all of her previous incarnations. They always left things unsaid, always left things until the very last moment and by which time it was usually too late. Well, at least this would be the final time she would make such a mistake. There was no coming back from this one.
The sound of the TARDIS door reopening vaguely registered in her mind but she was too focused on her mission to pay attention, it wasn't until the fast and frantic footfalls resonated throughout the tunnel that she finally stopped and turned slightly to look behind her.
She was filled with so much fear that she felt physically sick, her hearts were beating at a pace that made her believe they could beat out of her chest at any moment as she set her gaze on the owner of the footsteps.
Yaz.
"No.."
It was the only response she could muster in her current state, the tears that had been threatening to fall before now were silently streaming down the timelord's cheeks, her head shaking in disbelief as she tried to process what was happening.
She had done everything she could to ensure the safety of her friends, the safety of Yaz, who meant more to her than she had been able to express to the young woman before their last departure. And yet here she was, standing a few feet away with tears staining her beautiful cheeks, looking back at The Doctor with an expression she couldn't read.
It was out of fear for her upcoming task paired with the sudden appearance of Yaz that caused The Doctor's emotions to spin out of control, her fear turned to anger and it was after a few moments of tense silence that she found her voice again.
"You stupid girl, what have you done?"
Her voice was raised but broken, she turned away for a second as if she hoped Yaz was simply an apparition but when she looked back she was met with the same pair of tear filled eyes,
"Doctor.." Yaz started but trailed off as she tried to find the right words, she couldn't let her leave things as she had, not without a fight, not before she knew.
"You were safe, I made sure you were safe!" She tried to keep her voice even but as panic set in she found herself almost shouting at the person who meant the most to her.
Yaz tried to form the words to explain why she had gone after her but in that moment they failed her, she shook her head and managed to muster little more than a strangled sob.
Any anger The Doctor had melted away, she stepped forward wordlessly and Yaz did the same until the two collided. They held each other tight, Yaz's face hidden against The Doctor's shoulder as she cried whilst the latter whispered in her ear.
"I just wanted you to be safe, you shouldn't be here."
Yaz shook her head, pulling back slightly so she could look The Doctor in the eye.
"I couldn't go, not without you."
"How could you be so stupid? I'm not worth your life Yaz." Another wave of tears threatened to fall, she couldn't fathom why Yaz would have done such a thing.
Yaz took a moment before responding, this wasn't how she'd pictured doing it, moments before the demise of them both, but The Doctor needed to know, and if this was going to be the first and final time she would get to say it then..
"I love you."
The Doctor's eyes grew wide at the revelation, this news should have elated her, and deep down there was a part of her that grew warm at hearing the words but it was greatly overshadowed by the guilt she felt at knowing Yaz had chosen to sacrifice herself because of her feelings for her. Before she had a chance to fathom a reply however, something happened that filled her with a breath of hope.
"Yaz!?"
Ryan's voice ricocheted off the walls of the tunnel and The Doctor glanced over Yaz's shoulder in the direction of the sound, thank Rassilon.
"You have to go." She told Yaz firmly, her hands moving to rest upon the young woman's shoulders.
"No." Came Yaz's automatic response and The Doctor sighed.
"Yaz.."
If it really was to be the last time.
She brought a hand to her cheek, swiping at the steady flow of tears with her thumb.
"I'm so glad I met you, I don't know where i'd be if we hadn't crossed paths on the train that night, I'm so lucky to have been given the chance to be loved by you, to love you." A sad smile crossed her lips as she spoke.
"I love you Yasmin Khan, now go, go live a brilliant life." She couldn't resist leaning in to give her one last kiss.
She had intended for it to be brief but Yaz slipped a hand into her hair and she momentarily forgot where she was and what she was supposed to be doing.
"Yaz!"
The voice caused them to part and reality came crashing back down upon The Doctor. She looked past Yaz and saw Ryan standing a short distance away with a look that appeared to be a mix between panic and shock on his face. Focussing back on Yaz she tried her best to hold back any further tears and took a step back.
"Go." She told her, unable to stop a rogue tear as it slipped down her cheek.
Ryan stepped forward, reaching out he grabbed one of Yaz's hands. The young woman shook her head as tears got the better of her once more, ignoring the gentle tug of Ryan trying to guide her away.
"Yaz, c'mon we gotta go." He tried and failed to keep the fear out of his voice, they were all at risk the longer they stayed. The Doctor was making the ultimate sacrifice, for them and he refused to allow Yaz to meet the same fate.
"Go! Now!" The Doctor's voice rose as she furthered the distance between herself and her fam.
It was another few moments before Yaz finally cooperated and allowed Ryan to lead her away, away from The Doctor and back to the TARDIS. The Doctor watched in silence, meeting Yaz's eyes for what she assumed to be the last time before she rounded the corner with Ryan.
She waited until they were out of sight before turning, taking a deep breath she used her sleeves to dry her eyes the best she could. Slipping a hand into her pocket, she wrapped her fingers around the explosive device. She was going to stop them, stop him, once and for all. For the sake of the universe, her fam, and Yaz.