Kathryn walked slowly around the dimly lit airponics bay, dead on her feet but unable to sleep. Her body was exhausted but her brain was alive with activity. She had tried to sleep, but the floor was cold and hard, and even with the emergency blankets and pillows, her back would not forgive her for spending even an hour sleeping on it.
It had been five days since Voyager's systems had been damaged by the anomaly that had formed out of nowhere and disappeared just as quickly. Propulsion systems were at least five days from being repaired, environmental and life support systems at least three more days, and replicators probably more than six. Emergency rations were holding out though, and Neelix was doing wonders with the fruits and vegetables in the airponics bay; the only part of the ship not damaged by the anomaly.
Kathryn said a prayer of thanks to a God she didn't believe in, once again, for the airponics bay. When Kes had established it nearly five years ago, they had rewired the bio-neural gel packs around the bay, installing separate units for temperature and humidity control, as well as its own life support and environmental systems, since many of the plants required a slightly elevated concentration of oxygen and nitrogen than the rest of the ship. Kathryn thanked her lucky stars for those changes, listening now to the gentle hum of the humidifier units, because it was the only part of the ship currently habitable, and the only part of the ship large enough to accommodate the entire crew until life support was re-established throughout the rest of the ship.
It was just after 0200 hours, the lights at only twenty-five percent, and everyone not on duty making repairs was asleep. For that, Kathryn was glad. The crew had been secluded in this room for almost a week, and tensions were running high. Everyone did their duty, taking shift rotations in environmental suits to work to fix the ship's systems. B'Elanna had been in engineering with her team, Tom and Chakotay had led teams to work on propulsion and Tuvok and Harry had worked with the crew to re-establish environmental and life support systems.
It was slow, arduous work, as each individual gel pack had to be diagnosed and repaired. Many were behind hard to access panels or only accessible through Jeffrie's tubes. Not to mention all of the electrical and mechanical systems that had been fried; some needing to be rebuilt from scratch.
And Kathryn oversaw it all.
Over the last few days, Chakotay had gently and then not so gently reminded her that she needed rest, and she tried, but she had a hard time letting her guard down in front of the crew. After nearly thirty hours on her feet, she'd put on an environmental suit and gone to her quarters to try to find relief, but all she'd gleaned was a thirty minute nap and a migraine.
Chakotay had rearranged several of the planters in airponics to create a small alcove in the corner of the room, outfitting the space with a pillow and blanket for Kathryn, and over the next three days, she'd gotten a meager amount of sleep. She could feel Chakotay's eyes on her when she moved about the bay, checking on everyone, just as she could feel his thoughts on her when she tried to rest.
Chakotay…
He'd been her rock during this ordeal.
Hell, he'd been her rock for the last five-plus years.
Chakotay…
As she moved quietly amongst the throngs of sleeping crew members, her eyes instinctively sought and found the man that had occupied her mind more and more as of late.
Chakotay lay, sleeping peacefully, about fifteen meters away on her left. He'd taken off his uniform jacket and had it bunched under his head as a second pillow. He lay on his right side, his right arm propped under his head and his left lying on his hip. No doubt he slept on his side so as to give the people on either side of him more room. Kathryn knew, after New Earth and countless away missions, that Chakotay preferred to sleep on his back. She smiled at the thought of him, always putting others before himself. He had done it for Kathryn since the day they'd met, his actions more and more selfless as time went on. He'd consecrated his devotion in a story of an angry warrior who'd finally found peace, and even after the woman warrior had rebuffed him, again and again, he'd stayed by her side.
Kathryn's uniform felt heavy and itchy and suddenly too hot for her body as she watched Chakotay sleep. She felt her skin tingle with something she hadn't felt in years...maybe ever. She watched him as he slept peacefully, breathing slowly in and out as he rested. He'd spent the majority of last night, and all day helping various teams as they made repairs, and yet he seemed to always be around, making sure Kathryn ate at least a few meager meals throughout the day. She appreciated him more than she could say, and depended on him more than she was willing to admit to herself.
Enough was enough.
She approached him quietly, thankful that he'd chosen a spot to sleep in relative darkness. There was a small gap between Chakotay and whomever slept in front of him; in the low light, she couldn't tell who.
They had originally divided up the airponics bay with men on one side and women on the other, but as crew shifts came and went and exhaustion won out, people seemed to drop wherever there was space, not bothering with where or who they slept next to.
Kathryn crouched at Chakotay's feet and leaned forward, using her hands to bear her weight as she slid her body between his and the person sleeping beside him. Leaning gently towards Chakotay to be sure she didn't disrupt his neighbor, her elbow slid against his chest and his eyelids fluttered. Kathryn lay down next to him as he came awake, concern painting his face instantly as he realized who had woken him. Instead of speaking, lest she alert anyone else, she wiggled slightly closer to him, mirroring his posture as she rested her head on her left arm, her eyes meeting and holding his.
Time froze as they looked at one another. Kathryn could see expectation, hope, and trepidation in his brown eyes, his brow still slightly furrowed in concern. Kathryn tipped her head ever so slightly, letting her eyes sweep up and down his face, allowing him to see that she had no ulterior motive or misgivings in her actions. His pulse had quickened with adrenaline when he'd woken up, and Kathryn lay still, watching as the heartbeat in his neck began to slow, only to thrum quickly again when her hand slid over to his, twining their fingers in a familiar gesture that spoke volumes.
Chakotay's eyes were locked on Kathryn's face, watching her lips turn up in a gentle smile. Her expression was one of curiosity and calm; she came to him with open eyes and an open heart. His pulse quickened at the feel of her fingers sliding between his. Trepidation morphed into determination in the depth of her blue eyes and Chakotay felt his heart beat faster.
Keenly aware of the bodies beside and around them, he desperately tried to take quiet, even breaths as Kathryn's fingers moved away from his, only to travel up the back of his hand, sliding up under the cuff of his shirt to caress the skin of his arm. Electricity pulsed through his body, heat radiating from each press of her fingers against the skin of his wrist. He knew his eyes held a question; words he longed to speak but could not in the silence of the room.
Yet still, she answered him, knowing in this moment exactly what he needed, though she could not speak her truth, she showed it to him nonetheless. She leaned forward, pressing her lips gently to his, her eyes closing at the sweet connection forged between them. She felt rather than heard the hum low in his throat as his hand came up to slide against her cheek before cupping the back of her head, pulling her closer.
Kathryn's hand drifted down his chest, pressing gently against his heart in an unspoken but meaningful gesture before moving lower, finding the hem of his shirt and lifting it, allowing the back of her fingers to brush the skin of his abdomen, her nails applying the faintest pressure as his muscles fluttered beneath her touch.
She nuzzled her cheek against his jaw, feeling the rasp of his five o'clock shadow elicit goosebumps on her flesh. Pressing a kiss into the skin just below his pulse, her fingers and mouth worked in concert, lifting his shirt higher until her lips came in contact with the skin of his chest. She let her tongue slide across his hot flesh, marking him and tasting him as his warmth and scent enveloped her. Her tongue moved in slow circles around his nipple, her teeth and then her lips closing around it gently. She could feel Chakotay's eyes on her, watching intently as she moved, moisture and heat pooling between her thighs in equal measure.
Careful not to move backward, she reached down with both hands slowly, taking hold of his waistband. Making quick work of the clasp, she held the zipper tab between thumb and finger and ever so slowly pulled it down. The rasp of the teeth seemed like a scream in the large room, but no one stirred.
Kathryn looked up then to see Chakotay's face. His eyes were nearly black with want, and his expression desperate. She could tell he still wished ardently to speak...to question, but the dilation and darkening of her own sapphire eyes told him all he needed to know in that moment.
Pressing herself against him, her forehead tucked into his neck, she let her fingers slide under the waistband of his underwear, her hand nearly on fire with the heat radiating off his semi-erect penis. Her palm brushed over his pubic hair as her fingers wrapped gently around his cock.
She stroked him slowly but firmly, long slow pulls bringing him to full erection. Her hips began to undulate of their own accord, desperate for more pressure. Chakotay's hand came up her arm, shivering as he felt her bicep flex, exquisite pleasure being bestowed upon him by those muscles working in tandem. She squeezed her thighs together as she pressed open mouthed kisses against the skin of his neck, enjoying bringing him pleasure even as she craved her own.
Her free hand moved awkwardly; pressed at an odd angle under her body, she worked her fingers against the fastening of her own pants. Chakotay, panting silently through an open mouth, pressed his eyes shut in an effort to reign himself in. Realizing what Kathryn was doing, he reached down to work the closure of her pants open.
Reluctantly, she pulled her hand from his pants to shimmy her own down past her hips. Difficult in the small space, she swiveled her hips in slow, tight circles as Chakotay helped her slide her pants and panties down. Reaching quickly for his blanket he pulled it up and over them both. Their body heat trapped under the heavy blanket was stifling, but Chakotay would not have Kathryn's modesty or privacy compromised in that moment.
His right hand slid farther behind her, cradling her body to him as he moved them both slowly, quietly, so that she was almost on her back beneath him. Her hand came up, her thumb brushing across the skin of his forehead and over the ink of his tattoo. He turned into her touch, his tongue coming out through parted lips to trace the skin of her palm, his teeth biting down gently into the flesh of her thumb.
His eyes found her again, heavy lidded and lust filled; surely matching his own as he leaned down to press another kiss to her lips as his left hand dragged down the zipper of her uniform jacket. He swallowed her soft moan as his fingers found their way under her uniform shirt, slipping beneath the wire of her bra to palm her breast. He felt his erection twitch as her pebbled nipple brushed against his hand.
He wanted nothing more than to say her name, to whisper words of love and desire to her. But instead, he retracted his hand to brush her hair gently from her eyes and cradle the back of her head as he shifted his hips, his erection making contact with the slick heat of her center. She watched his eyes dilate with desire as he felt how ready she was for him. Her lips curled up in the faintest smile before she reached between them, pushing her pants down past her knees so she could fully open herself for him.
The sound of footsteps to her left caused her breath to hitch in her throat. Chakotay leaned down to block her from view, pulling the blanket up farther as she dipped her head down to his chest.
Knowing the spell was broken he sighed, even as he heard the footsteps stop as the owner found their own place, several meters away, to settle in for the night. Closing his eyes, he took one last deep breath, trying with all his might to memorize the scent and feel of her in his arms to sustain him for the lonely nights to come.
He was brought hurtling back to reality when he felt her hand close around his shaft once again, using her own moisture to make her strokes easier. Chakotay bucked into her hand, swallowing a moan as he pressed his forehead into her neck, slick with sweat and hot from her own arousal.
He felt Kathryn arch her back, her hips turned up in invitation; she would not be deterred. His eyes met hers once again and the longing he saw there quelled any last concerns he might have. Guided by her hand, the tip of his penis found her entrance and in one quick thrust, he was buried in her.
Kathryn's eyes went wide at the feel of his length inside her. She'd been empty for so long, in more ways than one, that the feel of herself surrounding him brought her a completion she'd never known was possible.
And then he started to move.
She felt every muscle flex as his body shifted in the small space. Ever aware of the sleeping bodies mere centimeters away, Kathryn bit down on her bottom lip, tasting blood as she forced herself to remain quiet.
Having little room to work with, each downstroke of his hips pressed his pelvic bone down on her, hard. Her clit thrummed with pleasure as the pressure there was nearly constant. Though Chakotay's thrusts were short and slow in the cocoon of the heavy blankets, Kathryn's pleasure grew with every stroke. Reaching beneath the blanket her hands found the skin of his ass, palming the flesh and using her strength to pull him deeper, harder against her. She felt his thighs, strong and thick between hers, flex with each press against her hips. His chest ground against hers, the pressure against her breasts caused her breath to come out in shallow puffs against his neck.
The softest grunts sounded in Chakotay's throat as he worked to dampen them, straining his neck as his muscles flexed and relaxed. Kathryn watched in fascination as the tendons in his neck pulled taut with each thrust of his hips, his hand desperate to find purchase somewhere, settling for pressing into the metal of the bulkhead before him.
Chakotay was nearly lost in the sensation of Kathryn, under him and surrounding him. Her arousal, mixed with her sweat and the remnants of her lavender shampoo was a heady aroma, and Chakotay buried his nose in her hair, desperate to take more of her in.
He could feel her twitch as each downstroke ground into her clit. He pressed his hips flush against hers,using slow shallow strokes to keep the pressure on her pelvis. It didn't matter to him how his pleasure would come to him, because he knew it would. He wanted to make this good for her.
She deserved nothing less for the gift she was giving him tonight.
Suddenly she hitched in a breath, her eyes wide as she pulled her head back. Small whimpers sounded in her throat as she gasped in shallow breaths, and Chakotay could tell she was close. She tried to muffle the sounds in his shoulder, but to no avail.
Desperate to keep her quiet, Chakotay's hand came up to cover her mouth, forcing her to take shallow breaths in and out through her nose. He was afraid she wouldn't be able to draw enough air, but just as his grip loosened, her own hand came up to his, pressing it hard against her lips to silence her.
He'd never expected their first time together to be like this, but as he pressed hard into her, the look of utter abandon on her face told him this was exactly how it was meant to be.
She was desperate to find her own release, her hips bucking up against him as best she could while being pinned under him. Forgoing his own needs for the moment he thrust into her hard, grinding against her center with his pelvis, his full weight pressing against her hips.
The added stimulation plus his weight against her clit pushed her over the edge.
Kathryn wanted more than anything to keep her eyes open; to watch Chakotay watch her come apart, but to no avail. Her eyes pressed shut and her brow furrowed as the first waves of pleasure crashed over her.
Unable to cry out, she bit down on the meat of his palm, feeling him shudder as he bucked into her once, two more times before stilling. She could feel him hot and thick inside her as he came, his penis pulsing as his own orgasm washed over him.
Chakotay felt her inner muscles flutter as her orgasm started deep in her center, radiating through her body as her muscles tensed and her eyes shut. He'd never forget the look of pure rapture on her face, but when her jaw flexed and he felt the sharp bite of her teeth in his palm, he was lost.
It took everything in him not to moan out her name as he was so desperate to do, settling instead for thrusting into her several more times as his own orgasm tore through him, exploding out in silent waves of pure pleasure.
He felt her body start to relax, her thighs dropped and her grip on his hips loosened. Her eyes were still shut but her brow was now smooth and Chakotay leaned down to press a kiss between her eyebrows as he slowly pulled his hand away from her mouth.
He pressed his forehead to hers as his erection began to soften, still buried inside her heat. He panted into her mouth as he tried to still his racing heart, tasting her own breaths as she silently did the same.
Kathryn took his hand as she opened her eyes, suddenly full of nervous energy at the knowledge of what they had just done, and pulled his hand back to her face, turning into his palm as the softest of nervous giggles bubbled out of her. She pressed a kiss to his palm before turning her head to see his face. His lips pulled up into a smile and his dimples pressed into his cheeks, elated for the fact that disappointment and regret were both absent from her face.
He let his thumb drift over her cheekbone as his eye met hers once again. The emotion in her blue depths was one he'd never dared dream to see there, at least not in conjunction with the fact that he was currently still inside her.
He'd never been able to keep his own emotions out of his eyes, and he let his love and adoration for her shine through, and knew she could see it when a single tear formed and tracked down her cheek. He leaned down and kissed it away, laying several gentle kisses across her face before gently pulling out of her.
Kathryn flinched at the loss of him but marveled at the fact that he was real; warm and loving and currently joining her in the afterglow of their secret lovemaking. She leaned up to capture his lips in a kiss; the gesture made difficult because she was still smiling.
She reached down and found the waistband of his boxers, pulling them up and over him before repeating the movement with his pants. She fastened them and smoothed down his uniform shirt as well. Chakotay moved off of her and found the thin strap of her panties, sliding them gently up her thighs. Kathryn raised her hips slightly so he could redress her, allowing her to fasten her pants while he adjusted the blankets around them.
He was elated when Kathryn, instead of slipping away, turned over in his arms so he could spoon her from behind, his arm resting over her hip so he could lace their fingers together again. As she relaxed into his embrace, she realized what he'd known all along; no one would be surprised to see the Captain and Commander sharing a sleeping space, nor would they care.
With a smile still pulling his dimples into his cheeks, he leaned in to press a kiss into her hair, taking another deep breath as exhaustion began to take him, "Sleep well, Kathryn." He whispered.
Just before he fell asleep he heard her answer, "Yes, you too."