So, I haven't written anything really ever so here goes, not sure how many chapters this will have, kind of just dipping my toes into the pool as it were. I edited it as best I could but didn't want to take to long and lose my nerve to post.

No ever really knows how much someone can change at the drop of a hat. Never fully understands what limit must be reached before someone breaks, and for Naruto Uzumaki it had been when his rival.

His best friend.

His brother.

Rammed a Chidori through his chest to kill him, the one person who he had thought would always have his back betrayed him, betrayed their home, their friends. Had thrown everything away for the chance of power that had been dangled in front of him, a bread crumb trail of bad decisions that ended with his right arm drenched in the blood of his brother in arms.

Of course when one tries to kill a Jinchuriki, a hole in the chest is just going to slow them down in the short term, in that period of time is when you truly strike the killing blow, but Sasuke never carried through with that strike. He had fled the scene of the battle, a battle that was as old as humanity itself, the battle waged by brothers. A battle that rarely ended, or saw a victor emerge, no matter what they may tell themselves when you bathe in the blood of your family a piece of yourself breaks away forever. The rain that had begun at the start of their battle didn't cease when the final blow had been struck, hiding the tears on both their faces.

Naruto had watched with dull, lifeless eyes, as Sasuke turned and ran. Watched as he disappeared into the raging storm that blanketed the world in a flat slated grey of heavy rainfall. He had willed his body to stand, to move, to do something anything to stop Sasuke from making the biggest mistake of his life, but he couldn't. His limbs were heavy as if weighed down by lead, a phantom weight compressed his chest as he gasped for small breathes of air, the adrenaline of the fight wearing away. He still had enough chakra in his system to stay conscious, but his eyes swam in and out of focus, pain seeping into his very core and firing across his nervous system like lightning. The hole in his chest ached worse than anything he had ever felt, the physical toll mixing with the emotional turmoil swimming in his heart. Broken and cracked rips constricted his chest, left arm completely unresponsive, he had the barest of feeling in the fingertips of his right hand.

He knew the nine tails could heal him he knew that it could keep him alive until someone hopefully found him, but it didn't ease his suffering as heavy fat drops of rain splashed his cheeks and joined the weak tears that spilled from the corners of his eyes, once bright blue orbs now dull, greying, lifeless, the spark of hope and optimism extinguished.

This was the day Naruto Uzumaki reached his limit and changed for better or worse.

Konoha North Gate 1 Year Later

"So, I said to her 'Guarding the gate is a really important job.'" Izumo glanced sidelong at his long-time partner and couldn't help the tiny flash of annoyance that appeared on his face, a common emotion when he was regaled with failed attempts of picking up women.

"And she laughed me off, can you believe it! Laughed right in my face," Kotetsu flung his arms out in exasperation like an upset child, drawing a facepalm from Izumo at the glances they both received by some passer-by's on their way out of the village. "I'm telling you man people don't respect gate guards, we're the first line of defence into this village and people brush us off. Just because we're not at war and they think nothing's going to happen." He took a deep breath and sighed out loud, tucking one foot behind the other as he leant against the side of the guard booth nestled into its little alcove on the right of Konoha's north gate. Peering into the booth at his partner who sat in the one and only chair at the guard station, reading a small green book and completely ignoring Kotetsu. "You're not even listening, are you?"

"Trying not to, your dating life follows the same cycle it always does," he adjusted himself in the small chair learning back into it and idly flipping the page in his book. "You go to a bar the end," he said dismissively, flipping over another page. "I keep telling you a bar isn't a place to meet someone." He turned to face his partner who as expected was sporting a pout and a look of hurt in his eyes. "You need to stop acting like we're teenager's, find a nice girl, settle down, have someone to go home to."

Kotetsu huffed at the words, it was the same thing he got told every time he spoke of his unsuccessful attempts at picking up a one night stand if only he still had his wingman from their genin days and not a old man trapped in the body of a twenty five year old. He didn't have a response for his partners words though, and they lapsed into a silence with Izumo keeping his eyes on his book flipping a page every so often, while Kotetsu maintained a lazy gaze outside the gate for anything remotely suspicious, which today was a whole lot of nothing not a single soul had entered through the north gate since their shift had started and only a hand full of people had left. None of them interesting in the slightest.

Until of course he spotted a head of blonde hair crest horizon, and the groan that built up in the back of his throat came out as a pain sigh instead as turned and walked into the guard booth and picked up a small plain unassuming envelope from inside guard stations message rack. He fidgeted nervously in place as he tapped the envelope against his chunin vest, opening his mouth to speak.

"Not a chance," Izumo said sliding further into his chair as he spoke and flicked another page. "You lost fair and square, so you have to give him the letter." Kotetsu hung his head in defeat as he stepped out of the booth and walked to the centre of the gate bouncing on the balls of his feet as waited the approach of a kid that he never thought would send a chill down his spine by just seeing him. The envelope started up again tapping out a quick beat on his vest as the blonde mop of hair grew steadily taller on hits approach. The standard chunin attire of navy blue under clothes and flak vest became more visible as it did, growing closer by the second, until Naruto's whiskered face was closer enough to be clearly identified, his blue eyes had changed from the full lifeless orbs Sasuke had left him with at the Valley of the End. Holding a hard edge, and barely contained anger. Remaining partially hidden by the unruly mass of blonde hair he now had. His headband which had once kept it secure and out of his eyes was now tired tight around his left bicep.

Naruto had grown since his fight with Sasuke, having finally hit a growth spurt he had shot up like a weed from his short stature and now stood close five foot seven, his body filling out as well from the scrawny shrimp he had been to a leaned muscled young man that was finally starting to lose the baby fat in his cheeks. All in all, Naruto's fight with Sasuke seemed to finally have jumped started the blonde into puberty and his development into a young man.

Or as far as Kotetsu was concerned, a goddamn psychopath. He took in the tattered remnants of the left trouser leg singed and burnt where it cut off and splotches of dried blood that flecked across Naruto's flak vest. His blonde hair was more ruffled then its usually unkept state and what looked like a kunai stab wound was visible on his left shoulder the navy-blue long-sleeved shirt a darker hue in the surrounding area. A brief memory of Naruto leaving a few days ago flickered across Kotetsu's eyes. A simple solo C rank mission was what the kid's papers had said, to clear out a group of bandits giving a nearby village problems. What the hell had happened?

They locked eyes as the steps between them grew ever fewer by the second until finally Naruto came to a brisk halt in front of Kotetsu, who noticed for the first time that the kid was taller than him now.

"Those bandits give you some trouble then?" Kotetsu made a point to really look at Naruto's obvious dishevelment that got the blonde to look down at himself and hmm as if he hadn't noticed his state of dress.

"Villagers lied, a group of low ranking missing nin were leading the group. Caught me off guard" Naruto's voice was flat as he spoke, and it made the hairs on the back of Kotetsu neck stand on end, even Izumo shifted uncomfortably away in his chair as the conversation carried over to him.

"Missing nin huh?" Kotetsu shifted restlessly from one foot to the other unsettled by Naruto's hard unblinking gaze. "Did you uh, did you come back for a team to back you up then?" Naruto's head seemed to tilt his head in ever so slight confusion at the question and actually blinking as if caught off guard by it.

"No, I made sure to kill them all." He absently scratched his cheeked as he spoke so casually about the deed, no emotion in the words, none of the regret that a year ago would have hung heavy in his voice at having to take the life of another.

Kotetsu swallowed uneasily at the words, it wasn't right to be so casual about killing, even killing those who deserved it, that was something he had always thought was a common value among Konoha shinobi. Until Naruto had appeared like a goddamn bogeyman out of the hospital close to a year ago today and started going on missions alone, seeming to always come back having killed someone or something that got in the way of the mission.

"Right, uh, I uh, good job I guess." Kotetsu masked his uneasy with a quick cough, shoving the envelope he held out for Naruto to grab. "We received this from the Hokage shortly after your departure three days ago." The letter was plucked from his fingers with ease and Kotetsu's hand shot back to his side as if recoiling from a blow. Naruto opened and read the contents of the message quickly and his eyes were narrowed by the end, the message becoming a crumpled heap stepping past Kotetsu on a beeline for the Hokage tower.

Kotetsu watched him go, the warning bells that shinobi developed early on as a fifth sense quietening down the further the blonde got from him. Shuffling back over to the guard booth, he slumped against it and let out a deep calming breath.

"That kid has a goddamn screw loose, I actually miss when he was a dumb happy go lucky genin at least then he was just mildly annoying, now he's just." Kotetsu trailed off leaving his thoughts aside as he sagged body weighed down by the reality of life in the shinobi world.

"Well at least he's still part of the village, I'm sure the Hokage knows what she's doing. At the very least he hasn't attacked anyone in Konoha." Izumo closed his book and sat up straighter shaking his head. 'It's sad to see what this life does to people, especially when they're young" The gate duo lulled into silence at his words, they were simple, but they carried a heavy uncomfortable, unspoken truth with them. Everyone had their limit, and when a shinobi reached there's, well. Not everyone is born a killer, some people are made into them and the ones that are, lose more of their humanity then the former.

Tsunade gave a slow expecting look up from her paperwork when the door to her office came crashing open screeching on its hinges and bouncing off the inner wall. A very annoyed, and very angry Naruto Uzumaki stood in its frame glaring daggers at her, his hand clenched tightly around the letter she had requested be given to him upon his return to the village. Shizune's worried visage popped up behind the boy and gave an apologetic look that was casually waved away by Tsunade as she fixed Naruto with a stern glare. She took in his dishevelled appearance and obvious evidence of injury he had succumb and breathed deeply.

"Close the door and have a seat Naruto," she watched his hand tightly grip the edge of the door frame, "If you so much as think of slamming that door I'll put you into a full body cast myself." His hand clenched tighter in bottled up rage or frustration for being called out on his childish behaviour it was hard to tell, but with a higher level of restraint then Tsunade thought he was capable, he gently close the door to her office before stomping over to her desk. Completely ignoring the offered seat, throwing the piece of crumpled up paper onto her desk.

"You can't seriously be taking me off active duty!" Tsunade was impressed that he had the guts to yell at her and with anger as well, she'd flung people across a room for less in the past. Doing so now wouldn't get her anywhere though, Naruto had been a bomb waiting to go off ever since Sasuke had defected from the village and antagonising him could light the fuse. Tsunade had chosen against her better judgement to give Naruto the space he had asked for, in hindsight it had been a mistake to leave him in the state he was in, she should have the least had Inochi help him through whatever mental distress he was going through.

The past was the past however and hindsight was a bitch, Tsunade knew she had to focus on the here and now if she was going to fix the mess she had helped make, or at the very least temper the pain and anger that was eating away at Naruto.

She never let her gaze drop from his, her eyes a pool of calm while his blazed for a barely contained fury. When she continued to not respond to his outburst the tension coursing through his muscles slowly relented, the rest of his body following suit as his anger lessened.

He visibly deflated letting out a long slow sighing breath as he stepped back from the desk and quietly sat down, his right leg beginning to involuntarily bounce.

Tsunade sat straighter in her chain and watched as Naruto seemed to deflate further and slump forward a little, she watched him have to physical stop his leg from bouncing by leaning into with his hand. The sight made her heart twinge.

"I'm worried about you Naruto, what you're doing to yourself it isn't healthy" She held her ground as his eyes narrowed on her.

"You're worried about me huh?" He leant forward towards her desk. "Well I don't need or what your goddamn worry, Lord Hokage." Her title dripped with venom as it left his mouth, her eyes hardened with it.

"Don't take that attitude with me Naruto" Naruto scoffed, sitting back with arms folded over his chest, leg immediately bouncing again with the weight of his arm off it.

"What are you going to do, punch me through a wall?" He shook his head, "What if instead you give me another mission, so I can get out of this village for a few days or even better a few weeks."

"You can't keep running away from your friends Naruto, I've let you continue like this for so long because I didn't want to accept what you've become." She let out a breath and sighed. "Now I'm afraid I've left it to long." He frowned at her words, jaw clenched, body tense.

"I'm not running away from anyone, and I didn't become anything." His eyes gained a hard edge. "I just grew up." A sad expression grew on Tsunade's face, she deeply missed the little blonde boy that had dragged her back to this village, stubborn to the core, and not afraid to face any challenge any head on. Most importantly she missed his bright blue eyes filled with a passion for life and a bright smile to go with it.

"When was the last time you spoke to any of them? When was the last time you were in this village for more then a day?" She leaned forward, worry in her eyes, her expression sad and set. "It wasn't your fault they got hurt Naruto."

Naruto's face morphed instantly into pure rage as he shot up from his chair and got into Tsunade's face. "You don't get to talk about it, you weren't his friend, you didn't know him, If I had been a better brother to him, I would have seen the signs." Pushing off from the desk he paced back and forth face contorting between anger and hurt. "The only reason we were out there, the only reason they were put in danger was because I let my best friend deal with his pain alone and it pushed him to that goddamn fucking snake!" He whirled on Tsunade and although he wanted to be angry his eyes though still dull ached with his torment. "I lost him, they got hurt, and Kiba almost died all because of my mistakes."

"Naruto you can't- "

"Can't what? Accept responsibility for my fuck up! I couldn't even bring him back!" Tsunade's face softened, standing from her chair and walking around her desk to stand directly in front of Naruto who now fidgeted in place wringing his hands, leg bouncing insistently.

"Naruto let me help you, let your friends help you" She smiled even if it was only a small one, gently taking his hands in hers. He looked down at the contact, seemingly standing her fingers as his tightened their hold on hers, it gave her hope that maybe she was wrong, maybe there was still time to help him through his pain. Hindsight will always be a bitch though, and Tsunade felt her grief come flooding in, the smile disappearing from her face. He slowly loosened his grip on her hands as they slid out of her grasp and came to rest at his sides. His face was free of emotion as he took a step away from her then two, then three.

"I don't need help Lord Hokage." Monotone as it was, his voice and her title stung her as she watched him disconnect. "What I need is another mission, so I can serve this village to the best of my ability, even if I am to be confined to it's walls." Hopelessness crept over her soul, in that moment she could now see why her sensei had always regretted how Orochimaru had turned out and maintained that the boy was misguided, would Naruto follow a similar path? Had her sensei felt this as he watched his student fall to the wayward side, because of his inaction.

"Report here tomorrow at nine hundred hours, I have a special assignment for you" She fought to keep her voice level and even, watching him nod in acceptance and leave without incident, she wished in that moment that she had agreed to Jiraiya's request to train the boy.

So many mistakes that sat heavy in the past now.

She was in her chair without realizing when Shizune quietly open the door and peaked her head in, concern written clearly on her face. Her master's face collapsed into her hands over her desk.

"I think I've lost him Shizune." Shizune jumped at the words not thinking her presence was known, stepping fully into the room and approaching her master.

"He's not lost, he just thinks he is" She said it softly, sounding wiser than her age.

Tsunade peered at her, a sad smile on her lips, "I don't know if we can convince him," she slumped backwards exhaustion over taking at the weight of reality rushing down on top of her.

"Maybe we can't, but someone will. It's just hard to say when" Shizune's had a warm smile with her words clasping her mentors' shoulder comfortingly.

"I hope you're right; I really do."