Takes place during Season 3, sometime before Be Very Afraid
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Varian was used to birthdays; they happened every year, after all.
But after two years, this would be the first time in a long time that he would be celebrating outside the confinements of the prison walls.
He shouldn't have been nervous; all of his birthdays were. But it seemed different like the memory had been skewed, torn apart and left for him to piece back together like a puzzle. It was if he couldn't even remember what it was like. The fact scared him.
Ruddiger had curled his body like a fluffy grey ball during the night, and Varian couldn't help but smile at his little friend. He couldn't deny that the raccoon's comfort helped him through stormy visions and cracking smiles of the boy Varian used to be. It reminded him of who he was in the present, and the mistake he swore never to repeat again.
But, tonight—or morning—Varian couldn't succumb to the desire of slumber and gave up trying with a heavy sigh. Perhaps lying in bed for the rest of the night, staring at the ceiling, would have to do. Working in the lab might have helped, but the last thing he wanted was his father to find him through the ruckus of broken lab bottles and smoke.
Ruddiger shifted beside him, finally realising his friends' insomnia and chittering worriedly and quietly. Varian only managed a tired smile as he tilted his head to face him.
"I'm fine, buddy," He whispered, "Don't worry."
It was then that Varian averted his eyes and glanced at the small gap through his bedroom door. A gentle glow of yellow and orange seeped through and flickered dimly. Maybe his father had left the fireplace lit? It was a good enough reason as any, so the young alchemist didn't waste any time forcing himself up and rubbing his eyes. Ruddiger moved and also stretched, already making up his mind to follow his companion. Varian didn't object.
Varian reached his arm out to Ruddiger, allowing him to nestle around his neck like he always did. His soft fur was a welcome reminder that he wasn't alone, not anymore.
The door quickly swung open, having been left as such at Varian's request. He couldn't stand the sight of a locked door, remembering the claustrophobic walls of the Corona cells. The first time he heard the sound of the lock against the wood, he found himself running for fresh air and staying for hours on end.
"It's fine," He told himself repeatedly, "I'm fine, I'm not there anymore."
Ever since then, the door remained opened, wide at first, until he was confident enough to have only a slimmer of light peak through. Small steps, he would remind himself.
The living room lit with a warm haze reflected from the fire with a table situated nearby along with cutlery and a carpet of wool. Varian's first instinct to reach for the bucket of water halted and he found himself staring at a figure seated at the table and resting by the fire. For a moment, Varian panicked and stood his guard at the possible intruder. But, when his eyes eventually adjusted to the exposed light, he sighed with relief. He stroked Ruddiger when he felt his paws tighten around him.
"Alex?"
A woman, looking around twenty-years-old, sat before him with black eyes, pale skin and short fluffy hair with a scar trailing down the right side of her face that contrasted against the flame. Her usual get-up of white and deep faded red was draped over her; something that reminded him of Adira's attire. She rested her back beside the wooden frame of the chair with her eyes as tired and weary has his own. Although, Varian argued that the company of darkened bags under her lashes made the notion more severe.
They weren't related, despite them looking alike. Still, Varian considered her family and both him and his father allowed the young woman to stay in their home, much to Alex's objections. With them having gone through a lot together, it was wrong not to.
When Varian called her name, there was a second where she didn't register his voice as if she was lost in her own thoughts. Considering how low her eyelids hung, he suspected something sombre and couldn't help but relate. But, after some time, her eyes turned to his own having widened and snapped awake; aware. The surprise soon faded, replaced with a smile, albeit covered by a familiar sense of nerves.
"Hey, Varian."
The young alchemist took a step closer, now seeing his friend more clearly. "What are you doing in here?"
"Not sleeping."
He couldn't help the quiet bubble of laughter. "Yeah? Me neither."
"I'm sorry if I woke you up."
"No no," He objected quickly, pulling a chair from the table to sit across from her. "It's fine. It's not you."
She replied with a smile, still hindered like something was preventing her from being genuine. Varian thought about asking but knowing Alex she had a habit of hiding her feeling from everyone. Even him.
Even so, he wasn't going to force her. She'd tell him when she was ready.
"Well," Alex started, "Since your up…"
Varian eyed Alex's movements as she reached down to her weathered backpack and pulled something from it, placing it on the wooden table in front of him.
It was a box, wrapped with a red bow.
"Happy Birthday."
He wasn't sure what to say.
"I didn't know what to get you, so you can throw it out if you don't like it."
He didn't like it when she spoke that way. "Shut up, it's from you. I'll love it regardless."
The small flutter he felt as he saw a slight blush on her face was worth it.
Ruddiger chittered excitedly, making the young alchemist stifle his laughter as he hushed his friend. "Not so loud, buddy. We don't wanna wake Dad."
Alex rested her arm on the table, an amused look in her eyes. "You gonna open your present?"
With a smile and one last chin scratch for Ruddiger, Varian turned back to the box. "Alright, hold on."
The alchemist twisted his fingers through the ribbon of silk, making sure he didn't accidentally tangle himself like most times. He couldn't help but notice how Alex watched his hands at work, almost mesmerised by them. She always did take an interest in alchemy, much to his delight. But she wouldn't say much when asked about it. It seemed to bring up memories. Whether unwanted or not, he wasn't sure.
Finally, the ribbon came loose and fell gently around the box. Varian grabbed both sides and pulled up the lid, revealing the mystery item inside.
Or rather, items.
Inside, a freshly made cupcake with pink icing was wrapped neatly in which Varian made an effort to take out first. It smelt delicious.
But the one that caught his eye immediately was the glow of the natural brown leather and the tinted blue of glass.
His alchemic goggles, repaired.
Varian was awestruck. "Alex…"
"I know you mentioned that your goggles were all scratched up," Alex spoke quietly, her smile admittedly contagious. "So, I asked Xavier for some help."
"Alex, I don't know what—"
"Hold on, you doofus, you're not finished yet."
Confused, Varian took another look in the box. "But I don't—"
That's when he saw it.
Another pair of googles rested in the corner of the box, but these were much smaller, too small for any human to wear; let alone for Varian.
Unless…
Ruddiger jumped down from Varian's shoulder with a curious twinkle in his eyes and took a look himself, diving headfirst into the box to pull out the goggles.
There was no way…
It became clear when Ruddiger inspected the goggles in his paws, sniffing the leather and metal with a brow raised, before gripping the strap and pulling it over his eyes.
They fit perfectly.
"You got a pair for Ruddiger?"
Now, Alex was blushing, fiddling with her hands. "Yeah. I thought it would be cool for both of you to have matching pairs, but if you don't like it then—"
Hands gripped her own, causing her head to shoot up to meet the flowing blue of Varian's eyes.
He was practically gleaming.
"This is the coolest thing anyone has ever got me."
Alex froze.
"I uh—you're welcome…"
Varian quickly turned back to his furry friend, putting on his own pair with the biggest smile Alex had ever seen.
"Ruddiger, you look awesome!" Even with his excitement, Varian did his best to keep his voice low. But he couldn't help it.
Ruddiger chittered with a prideful stance, paws resting on his hips with an equally contagious smirk.
"We'll have to get you matching gloves too! Oh, everyone will love this!"
Then he stopped, and Varian's smile died down.
Alex noticed the pause in Varian's voice, feeling that all too familiar tightness in her stomach. "Varian? What's wrong?"
Ruddiger noticed it too, chittering with concern at his friend.
Varian hung his head, his eyes meeting the cupcake.
"Why are you giving this to me now?"
Alex frowned. "I thought it would be—don't you like it?"
"No!" Varian said quickly, "No, I love this. This is the best present I've ever got. But…"
Alex pulled her arms back, close and safe. "But what?"
That was when Varian lifted his head to meet her worried glance, he took note of the heavy bags.
"You're not going to be at the party, are you?"
No one said anything for a while.
"You know about that?" Alex whispered.
"I heard Rapunzel talking to Eugene. I pieced it together."
Eyelids lowered, fixated on the cracks in the wooden table.
"Oh."
There was silence again, the expectance of an answer. But Varian should have known by now with Alex.
Answers didn't come cheap.
"Why?"
"Why what? This isn't about me."
Varian frowned. "Alex—"
"Just forget it."
And just like that, she returned to her shell. Her eyes stayed on the fire, distant.
Cold.
Varian leaned in.
"What are you worried about?"
Alex spoke so quietly, Varian almost missed it.
"I'm not worried about anything."
"If you're worried about what people will say—"
"I'm not worried."
"Alex."
She looked at him then, and Varian was almost silenced by her stare.
"I want you to be there." He spoke again, quieter this time. "I'd—I'd like you to be there."
Varian swore he saw her eyes turn to glass.
"Why?" It was a mere whisper.
He recoiled.
"What—"
"Why do you want me there?"
He shook his head, baffled. "Because you're my friend."
She didn't replay, averting her eyes back to the scorching flame. Ruddiger chittered quietly as he approached her and appearing in her line of sight, enough for her to distract herself with his presence and look at him.
He still wore the goggles.
It was almost absentminded as she reached towards the racoon, fingers tenderly feeling against his fur. Unlike Varian, who was admittedly a little rough with the small critter, Alex stroked him with hesitance.
As if, for one second, she could hurt him.
"I'm scared."
Alex nearly jumped at the voice, her gaze meeting the young alchemist.
He wasn't looking at her anymore.
"I'm scared they won't forgive me."
She said nothing.
"I've been in prison for two years," Varian started, "and, to be honest, I've been dreading this. I didn't know how Corona would react. Rapunzel said it would be fine but…"
He looked at her, eyes glazed.
"I'm scared that it'll be fake. That it won't be genuine. That the only reason anyone would come was that the princess of Corona told them too."
He couldn't stop it now, the tears that invaded his cheeks were cold against his skin, and he was too embarrassed to keep his eyes still. They hung on his hands instead.
"I don't deserve it. I did terrible things," Varian sighed shakily. "They have every reason to hate me."
There was nothing for a while, the crackling of the fire being the only comfort. Without seeing Alex's face, Varian could only think of the worst.
"We both did."
Startled, he lifted his head.
Alex didn't cry, it took a lot to make her cry. But the expression she held, eyebrows lowered and mouth tight, Varian almost thought she would.
That face said it all.
Varian knew then what she wanted to say.
'I'm scared they won't forgive me.'
No, it was more than that.
He reached to her, arms resting with an open palm and watched, with patience, as Alex moved her hand once trained to his loyal furry companion to him.
She was so tender, so scared, that Varian did all he could to keep it together. And when her hand touched his own, he held on tight and said the words she couldn't.
"I'm scared I don't deserve forgiveness."
That was it. When Varian saw her tired and weary eyes widen and her mouth quiver, he knew he was right.
Because he felt it too.
With a deep breath, finally taking his first step to the light, he gave a sincere smile with no trace of sadness, anger or worry. Because now, he didn't need to be. Not when he had Alex.
Not when she was the same.
"Then," He started, "Let's find out together."
That night, when the smell of cold embers filled the darkness, the two siblings shared a bed with a racoon with newly made goggles and a cupcake resting on the bedside desk, having been sliced in two.