A Long Walk to Washington

by frostyfreezyfreeze54

During the senior trip to Washington, D.C., Ashley's insecurities over how she feels Sanna treats her lead to a huge confrontation. Meanwhile, RK, Wade, and Will try to manage having Manny as their roommate.

1. A Long Walk to Washington Script

Thank You, Heavenly

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 8

EPISODE 17

Airdate: April 5, 2020

"A Long Walk to Washington"

Special Guest Stars: Dorien Wilson as Mr. Frax

#TYH818

SCENE 1

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Study Hall

Seattle, Washington

The fifth grade class has come together for another senior committee meeting.

ASHLEY: Before everybody goes, one last order of business. Well, it's finally here. Our senior trip to Washington, D.C. is next week and...

SANNA: And it's important that everyone who's going makes sure they're prepared. It's going to be all of spring break, so pack everything you need, arrive at the airport on time, and have...your...plane tickets ready.

ASHLEY: Principal MacGregor's going to make sure to check if everybody has their tickets at the airport, so...

SANNA: So, if you don't have your ticket, you're getting left behind. Because something might happen to you and it reflects badly on everybody.

MANNY: Too bad I'm not going.

WILL: What? But you are. You already paid for the trip.

MANNY: I did? When did I do that?

WILL: In December. We both paid for it at the same time, remember?

MANNY: Oh yeah. These guys don't talk about the trip enough. It's making me lose my memory.

ASHLEY: Well, guys, we'll see you at the airport in a few days.

The fifth graders begin leaving as Ashley pulls Sanna aside.

ASHLEY: Sanna, we need to talk.

SANNA: Sure, what's up?

ASHLEY: You kept interrupting me when we were going over the trip.

SANNA: I did? I didn't notice that.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you were cutting me off like you wanted the last word.

SANNA: I'm sorry, Ash, I was just really excited about this.

ASHLEY: That's cool, but remember, we're co-leaders of the senior committee. I don't want anybody thinking we're not on the same page.

SANNA: Trust me, I understand. You still coming over tonight to plan the itinerary?

ASHLEY: Of course.

SANNA: Alright, see you later.

ASHLEY: Ciao.

Sanna leaves and Ashley sighs. Gilcania walks up to her.

GILCANIA: How are you doing, boo-boo?

ASHLEY: I've been better.

GILCANIA: What's wrong?

ASHLEY: It's just that I feel like Sanna wants the spotlight, you know? We planned this trip together and I think she's starting to forget that.

GILCANIA: I know it's hard to deal with, but she probably doesn't even know what she's doing. Just relax, and don't crack under pressure.

ASHLEY: I won't. Thanks, Gilcy.

GILCANIA: No problem, honey. But you know, in exchange for the advice, you could put me higher up in the running to get the single hotel room.

ASHLEY: Nice try. We haven't made our decision yet, but it's crazy what everybody's doing just to get the room. What's next, somebody's going to make a commercial?

SCENE 2

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

RK is staring directly at a video camera set up on a tripod as he sits on the couch. He clears his throat.

RK: What if someone was eating bad airline food? What if you knew about it? Every day, people board planes and are given food that sends them straight to the bathroom. If this has ever happened to you, there's always help.

Sparky walks up to RK.

SPARKY: RK, what are you doing?

RK: Planning another take since you stepped right in the shot.

SPARKY: Sorry, I just needed my camera. I wanted to take it with me to D.C. and I haven't seen it since the Brooklyn trip.

RK: What makes you think I have it?

SPARKY: Probably the fact that when we were in Brooklyn and you saw me with my camera, you turned to me and said, "Hey Sparko, could...could I borrow your camera?"

RK: I didn't stutter! But don't worry, I'll make sure you have it before we hit the airport.

SPARKY: Great. Now, could you explain what all this is?

RK: Well, as you know, Ashley and Sanna are doing the room assignments for D.C., and they promised that one of us would get a hotel room all to ourselves.

SPARKY: Go on.

RK: Everybody's doing whatever they can to get the room. I thought that if I showed Ashley and Sanna how socially conscious I am, I would get the room for sure.

SPARKY: And you decided to film a PSA about airline food? You're using a corny comedian cliche to get the room?

RK: Hey, it's a hot-button topic. Oh, sure, people want to talk about climate change and world hunger all the time. But never do you see anybody bring up the real, hard-hitting issues affecting our society.

SPARKY: Yeah, because when I think about serious issues, I always wonder about overcooked pasta on the plane.

RK: At least I'm trying something. What are you doing to get the room?

SPARKY: Nothing. Buster and I decided to enter the contest as a pair, so we'll just wait and see who Ashley and Sanna pick.

RK: Come on, man, you need to politic your way to the top. That's what this D.C. trip is all about.

SPARKY: I thought it was about not ending up in a dark bowling alley like last year.

RK: I choose to look at things differently.

SCENE 3

Seattle-Tacoma International Airport

Interior Terminal

SeaTac, Washington

Principal MacGregor, Karen, Mr. Frax, and Mr. Pastornick are standing in front of the fifth graders that have arrived to the airport for the senior trip.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Alright, everybody, settle down. I know we're all excited to see our nation's capital, but we're representing iCarly Elementary now. We're representing strength, leadership, decorum. These values are very important in building...

MacGregor's voice begins trailing off as the camera moves to Ashley and Sanna.

SANNA: If he was going to give a long speech, couldn't he have saved it for the flight?

ASHLEY: Hey, don't be mean. He's been waiting to ramble like this for two years now. So, do you know who's getting the solo room?

SANNA: I dunno, really. Do we have to decide that now?

ASHLEY: Yes. When we get to D.C., we have to make sure everything's prepared, and that includes the room assignments.

SANNA: Maybe we could give it to Sparky and Buster.

ASHLEY: Why?

SANNA: Couple reasons. They're nice, Buster always compliments me on my shoes, and they didn't even try doing anything corny to get the room. That shows you they don't care.

ASHLEY: True. By the way, did you watch that commercial RK sent us?

SANNA: I tried, but I almost threw up, so I had to turn it off.

Cut to Sparky, Buster, RK, and Wade.

BUSTER: You know what's crazy? We live in Seattle, which is a city in Washington state, right? And we're flying to Washington, D.C., right? So, when you think about it, we're going from Washington to Washington. We're not really traveling anywhere!

WADE: When did you start thinking about that?

BUSTER: A couple days ago. I was just waiting for the right time to talk about it.

SPARKY: Hey RK, did you take my charger?

RK: Ugh, first, you want your camera, now, you think I have your charger? There's only so much I can do for you, Sparko.

BUSTER: Wait a minute. You guys are talking about chargers?

SPARKY: Yeah, I lent mine to RK and he's pretending like he doesn't have it. I'm not into pretending while I'm on vacation, RK.

RK: Then don't be.

BUSTER: Oh, shit.

SPARKY: What?

BUSTER: I think I just realized where my charger is.

Cut to a shot of Buster's charger sitting on his dresser, with a Post-It note attached to it that says "Don't forget me, Buster, or I'll haunt you in your nightmares. JK, love you. :)" Cut back to the airport.

RK: You left a note acting as the charger?

BUSTER: Of course, I did. It's the only way I would remember to bring it. I can't believe I let this happen.

WADE: Did you make a checklist?

BUSTER: A checklist? Wade, I'm flying to D.C., not going camping.

WADE: The whole point of the checklist is to make sure you have everything you need. Whenever I go on trips like this, I use the patented Saltalamacchia Packing Method, or the SPM for short.

BUSTER: Ooh, the SPM. Tell me more, my good man.

WADE: Well, it all starts with the checklist. I write down what I need on a piece of paper, begin packing, and cross off everything as I go along. If I miss even one thing, I unpack all my stuff and start over.

BUSTER: The SPM sounds a little OCD.

WADE: I know it sounds unorthodox, but it helps me remember to take everything with me. I can't even tell you the last time I forgot something.

RK: When it comes to my packing, I follow the Michael Kyle method: Just the essential items, or the criticals. It saves time, space, and it never fails.

SPARKY: Is my charger part of the criticals?

RK: Dude, if you wanna do something, let me know so we can get it done.

SCENE 4

("As I Read My S-A" by Gang Starr plays in the background)

The montage shows the plane leaving the SeaTac airport and taking off into the sky. The plane is then shown on a map, leaving Washington state and moving through the other states on its way to Washington, D.C. Various D.C. landmarks are shown such as the Lincoln Memorial, the Smithsonian, the Capitol Building, the Pentagon, the Supreme Court, and the White House. The last shot is of a Holiday Inn. A coach bus parks near the hotel and the whole iCarly Elementary crew begins filing out.

SCENE 5

Holiday Inn

Exterior Entrance

Washington, D.C.

The kids are standing in a large group outside the hotel as the adults are in front of them.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Well, guys, it's time to check in. Ashley and Sanna, I think you have an important announcement to make.

ASHLEY: Right. Everybody, pay close attention to the room assignments becaude we're only going to say this once.

SANNA: The solo room is going to Sparky and Buster.

ASHLEY: Sanna...

SANNA: What?

SPARKY: We...we got it? We got the room?!

BUSTER: You know what? Let's not act like a couple of little kids about this. We'll be civilized gentlemen.

SPARKY: You're right. No need to degrade ourselves over a room.

Beat.

BUSTER: We're dancing in the room later, aren't we?

SPARKY: Of course, we would be idiots if we didn't.

ASHLEY: Okay, RK and Wade are rooming with Manny and Will.

RK AND WADE: What?!

MANNY: Yeah, I didn't sign off on this. I specifically said I wanted to room with you, Ashley.

ASHLEY: Did you really think that would happen?

MANNY: Why not? It's 2020, I'm not a sexist.

WADE: RK, you know this is it, right?

RK: Yeah, I know. This is where we die. But don't worry. We don't have to talk to them, we don't have to look at them. We don't even have to think about them. As far as we know, they're just our imaginary friends.

WILL: You know we can hear everything you're saying?

RK: Great. You feel the same way?

SCENE 6

Holiday Inn

Interior Hallway

Washington, D.C.

The kids are heading to their respective hotel rooms.

RK: I can't believe this. Not only did neither me or Wade get the solo room, we have to get the shittiest roommates around.

BUSTER: You should be proud of us and our success instead.

WADE: Honestly, Will's not even a bad guy. Manny just makes him shitty by association.

RK: True. All we need to do is isolate Manny and keep him away from us so we could enjoy our vacation.

JAYLYNN: Or you could just enjoy your vacation.

SPARKY/BUSTER/RK/WADE: Oh, shit!

BUSTER: Jaylynn, when did you get here? You snuck on the plane?!

JAYLYNN: No, I...was in the airport with you guys, on the plane, and I rode on the bus. I just blended in with everyone because nobody talked to me.

WADE: Sorry, man, I guess we forgot you came here.

JAYLYNN: It's okay. I was in the back zoning out to Paramore so if you tried talking to me, I probably would have slapped you for killing my vibe.

SCENE 7

Holiday Inn

Interior Hotel Room

Washington, D.C.

Ashley, Sanna, and Gilcania are unpacking on their respective beds.

GILCANIA: So, just to be clear, honies, we're not going to the White House?

ASHLEY: We were thinking about getting that set up, but...you know.

GILCANIA: Yeah, I get it. It's just that I heard RK wanted to sneak into it.

SANNA: Why?

GILCANIA: Nobody knows why that boy does anything. I just look the other way.

Jaylynn comes in with her luggage.

JAYLYNN: Hey guys, sorry for being late, I was with the squad.

ASHLEY: The squad?

JAYLYNN: Yeah, Sparky and them? The people I've hung out with every day of my life for years?

ASHLEY: I know who they are, you've just never called them "the squad" before.

SANNA: She should keep it up. It's better than calling them Testicular Sound Express.

GILCANIA: Right, like, what does that even mean?

JAYLYNN: They came up with that name before I got there. I can't take responsibility for it. So, what's first on the agenda?

ASHLEY: Well, first stop is the Library of Congress.

SCENE 8

Library of Congress

Washington, D.C.

The kids are all putting on their visitor passes.

MR. FRAX: Guys, you're in for a real treat. The collection of history in this place is unparalleled.

RK: Yeah, I heard one of Jay-Z's albums was inducted here.

WADE: That's right, The Blueprint.

BUSTER: What's the big deal about an album getting put in a library? You'll still have to return it in two weeks.

WADE: I probably shouldn't have to say this, but it's not that kind of library.

BUSTER: Of course not, why would it be? What kind of library is it then?

RK: Dude, it's the Library of Congress. They keep important historical documents and bric-a-brac here to protect them. That means long after an apocalypse breaks out and we all die from some painful disease, a copy of that album will remain for eternity.

WADE: That's not exactly how it works, but yeah, it's a big deal.

BUSTER: Wow, that means nobody will ever forget about The Blueprint. Hey Sparky, you and I should make an album, have it sell millions of records, and get it put in this library.

SPARKY: Okay, what should the genre be?

BUSTER: I was thinking a pop rock fusion with a touch of spoken word. Something complicated that only old people will understand.

RK: It's too bad we couldn't go to the White House. I wanted to sneak into the Oval Office and pretend I was a politician.

WADE: It's for the best. We probably would have gotten served McDonald's and Popeyes.

Wade begins laughing and slapping his knee.

SPARKY: I don't see the problem with that.

BUSTER: Yeah, that would be amazing. I would love to get served Quarter Pounders in the White House.

WADE: Yeah, but that's not presidential food. And it would be cold.

RK: So, wouldn't we just put it in the microwave?

Beat.

WADE: See, when I tell Ashley the joke, she'll be busting a gut.

SCENE 9

Holiday Inn

Interior Hotel Room

Washington, D.C.

At night, RK, Wade, and Will are sleeping when a strange mumbling is heard. RK slowly opens his eyes as the mumbling becomes increasingly louder, and he turns to the side and sees Manny sitting by the window, rapidly talking to himself in the darkness.

MANNY: And here to oneself, we become one...death and destruction will be the guide to the thinking man's enlightenment...

RK: Hey Manny, will you shut the hell up? We're trying to sleep here!

MANNY: The year is now 2023, this is our pathway to the guides of lost souls who imitate the older generation...

RK: Dude, do you not have ears? This isn't a game, you dumbass!

WILL: RK, leave him alone.

WADE: You don't hear your friend and his weird, cryptic messages?

WILL: I do. He does that sometimes when we have sleepovers.

RK: WeII, I'm on vacation and he's making me sick, so maybe if I throw a pillow at him, he'll know I mean business.

WILL: No! Don't do that. This is sleepwalking for him. If you try getting him out of it, he'll go nuts like some whacked out dog.

WADE: You know, there are centers that treat people like him.

RK: Whatever. I can't sit here and listen to him talk about rainbows and jambalaya bullshit. I'm sleeping with Sparky and Buster.

Cut to RK coming back inside the hotel room.

WADE: What happened? I thought you went to Sparky and Buster's room.

RK: Buster said "Tough titties" and told me to sleep in the bathtub. And you know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

SCENE 10

Holiday Inn

Interior Cafe

Washington, D.C.

The next morning, Sparky, Buster, RK, Wade, and Will are all having breakfast together.

SPARKY: Wait, so he was talking at the window all night?

WADE: Well, eventually, he snapped out of it and went back to sleep like he never even did it. But it did inspire me to always make sure I have some pepper spray handy.

BUSTER: Maybe Manny does that to cope with the harsh realities of life. I used to talk to the drive-thru at Burger King.

RK: Why would you do that?

BUSTER: I don't know, I was going through something, they were always willing to listen. Plus, they usually gave me free cheeseburgers whenever I was done.

WILL: Look, guys, it's really not a big deal. Manny will do it every now and then, but he's not violent unless you touch him.

RK: See, you have to say things like that because you're his best friend. But I actually want to live to see graduation. When he comes here, I'm letting him know he needs to cut it out.

Manny takes a seat in the boys' booth.

MANNY: Hey guys. Anything good for breakfast?

WADE: Yeah, try the melatonin pancakes.

MANNY: What?

RK: You heard what he said, ya damn sleepwalker!

MANNY: I don't sleepwalk. How dare you accuse me of sleepwalking? Let them know, Will. Let them know how much I don't sleepwalk.

WILL: Manny, they're not stupid. They heard you last night.

MANNY: You heard me? What was I doing?

WADE: You were sitting by the window. You said a bunch of stuff that sounded intelligent on paper, but it was actually pretentious and nonsensical.

RK: Yeah, it was like Charles Manson as an auctioneer.

MANNY: Wow. I had no idea. Will, have I done this before?

WILL: Yes. I've tried snapping you out of it, but you just punched me in the face. I mean, it wasn't a fair fight because I kicked your ass, but it still annoyed me.

MANNY: I can't believe this. No. No, this will not stand. I'm not going to be you guys' creepy roommate. That's not going to be my thing this week.

WADE: You're just going to be that creepy kid that sometimes hits on Jaylynn?

MANNY: Exactly. I don't know what's going to happen tonight, but if I do it again, I want all of you to just gang up on me.

WILL: Dude, are you sure? I don't want shit to escalate.

MANNY: Of course, I am. Pin me down to the floor, throw dirt in my eyes, kick me out of the room. Whatever you need to do so you guys can sleep.

WILL: Alright then.

WADE: Sounds like a plan.

RK: You had me the minute you said we could gang up on you.

MANNY: Hey Buster, you going to finish that bacon?

BUSTER: No, I put it on my plate so you could take it away from me.

MANNY: That's what I thought.

Manny takes one of Buster's bacon strips and Buster pinches Manny's wrist.

MANNY: Ow, son of a bitch!

BUSTER: I was being sarcastic, you idiot!

MANNY: You actually know what that word means?!

SCENE 11

Howard University

Exterior WHUR 96.3 Station

Washington, D.C.

Mr. Pastornick is leading some of the kids outside of Howard's official radio station.

JAYLYNN: So, that's where "quiet storm" came from.

MR. PASTORNICK: Yup, Howard is filled with history. This school actually helped play a role in the Harlem Renaissance.

ASHLEY: You know, we should make this an annual thing for everybody. The senior trip should just be in D.C. every year.

SANNA: I don't know. I doubt everybody would want to come here every year.

ASHLEY: Why not? There's so much to do. And it's unlikely most of us will get to see places like this for a long time.

SANNA: But you want some variety. The fourth graders probably have their own thing they want to make happen next year.

ASHLEY: Oh, so we can't...

SANNA: Forget it. The idea's lame, let's just leave it at that.

JAYLYNN: Damn.

ASHLEY: Just forget I said anything.

Ashley shakes her head while Jaylynn continuously stares back at her and Sanna.

SCENE 12

Holiday Inn

Interior Hotel Room

Washington, D.C.

Later on, Ashley is looking for something in her suitcase when Jaylynn walks into the room.

JAYLYNN: Hey, some of us are getting ice cream with Mr. Pastornick. You wanna come?

ASHLEY: No, I'm staying in here. I just want to be left alone and read one of my favorite books.

Jaylynn takes a look at Ashley's book.

JAYLYNN: James Patterson?

ASHLEY: I've heard the things people say about him, but he's not that bad.

JAYLYNN: Look, Ashley, just because Sanna said your idea was lame, doesn't mean you have to throw a pity party about it.

ASHLEY: I'm not. I just...really want to spend some time with my man JP.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, real convincing. Come on, sit down. Talk to Auntie Jaylynn, let her know what's bothering you.

ASHLEY: Fine. I don't want to be around Sanna, okay? Lately, everything she does pisses me off.

JAYLYNN: Interesting. Why's that?

ASHLEY: Because she acts like she runs the senior committee by herself. I had to convince her it would be a good idea. We spent weeks picking out designs for the yearbook. Everything was done 50/50. And now, she's treating me like her sidekick.

JAYLYNN: Maybe Sanna doesn't know what she's doing.

ASHLEY: Yeah, Gilcy said the same thing. But I don't buy it. She's trying to get on my nerves because she thinks it's funny. So, I'm just going to stay away from her whenever I can.

JAYLYNN: Okay. You could do that. Or you could punch her in the face.

ASHLEY: What?!

JAYLYNN: Look, Ash, if Sanna's really acting like that, and she's not listening to you, you need to see her outside. Make an example out of her, kick her ass until she gets it.

ASHLEY: Are you smoking weed? I'm not putting my hands on Sanna.

JAYLYNN: You say that now. But then you hold on to all that anger, all that frustration, and you lash out. And you're the last person that needs to lash out.

ASHLEY: You're right. Nobody likes me when I'm angry. So, what, I should just walk up to her and start pounding her?

JAYLYNN: No, don't hit her first. You confront her. Give her one more chance to act right, and if she pushes you again, then you let her know it's on.

ASHLEY: I don't think so.

JAYLYNN: Ashley, I'm not saying this because I love drama. I'm not saying this because I want to see people get hurt. I'm saying this because you're my friend. You need to step up and put Sanna in her place. Just give her what she has coming, man. Or she'll never learn.

Ashley sighs and shakes her head.

ASHLEY: Buster was right, we should have went to Disney World.

SCENE 13

Big Porky's Arcade & Munchies

Washington, D.C.

That night, everybody is at Big Porky's playing old-school arcade games or eating. Cut to the guys at their table.

BUSTER: It's official. I have no idea how to pack for a vacation.

JAYLYNN: What a weird problem to have.

SPARKY: Buster, what are you talking about?

BUSTER: The SPM! I tried it so many times, and I still haven't mastered it. I always end up missing something.

WADE: Don't worry, man, you'll get the hang of it. Remember, practice makes perfect.

BUSTER: Actually, Wade, practice makes permanent. See, when you're constantly repeating an action with no change in your approach, it only leads to stagnation and complacency rather than any genuine development.

Everybody gives Buster looks of bewilderment.

BUSTER: I read a lot of cool stuff on the internet. Helps keep the brain feeling shiny.

Cut to Sanna playing skeeball when Ashley walks up to her.

SANNA: You know what's crazy? I've never played this game before and I'm already good at it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I think you need more practice, but Sanna, what was that about earlier today?

SANNA: What do you mean?

ASHLEY: You know what I mean. That whole thing at Howard? You telling everybody my idea was lame?

SANNA: Yeah. I thought the idea was lame. So I can't have an opinion now?

ASHLEY: That's not the point, you can't just make me look bad in front of everybody. It makes the committee look bad.

SANNA: Well, I said I was sorry.

ASHLEY: No, you didn't.

SANNA: Okay, I'm sorry.

Sanna tries to grab the ball but Ashley takes it away.

SANNA: Hey, wait your turn like everybody else!

ASHLEY: Are you kidding me? You're not even taking me seriously, just like you do with everything else. It's always, "If it doesn't matter to Sanna, it doesn't matter at all."

SANNA: You know what your problem is? You don't know how to have fun. You always have to have some broomstick crammed up your ass about everything.

ASHLEY: Maybe I wouldn't have a broomstick if you treated me like we're partners. I'm not your sidekick, I'm not your secretary, and I'm not your bitch.

SANNA: Partners? Ashley, get a clue. This isn't a business, it's the damn senior committee. That's it!

ASHLEY: Whatever. This is why I hate talking to you.

SANNA: Fine, be mad.

Ashley sucks her teeth and begins walking away.

SANNA: You might not be my bitch, but you're definitely acting like one.

Ashley's eyes widen and she turns around, walks up to Sanna, and shoves her to the floor.

SANNA: Ashley, stop. You're going to get hurt.

ASHLEY: Too f***ing late.

Ashley punches Sanna in the face, which leads to a brawl between the two as she tries getting in more shots. The two wrestle on the ground as Sanna gains the upper hand and some kids begin taking out their phones to record the fight. The instrumental to "Let It Roll" plays briefly in the background as Principal MacGregor and Mr. Frax try to separate the girls.

SCENE 14

Big Porky's Arcade & Munchies

Washington, D.C.

Sanna is holding a tissue to her lip while Ashley is clutching her arm in pain. They're seated on a bench outside the restaurant as Principal MacGregor and Mr. Frax talk to them.

MR. FRAX: Unbelievable. You two fighting? Can someone please explain to me how this happened?

SANNA: She started it! She put her hands on me first!

ASHLEY: You had it coming for a long time. You called me a bitch!

SANNA: I said you were acting like one. Know the difference!

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Enough! I don't need to know who started it. You two are going to make up right now or we're all flying on the first plane back to Seattle!

ASHLEY AND SANNA: What?!

MR. FRAX: MacGregor, could I rap with you for a minute?

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Sure.

Principal MacGregor and Mr. Frax walk over to the side.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Rap with you?

MR. FRAX: It's old-school slang. Look, I agree that Ashley and Sanna went over the line, but we can't punish the whole grade for what they did.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Frax, we can't go soft on these kids. We're on-location. I didn't come here to do principal shit, but they're forcing my hand!

MR. FRAX: I understand that. But I think since Ashley and Sanna were the ones who misbehaved, they should face the consequences. Or all their friends are going to hate them for ruining the trip.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: You're a good man, Frax. Alright, follow me, I have a plan.

MacGregor and Frax walk up to the girls.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Girls, here it is. Your behavior tonight was appalling, disappointing, and embarrassing. But we're going to let you off with a warning.

ASHLEY: What do you mean?

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: It means we're giving you a chance to make up for what you did. But if you two put hands on each other one more time, we're sending both of you back home.

SANNA: I can't believe this.

MR. FRAX: So, what do you prefer, Sanna? All of us go home because of this? The choice is yours, girls. No physicality or else.

Beat.

ASHLEY: Okay, no physicality.

SANNA: We'll behave.

PRINCIPAL MACGREGOR: Great. If you two want to cool off here, that's fine, but as for me, I have a hot date with a pulled pork sandwich covered in barbecue sauce. See you inside.

Principal MacGregor and Mr. Frax head back inside the restaurant.

ASHLEY: Well, at least they're not punishing the others.

SANNA: Shut up. It's your fault this happened in the first place.

ASHLEY: Because you want to make it seem like you run the committee.

SANNA: I don't make anything seem like anything. But I can't help it if I'm a better leader than you.

ASHLEY: You're not. And there's no way you can prove it.

SANNA: No, I think there is. See, my lip is bleeding because of you, but I can't touch you if I want to stay here. By the time this trip is over, I'm going to make everyone see you don't deserve to even be in the committee.

ASHLEY: Good luck with that.

SANNA: I don't need luck. But you need a prayer.

ASHLEY: Whatever.

Beat.

SANNA: Seriously, you almost f***ed it up for everybody.

ASHLEY: At least I f***ed you up.

Sanna gives Ashley a disgusted look while Ashley looks at her with an arrogant smile.

SCENE 15

Holiday Inn

Interior Hotel Room

Washington, D.C.

That night, RK and Wade are watching TV when Will comes in brushing his teeth.

WILL: You're watching Family Guy?

RK: Yeah, it's the one where Peter starts his own religion. Classic.

WADE: Hey, you guys think Sanna and Ashley are going to be okay? That fight was kinda intense.

WILL: They should be. They love each other, they just need some time apart.

RK: If we can take anything with us from what happened tonight, it's to never make Ashley resort to violence. Because she will put her foot deep in your ass.

Manny walks into the room.

MANNY: Alright, ese vatos, I'm going to go to bed now. No reason for you all to do anything unless you have to.

Manny goes into the bathroom.

RK: Man, I can't wait. What's the game plan here?

WILL: Well, I'm thinking I pin him down first since I'm bigger than him. Then you guys could get your shots in and maybe tape his mouth shut.

RK: Yeah, that sounds good. Ooh, maybe we could grab him and toss him in the shower so he'll wake up confused. And just to let him know we'll take it there, we dump ice all over him while the shower water hits him.

WADE: I don't like how excited you are about this.

SCENE 16

Holiday Inn

Interior Hotel Room

Washington, D.C.

Manny begins talking to the window again, which wakes everybody up at the same time.

WADE: Forget what I said earlier, this kid is going down!

RK: Sick 'em, Will!

Will grabs Manny, who begins screaming. RK and Wade run up to Manny and cover his mouth, then all three pin Manny down at the same time.

RK: I really hope nobody heard that.

WILL: Okay, we need a way to keep Manny quiet for the rest of the night. Anyone have some tape?

RK pulls a roll of Scotch tape out of his pocket.

RK: I never leave home without it.

Wade and Will give RK bored looks.

RK: What? You never know what kinda creeps need to have their mouth shut. I'm thinking about you guys here.

Cut to Manny shown sleeping in the bathtub with tape covering his mouth. RK, Wade, and Will look over him with pride.

WADE: Well, looks like we did it. Nice work, roommates.

RK, Wade, and Will all proceed to high-five each other.

RK: So, what do we do when he wakes up and goes psycho again?

WILL: We can use your shower idea. But we don't have any ice.

RK: Don't worry, there's ice in the lobby. We'll get it fresh and dump it down his pajamas as a bonus. That way, he'll start flopping like a fish out of water.

Beat.

RK: You know what? You guys are right, I'm a little sadistic.

SCENE 17

Lincoln Memorial

Washington, D.C.

The next day, Ashley walks up to the Lincoln Memorial by herself and sighs.

ASHLEY: How do you do, Abe? No, that's way too formal. Yo, Abie, what's really good? No, that's way too gross. Look, President Lincoln, I don't know what to do. Yesterday, I had a fight with my best friend Sanna. We actually beat each other up. I didn't think it would happen, but I was just tired of feeling like her sidekick.

LINCOLN STATUE: Oh yeah? So, it didn't feel good to crack your best friend's jaw?

ASHLEY: Wait, what? You can talk?!

LINCOLN STATUE: Of course, I can. I'm Abraham Lincoln, toots. I run the whole world. You better recognize.

Cut to a shot of two guys standing near the Lincoln statue, holding microphones and snickering.

ASHLEY: No, no, I do recognize. It's just that...I don't want to hate Sanna. I want us to be cool, but she wants to prove she can run the senior committee better than me.

LINCOLN STATUE: So, stop being a wuss and tell her that it's on.

ASHLEY: Huh?

LINCOLN STATUE: You heard me, little girl. If your best friend is challenging you, you accept it. It's an eye for an eye. She keys your car, you key hers. She sends you an envelope with her saliva all over it, you send her one with your blood stains. Destroy her, annihilate her. Banish her to the depths of hell!

ASHLEY: You really think that's a good idea?

LINCOLN STATUE: What do you think? I'm Abraham Lincoln, motherf***er. I was president of this country. I took a bullet for your sins, I'm on money. You better recognize.

ASHLEY: Alright, alright. I hear you, Lincoln. I'm going to prove to Sanna that I'm a better leader than her. And I'll prove it so much, she'll be dying to be best friends again. Thanks!

Ashley runs away from the Lincoln Memorial.

LINCOLN STATUE: No problem...you little dumbass.

The guys are heard snickering, but the shot remains on the memorial itself.

LINCOLN STATUE: Wait, hang on. Shut up, shut up, another kid's coming.

A boy around Ashley's age walks up to the Lincoln Memorial.

BOY: I don't get what the big deal is. You're not that great.

LINCOLN STATUE: Yeah, but I know what your mother tastes like.

The little boy runs away screaming while the guys are unable to contain their laughter.

SCENE 18

("First" by the Jonas Brothers plays in the background)

The montage shows Ashley and Sanna competing in a game of one-upsmanship to prove they are the true leader of the senior committee. The kids walk by a merchandise stand outside and Sanna decides to buy some things for everybody. Ashley pulls out her wallet and the two try to buy as much merchandise as they can. At the Smithsonian, more people pay attention to Ashley and her knowledge on the various exhibits on display at the museum. Sanna tries to compete by reading information off her hand and arms, but she instead gets laughed at. Everybody goes to a Washington Nationals game, where Sanna ends up successful due to Ashley's lack of interest in sports. She buys baseballs for the kids, interacts with the employees at Nationals Park, and even gets the kids on the stadium's video screen by starting a dance in her row.

The kids return to Big Porky's and watch as Ashley competes against Sanna in a game of Asteroids, which Ashley barely wins. Everybody carries Ashley on their shoulders and celebrates with her while Sanna flips Ashley off. At night, the students and faculty take a group photo outside the restaurant, but Ashley and Sanna end up delaying it by trying to be in front of the shot, almost breaking the "no physicality" rule.

SCENE 19

Holiday Inn

Interior Hotel Room

Washington, D.C.

Sparky walks into the room humming "First" when he sees Buster frantically crossing things off on a clipboard.

SPARKY: Buster, what the hell are you doing?

BUSTER: Ah, it's the MacDougal kid. I love ya, MacDougal. You know why? Because you get me, you understand me. You know what it takes to do the things that need to be done. That's some real doing.

SPARKY: I was just wondering if you were ready to head to the airport. The kids are already starting to wait for the coach bus outside.

BUSTER: Indeed, I am, MacDougal. You know, MacDougs, I finally figured out the key to the SPM's success.

SPARKY: Borderline insanity?

Buster begins cackling and snorting like a pig, which creeps Sparky out.

BUSTER: No. No, with the SPM, what makes it work is you visualize each and every object that goes inside the bag. You imagine the result that you want. So, I have this here checklist, and before I put pen to paper, I visualized crossing off each object that was here. I put the object in the bag, do a check on the paper, put the object in, do a check. Object, check, object, check. It's very simple, but complicated.

SPARKY: So, you figured out Wade's packing method?

BUSTER: But, of course.

SPARKY: So, we can go now?

BUSTER: Yeah, sure. Come on, man, we need to catch the bus.

Buster takes his bags and runs out of the door.

SPARKY: What were all the theatrics about?

Sparky looks at the hotel bathroom and begins rubbing his chin. After a transition, we see Sparky packing various lotions and shampoos into his bag. He begins cackling similar to Buster, then stops to look at the camera.

SPARKY: Yeah, I like collecting toiletries from hotels. You have a problem with that?

SCENE 20

Holiday Inn

Exterior Entrance

Washington, D.C.

The kids are shown waiting for the bus outside. Ashley and Sanna step in front of them.

ASHLEY: Alright, guys, we need to know something important.

JAYLYNN: What?

SANNA: Who was the better leader this week? Me or Ashley?

Beat.

MANNY: Why should we give a f*** about that?

ASHLEY: Because you should. After all we did this week for you ungrateful kids, you should be proud.

SANNA: Yeah. I made myself look like an idiot at that baseball game for your amusement.

ROBERT: Sounds like your problem then.

SANNA: Shut up, Robert!

SPARKY: Look, guys, we had a lot of fun here. And we would have had even more fun if you didn't make it about yourselves.

ASHLEY: Wait, seriously? We almost ruined everything for you guys?

GILCANIA: Yes, honies. You were petty, immature, and you could have gotten all of us sent home early.

SANNA: You don't know that.

WADE: Actually, we do. Standard protocol during a trip like this is to end it after a physical altercation. We just got lucky.

RK: Yeah, you guys were trying too hard.

All the kids nod in agreement and murmur amongst themselves. Ashley and Sanna look at each other with shame.

SCENE 21

Ashley is sitting by herself on the coach bus when Sanna takes a seat next to her.

SANNA: You wanna talk to someone that almost ruined the senior trip?

ASHLEY: Depends. You wanna talk to someone that did the same thing?

SANNA: Sure. I can't believe we fought all week and everybody clowned us for it.

ASHLEY: Well, we lead the senior committee. We set the example so they know what we did was off-brand.

SANNA: Look, Ashley, if you were feeling unappreciated, why didn't you say anything? Why did you have to hit me?

ASHLEY: I tried, but you wouldn't listen. Sometimes, talking to you is like one of those old Peanuts cartoons.

SANNA: Peanuts? What's that?

ASHLEY: Charlie Brown.

SANNA: Oh, that's what you call it.

ASHLEY: Anyway, I felt like you weren't listening to me. You just acted like it was your committee so I got angry.

SANNA: It could never be my committee. You and I are co-leaders. We do everything together, nobody's a sidekick.

ASHLEY: I wish I knew that a couple days ago.

SANNA: I'm sorry. This committee is the first time I felt like my voice was heard, like people really cared about what I had to say.

ASHLEY: Wait, what? People listen to you all the time.

SANNA: Yeah, because I'm the rich girl who throws amazing parties, not because they like my opinions or my thoughts. But this changed everything for me. I got a lot of confidence this year.

ASHLEY: I never knew that.

SANNA: Yeah, I don't like talking about my feelings so much. But hey, the year isn't over for weeks. We shouldn't be fighting, we should be bringing everybody together.

ASHLEY: Exactly.

SANNA: So, are we friends again?

ASHLEY: Please, like we ever stopped.

Ashley and Sanna hug each other.

SANNA: So, when do we apologize to everybody for being petty?

ASHLEY: We could do it when we get home. But to make sure they forgive us, we could bake something really good on top of that.

SANNA: Bribery? You wanna just influence our classmates like that, our friends?

ASHLEY: I'm sorry, we should think of something else.

SANNA: No, I'm just playing, I love that idea.

ASHLEY: You bum.

Ashley playfully hits Sanna on the arm.

SANNA: Damn, do you live at the gym or something?

ASHLEY: Maybe.

Cut to black.

("Lovely Day" by Bill Withers plays over the end credits)

©2020 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS

In memory of Bill Withers

July 4, 1938 - March 30, 2020