I am a Robot

by MullberryAxis

Todoroki definitely shouldn't have started listening to a song that was summing up his life when he was already feeling down. Family days suck. Or: All Might is wonderful and adopts another child.

A/N: I wrote this a while ago, so it's probably not as good as it could be. Also,

Disclaimer: I do not own the song iRobot. I don't even know who actually owns it, I'm just using it to be angsty.

I am a Robot

"Why are we doing this, again?"

Iida turns to look at me, exasperation written all over his face."Because, Todoroki, Principle Nezu thought it would be a good idea for the parents, students, and teachers to hang out and get to know each other better. It promotes trust and friendship with the school and the families attending it. My parents, for one, are very pleased that UA is doing this. I would very much appreciate it if you would stop asking me that. This must be the third time. It's quite unlike you."

After Iida's rather long winded reply, I shrugged and moved on, hoping to find someone who I could simply hang around without having to actually talk to either them or their parents.

To be completely honest, I could care less about this Teacher/Family function. It isn't even that official. It's being held in the dorm's COMMON area, for goodness sake. And it's not like any of my family will be here anyway. Fuyumi is working, Natsuo is studying for an important exam, and Endeavor... well he can rot at home, lonely and miserable with no soba to keep him company.

With no success in my mission (everyone keeps trying to drag me into their conversations), I slip away to a quiet corner to spend the rest of the evening as I'm used to. Alone. As I look out into the crowd of people, I can't help the tiny bit of jealousy that starts to creep up on me. Everyone's so happy hanging out with their parents and teachers, time that they normally wouldn't get being shared by all. Even Mineta is having a good time with his parents.

Not liking where this train of thought will take me, I pull out my phone and headphones, hoping no one will notice that I'm not partaking in the party. I scroll through my music, not really knowing what to listen too. One thing catches my eye. It's an old song, by someone called Jon Bellion. The lyrics come back to me as the song starts to play.

I was a human, breathing and thinking

Eating and drinking, philosophizing

I was a human, before you killed me

And ripped my heart out, I knew what love was

I forgot how much I related to this song. Even just the first verse. That's probably why I saved it. The memories of my childhood come flooding back, and surprisingly, I don't fight it. I feel a coldness wash over me as the song continues to play.

Now when they ask me, I just reply slow

And sound like an iPhone

I do not know love, I am a robot (Ba ba ba ba bam bada bum)

I do not know love, I am a robot (Ba ba ba ba bam bada bum)

I used to know love

Thoughts of my mother come now, how she tried to protect me from him. All that she suffered for her children's sake. The guilt that ate away at me when I realized he put her in the hospital because of me.

'Cause I had a fire, passion and desire

Now all I require are circuits and wires

Inside was an ocean of soul and emotion

Then you cut me open, now all that I know is

I realize that this is starting to be too much, that the song is hitting way too close to home and that if I keep going like this, I won't be able to keep my composure with everyone around me. I have to try to sneak out. Because weirdly enough, I don't want the song to stop. I want it to run its course.

I slip by the happy families, confident that they are too occupied to notice a white and red haired boy sneaking past them. The song keeps playing as I make my way to the roof.

I am a robot, thoughtless (I wish) and empty

Don't know who sent me, don't know who made me

Electric robot, everything's gray now

Numb to the pain now, I knew what love was

It's a good thing I made it to the roof in time, because those last two lines hit far too close to home. I slide down the small wall lining the roof and curl up into a ball. Maybe continuing the song was a bad idea. Now I'm just disappointed in myself. Letting a song do this to me? I am supposed to be a future hero, someone who brings hope and security to peoples lives. I must really be pathetic. I let out a quiet sob, too weak to stop myself before it comes. Even as I cry though, I start to sing along.

Now when they ask me, I just reply slow

And sound like an iPhone

I do not know love, I am a robot (Ba ba ba ba bam bada bum)

I do not know love, I am a robot (Ba ba ba ba bam bada bum)

I used to know love

As much as I hate myself for it, it feels kind of...good to cry. It's a luxury I don't normally have. If I had even sniffled once when Endeavor thought I was too old for such things...

And besides that, I also kind of like the whole singing thing. Another thing I wasn't allowed to do growing up.

'Cause I had a fire, passion and desire

Now all I require are circuits and wires

Inside was an ocean of soul and emotion

Then you cut me open, now all that I know is

I am a robot

I am a robot

I used to know love

As the song was ending, still curled in a tight ball, I felt a presence to my right, like someone was watching me. I managed to lift my head enough to see All Might standing in the doorway to the roof, looking like he had accidentally kicked a puppy.

'Cause I had a fire, passion and desire

Now all I require are circuits and wires

Inside was an ocean of soul and emotion

Then you cut me open, now all that I know is

We looked at each other for a second but it wasn't long before I broke eye contact. It was bad enough that I broke down over a stupid song and now my hero caught me crying on the roof. It all just made me want to scream.

"Young Todoroki?"

I am a Robot

I didn't even notice the song ending. He spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear him. I grimace slightly because I don't really want to hear that name right now. He must have noticed because...

"Young Shouto? Are you alright?"

I try to put my mask of indifference back on, but it is stubbornly refusing. I opened my mouth to say that I was fine and that I'd like to be alone, but the words stuck in my throat when I looked at All Might again. He looked like he was physically hurting seeing one of his students like this. I had never really experienced this kind of thing before.

"No. I guess I'm not."

He walks over to me and sits down on my left.

"I'm sorry. I thought I had gotten away without drawing any attention."

"Well, I can be a very observant person. Especially when it comes to my students." A pause. "I don't know what's bothering you for sure, but I think I have a pretty good idea." I look at him. "It's hard. Seeing everyone with their parents."

I let out a huff. "Looks like you had better than a 'pretty good idea'."

All Might didn't say anything after that. Neither did I. I got so caught up in my thoughts that I almost didn't notice All Might placing his arm around my shoulder and pulling me against his side. I thought about protesting or moving away, saying that I wasn't a child, that I was a hero-in-training. But I found that I actually found some comfort in the gesture. We stayed like that for a bit until All Might spoke up.

"You know, music is a powerful thing. It can make someone happy or sad, make them laugh or cry. Sometimes it gives us the release we didn't even know we were looking for. Now, I don't know what you were listening to or why it affected you like this. But you should know, it's not necessarily a bad thing. It seems to me that you could use any kind of emotional release you can get."

I was a little bit amazed that he was able to glean what the situation was just by what he had seen but he has had years of experience comforting frightened and panicy citizens.

"...You're probably right. I'm just so used to pushing everything away. And then there's everyone here having a good time with their parents, while mine are either terrible or locked away... Sometimes the only thing I can think to do is to shut everything out."

"There's a lot of ways of dealing with things. I haven't found pushing things out to be very good for you... Look, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Just know that there are better ways. And remember that you have a lot of people that care about you."

"...I'll try."

We sit in silence once again. All Might hasn't made a move to leave yet and for that I'm grateful. It's been a very long time since I've experienced this kind of affection. It makes me feel like there might be something left of the heart I once had. Who knows...

...Maybe I'm not a robot after all.

The End