Honestly, life is going pretty great for Luo Binghe. He's living out his dream job of killing people and getting paid for it, he has a house in a quiet neighborhood that knows not to ask too many questions, and he has a semi-domestic life partner who cooks him delicious meals and does his laundry with only the occasional side-bitching.
What more can he ask for?
He's reclining in what he fondly dubs the Murder Chair, an overstuffed cushy kick back chair that he likes to sink into after a long day of work. It's irritatingly covered in a thin sheet of plastic on Shen Jiu's insistence after getting blood on it on more than a few occasions but it's still one of the most comfortable things in the house. Aside from sleeping in their bed and cuddling up to Shen Jiu but the day Luo Binghe willingly admits that is the day he cuts off his own tongue.
"Luo Binghe!" Shen Jiu screeches from the entrance. The sound of the door slamming sends him out of his relaxed state.
"What?" Luo Binghe snaps back in annoyance even though he already knows why Shen Jiu is whining. He's left a dead body in the foyer again. He swears he was going to clean it up by the time Shen Jiu was home but he must have come back early from classes.
"Oh my God," Shen Jiu huffs in exasperation, pretty mouth pulled into a pout, "Will you stop killing people near our neighborhood? This is like the fifth body I've found inside our house. Do you know how hard it is to clean this all up? My entire evening gone!"
"You need to calm down," Luo Binghe scoffs dismissively. "It's not like you need to dispose of it."
"Disinfect everything," Shen Jiu orders with a wag of his finger as he drops his bag next to the couch and heads off to the kitchen. "I'd better not see a single drop of blood."
"Fight me," Luo Binghe bites back.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, dear!" Luo Binghe replies sweetly.
Shen Jiu sets down a plate of grilled skewers in front of him and then pauses. "Wait, how have you been disposing of the bodies?" Luo Binghe arches an eyebrow and his eyes briefly dart outside.
"My garden?" Shen Jiu wails in despair, "You put them in my garden? No wonder my azaleas are doing so well. I thought they might have changed our water's mineral content."
"You are very loud," Luo Binghe complains but there is no heat in his words. Despite all the gripes and whining he has to hear, Shen Jiu still makes him dinner each night, packs him a lunch in the morning, and washes the bloodstains from his shirts. Co-dependency is actually working for them though he occasionally gets the random friend who teases him about his domestic life and the pretty girlfriend who he must have at home to make him such wholesome lunches. Which Shen Jiu is not.
"We've run out of flour," Shen Jiu comments, picking up a carrot on his plate and transferring it without a word onto Luo Binghe's. Shen Jiu hates carrots but Luo Binghe loves them especially the way Shen Jiu cooks them so they always exchange bits of food during meal times. Carrots for Luo Binghe, mushrooms for Shen Jiu.
"I'll pick up some if you make pie," he answers. Shen Jiu rolls his eyes. In a past life, Luo Binghe would have dug them out with a rusty spoon for such insolence, the man thinks with a fond smile.
"Then you'll also need to buy some apples," he reminds him. They're like friends who barely tolerate each other in order to cohabitate in this expensive ass city. Plus Shen Jiu doesn't mind his extracurricular activities for all the bitching that he does.
"Did you remember to leave your tools in the basement?" Shen Jiu asks offhandedly though Luo Binghe knows he'll pitch a fit if he leaves his bloody implements all over the furniture. Which is why he spent the first week cleaning up the house of anything Shen Jiu might have deemed inappropriate for house guests on the ground floor. Not that he'll admit to it.
"Yes," he responds dutifully, "The meat is too salty."
"Shut up," Shen Jiu retorts though Luo Binghe knows he takes the criticism to heart. Tomorrow, he'll adjust the meals. After dinner, Luo Binghe picks up the dishes and washes them while Shen Jiu goes to deal with scrubbing out his clothes. After nightly chores, they take up their respective seats on the faded couch in the living room and watch a couple of reruns. Or rather, Luo Binghe snarks at the characters on the screen and Shen Jiu pulls up his latest school assignment to work on.
The doorbell rings while they're eating breakfast. They both look up at each other.
"Not it."
"I picked up the door last time," Shen Jiu defends quickly, clutching his bowl of porridge stubbornly.
"And I got rid of that telemarketer," he points out with a raise of his eyebrows.
"And by that you mean…"
"Under the magnolia tree."
"Of course," he sighs, setting the bowl down. "I'll get the damn door." It keeps ringing incessantly. "Yes, yes. I can hear you."
There's the sound of talking; Luo Binghe ignores it in favor of the newspaper. Perusing through it, he's mildly miffed that he's only made it to page six and pegged as an accident at that. He's going to have to up his game. He won't say it out loud but the nagging has grown on him. It leaves him with a warm feeling in his chest whenever Shen Jiu fusses over him, complains about his latest job while bandaging any wounds.
"Darling," Shen Jiu calls entering the kitchen with a bright sunny smile. Instantly he is on guard as he relaxes his shoulders and schools his expression into something open and easy. The only time Shen Jiu every calls him a sickly sweet pet name is when the police have knocked on their door. "There's someone here to see you and he wouldn't take no for an answer."
A man wearing the standard cop uniform comes in, nodding at him even as his eyes stray toward his Shen Jiu. He smirks internally. He knows objectively that his roommate/pseudo-boyfriend is attractive. He's not the sharpest dresser but the lithe willowy curves on his body and the guileless softness of his elegant face puts any woman to shame. Plus a plush ass that would make grown men weep, it was a triple threat combo that had gotten Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe out of many nasty situations. Luo Binghe teases Shen Jiu endlessly about his womanly figure but it helps with the charade when the cops start looking too closely.
"Morning, sir…?" Luo Binghe greets easily, nearly startling the officer from his staring. He holds out a hand to shake even though he'd much rather take a bat to the man's head and drag his carcass into the basement.
"Officer Liu Qingge," the officer introduces.
"Morning, Officer Liu Qingge," Luo Binghe repeats obligingly. "I'm Luo Binghe and this is my lovely Shen Jiu. What can we do for you this early in the morning?"
Shen Jiu refills his cup of coffee and presses a light hand on Luo Binghe's shoulder. To the outside observer it would seem like a normal gesture between a couple but it conveys his worry well. Luo Binghe smiles gratefully at Shen Jiu and catches his hand on his shoulder with his own. He gives it a small reassuring squeeze before letting him go.
"I was just dropping by to alert the neighbors about a recent murder in the area," the officer replies back. His eyes briefly dart to Shen Jiu who's bending down to search for the sugar jar in one of the lower cabinets. Just as quickly, the officer's attention snaps back to Luo Binghe with a red flush suffusing his cheek. "We're advising residents to stay inside at night and report any suspicious behavior to the authorities."
Shen Jiu sets down a cup of coffee in front of Liu Qingge and a bowl of sugar and cream. Immediately, he turns to Shen Jiu smiling and thanking him. He smiles back and turns to the stove to busy himself while surreptitiously eavesdropping. The officer continues watching Shen Jiu rapturously, thoroughly distracted from the conversation.
"That's unfortunate," Luo Binghe affects a frown. "I hope you catch the killer soon. Thank you for stopping by and alerting us though, officer. We'll watch out for anything suspicious, won't we sweetheart?"
"We'll make sure to lock all doors and windows at night," Shen Jiu agrees, drying his hands and making his way to sit next to him. In a bold, purely selfish move, Luo Binghe presses a kiss to Shen Jiu's temple. The possessive gesture isn't lost on Liu Qingge who quickly averts his gaze and stands up without touching his coffee.
"I'm still angry at you and liable to throw things," he warns Luo Binghe when he steps into the room. He pauses for just a millisecond before continuing to walk forward toward their bed. Shen Jiu turns away from him like a sullen child, and even in his anger, he is still the most adorable person Luo Binghe has ever seen.
"Are you going to talk to me or stay here and sulk like a girl?" Well, he never said was going to be nice about it. His shoulders tighten visibly. They both know how this will go, delaying the inevitable is not in their nature and Shen Jiu reluctantly turns to him.
"Talk quickly or else," he orders with narrowed eyes.
"Move in with me!" Luo Binghe blurts out before slapping a hand over his mouth. Whatever he thought he was going to say, an apology or an excuse, it certainly wasn't this. But he can't take it back now so he moves forward with it, fumbling with his pocket and pulling out the box. Shen Jiu's eyes widen into large saucer shapes.
"Oh my God, you're proposing," he says with absolute horror.
"What?" Luo Binghe splutters, "No, don't be stupid. This is a house key. I bought a fucking house."
"Oh thank God," Shen Jiu sighs with an offensive amount of relief. "I don't relish in the idea of living as your kept man with you. Imagine what the neighbors would say."
"You're already my kept man," Luo Binghe snarks.
The garden is huge, almost three times the size of their previous residence. It's already decorated with an abundance of his favorite perennials and sapling fruit trees. Not the exact ones because he burned them to cinders in the old place and he had already received an earful for that. He glances nervously at Shen Jiu but the man is fighting back a smile, lip twitching upward and glee lighting up his eyes.
"I suppose it's passable," Shen Jiu responds coolly, stepping among the beds and inspecting the blooms. Binghe doesn't realize he's holding his breath until his chest deflates in relief and he smiles too.