Bellflower

Although she had never pondered on it for too long, Kagome truly loved flowers. She liked their sundry colors and textures a lot, their subtle scents and delicate beauty even more. Her favorites would have to be sakuras, as unoriginal as that may be. They felt familiar and safe and reminded her of home. Both her homes. She could hear the murmur of the crowds beyond the well gathering for picnics beneath the flowers if she was in the past; she could smell the pureness of the air layered with the faint almond-like scent of the trees when in the future.

At that moment, however, she felt glad the flowers were disappearing, their pink petals burning on the ground and withering away in grey dust. The lovely fields turned to common gravel and the summery fragrance that permeated the air vanished. Her demonic companions would no doubt be more than grateful that the protruding aroma much too aggressive to their sensitive noses was finally gone, as much as she secretly enjoyed watching Kirara adorably sneeze and mewl in annoyance.

"Kagome, are you okay?"

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the voice that came from her side, the red-clad half-demon staring straight ahead as if the battle hadn't ended and he needed to remain alert.

"Fine. How about you?"

"Fine. Thanks to you."

It felt tense and mechanical. Unusual for their usual easiness. Most of their time together was spent playfully bickering over small things, the other part sharing sincere dialogs that never prodded too far.

Light russet eyes wandered cautiously to his face, immediately noticing the streaks of blood tears marring his beautiful features. She took a white cotton cloth from her pocket and wiped his cheeks, careful as not to accidentally poke him.

'He wept tears of blood… Whatever happened must have been hard for him…'

"Before you came," Inuyasha started, "I had a dream about Kikyou."

Kagome flinched, her fingers dropping from his face. "Oh?"

"When I saw her, she asked me to go with her."

She was silent for a bit longer than she had wanted to. That was no surprise to her, she had heard what Kaou had been enticing him to do.

"Did you want to?" she asked prudently, her voice lacking its customary upbeat strength.

"I never answered. You woke me up."

How many days it had been since that night, she wasn't sure. Attempting to count sunsets had proven to be futile, she had gotten lost amidst her own exhaustion and day after day moved in a blur.

She understood their earlier restlessness, then. Without speaking a word, they had both decided that it was enough. No more.

"That doesn't answer my question," she stated, her eyes rising to meet his.

Inuyasha finally looked down at her and agreed without hesitation, "I know."

Buried in their own painful thoughts for what had felt like forever, they hadn't had a real chance to discuss what had happened. Knowing her…friend like she did, Kagome wanted to be there for him. Inuyasha was as fragile as he was strong, as kind-hearted as he was gruff. And when it came to the 'woman he had loved the most', as Kaou had put it, his shell was about as sturdy as an egg's.

"Will you walk with me?" Kagome asked softly, her fingers itching towards his but deciding against her urge to touch him.

He may have sensed their warmth, as his much bigger clawed hand wrapped around hers securely. Crouching down on one knee, he led her hand around his neck and pulled her to him. Feeling the coldness of her thighs on his palms, he leapt into a sprint, hoping to find somewhere quiet where he could light a fire to warm her up.

"This isn't walking, not even by demon standards," he heard her musing from behind his hair, her cheek resting against his shoulder.

"I'm a half-demon, wench," Inuyasha chuckled.

"That's really faulty logic."

"You came to me from the future through a magic well – you really don't wanna talk logic."

Kagome felt her lips spreading into a small smile, her heart skipping a beat at the way the half-demon had phrased her travelling through both worlds. She didn't get there from the well. She hadn't just come from the well. She had come to him.

She berated herself for letting her thoughts wander into such dangerous territory. If the conversation she was hoping to have with her beloved hanyou were to take the path she was certain it would, there was really no need for her to breathe further life into the small flame of hope still alight within her.

Coming into a small clearing near a lake, his legs slowed down to a stride before halting their movement completely. He set her down easily, watching the ground for any rocks that might make her stumble.

"Gimme a minute. I'll go get some wood."

Kagome quickly grabbed the sleeve of his haori, "No! I'm okay, really."

"What're you talkin' about? I literally just had my hands on you, and you were freezing…"

"I'm used to it. It's fine," she reassured him.

As comforting as her words sounded, Inuyasha could sense the urgency in her voice, like she was afraid he would vanish into thin air should she wait for another minute to say whatever it was she wanted to say.

He then grabbed her arms and sat her on one of the bigger boulders behind them, following the movement down with his own body and kneeling in front of her.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said, a small veil of questioning laced in his tone, as he tried to figure out whether that was what was worrying her.

Kagome looked down at the man before her, his bright honey eyes trained on hers - she was certain she didn't need a fire, looking into them was enough to warm her from the inside out. Two seconds or so had passed, and one of his calloused hands moved from her arm to her knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before he got up.

She knew he wouldn't be gone for long, but she was still squirmy. Her bow and quiver were no more than two feet away from her and she could sense no demonic presence near. No, she wasn't scared of being attacked. The chilly breeze that had started to pick up didn't bother her either, unlike what Inuyasha thought. Still, she gathered her legs up to her torso and embraced herself, her chin coming to rest on her knees.

Sighing deeply, Kagome decided she should be grateful. There she had a chance to calm herself down and collect her thoughts. She hadn't prepared what she wanted to say, she felt no need for it.

Glancing around the cozy clearing, she took her time to take the calming scenery in – the lake, the dancing foliage of the trees, the flowers. So many flowers.

One in particular caught her attention and she couldn't help but take in a sharp breath.

Bluish purple, small and delicate. A Japanese bellflower, commonly called otherwise.

'Kikyo'

"There," she was startled with Inuyasha's sudden appearance. "All better."

Looking to her left, she noticed he had already managed to light a fire and set a few logs and brunches to the side, right next to where she was sitting on the boulder.

Forehead scrunching up in a scowl, Inuyasha tried to get her attention, "Where's ya head at?"

Kagome shrugged, dismissing his question, "How are you feeling? Kaou dug a hole in your chest…"

Visibly flinching back a few inches, Inuyasha struggled to place his hands inside the large red sleeves of his haori. His mouth muttered something akin to 'keh' (or it could have been 'y-yeah', she wasn't sure) and he fidgeted from his seat on the grass.

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion (and then in understanding), Kagome sighed and climbed down from the rock, sitting right next to him where their knees could touch.

"I meant that literally, you know?" she said, carefully setting aside the red fabric to try to inspect the wound.

Inuyasha grabbed the girl's hand gently and put it down on his lap. "S'okay. Don't worry about it."

"It is not okay! You're bleeding for Kami's sak-"

"I'm used to it. It's fine," he replied cheekily, imitating her previous stance.

Huffing with annoyance at the half-demon's defiance, Kagome pulled her gelid hand back, only to feel his grip tighten the slightest but enough to keep her in place. Feeling herself tremble despite the iron grasp around her hand, she ventured her dark eyes to his, only to find him staring intently at the flames.

"Kagome, I-," he started with a soft voice, "I can't keep this up. What Kaou said back there… about you being in pain. I can't- I won't stand that," his words were murmured. "I couldn't save Kikyou's life, and that caused me a lot of pain. For some reason, I didn't want help. I thought it was something I had to go through alone. I guess I was so focused on my own suffering, I couldn't see yours. I never realized that you were in pain, just like me…"

She felt her throat constricting, her fingers that would usually be busy playing with her skirt as she tried to fight the nervousness away still in place.

"Forgive me, Kagome."

They were raw. Those words, which she wasn't all that used to hearing from the stubborn half-demon, resonated through her. It felt like he was opening the door to their usual sincere sharing - but there was more this time. A breeze washed over the clearing and although she knew it was impossible, it felt warmer. It felt right. It felt like after so long, they would be able to talk. To actually talk. No barriers, spiritual or otherwise.

"You don't have to apologize. I'm just glad you're back. I- I was frightened back there, Inuyasha. I was so, so scared…" she admitted.

"Certainly didn't seem like it," he answered light-heartedly, remembering her bravery when faced with the Flower Emperor.

She smiled shyly at his compliment and continued, "I thought I would lose you. I thought it would be, I don't know, the final straw. I had no idea where you were. Your thoughts, your concerns. I didn't know to where they had travelled for the last couple of weeks. You kept me out and as much as I lo-," she chocked on the words, "care for you, I don't trust you with thinking on your own accord."

If Inuyasha noticed the faint blush on her cheeks, he didn't say it. He did, however, frown at her last comment.

"You know what I mean… You're intelligent and very in touch with your emotions, despite what anyone might say. The problem is you have trouble vocalizing that and I very much doubt there's a small thumb-sized saint Inuyasha in your head telling you you're wrong. That you're not at fault. That every and anything that happens in the world is not your responsibility. That you're not the monster you believe yourself to be."

Kagome took a strand of midnight-black hair and tucked it behind her ear before continuing, her speech seemingly practiced.

"I guess I… I always liked being that for you. If anything, I had a part in your life. Even if I was just a klutzy teenager that couldn't shoot an arrow straight, or a student who couldn't keep up at school, or a priestess who… couldn't live up to expectations," she felt him flinch beside her, "I was useful even if it was just to remind you of the wonderful person – demon – you were. I didn't want you to think no one thought of you that way."

The half-demon sat quietly, not uttering a sound as not to disrupt her train of thought. And she was thankful, she didn't think she could continue should they start arguing as usual.

"You're really... complex. It's always been kind of fascinating to me. How many layers you have. Your values and beliefs. How strong you are for going through everything you've been through and still being the kind, self-sacrificing person you are. A half-demon whose other half must be part Kami from how good you are. I never- I didn't want for you to have to go through it all. I wish I could have shielded you from all the pain. From the abuse in your childhood, to the rejection in your adulthood. I didn't want you to lose your mother, then your father and your brother. I didn't want you to wander alone and have to fend for yourself when you were so defenseless. No one should have to go through that, much less someone as good as you," she took a deep breath before speaking again, in a small voice "I didn't want you to lose the love of your life…"

"K-Kagome-"

She looked at him then, placing two fingers on his lips to stop him.

"I really wanted to hear you. As much as it would pain me, I didn't care. I wanted to hear you cry and I wanted to hold you as you did and- I don't know, cry with you and even if you were to take days or weeks, I didn't care. I wanted to be there for you when you were ready to talk… but I guess you were never ready," she smiled sadly. "But it's… it's fair, I guess? Even though I'm your best friend and you can't take that away from me… even though you can trust me with your life, I see that I could be the last one you'd want to talk to. Not only not to hurt my feelings but because you- you… You probably think I hate her, don't you?"

Inuyasha gulped, his lips trembling as he struggled to form the words.

"I don't, Inuyasha," she added firmly, and continued with a smile as her eyes became glazed. "I have lost count of how many times I've been asked that question and I always have to think it over. Because I'm human. And it would only be right, and it doesn't make sense that I don't. But I don't. I never did. I've felt jealousy at seeing you in her embrace. I've felt resentment at watching you leave to look for her. I've felt small… for feeling these things towards someone who doesn't deserve it. But never hate…"

Kagome wiped a tear as soon as it spilled from her swollen orbs, taking her long sleeve in her hand and making a paw.

"I have come to understand it, I think. Should I read our story starting just fifty years prior, I- I'm not sure what side I'd be on, to be honest. I've put myself in her shoes, so many times I've lost count. I've imagined what it would have been like, to have lived my life as everyone expected me to, to have the duty of protecting the Shikon no Tama on my shoulders at such a young age! Imagining me, Kagome Higurashi, falling in love with you, Inuyasha, isn't difficult," she glanced at him and smiled, "it's not difficult at all… And all of a sudden, we're ripped apart. I have a bow in my hand and run to the shrine with whatever strength is left in my body from your attack. Imagine that, you attacking me! There's hatred clouding my vision, disbelief that the one person I had loved, the one half-demon half-kami that I had wanted to spend the rest of my ordinary days with, had betrayed me so brutally… So, I shoot. I pin you to the sacred tree because even then, I can't bear to kill you. How could I ever do that?

"I tried to find peace. Asked for my body to be burned with the jewel so that no more harm could come to those who might come into its possession. I would take it all. If it meant fighting demons for eternity in the netherworld or inside the jewel itself, it didn't matter. But even then, they couldn't let me be… I was brought back to life. Life, right? What a way to live…. To have to a body made of clay and soil, to have just a piece of my soul back and have to feed of those from others. It's unfair, so unfair! It used to be my soul and I can't even get it back to give me the strength I need to get through this new stage of hell forced upon me. I'm brought back to see the love of my life, my soulmate, freed from the bind I placed him in as if nothing had happened, freed by the one person who had within her what once used to be mine. Not only does she get to come from her own time into mine, but she takes my place in your heart as well…"

Kagome cried, looking Inuyasha dead in the eye. She can hear the crisp sound of crickets in the night and the moving water of a hot spring nearby.

She laughs then and takes a hand to her mouth to stop the painful sob that follows.

"Of course, that's how she sees it… I think even though we are as different as night and day, I can pride myself on being the one person that can read her the best. Yes, even better than you, Inuyasha. It's a privilege I get from being her reincarnation," Kagome clasped her hands on her skirt and continued. "I don't think I could do it. Knowing all that, and believing I'd been replaced, even though it's the farthest thing from the truth… It'd be too much. Too tragic. I'd- I would be filled with hatred, I know it. And I would walk the same path she did," she shrugged then with a smile, "even if with a little less grace."

There was a long silence before she heard a soft sound from Inuyasha. It was like he had been holding his breath for as long as she had been speaking. Turning her head forward, she noticed the fire had started to die out. When she reached to add a small twig that was next to her foot, his clawed hand clasped tightly around her wrist, turning her firmly yet gently to him.

Tilting her head up, she stared at his beautiful boyish face, contorted in pain.

"Inu-"

"Let me ask you something," his voice was hoarse, gravely. "Were you not thrown into a dangerous world of demons who wanted to kill you from day one? Wasn't it at the ripe age of 15? On your birthday, nonetheless! Weren't you entrusted with the protection of that very same fucking jewel?! Weren't you warned of the risk of never being able to see your family again or go back to your world? Didn't you keep coming back, despite the risk your life was in every single fucking day?!" his other hand helped him pull her closer without hurting her, their faces a breath apart. "Weren't you jealous when I touched her? Didn't you resent her when I went after her? Didn't you feel small for feeling all of that despite being only a small girl in a world that wasn't even yours?"

Kagome felt more hot tears streaming down her cheeks, her throat completely closed, "You- You don't-"

"Fucking tell me I don't fucking mean that, or I don't understand. Just fucking try, Kagome," he warned, a thin strip of red lining his eyes. "You've felt pain beyond imaginable, you've had to grieve friends, you've had to live believing you were on the shadow of someone who was unattainable, someone who for you to follow on the same path they had walked, you'd have to quite literally take your own life. Or let the love of your life take it for you…" he repeated the words she had used earlier. "I wish I could take it all away as well. I wish I had been born on your side of the well and that we had met under normal fucking circumstances that didn't involve me trying to kill you. I wish I didn't see you as a shadow at first and made you believe you weren't good enough. I wish I had kept my promise of never letting anything, anything at all happen to you. I wish you didn't have to go through all of that. But you did. And guessing fucking what, wench. You just fucking told me you have never felt hate. You wouldn't walk down the same fucking path had you, Kagome Higurashi, been the one sealing me to that tree because you wouldn't have done it in the first place. With grace or not. You're too fucking good and too fucking trusting and I don't deserve to have you in my life."

Kagome was unable to take her eyes from his. It was like honey melting from the sun, onto his cheeks. She really didn't need the fire to keep her warm.

"I felt helpless. I never got to grieve. Kikyou was a vengeful shell of her past self when I still loved her and when she wasn't, I loved another," he whispered, the trembling of her lips not lost on him. "You know what I really fucking wished? That fate had been kinder to our souls. That Kikyou and I had been happy, and perhaps you and whatever better version of myself is out in your world had been too. That Naraku had never hurt her, or you, or Miroku, or Sango, or Shippo, or Kaede, o Kohaku, or me. But you know, things don't always work out the way they were supposed to and maybe that's for the best. Because I don't fucking believe, for a second even, that I would ever love anyone as I love you. And maybe I'm hurting myself, but I care about right now, me and you, and my reincarnation can fuck himself, for all I care!"

They had been so close for so long, she had to close her eyes to keep from falling and from feeling his warm breath against her lips, that she didn't know at first when it started. His mouth moved urgently against hers, his hands firmly holding her to him so she wouldn't try to blabber some incoherent mess. Kagome's own small fists held tightly onto his haori, a rush of emotion so strong she didn't know what to do with pouring out of her. In her kiss, drowned in her tears that mingled with his own.

"Inu- yasha?" she whispered his name as he pulled away, his forehead against her as he breathed heavily.

"Do you love me?"

Kagome was taken aback, having trouble connecting the words he had just quietly uttered to the whole night behind them.

"What?"

"Do. You. Love. Me?" his finger moved to hold her chin to keep her from diverting her gaze from his own fiery one.

"Y-you baka! Of course, I do! What would all of this have been about then?!"

He smiled and closed his eyes, breathing in the sweet scent of cotton and raspberry that was purely her.

They stayed like that for a while, pliable in each other's arms. Forgetting the world they were in for a few minutes. Forgetting the danger, forgetting the uncertainty, forgetting the last leg of the journey still awaited them and that there were small demons and powerful demons, and flower demons at every corner ready to test their resilience.

Kagome pulled back and wiped her face before pointing ahead, "Do you know what that flower is called?"

Inuyasha nodded and caressed her face softly. He knew what she was thinking. There would be more to come, and no matter how many promises of protection he made, she was a fragile human just trying to walk gracefully down the path her ancestors laid out for her.

"We're gonna get through this. It's coming to an end, I can feel it," he grasped her arms tightly, pulling her closer to him if it was even possible. "And when it's over, I promise you Kagome, we're forever."

Kagome smiled, letting her forehead fall against his again, "That's a tough one to keep. Forever is a long time."

Inuyasha kissed her softly, lovingly holding her face in both hands. "Still not enough."

Hello guys :)

I've had this idea sitting for a while and the rainy day today put me in the mood.

I would love to hear your thoughts on it! Sharing is caring!

-SpookyNoodle