Not gonna lie, I forgot Bakugo's nicknames for everyone, and I googled these pick-up lines. Sorry.
Bakugo thought that arriving at school a half-hour before class started would guarantee him a room full of complete peace and silence. To say he had been wrong would be an understatement.
"Oi, Bakugo!" Kirishima shouts as the boy stalks straight past him, mini explosions appearing on his palms. Kaminari seems to be trying not to wet his pants as he also gives a sheepish wave. "What are you doing here so early?"
He growls and props up his math textbook as an answer. It takes the scraps of his self-restraint to not explode the most recent notes from that damned Ectoplasm's lecture. Even Yaoyorozu who was first in their studies-though he'd be shoving her out of that title soon-had been struggling with the most recent lessons. And to top it off, Ectoplasm had left the not-so-subtle threat of a pop quiz hanging above their heads.
Bakugo grit his teeth and clenched the edges of the paper, ignoring how it wrinkled the graph in front of him. He, Katsuki Bakugo, was going to be first in every single-
"So what about 'It's handy that I have my library card because I'm totally checking you out'?" Kaminari asked anxiously, nibbling at his fingertips while stray sparks shot from his hair. A couple landed on Bakugo's desk, leaving faint burnt marks against the wood. Kirishima had a serious expression frozen on his face before he eventually shook his head.
"Too basic. Try the next one."
"'Hey girl. Are you German? 'Cause I wanna be Ger-man!'" Kaminari tries, quickly searching the other boy's face. After a few moments of silence, his friend gives him a gruff nod and he throws it on the list of pick-up lines already stored on his phone.
An explosion rings out in the room and the two turn to face the boy responsible. Rage is practically seeping through Bakugo's very pores as fire appears across his body.
"Why are you bastards so fucking LOUD?!"
Kirishima, the Angry-Bakugo expert, knows better than to point out his hypocrisy and goes for a rational appeal… if there's even a rational side left in him.
"Sorry, Bakugo, I'm trying to help Kaminari come up with decent pick-up lines for Jirou." The electric boy goes for a cheeky grin in response to Bakugo's death glare, but there's sweat dripping down his face as he does so.
"Are you going to finally fucking confess, Pikachu?" he says and Kaminari nearly screams at the very thought.
"Never!" he shouts immediately, as his mind begins to map out how many ways that a confession could go wrong. Somehow, he would become an even greater laughingstock than he already is. "That's not really my style."
"Why. Are. You. Making. Pick-up. Lines. If. You're. Not. Gonna. Confess." Kaminari waves off the question with a shrug of his shoulders and stares pointedly at Bakugo.
"You know… because." Bakugo gives him a long drawn-out look in response and eventually grunts in their direction, removing a pair of wireless earbuds from his pocket.
"Just don't come back here tomorrow."
"Actually, I was thinking of doing this for the next week-" Kaminari starts before Kirishima smacks his hand against his mouth.
"Yeah, we'll find somewhere less… public to do this next time." But the gears are already starting to turn in Bakugo's mind.
The bell for lunchtime rings and most of Class 1-A begins to shuffle out the door, hopping over a passed-out Eraserhead on the way out.
Kaminari's packing his most recent doodles into his backpack when he feels a chill go through his bones and a spiky shadow appear against his desk.
"Wait," Bakugo says, one hand practically crushing his shoulder and the other gripping the sound hero next to him. The rest of their classmates pause to stare at the drama and for a split-second, it seems like Bakugo has laser vision. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL STARING AT?! GO TO LUNCH!"
With a couple of squeaks, the remainder of the class files into the hallway-a few curious students waiting just outside the doorway.
"Earphones," Bakugo starts as he stares at a more or less blank-faced Jiro. He has to give her props for that-most people would have started sobbing or crying at this point. "Pikachu likes you." She folds her arms across her chest and gives him another deadpanned look.
"I like Pikachu too," she replies evenly, and Bakugo nearly explodes the chair she's sitting on.
"You don't understand. Pikachu likes you," he tries again, frustration appearing across his features. Her eyes are just as blank, but the edges of her mouth seem to curl up just the tiniest bit.
"I know. I like Pikachu too."
"W-w-wait what?" Kaminari finally sputters after a few moments of stunned silence. "You like-like me?"
Jiro nods and tries to shrug it off like it's no big deal, but Bakugo's not blind. He sees the slight blush on her cheeks and nearly vomits at the sight. These two bastards are fucking serious?
"Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" Kaminari blurts out, and the girl in front of him practically jumps in her seat. Her earjacks click against each other-a sign he's learned to read as nervousness-and he wonders for a split-second if he'd gone too far.
"C-Can I think about it?" she mumbles quietly and he nods his head furiously, scared that this is just another dream he'll wake up from. Bakugo looks in utter disgust from one to the other and eventually throws his hands up in the air before walking straight out of the classroom, his job done-for better or for worse.
It pays off though because the next day, Kaminari and Jiro are the new official couple and Bakugo has a nice, silent study room all to himself.