Notes: this is a song parody and is by no means meant to be taken seriously in any way, shape, or form; it merely turns out that self-imposed self-isolation activated a comedy sleeper agent in my muse.
My sincere apologies to Rick Astley, but if this brings a smile to anyone's face in these uncertain times, then I will consider it a success.
We're no strangers to war.
We want to leave; it's all so hard.
We're here and home seems just so very far.
You're just the prisoners, and I am just a guard.
But I know there's monkey business here and
Nothing is what I will see—
Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna turn you in,
Never gonna tell old Klink and report you.
Never gonna see a thing,
Never gonna hear a thing,
Never gonna know a thing about you.
Deep in the barracks, you go on.
You're all still soldiers and you're all proud to know it.
Inside the tunnels, you all carry on.
You'll make the strudel, and I will eat it.
And if they ask me if I know it,
I'll tell them I'm too blind to see.
Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna turn you in,
Never gonna tell old Klink and report you.
Never gonna see a thing,
Never gonna hear a thing,
Never gonna know a thing about you.
Burkhalter orders us around,
Hochstetter searches and he suspects, I know it.
No matter what, your secret's safe with me.
This is a war, and I hope you end it.
Yes, I know there's monkey business here and
Nothing is what I will see—
Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna turn you in,
Never gonna tell old Klink and report you.
Never gonna see a thing,
Never gonna hear a thing,
Never gonna know a thing about you.