15

Finite

Planet Id was like any other gamer's planet in the OASIS. The planet, split in half, had a bright, happy-go-lucky appearance on the left. Considered to be the family-friendly part of the planet, users could drop off there and go through Commander Keen style levels. That part of the planet gave bonuses in acrobatics as players would go through complete remakes of the games, taking down Vorticons on that version of mars. Meanwhile, on the right part of the planet, hell awaited those who traversed.

Once in one of the teleportation bays, I had met a family. The mother and father were going on a getaway to Planet Id with their son, who took on the appearance of an elf. It was before I had a job coding new planets, yet I knew what planet Id was. I had stopped them, asking what they were thinking.

"Calm down, default," the father said, "We're dropping him off in the Commander Keen section. Me and the misses are going to go play Doom."

Id was a planet composed of completely remade games made by Id software, now under Bethesda Softworks. The thing about it was that they knew players didn't want to play Doom or Wolfenstein in updated, Oasis-level graphics, they wanted their players to experience the old, original version from the nineties. Quake was also available for a multiplayer, tournament game. But better tournaments existed elsewhere.

It was amped up in difficulty, of course. Hitler was a lot harder to kill, and taking down a spiderdemon was nigh impossible. But upon defeating the final bosses in any game, you were guaranteed at least one item from said game. It was always random, but it was always cheap. The amount of mecha-Hitler-melting statues I had received could become a whole room in my ship, and while the occasional super shotgun I'd receive was cool, I was pining for an artifact:

The BFG 9000 - The Big Fucking Gun. With forty shots per round, this gun can take down anything in its path with ease. It melts demons, it could even melt humans. It causes between a hundred to eight hundred points of damage, and is reloadable.

Now, there's a chance another person has this artifact, yet those chances are so low, and I believe one could obtain it as many times as they want because of all the different Doom releases that have come out. Hell, Id has the player-made mods in here too. With retextures, new models, at least like, 100 people could get this item. Yet the chances were low. So fucking low.

While the Gunters inched closer and closer (that fucking Parzival man) to earning that Egg, I realized I would be entering a game way too late. Besides, I can't give a shit about Halliday. He was just a Wozniak-type, and who cares about Wozniak?

So the ones that would truly want to visit Id were distracted by their searching, doing the Flicksyncs and constantly debating the newest poem. I really could artifact search in peace.

Which really just led me to doing the same 1993 original game over and over. I lost count in the fifties. I had perfected a certain movement I could do to take down the Spiderdemon. Hell, I started livestreaming my shit on Twitch to a whopping one viewer. I had mastered the speedrun techniques to beat the 4 episodes, and I would always grab the BFG on E3M3: Pandemonium.

Doom and other single-player games on Id always worked in an instanced state up until the last couple levels, in which PvP was enabled. I had trouble in the past of having to fight my way through some other players to get to the spider-demon by myself, but this whole hunt led to a halt in such matters.

On this attempt, I reached Pandemonium and navigated to where the BFG was hidden. It was in this little maze, full of hovering flaming skulls and demons. There was blood and lava all amongst the floor, and one had to act accordingly to dodge the pixelated, 2D flaming liquid. Doom was interesting in the fact that I couldn't look up or down. I could look straight, left or right, walk or run, but I could not look up or down. This, Doom 2, and Wolfenstein had it set that way. Everything was 16-32 bit. I could aim down a 3D chunky model, and when I had no weapons, my fists were clunky, pixelated hands.

I paused when I looked at the BFG. It was there, but I couldn't keep it. And, for once, on all of these speedruns and playthroughs, I turned around and walked off. I could use a shotgun well enough, If I kept my distance with a plasma gun or chain gun I was nigh-unstoppable. I just wondered if this attempt would be any different.

The speedrun went through with relative ease up until I reached the Spiderdemon. I walked down the hallway until I reached the door, grabbing the rocket launcher. On the perimeter was a lot of rocket launcher ammo, so I sped through the side, navigating and getting a feel for what I was getting myself into.

The Cacodemons were already on me.

They're these demonic red creatures, the mascots of Doom next to the Doom Slayer himself. And they're tough. Holy fuck, they're hard.

Like, they can shoot from long range and drain your health fast. I was already at 32% by the time I got down to the spider demon. In the middle of the arena is a shelter of sorts. One could go back and forth through the door frames, firing their plasma cannons and rocket launchers. The spiderdemon itself, with its big brain head and robotic legs moves back and forth, trying to kill you.

Unlike the original Doom, OASIS Doom lets you carry your weapons to the next level. I would typically save my BFG for this fight, yet here I was, BFG-less. With the BFG, it would've taken ten, twelve hits and this thing would've been toast. But as I strafed with a plasma gun and rocket launcher, it took all my plasma fire and six rocket launcher shots to defeat him.

My screen faded to black. The music played and in red text the words: "The loathsome spiderdemon that masterminded the invasion of the moon bases and caused so much death has had its ass kicked for all time. A hidden doorway opens and you enter. You've proven yourself too tough for hell to contain, and now hell at last plays fair - for you emerge from the door to see the green fields of earth! Home at last.

"You wonder what's been happening on earth while you were battling evil unleashed. It's good that no hell-spawn could have come through that door with you."

The screen shows a landscape, Doom Guy's pet bunny, Daisy, sits and eats grass. Happy music plays as you can turn and look to the side, seeing a city on fire. Daisy is then decapitated, and THE END Appears.

Upon removing the rabbit's head from your fist, the weapon or toy will fall from it. That's your reward.

It took some struggle, but I finally pulled out of Daisy's poor throat, a gruesome muppet of my accidental design, and out falls a huge gun.

A big fucking gun.

The Big Fucking Gun.

I nearly removed my headset in shock. I bent down to pick it up, and instantly it shrunk and was in my inventory.

Holy fuck. The PvP tournaments won't know what will hit them. I warped myself back up to my ship and sat back in the cockpit.

My ship was a recreation of the Bebop from Cowboy Bebop. With six rooms, a bathroom, a living room, and a hangar, I made this place my own house. One of the rooms was used to showcase my artifacts, another was a walk-in closet. My bedroom was clunky, like a prisoner's.

The BFG was neatly placed onto my armory wall, and I put my hands on my waist, admiring the items I had garnered. I owned four artifacts now (including my BFG). They were artifacts people didn't really want, but I had recovered each of them on my own through different missions. The rest of the items weren't exactly artifacts but they were rare enough items to be in the room amongst them.

The first artifact I ever earned was the Super Energy Pill. Hidden in a ring with a U on it, the pill would replenish after twenty five days. I did a quest on National Broadcasting Company planet. It was so hidden, the whole planet was for both news on the national and local level, but hidden amongst these islands was an island called Capital City. Upon getting my shoes cleaned by Shoeshine, this little man who runs a shoeshining business, he slipped a ring into my hand when he gave the change. The ring holds the Super Energy Pill, but I have to say a passphrase to truly work it after I swallow it. I don't know what it does.

When I visited planet Matson about a year ago, I managed to find a really obscure toy there, surrounded by Barbies and He-man figurines. Filled to the brim with little guys of the same shape, I figured that these shits were just the precursor to Funko POP! Figures. Each had a different design on it, but with the same hunchback, simplistic design, and these two little "ears" at the top. I only took this thing because there was one based off of my favorite character ever, Racer X.

Turns out, I had recovered a relic, a type of artifact based off of old toys. The Relic, called a UB Funkey, was a one time use throwable, each throwable with a different ability. They were "random" in the sense that no one knew exactly what they were getting into. Upon realizing what I just got my hands on, I teleported out of Matson and put these up for safe keeping.

Planet Zen is meant to be the planet to find peace and comfort in your daily lives. It is not the place you'd go to recover a harmful artifact, which is ironic. On Planet Zen, one could participate in Yoga classes, nature walks, or painting. While people use the happy forests to walk and breathe, which is what I was using it for after losing in a gladiatorial bout, I came across a shack off the beaten path. A young man, dressed in blue and with an afro (labelled as INSTRUCTOR NPC) asked me to join in him in "the joy of painting."

When we had painted five or six works, I was left soothed by his voice, and he gave me "Ross' gift," an artifact that's just a palette with Phthalo Blue, Van Dyke Brown, Titanium White, Sap Green, and Alizarin Crimson, along with a canvas and easel. Those paintings are all placed on my ship.

On Disney World, I managed to complete a set of quests based on the Kingdom Hearts Franchise, which, when I was younger, was my favorite game series. So, my go to melee weapon is a keyblade, and now my go to range is my BFG. The keyblade isn't an artifact, sadly. It's so common. But the One Winged Angel Keyblade I have is useful in a tight situation.

On Planet Steam, I managed to go through GLaDOS' perilous Portal Gun tests and earned myself a Portal Gun of my own. At a car dealership I managed to buy a recreation of Racer X's car, the Shooting Star. Decked with all the upgrades to Speed's car in the show, my Shooting Star could jump, use saws, go anti-gravity and more.

When I took a step back and admired all of my stuff, an Email notification appeared in my bar.

Parzival.

That gunter has been making the rounds when he didn't deserve it. He didn't earn any money except through sponsorships with his Parzival-approved pizzas and haptics. It was bullshit. Why is he always on the news? Because him and his Gunter Clan go around completing tasks because they love a man so much?

It's so unwarranted, the whole Halliday contest. People that should own a company are the ones that know how to run a company. If these "Halliday Scholars" and gunters want to take up a hobby and if they truly want to win this, they should learn the ins and outs of all the different levels of business.

I don't care, though. I have a job coding. I'm fine where I am. Work a few more years and I bet I'll get promoted.

For shits and giggles, I opened the email and read the text:

"Fellow gunters,

It is a dark day. After years of deception, exploitation, and knavery, the Sixers have finally managed to buy and cheat their way to the entrance of the Third Gate.

As you know, IOI has barricaded Castle Anorak in an attempt to prevent anyone else from reaching the egg. We've also learned that they've used illegal methods to uncover the identities of gunters they consider a threat, with the intention of abducting and murdering them. If gunters around the world don't join forces to stop the Sixers, they will reach the egg and win the contest. And then the OASIS will fall under IOI's imperialist rule. The time is now. Our assault on the Sixer army will begin tomorrow at noon, OST.

Join us!

Sincerely,

Aech, Art3mis, Parzival, and Shoto"

It was late on my side of the world, and I sat back to strongly consider this proposition.

I'm not a gunter. First of all, Parzival, you got that wrong. I don't give a shit about this. But a battle on Chthonia? That's unmissable. And especially against IOI, while I hate the idea of a random anybody winning the egg, I also hate the idea of a conglomerate wishing to fill it with advertisements too. They also had apparently killed one of the high five, Daito. That's eff'd. Second of all, the hell is "knavery?"

I was in Sector 11. Chthonia was in sector 10. If I flew directly there, dodging the magical planets so I wouldn't have to do a ship repair quest, I would be there by 10 AM OST. In a moment of standstill, I felt a wave of exhaustion hit me. I would just sleep in my headset, as Bloomington didn't have much to look at from my apartment window.

I marked Chthonia on my map, set a course for autopilot, and I physically laid in my bed that rose from the floor when I moved to my room in game.

Listen, I come from a rich household. My dad worked for Gregarious games. I had a good enough loan to make my house smart.

As I laid in my bed, I decided that I would fly in on this ship, and I'd use the ship's teleporter if I needed to retreat. I had sorted out my plan, all of my artifacts would be used. I mean, I'll combat IOI, but I also wanted to get some gold while I was doing it.

I couldn't help but wonder what Parzival was doing. I mean, does he sleep like a baby when tomorrow comes? I hoped that he laid in his bed, tossing and turning because tomorrow will be the most risky day of his life. He's going to come in, garbed in badass gear like some douche that thinks he deserves the world, I just know it.

I eventually drifted to sleep, only to be woken by my alarms going off in the Bebop.

We were there.

Entering Chthonia was like trying to dodge a meteor field. Ships were lined in weird formations, huge clans sat tall.

"Finite, you have reached Chthonia." The Bebop's Navigator told me. I had purchased a voice synthesizer that sounded like the Quadraplex T-3000 Computer.

Finite. That was the name I chose for myself when I got this game. GSS would always advertise that the possibilities in the OASIS were infinite. I couldn't help but feel that at some point all this would be cut short. It was finite. And so, that was my username.

"Thank you, Computress."

"No problem. The current population of Chthonia is high."

"I can... see that."

I walked into my armory, equipping myself with my regular clothes, a green jacket with a red star in the middle, the collar pumped up. My hair was neatly combed to the left. My armor was put underneath, hidden, as I like my character's appearance more in this than in heavy metal boots. I equipped my BFG, my keyblade, and the UB Funkeys. Then, I grabbed Ross' gift, and I wore the ring that carried the Super Energy Pill. For safe measure, I also took the portal gun.

I walked out onto my ship's hangar, the Shooting Star waiting for me. I tightened my ring, and I stared out onto Castle Anorak.

IOI had put a forcefield around it. Actually, upon further inspection, the Orb of Osuvox was being used to protect the castle. It was impenetrable unless you were already inside the forcefield. Someone, just for laughs, dropped a Fallout-style megaton bomb on it.

It made an explosion that enveloped the field, and left the castle untouched.

By 11:30, four giant robots landed in front of Castle Anorak. I don't know who they were, like, I think one was a Gundam? Another was Raideen, I know that for sure. The other two I couldn't pin, I had only watched I just stood on my ledge, arms folded, waiting for the conflict to begin.

A person walked out of Castle Anorak. His arms were wide open, and it was clear he was in typical IOI uniform - that is, the blue shirt and the gold epaulets. His hair was blonde, but he was just a dot.

From the castle was his audible voice. I believe it was Nolan Sorrento.

"Welcome to Castle Anorak," Sorrento said. "We've been expecting you." He waved to us, and we started to curse at him. I just stood in silence. I could've swore he looked at me for a moment. I don't know, wishful thinking I suppose. "I must say, we are a bit surprised so many of you showed up here today. By now it must be obvious, to even the most ignorant among you, that nothing can get past our shield.

The screams got louder and louder. But the voice of Parzival came from the red and yellow chunky robot, "You're wrong Sorrento, We're coming in. At noon. All of us."

Cheers and hurrahs were heard from all. To the left of me, hovering in the air, was a powerpuff girl dynamo, the giant robot used in one episode to fight a giant pufferfish. She was pumping her fists in the air.

She was also very much manmade. Unlike the robots the high four were using, Dynamo stood on man made scraps, and looked very rough with the paint and stuff.

We couldn't hear what Sorrento said, but when Mechagodzilla grew, Dynamo stopped cheering, and only one word fell from her mouth, a gruff "God."

Sorrento entered the mech and it erupted in a roar. A few more robots activated behind him, some to form Voltron, and some from I think Evangelion, I don't know, don't care. Just some big robots.

By Noon, we saw the explosion in Anorak, and the blinding light subsided. The shield was down, and then the IOI workers started running out.

The mechs started to fight one another, and now the fight had truly begun.

Dynamo tried taking part in the action, trying to land a blow on the Mechagodzilla. Swiftly under Mechagodzilla's jaws the powerpuff girl was crushed, reduced to coins.

I entered Shooting Star, told my computer to fire up the teleporter in case things got shitty, and I drove off the end of my hangar. Instantly, my Shooting Star activated a glider, and I flew down into the action.

The robots casted a large shadow upon us, all fighting one another, and then focusing on MechaGodzilla. On the ground, IOI workers drove out in large flanks, some on foot, others in tanks.

"Take down those sixers, Shooting Star!" Someone yelled from their Metal Gear.

I activated the saw blades on my car, driving into an incoming group, swerving around, and driving back. Bullet fire rained on my car. My yellow and black was being riddled with holes, and I kept swerving to dodge any extras.

The wheels were bullet proof, but they weren't magic proof.

Some "Sixer" as these gunters called them had casted a spell to make my car's tire roll off. IN a panic, my car started to swerve, and I had to dive out to save my own ass. Troops of Gunters fired upon the robots besides Mechagodzilla, so I took part in my own way.

Dashing for cover under a trench of sorts, I opened up Ross' gift.

In my hand, the palette appeared with the different colors. On my canvas was Anorak's castle, and the approaching forces.

How did that spell go again? I asked. I started to paint on the ground.

"So we're going to start with some happy little trees." I said slowly, each word being announced. Some gunters came down and yelled "The hell are you doing?"

And I sighed and said, "painting."

I heard fire on both sides as I continued to paint, "Next, we're going to paint a mountain, using a mixture of titanium white and Van Dyke Brown." As I painted to mountains, I knew I was approaching the end of the spell.

"And all we need to do is a little bush at the bottom," I said as I used sap green and Van Dyke brown together, "and shoot, I think we're finished painting. With that, I'm going to wish you happy painting, and god bless my friend, I'll see you next show." I waved my fingers up and down.

As I peaked my head over the trench, I saw as my bush appeared first. It magically appeared in front of me. Just a pop in. Then came the mountain, popping and rising up onto the foot of the purple evangelion robot, making it trip and fall. Another mountain appeared right where its head should be was crushed. The robots didn't get to form Voltron as two out of the five were defeated. A tree rose in the lone battlefield, only to be crushed by mechagodzilla.

I placed my painting in my inventory and put all my tools away, and with that the mountains and one lone bush was gone.

I leaped out of the trench now, taking a shot in the arm. A sixer was next to me firing aimlessly towards me. I unsheathed my keyblade and locked it right into his chest.

Upon removal, the sixer died, and with that left all of his loot. I picked up his coins and left the stuff for other users.

Some tanks encroached upon a small army of sonic hedgehog Original Characters. Creatures with the tail of a pikachu and the body of a hedgehog, or a heavy metal purple echidna. They were all sent back by a blast, so I took out one of my UB funkeys, a green guy with white eyes, and an atom on his forehead. I tossed it at one of the tanks, latching on, and suddenly, the tanks all hovered in the air, being abducted by some unknown force.

The Sonic OCs gave me a thumbs up collectively, yelling "nice!" Only to dash off and continue fighting.

I fired a few potshots at the Mechagodzilla with my BFG. It burnt little holes into the crotch region of the monster. One of the robots was destroyed by the lighting firing out of the metal dragon's mouth, which makes me ask if I was at fault.

That was Shoto. His name disappeared from the leaderboard.

Then, Parzival's waist was cut in half, and everything happened so fast that even the sixers paused in their fight.

I needed some more credits, though.

In a large group of about twenty, some sixers stood around holding their weapons and watched as Parzival transformed into fucking Ultraman. Ultraman. I took out my portal gun and fired one portal at their feet. I aimed another portal at one of Chthonia's perpetual moons, and fired. In a few seconds it made a little blink, the portals opened and they were all sucked in with loud suffocating screams. I closed that portal quickly before I myself would be sucked in too.

Ultraman and Mechagodzilla started fighting, punching and thrashing. With Sorrento on the ground, it ejected, and Ultraman fired his beam. The crowd cheered as Sorrento was now dead.

Parzival shrunk down and entered the castle, a place we couldn't go to as the sixers continued to fight.

I took out my ring, popped open the pill and begun to say, "When criminals in this world appear and break the laws that they should fear and frighten all who see or hear the cry goes up both far and near for Underdog!" In the background, an audible chorus was heard of the "Oooh wa oooh wa oooh" and the chorus spiked as I swallowed the pill, gaining the ability to fly and immense strength. I took out my keyblade and begun to attack.

"Is that a bird?" I heard a sixer ask.

"No, it's a plane!" another said as he fired at me.

"It's a frog!" The last one yelled. They were taken down swiftly, and in a quick moment, the Sixers were essentially all down and it seemed like some war I didn't care about was over.

And then we all died.

It was explained in the news that IOI had launched a last ditch effort using an artifact called a cataclyst. I had lost all of my loot, everything I worked to build. It killed everyone in all of Sector 10.

And I fucking raged.

I removed my headset and screamed in my apartment. The whole city of bloomington was pissed. All of our hard effort, gone.

Then it hit me. Most of the OASIS was in Sector 10. This shit was just a hard reset. And fuck, I'm pissed.

What pissed me off more was somehow Parzival survived. In fact, I didn't even watch the livestreams, but that dude survived long enough to win. Wade Watts, some nobody from the Stacks won. I didn't try, but fuck.

All of the stuff I worked years to get. All of my effort. It's all finite.