Prologue
He leaned back against the wall, grateful for its support as he fingered the familar gold badge and the I.D. wallet that he held in his hand, his fingers avoiding the sticky, burgundy stain that marred the I.D's photo. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cold wall behind him, unable to stop the tear that rolled down his cheeks or stop the soft sob that escaped from his lips.
He could still the look of disbelief and surprise on Danny's face as he turned back towards him and slowly looked down, blinking in amazement at the red stain spreading quickly across the front of his shirt before he looked back up at him with a confused look on his face. Danny's lips moved wordlessly asking him 'Why?' before his eyes rolled back in his head and his legs gave out from under him, toppling him heavily to the ground.
He could not remember dropping his gun or even running the few feet that separated them, but he did remember placing his shaking hand against the side of his partner's neck and the soft prayer of thanks he had whispered through his own shocked lips as he felt a weak pulse drum under his fingertips. He could still hear his own softly whispered words begging for his forgiveness as he tore open Danny's blood soaked shirt, exposing the jagged bullet wound beneath. He choked on a sob as he remembered seeing the damage the bullet had caused … his bullet…He could still feel the blood as it trickled through his fingers as he tried hard to stem the bleeding and he could see Danny's blue tinged lips as Danny fought hard for every small breath he took.
"Steve!"
He jumped as he heard his name called and reluctantly pushed himself away from the support of the wall as Chin and Lou hurried down the corridor to where he was waiting.
"Any word yet?" Lou asked as he looked towards the closed operating room doors.
He shook his head, not yet trusting his voice to answer.
"What happened, Steve?" Chin probed gently.
"I…I shot him." Steve gasped as the reality of just what he had done sunk in as he looked back at the operating room where he knew the surgeons were now battling hard to save the life of his closest friend. He was unable to stop the sob that tore from his throat or the tears that now rolled freely down his face as he looked back at Chin and whispered brokenly, "Oh God, Chin, I shot Danny!"