Hi everyone, so here is the new fic I have mentioned a few times. I wasn't planning on getting the first chapter out to you guys as soon as this, but I've managed to write quite a bit over the past few days. I will probably be updating once every two days or so, as long as everything goes to plan.

The idea for this story came about quite a while ago, when I was re-watching series 4 episode 9 (the one after Maxine's death when Rachel is thinking about resigning)… and anyway, the conversation between Eddie and the therapist that featured in that episode (I believe her name was Charlotte) got me thinking and kind of set me off with writing this.

I hope you guys enjoy it, and as ever, I will be grateful for any opinions :) x

Chapter 1: A Reminder Rather Than a Realisation

They had been discussing his upcoming marriage to Melissa, how he should take control of the situation. Somehow though, Charlotte's words had magnetised Eddie's mind towards somebody else entirely. The one woman he couldn't seem to shake his feelings for, and frankly, Eddie didn't necessarily want to.

Rachel Mason. He was supposed to be marrying her sister sometime in the near future, and yet, Eddie couldn't help but compare the two siblings. Although true, it had become increasingly hard to admit, even to himself - he doesn't love Melissa, he just didn't want to be alone anymore. In recent months, it has become apparent that Rachel is the only one he is capable of loving.

On the first day of term, Eddie's heart had shattered when she had turned him down. Now, he acknowledged that his timing was completely off kilter, Eddie should have waited until the moment was right. Still, he could comprehend why he had rushed into things. When Rachel was strewn seemingly lifeless in a hospital bed, Eddie had made a vow to himself. He promised that as soon as Rachel woke up, his feelings would be brought to light. Nothing hurt more than the possibility of Rachel not surviving the fire, and leaving this world unaware of the true extent regarding his love for her.

Even more harrowing, was the expression that clouded Rachel's features upon seeing his reaction to her scar. Immediately after averting his gaze, pangs of conscience settled in the pit of Eddie's stomach. Evidently, Rachel saw his response as disgust, it was clear she believed that he couldn't bear to look at her damaged skin. Of course, that was far from the truth. When Eddie witnessed the burn, a surge of emotions had come crashing down on him, these thoughts almost forced him to glance away, to compose himself and fight back the imminent tears. Knowing the way Rachel's mind worked; she would see herself as ugly, worthless and someone who deserves nothing more than to be discarded like a piece of rubbish. So the salty residue that formed in his orbs, were tears of sadness and sorrow. Not only that though, tears of red hot anger directed at Stuart Hordley; for tearing Rachel's livelihood apart.

A painful thought had occurred to Eddie, what if Rachel simply didn't feel the same? No, he couldn't think like that. Eddie wasn't a deluded man - before the fire, he and Rachel had been getting close. And if it wasn't for Hordley's actions and Rachel's injuries, they would have gone out for the drink which was planned, and that would have been the start of what Eddie knew could be a fantastic relationship. So putting aside his doubts, Eddie focused on more rational thoughts; Rachel just hadn't been ready to take that next step with him. After suffering life changing injuries, of course their potential relationship wouldn't have been at the forefront of her mind. At the time, not allowing Rachel to heal before he admitted his feelings was Eddie's biggest regret. With more recent occurrences though, Eddie held far more remorseful actions to consider.

At the beginning of his relationship with Melissa, an irrational decision had been made; somewhere in Eddie's thought process, a voice said that Mel could partially fill the hole in his heart, a gulf created by Rachel's initial rejection. Of course, once again he couldn't have been further from the truth; if anything, his relationship with Melissa had caused the hole to become even more substantial. In the depths of Eddie's mind it sounded clichéd, like some sort of an excuse. Speaking the truth though, would be to say that Melissa was just there. She was easy to talk to, and for a split second, she had taken Eddie's mind off the love of his life. He guessed you could call it the wrong place, wrong time.

"It's easy to feel like you've lost control."

The counsellor's utterances swam around in Eddie's brain, restraining him to think about nothing other than Rachel. Seemingly, that didn't exactly differ from his normal state of mind. Eddie had lost control, that was another thing more than evident. When he proposed to Mel, it felt as if some kind of superior force was overruling him, tarnishing his ability to make decisions. Why did he do it? To provoke a reaction from Rachel? Make her see sense? It was unclear. Eddie's vision had been clouded by his jurisdiction that was rapidly spiralling out of control. Apparently, much like everything else enclosed in his current circumstances.

"Events are running you and not the other way round."

Highlighting the facts for Eddie, he found himself relating to everything Charlotte was saying. Although, he imagined that it wasn't in a way which she would expect. The woman's second comment had linked to her prior statement perfectly - Eddie felt suffocated by recent events; they had taken over both his mind and his body. The way Rachel had pushed him away on the first day of term, took over Eddie's existence like it was some form of infection. From then on, it dominated his brain, and affected his usually sensible and loving way of thinking (especially where Rachel herself was concerned). On top of this, once more Eddie sensed a familiar pool of sickness forming in his stomach, upon pondering his proposal to Melissa. That particular event was a phenomenon Eddie would certainly never forgive himself for.

For now though, a more prominent occurrence was overpowering Eddie's every breath: Rachel's resignation, with immediate effect as she had put it. He couldn't bear the fact that if she left as planned, he would no longer see her every day, he wouldn't be surrounded by her presence, in the office or in the staff room. Even though, to Eddie's regret, a lot of his current time had been snatched away by numerous encounters with Melissa, it would be difficult to live without those precious moments he shared with Rachel. His mind was overflowing with musings about his love for her constantly, and it seemed part of that now, was to do everything in his power to stop her rash decision of resignation.

"Make people dance to your tune"

Yes, Charlotte had put it perfectly. In fact, that was exactly what Eddie intended to do. In the privacy of his classroom, he set out a plan of action, means of which he could get Rachel to backtrack on an evidently life changing decision. It wasn't just her job she was throwing away either, Rachel remarked upon leaving teaching altogether. A fresh start.

In the midst of his recurring thoughts, Eddie had decided that her influence on the students was far too exceptional to just discard without persuasion. Eddie had to make her see sense, and open her eyes to the fact that the pupils at Waterloo Road need her, the staff need her, he needs her. Of course, the niggling notion which was currently attacking Eddie's mindset couldn't be ignored either. Deep down, he knew this wasn't just about Rachel's resignation. No, Charlotte's comments had made Eddie realise a lot more than that. It was time to act on his ever growing love and desire for Rachel. He had spent enough time hiding, and shying away from the consequences of his actions. Eddie needed Rachel just as much as the school needed her.

Extending Charlotte's metaphor, it was time to face the music. Time to make people dance to his tune. Finalising his thoughts, Eddie decided that there was only one way forward - his relationship with Melissa had to end. His connection to her was a ticking time bomb, one that was already destructive prior to exploding. With Melissa, and without Rachel, Eddie gathered that it wouldn't be long before his own life was torn to shreds. So, accepting that his year 11 mocks wouldn't be getting marked any time soon, Eddie set out to find Melissa and bring this imploding mess to a standstill.