Telling You
I knew I was in love with Chloe since college but I never truly admitted it to myself until recently. I always told myself I was straight and it was just an innocent crush. It wasn't until recently I decided I couldn't deny it anymore causing me to breakup with Jesse. I knew it wasn't fair to Jesse or me to continue dating him when I knew I wasn't in love with him. Chloe was worried and has been wanting to know what happened. I knew I couldn't tell her why I really broke up with him. After the break up I decided to start a journal to try to gather my thoughts and feeling. Some days the journaling seemed to help and other not so much. I had been spending more time writing in my journal since we started the USO tour than I ever had before. I thought when Aubrey convinced us to go on this USO tour I would get to spend more time with Chloe. I even thought I might get the courage to tell her how I felt. It didn't take long for me to realize that wasn't going to be happening. It seemed as soon as we stepped off the plane Chloe was enamored by Chicago. Chloe seemed to spend every bit of our free time with him. I ventured out with the other Bella's once in a while but most of my time was spent alone sitting on motel room beds writing in my journal.
I was kind of shocked when I found out DJ Khaled didn't pick the Bella's but had chosen me. The Bella's had become my family there was no way I could accept. Honestly, I just went along with this tour just to spend more time with Chloe and the rest of the Bella's. I had only performed as a group with the Bella's never by myself. We started this together and we were going to finish together.
I was so scared when I found out the Bella's had been kidnapped by Fat Amy's dad. I was mostly scared because I didn't know what I would do if something happened to her. Thankfully with the help of Fat Amy we were able to rescue the girls. After realizing I could have lost her, I actually thought about telling Chloe about my feelings. Just as I was going to pull her aside to talk to her Chicago showed up pulling her into a hug. "Are you okay Chloe? When I found out what happened I was so worried about you." All of the Bella's found this site adorable everyone but me. Chicago had finally saw for himself that Chloe was okay and left us Bella's alone. We all were sitting together when Fat Amy let the cat out of the bag about DJ Khaled selecting me and not the Bella's. The Bella's all convinced me to take this opportunity.
When I took the stage, I was nervous at first because I had only performed with the Bella's. After a while the nerves started going away as I got more into my performance. I even decided to get the Bella's involved and pulled them on stage for one last performance. I was so excited as I left the stage to meet up with the girls. After I turned the corner from the stage, I saw Chloe kissing Chicago. I realized that I was too late. I snuck back to our motel room after the performance before anyone had known I left. I was sitting on the motel bed once again writing in my journal only this time about what I thought were now unrequited feelings. I heard Chloe enter our shared motel room. "Hey Beca. I'm going to go out for a while with Chicago and will be back later. Beca are you listening to me. Hey are you okay Beca." I was still sitting and writing in my journal while Chloe was talking, I really wasn't paying any attention to what she was saying. "Yeah I uh think I'm just going to go for a walk." I sat my journal back on the bed and made a bee line for the door. I walked around the area with no particular destination in mind just lost in my own thoughts. I eventually glanced down at my phone realizing that it was getting late and I should get back to the room. I just hope Chloe had gotten back from being with Chicago and was already asleep.
I opened the room door with my key card and slowly opened the door hoping to not wake a sleeping Chloe. Instead when I opened the door, I was met with Chloe's face staring back at me. I could tell from her expression that she was mad at me about something but I didn't know what. Then I saw that my opened journal now was sitting on her bed. I realized in my haste to get out of the room I had left my journal open and sitting on my bed when I left. I looked back to see Chloe's frown before she started yelling at me. "Yea I saw it if that's what you are worried about. Just so you know it wasn't intentional it was just sitting out in the open on your bed. Were you ever going to tell me? Do you know how long I waited to hear that you had feelings for me? I have been waiting years for you. I kept dropping hints to you but you never picked up on them or showed any interest. So, I decided I should move on and it has taken me a while but I finally am. That's what I'm doing with Chicago. I really am sorry I really wish you would have told me all of this sooner" I looked at her with tears in my eyes. "I was actually going to tell you on this trip. You were one of the only reasons I even agreed to do this tour. I was going to tell you the truth about what happened between Jesse and I. Then I saw how enamored you were with Chicago the minute we landed. I never really got the chance because the two of you were always off doing something together. Then I realized I couldn't come between the two of you. I think it might be a good idea actually if I maybe stay with Amy until we fly back." Chloe gave me a look full of pity. "I think that might be a good idea Beca." Chloe stood there watching me as I hastily shoved all of my belongings into my bags and suitcase not really caring just wanting to get out of the room as fast as possible.
What Chloe didn't know is I didn't go to Amy's room. I actually called a cab to take me to a different motel to get a room for the night. I knew it was going to be busy night when I entered the room and flipped the light switch on. I just plopped all of my belongings down on the bed. I pulled my laptop out of the bag placing it on the desk in the room. I let out a sigh as I sat in the computer chair scooting myself closer to the desk. All I knew was that I wanted to leave here and get back home as soon as possible so I started researching the soonest flights out of here. Once I found what I was looking for I purchased the ticket without a second thought. The next part was going to be a lot harder. I knew I needed to move out of our shared apartment. I realized it was never going to be the same after we got back. I thought it was best to be moved out before Chloe got back. I had found several listings close to some studios on the other side of the state. I decided it was best to put some distance between us. DJ Khaled and I had already discussed the flexibility on which studio I wanted to use to release my solo album. When I finished, I shut the laptop lid and plopped on the bed fully clothed not bothering to change. I wasn't able to sleep even though I had an early morning flight out.
I had checked my bags and luggage in at the airport and was sitting in the chairs waiting for my flight. I made several calls one to a storage facility that would store my belongings until I had moved into my new apartment. I had gotten lucky a storage unit was empty and immediately available. The moving company I called told me they could be ready to move my things to the storage unit to tomorrow. I glanced at my phone that had several missed calls, voice mails, and text messages from the Bella's. I had ignored them all but read one from Amy. I did reply to Amy's message before turning my phone off.
AMY: Beca I have an idea on what possibly happened last night. Don't worry no one else knows. Please promise me you will let me know you are safe.
BECA: I'm safe.
Once the flight landed, I caught a cab to take me to the apartment. As I entered, I took a minute to try to memorize everything knowing this would be the last time I was here. I was in tears as I started packing things in boxes. I found the framed photo Chloe had given me of us as co captains my senior year at Barden. I picked it up and placed it on the dining room table where I had left my key for the apartment. I knew after everything I couldn't handle keeping it. After I had finished packing, I spent my last night in the apartment curled up on the couch watching the hours ticking by on the clock.
Before the movers arrived, I sat down at the dining room table and wrote Chloe a letter. I placed the sealed envelope with Chloe's name on the front next to the framed photo and apartment key. The movers had arrived and had already placed all of my boxes in the moving van. I took one last look at the apartment before softly shutting the door for the last time.
Chloe's POV
I know things between Beca and I went badly last night, but none of us know where she is. She told me she was going to stay with Amy, but she never showed up to Amy's room last night. She hasn't answered anyone's calls or texts. I'm really starting to get worried what if something bad happened to her. I would never be able to forgive myself. I grabbed Aubrey's hand and pulled her to the side. "Aubrey, I think I really screwed up last night. I think I'm the reason Beca;s gone" Aubrey smiled at me and sighed." Chloe it's not your fault. I'm guessing she felt overwhelmed with everything and just needed some time to process the whole solo career thing. Chloe are you okay?" I had started crying before Aubrey had finished. I actually didn't know how to answer her question. "I really don't know Aubrey. This is just all so messed up. I never thought she would actually like me back." Aubrey grabbed my hand. "Hey Chloe what's going on. You told me you were getting over your feelings for Beca after waiting for years for her. You told me you were moving on with Chicago. What happened?" I took a deep breath. "I promise I never meant to read it Aubrey but Beca went for a walk and she had left her journal open and laying on her bed. I went over to close it to put it on the bed side table. I didn't mean to look but on the open page she had written about how she was in love with me. I cancelled my date with Chicago and confronted her when she returned. She admitted to me that she was in love with me and was going to tell me on this trip. She told me after seeing me and Chicago together she didn't want to come between us. I was so mean to her Aubrey. I yelled at her and told her it as too late. She told me she thought she should stay with Amy the rest of the trip and I agreed. I really am the reason she left Aubrey. I don't know what I will do if something happens to her. I don't love Chicago I'm still in love with her Aubrey." Aubrey frowned and shook her head at me. "You have got to be kidding me Chloe You have been waiting years for Beca to confess her love for you. Then when she finally does you turn her down especially after your standing here telling me you are still in love with her. You really did make a mess of things this time Chloe and I'm not sure if we can fix them" Before Aubrey could say anymore Amy interrupted us. "I don't know what happened but Beca did reply to my text message telling me she is safe. I tried to text her back but she turned her phone off." I was in tears at this point as Aubrey pulled me in for a hug. We all decided to cut our trip short and head back home. Before we left, I had a conversation with Chicago giving him a shortened version of what happened. I told him I had enjoyed his company but that we would never be anything more than friends. Thankfully Chicago understood and told me to go get my girl.
When we got back Aubrey drove me to the apartment. I decided we both might need a neutral party for support. When I opened the door and turned the lights on my stomach dropped seeing Beca had moved all of her things out of the apartment. I walked to the dining room table and saw our apartment key, Beca's framed photo of us, and a letter addressed to me all neatly placed in the center. I felt dizzy with black spots filling my vision. The last thing I remember is seeing Aubrey's concerned face. As I came to I looked up seeing Aubrey holding me as we both were sitting on the floor. "Oh my gosh Chloe are you okay. You were lucky I caught you in time to break your fall." I nodded at her. I unsteadily tried to stand up as Aubrey helped me up to sit in one of the dining room chairs. Aubrey pulled one of the other chairs over to sit next to me. I grabbed the letter addressed to me and slowly opened the envelope. I placed the letter delicately in front of Aubrey and I.
Dear Chloe,
I am sorry you found out about me being in love with you from my journal. Those were words I should have told you not you reading them on a piece of paper. I knew I had feelings for you my freshman year but I thought it was just an innocent crush so I started dating Jesse. As time went on, I realized that it was more than a crush. I also had to admit to myself that my future might not be with a guy. I broke up with Jesse because I realized it wasn't fair to date him when I was in love with you. I started writing in the journal you found to try to understand my feelings better and to try to work up the courage to tell you about them. I kept telling myself that I needed to tell you but I kept putting it off. I finally decided to tell you on the USO tour. It didn't take me long to realize I had been too late. I know when you get back you will see I have moved my things out of the apartment. I thought it was for the best to put some space between us. I have rented another apartment near a studio so I can focus on releasing my solo album. Maybe someday in the future we can meet up again and restart our friendship. I wish you and Chicago the best of luck. Just know I will always love you.
Love
Beca
I was sobbing as I finished the letter as I looked over at Aubrey, I could see she had tears in her eyes as well. "Aubrey, I don't care what we have to do I have to get her back. I have to find her." "Chloe I'm not sure if we can sweetheart. She won't even pick up her phone for Amy. I know you never meant to hurt her Chloe but you broke Beca's heart and I'm not sure if you can put it back together. Even with that I promise you I will do my best to try to find her okay." I nodded my head as Aubrey pulled me in for a hug.
Aubrey's POV
I helped Chloe to her bed and held her while she cried herself to sleep. After I was sure she was asleep I extracted myself from her grip. I wasn't sure where to start to find Beca but I knew I had to try because now both of my friends were heartbroken. I started looking around the apartment hoping I could find some kind of clue that Beca may have left behind. As I glanced at one of the end tables I noticed a yellow post it note with a phone number. Thinking I had nothing to lose I dialed the number. The call was answered by a reality company which made me suspect this was the company Beca had used to find her apartment. I knew I had to try to play my cards right if I wanted to get the information I needed. "Yes, this is Aubrey Posen you helped my girlfriend Beca Mitchell find our new apartment and I just needed to make sure I have the correct spelling of the address to forward our mail." I was hoping she would fall for my act. She asked me to provide Beca's date of birth and previous address as verification luckily, I had known both. "It's 141 Brookridge Apartments apartment 314 correct?" I continued playing up my story verifying the address and spelling before I thanked her and hung up. I realized I had a long night of driving ahead of me. I wrote a note telling Chloe I was going to be gone for a little while and placed it on the stand next to her bed.
I pulled up to the apartment building early the next morning. I waited in the parking lot knowing I would catch Beca due to her Starbuck's caffeine habit. I finally saw her exit the apartment building I jumped out of my car to hurry up to catch her. Beca raised her head up and as she did, she started frantically looking around making sure no one else was with me before looking me straight in the eyes. "Aubrey what are you doing here? How did you find me?" I smiled and chuckled at her. "I have my ways. Do you think we could go somewhere more private to talk?" Beca nodded her head and lead me back into the building taking me to her apartment. After we entered, I took a seat in one of the chairs." I know the whole story Beca. I know Chloe is my friend but I don't condone her actions. I want you to know that I am your friend too. I wish you would of came to me or one of the Bella's to talk. I'm not going to tell you what to do but I do think you and Chloe need to sit down and have a proper conversation. Chloe passed out when she walked into the apartment and saw you had moved all of your things out. I held Chloe last night crying herself to sleep before I left last night. Please promise me you will think about. I want you to know that I am rooting for the both of you. I also want you to make me a promise that no matter what happens between Chloe and you please don't shut me and the Bella's out. Please stay in contact with us. No matter what happens we are your family too." After I had my say I walked over and gave her a quick hug before exiting her apartment. I just hoped what I said was enough. I got back into my car beginning the long drive back home.
Beca's POV
I sat in my chair thinking a lot after Aubrey left. I realized she was right. I know Chloe had hurt me but maybe I made some rash decisions in the heat of the moment. I decided that Chloe and I did need to have a conversation. I grabbed my car keys and walked out of my apartment. I started my car and took a deep breath as I took the car out of park to start my drive into an unknown future. I pulled up to the apartment building a place I never thought I would see again. I slowly walked up the stairs to the apartment. I stood in front of the door taking a minute before I knocked on the door. There was no answer so I knocked again. Eventually I heard the door unlock and open. After the door was opened, I saw Chloe's face staring back at me. "Do you want to come in?" I followed Chloe into the apartment and took a seat. I could tell Chloe was nervous as she took a seat across from me. "I'm sorry about everything Beca. I know I said some stupid things I didn't mean. I want you to know I never intentionally meant to invade your privacy by reading your journal. I would never do that to you. Your journal and your confession caught me off guard. You were telling me things I had longed to hear from you for years. I guess I panicked in the moment. Beca I am still in love with you. I was never in love with Chicago and I never should have started something with him knowing I still had feelings for you. I talked to him after you left and explained some things to him. We both decided it was best if we were just friends." It took me a minute to realize that Chloe had said she still had feelings for me. "I 'm sorry too Chloe. I really should have told you sooner. I'm also sorry about leaving the tour and about moving out without talking to you. I didn't mean to scare you. I guess I got caught up in the heat of the moment too and made some rash decisions myself. I'm not really sure where we go from here. I know I'm still in love with you. I would love to come back if you would still have me." I sat anxiously awaiting her answer. Only a few seconds passed before Chloe rushed over to me giving me the most passionate kiss I ever had. She eventually pulled back smirking. "Does that give you your answer? I also expect your belongings to be moved back here as soon as possible. You don't know how much I missed you." I smirked right back at her. "Yes, mam I will have everything moved back in soon. Just so you know I missed you just as much." She leaned back in kissing me. We were so lost in each other we never heard the knocking at the door. We only separated after seeing Aubrey in the room. Her first expression had been a look of worry but soon turned to elation when she saw us both. "Finally. Chloe you had me worried when you didn't answer so I used my key. I'm sorry if I would have known you guys were making up, I would never had interrupted. Continue don't mind me I'm just going to go. Congratulation by the way you two really are soul mates and will always find your way back to each other." Aubrey left with a click of the door. We both cuddled up on the couch deciding to watch some tv. I was so glad I had finally told her the truth I knew we had a long way to go but that if we were together anything was possible.